"Daisy?"

His voice was a deep rumble of anger, and frustration. Even over the loud beat of the music I could still hear it as perfect as earlier, and it sent a shiver down my spine; surfacing unwanted feelings in my core.

I gulped the dry lump in my throat that had appeared from his unexpected announcement, and slowly stepped back from the bar.

When I let my head turn to face him his expression was blank. I couldn't decipher what it meant, and I stood before him shaking.

He was definitely confused as to why I ran earlier, and if he asked I would be forced to lie - something he would see straight through as I was rubbish at it.

When I hadn't spoke, and was still trying to read his expression, he shifted uncomfortably. Had I made him nervous? Or did he just not know what to do now he had come over here?

Something tells me the latter, and this was a rational decision on his behalf - not his blonde, green eyed friend over there, who was watching us like we were an entertainment show. I had the urge to go out and buy him some popcorn so he could enjoy the show, his eyes hasn't left us.

I needed to keep this simple, and straightforward without breaking my disguise as well as the truth.

"Can I help you, Nate?"

His eyes were now glued to mine, and he hardened his expression.

"What did I do to make you run?"

He'd gotten straight to the point, despite knowing this was coming, I wasn't prepared to answer. How could I answer? No answer, except the truth, would make sense, and I couldn't tell him that.

I wasn't going to have a stranger feel pity for me.

I realised it had been a whole minute since he asked, and I could feel how wide my eyes had spread. His features were marred with concern, and worry.

"I just had somewhere to be that's all, it was nice seeing you again"

I attempted to put some space between us, and end the conversation, but his hand came in contact with my arm. He wrapped his fingers gently around my forearm, and I flinched. I almost fell into the bar, and naturally grabbed where he'd placed his hand. His touch was so gentle, soft even, and I got scared. Scared that he was just like Robert, and would hurt me.

The embarrassment flooded my cheeks turning them a deep red, and I could feel the heat burning my face.

"Daisy are you okay?!"

Amanda places her hand on my shoulder, and looked round at Nate. Her features were full of concern, and anger for whoever had hurt me, and then she looked at Nate and winced.

Did she know him? Did she think I was overreacting? (She'd be right because I was).

I couldn't understand the look in her eyes, it was as if she had realised something? She knew something I didn't, and I was beginning to freak out even more.

I could feel my heart beat speeding up irrationally, and uncontrollably. My breathing got heavier, and the room began to spin. I was experiencing a common panic attack. I had them regular when something had triggered one of the fears. Now I was having one because of so many different things in one, and I couldn't concentrate. I could no longer see, or take in, the faces of the two people in front of me that were concerned; I couldn't hear them, and my fight or flight instinct kicked in.

My shaken, trembling body opted to flight as I stumbled quickly out the bar.

I don't remember seeing anything, or hearing anything, in my tracks until I reached the sidewalk.

I used the clear, fresh air as a way to fight my panic attack. I concentrated on the sounds around me: the noise from the cars, people walking by, the faint music in the bar. I focused on what they sounded like; how the faster the cars the more loud they were as they collided with the road; how the current song playing inside was one me and Amanda loved to dance to when we were out.

I focused all my thoughts on that, and not the reason I was out here in this panicked mess.

It took a while. My brain kept flashing back to Robert.

Roberts fist in my stomach the day we thought we were pregnant again, but the test was negative. The agonising pain of his foot following, and the several kicks I endured as my body hit the floor.

My brain worked to fight them as it concentrated on the red Mazda speeding past as I thought about how dangerous it was for the driver. I started thinking nonsense: like how I hoped they were wearing their seatbelt.

My brain flashed back again. This time to the day I'd slightly burnt the chicken on our Sunday roast, causing him to hit me directly in the jaw. His cruel words saying "my teeth just suffered from the burnt disgusting piece of meat you cooked! Let your teeth endure the pain".

I shook my head, this time focusing on the stray cat coming my way. I focused on its soft ginger fur, and the resemblance it had to my cat as a child. I always loved animals. We had a dog too, Tilly I think was it's name? I'm not sure. I can't remember. Thankfully, the pet thoughts had managed to work.

Once my breathing slowed, and my body felt less shaky, I turned my head in the direction of the bar. There stood, huge bicep leaning on the glass door, arms crossed, was Nate and Amanda beside him.

Nate looked completely concerned with my outbreak, and Amanda gave me a sad smile.

Amanda knew not to try calm me down, as I had to do it on my own. Being swamped by people made me worse, and therefore I had to find space to overcome my panic attacks.

This was one of those situations where you want to explain. You want to tell somebody they're not the reason you just had a panic attack - because I know it's what he's thinking, and he's not - but you can't do it. You can't stop the awkward, dreaded emotion settling inside you because you've confused and hurt somebody unintentionally. That's how I feel right now. I can't tell Nate why his grasp on my arm sent my whole body into tremors.

The sad part is that he's a really good looking guy and, after this morning, I don't doubt he'd treat me and Hope perfect, but I couldn't be with someone the complete opposite of me. I'm too damaged, corrupted, he's not.

"Honey are you okay?" Amanda's voice was soft, and sweet as she slowly moved her feet in my direction.

The tears were stinging the back of my eyes, threatening to spill. I was utterly confused in what to do, embarrassed, and hurt to even form words.

Was I okay? Or was I not? I couldn't even answer those questions.

Amanda pulled me into a comforting hug as soon as she saw the first tear leave my eye. It slowly rolled down my face, and dropped silently onto my shirt. As I rested my tired head on Amanda's shoulder I noticed Nate was still standing there. He looked sad. Confused too. He gave me a small smile, and returned the action.

I don't know if Amanda said anything to him, but I see understanding in his eyes. I know she wouldn't tell him the whole truth, but it wouldn't shock me if she had said something to him.

"Let's get you home"

Amanda pulled away from me as she pulled me towards a taxi. I eyed her confused, and then said explained that she asked Nate to phone us one just. I must of been so out of it I hadn't even heard.

"Oh."

I looked over at Nate, and mouthed 'thank you'. He put his hand up to indicate it was okay, and I stood watching him until Amanda forced my head into the car.

"Thank you Nate, don't worry"

She'd gone over and rubbed his arm with a sympathetic smile on her face, but he was still watching me through the glass. His eyes were concerned, and full of questions. Questions I knew, but couldn't answer with full honesty.

When we drove off I noticed he was still watching the car from afar, and Amanda looked at me. She wanted to say something, but instead she just held my hand.