I didn't think my life could get any worse. You read books, watch films, hear documentaries about sadistic, evil people, but you never in a million years expect yourself to be apart of it. You never expect to be called a victim, or watch all the people that mean the world to you become victims too. Is it my fault? Did I do something unforgivable at some point in my life that I hadn't realised about? Or did someone up there really feel I deserved it?

When I was a child, I used to squash spiders if I saw one. It would take me a good half an hour before I had the guts to even come within a few centimetres of the things, but I would do it - eventually. I'd squash them so I wouldn't have to worry about them crawling in my bed in night, or up my leg as I sat on the sofa. Did that make me evil? Did that make it okay for my life to be so cruel? Was this a type of 'karma'?

I sat in the uncomfortable hospital chair beside Amanda's frail body, as I tortured myself over and over again. I tried to piece together an explanation, but it was no good. Nothing came to mind.

Maybe I really didn't deserve happiness. Maybe everything I touched was cursed, and therefore the reason everyone around me suffered. Poor Amanda fighting for her life is a prime example. If she hadn't helped me, she would never be in this situation. She didn't deserve this.

Then there's Nate. I've never felt love like I have for him. He's so perfect. His tender kisses, soft touches, and endless love makes my heart shake in my chest. I have no doubt about how he feels for me. I have no reason to not trust him. I know he's in love with me, and would do anything for me and Hope. Especially for our unborn baby. And for that he definitely didn't deserve this life and future. One full of fear and hurt. Is this how Nate is going to end up? Or worse? Will he get his hands on him too? My stomach churned and another nauseous feeling came over me.

I lifted from the chair forgetting that Nates huge body was next to me, and almost startled when he jumped up with me.

"I feel sick" I said, shaking and trembling. I could barley speak, my mouth was a quaking mess.

"Shit!"

He pulled the bin closer and I spilled my guts in the most unattractive way possible, while he rubbed my back with so much care and love. I was hunched over, almost suffocating his lap, throwing up. Not that it could be done in an attractive way, but I could of at least tried not to do it all over him. Luckily, it landed in the bin and not on him.

"Fuck, baby" he hissed, still rubbing my back in circles.

I gripped his thigh as my head spun a little before slowly raising my head. "I'm sorry"

"Stop apologising, it's most likely morning sickness and stress joined together. Don't worry" he kissed my temple before standing to do something with the bin.

"Erm, I'll be back" he nodded to the bin and left.

I let out a giggle. How did I manage to do that in here of all places? Ergh.

"Miss?" A female doctor poked her head around the door, shuffling towards Amanda.

"How is she?" I asked, looking up with hopeful eyes as she did whatever she needed to do.

"She's okay for now, let's hope she wakes up"

"Yeah, lets hope" I sighed, watching as her chest moved up and down but her eyes stayed locked shut.

————

As soon as we got home later on I was exhausted. Nates parents had Hope and, despite offering to have her for the night at their place, were currently on their way over to drop her off. There was no way I was letting my baby girl out my sight after everything that happened. I trusted them massively, but I also trusted the security of Nates apartment complex more. How did I know if their house was safe enough? I didn't. So she was to stay with me.

"How are you feeling beautiful?"

Nate was hands down the cutest, sweetest guy ever. He could of just asked without calling me that, but he chose to anyway. He always knew how to make my whole body tingle. I felt so special.

"I'm good, I feel exhausted though" I replied on a yawn.

"I know" he said. "What about this"

He stalked off towards the bathroom, as soon as I heard water running I knew what he was doing. He was running me a scorching hot bubble bath, just how I liked it.

"Mmmm" I moaned, jumping to my feet to thank him.

"You need this." He cradled my face as I approached him. "Don't lock the door, I'll tell my parents not to come in. Shout if you feel sick at all or you need me, please"

He didn't need to ask. I would always call for him when I needed help.

Nodding in agreement, I began stripping my clothes off. I was completely naked, about to step tentatively into the water to check the heat, when I caught sight of his heated gaze. I waited till he'd finished his perusal of my body to call him out on it, but I also loved how dark his eyes became, and the excitement that filled them, as he stared at my naked form.

