Two weeks had passed, meaning me and Nate had been on four dates. My trust for him was growing each day, stronger and stronger. I still hadn't told him about Robert, but I was closer each day. He knew there was something I was hiding, as I sensed it every time something would set off a trigger, or a thought. You don't have to be a genius to know when I'm reminded of what he did. I dreaded his reaction the day I told him. I don't worry that he will leave, I worry he will try find him.

I confided in my new counsellor, whom had started seeing me last week. We'd had a total of two lessons, the first one was just me briefly explaining what led me to book a session with her, and then the second one we talked about Nate. Her words were to: "find a way that seems easiest for you".

At first I was a little baffled, asking her to elaborate.

"Maybe write it down? Or if you want to tell him face to face, sometimes no eye contact can give you more confidence, or courage. Some people choose to say bits at a time too. It really is which ever way suits you"

"What if I'm not sure which words to use?" I tried not to sound silly, but sometimes the words you use determine a lot. Like how serious, or upsetting a situation is for someone can be expressed through words. Explaining your feelings can be difficult to put into those words.

"All you need to do is say it how it is. Maybe that can come across quite brutal, graphic even in this situation, but trust me there's no perfect way of explaining you were ab-"

"Don't say the word. I don't say the word, never." I worried my blunt interruption would establish confusion, but she was completely empathetic.

"I get it. Maybe that could be one thing we can work on. That could also be linked to the reason you're struggling to tell Nate. Maybe you need to accept what happened to you first"

Her words hit me strong. Had I not accepted I was hurt by Robert? I always presumed I had, but maybe she was right?

She had studied me for a few minutes after that as I hadn't answered.

Our session ended not long after, and I was left consumed by how to tell Nate.

While I was sitting in the lounge watching Hope play, the letterbox clapped together as a letter floated to the floor. I quickly picked it up, opening it as I walked straight back to where Hope was.

The letter was handwritten, and as Hopes birthday was this week I presumed it was a birthday card.

Despite loving the thought I was right, I wished I hadn't been.

When I opened it up to be sure, the pink A5 sized card opened letting a small daisy fall out of the card.

My body was sent into a rage of panic. The only person who ever used to give me a daisy was Robert. The day she was born, and her first birthday I'd received a bunch of daisies from him. No one ever sent me them.

The doorbell rang on cue and I froze. My instant reaction was to look at Hope. What if he was here? He could take her. I'd never see her again. I was terrified, my mind couldn't decide what to do. The second ring made me jump up from my seat, but I was still shaking throughout my entire body.

"Hope sweetie, stay here please"

"Okay mommy" she didn't acknowledge me just carried on playing with her toys.

I tiptoed towards the door, ensuring they couldn't hear me if it was Robert. I peeked through the peephole, and saw a delivery driver in a blue polo shirt stood impatiently. My whole body relaxed in relief. Although I don't remember ordering anything? Maybe it was for the neighbours. At this point I was just glad it wasn't Robert, or someone associated to him.

"Sorry, hi" I spoke as I opened the door.

"Hi. Delivery" he placed the daisies on the porch, and left.

"Wait no. No they're not mine" I yelled back desperate for him to take them away.

Robert must be here.

Oh god no.

"I don't want them. Please!" I chased after him as Nate came into view.

"Sorry do you not like them?"

I was so confused.

Did he order them?

I was still breathing heavy, the flowers weighing down my arms, and the beautiful smell filling my nose. The tears fell as I realised I was about to throw the flowers away because of Robert. Which reminded me of the card, causing me to look around hysterically. What if he was here?

"Daisy?"

What if he's watching me right now?"

"Daisy?"

Oh no Hope!

I ran towards the house, panicking in case he took her. I still had the flowers in my hand, and when I reached Hope I placed them on the sideboard to pick her up.

"Oh thank god"

It was then I noticed Nate again. He had chased me in here. His face was full of concern.

"Daisy? Are you okay?" He gulped as he asked me. He must of been worried for my reply.

"Hope sweetie go play in your play corner please"

She left to go play in the dining room, while I tried to piece together an explanation.

"What happened? I'm sorry if you didn't like the flowers" he was desperate for an answer, his whole voice was the epitome of panic.

"I'm sorry I just thought they were from someone else" I shut my eyes as I realised how awful that sounded.

"Who?"

"No one its fine. I love them thank you" I stepped closer to place my arms around him, but he stepped back.

"It's obviously not fine Daisy. You panicked. I saw your face outside, also who's that off" he pointed to the card with the small daisy on top.

This was my opportunity to sit him down, tell him, and finally feel I have someone to confide in.

The words kept going round in my head from Dr Taylor (my counsellor).

"Maybe you need to accept what happened to you first"

"Maybe you need to accept what happened to you first"

I kept repeating it over and over until I felt dizzy.

"Daisy, talk to me you're scaring me beautiful"

"Robert" it was barely a whisper as I stared at the lone flower. I hadn't even read the card, I could of been wrong, but I was pretty sure I wasn't.

"Who's Robert?" He paused for a second, then asked. His voice had changed from panic to deep interest, but also cautious.

"Hopes father" I swallowed back the tears, I don't know if it was the right time but I was doing it anyway.

"I'm sorry, Daisy I didn't realise"

"No. This is not okay" I shook my head trying to comprehend what I was even saying.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't tell him yet.

"Why? Tell me Daisy I'm here for you" he came closer placing both his hands softly on my cheeks.

"I-I c-can't" tears fell, streaming down my cheeks, soaking my face. My cries had become hysterical, as I began hyperventilating in terror. Hands trembling, body shaking. Nate grabbed me closer, then sat me down in his lap. I curled into him in a mess. If he was here, I had to leave. I had to go. He would come for us, for Hope. My heart ached, screamed at me to do something, as my chest seized up, but I couldn't do anything. My arms ached for every time he would grab them, or push me down the stairs resulting in a broken bone. My stomach turned for every time he would kick me in the stomach. My head tingled when I remembered the vicious attack he would take on my hair; pulling it till clumps would fall out, or I'd develop a migraine lasting days. Then my whole body burned when I thought about the thought of having to leave Nate.

I looked up into his eyes, blessed that I had someone like him. He cared about me so much.

"Shh baby I'm here" he stroked my hair to soothe me, yet my body wouldn't relax.

"He hurt me" it was a rational decision. One that resulted in his eyes darkening. His face became a statue, so I looked away.

"Sometimes it's easier to not look at the person"

I remember Dr Taylor saying that, as I looked away.

"W-what do you mean, he... hurt you"

His voice broke on the last part. He knew exactly what I meant.

"He used to hurt me, Nate. All the time" I cried through every word. My whole body shook from tears, and shame. I was ashamed, embarrassed, violated even. My rights to my body was taken away the first day he hit me. The first day I had to pretend sex with him was what I wanted from fear of what he might do if I didn't. I became completely open for Nate, opening up all these hidden feelings. Things I hadn't thought about, or had but instantly pushed them away without allowing myself to accept it. Accept it. Dr Taylor was right, I hadn't accepted what had happened. Now I was forced to. Now I had no choice because I had to tell Nate.

"Daisy, where is he? Tell me he's locked up please tell me he is" he grabbed my face hard, desperate for me to say he was, but he wasn't.

I shook my head, somehow causing more tears to fall. I didn't think it was possible for my eyes to release anymore.

"So where is he?"

I exhaled, and prepared myself to tell him the worst thing I could of possibly agreed to in this situation...