"Find something you like mister?" I teased, sinking down into the steaming water, enveloping myself in the lavender scented bubbles.

"You know I have, baby. Don't take too long will you, I want my way with you"

Just the deep, gravelly sound of his voice and the underlying intentions, had my thighs clamped together under the water. I was lost for words as he exited the bathroom wearing a sexy smirk.

He can have his way with me. All night long.

As I left my sexy little angel to soak all her tension into the steaming hot bath, the doorbell dinged. Definitely my parents with Hope.

Pulling the door open, I wasn't prepared for the almighty jump Hope did into my chest almost knocking me to the ground.

"Nate!" She squealed, her little pigtails swishing into my face.

"Hey, baby girl. We missed you. Mommy's having a bath" I kissed her temple, nodding to my parents to enter.

"So, we hate to bombard you as soon as we enter the apartment - and we are aware this isn't really something you should want to do - but I have to ask, and remind you about your brothers wedding my darling"

As soon as mother started speaking I thought it was going to be something unimportant, like trying to persuade us to let Hope stay again. I would of said no and made it clear. But this? This was beyond what I expected. That bastard didn't deserve my presence at his wedding after what they both did to me.

I'd froze in my tracks, I realised, as she placed a tender hand on my shoulder. I knew she meant well. She was my mother, she just wanted both her sons talking again and one big family wedding. But she knew that wasn't likely possible with what he did, surely?

Hope had no clue what was going on, she'd been chatting her head off about frozen two, telling me about her favourite parts of the film and how 'nanny' - not sure where that came from, but I had an idea - had let her bake frozen cookies. But I'd completely ignored most of it because of those disgusting words that left my mothers mouth.

I noticed how dad stood uncomfortable across the room. He knew how difficult this was. He was one of the only family members who I felt understood how I felt when Sheila did what she did with him.

"Nate are you listening?" Hope asked, a slight whine in her voice. She was most likely tired and grouchy, and needed a little attention from me and Daisy.

"Yes beautiful, I am. Shall we see where mommy is" ignoring my mother I turned to take her to Daisy when she stepped out the bathroom with her sexy, silk gown on. The woman knew how to grab my attention that was for sure, but right now I had to hold back. For several reasons, one being Hope another being my parents.

"Look, Nate, I know how difficult this is but it's this weekend and I really want you there. Let's put it all behind us. You have Daisy now, why do you still care?"

I gritted my teeth at her remark. It's not that I still cared in that way, I wasn't still heartbroken and betrayed by Sheila, I was betrayed by my brother. There's just some things you don't do to siblings, and that's one of them. You do not sleep with their fiancée, and help them steal money from them either. A true sibling wouldn't allow that to happen. How could I watch them get married after all that?

Daisy's face switched from me to mom, and when she came back to me, she was trying to ask me through facial expressions what was happening. Taking a deep breath, I turned to finally answer my mother.

"No. I won't be there. Now please, leave" I held my hand out towards the door.

It took her a few minutes to detach her eyes from my face and move towards the door, but when she did she didn't look back. Dad gave me a sympathetic look and I sunk down to the sofa as soon the door banged shut.

"Are you okay?" Daisy asked, wary as to what she could say with Hope in the room. She was playing with tendrils of Daisy's hair as she snuggled into the crook of her neck.

"She wants me to go to my brothers and Sheilas wedding" I confessed, exhaling as I realised I hadn't told her about it. In my defence, the invitation came before we started dating and it wasn't important. Hell, I'd forgot about it until mom mentioned it just.

"Oh. I didn't know they were getting married" she gave me a sad smile before plonking her bottom on the sofa beside me. "Baby, I don't blame you for not wanting to go. I get it. It's nothing to do with loving her still - trust me I get that -" she smirked indicating our love for each other as a reason she knew that. "But it's more to do with the fact your own brother betrayed you and that's understandable."

"Thank you" was all I could say. I was worried she might be worried, or not understand, but she hit the nail on the head. That's how I knew she was perfect for me, she understood me.

"What for?"

"For understanding. I want to go Daisy, I want to be happy for him, I'm happy now, but I just can't consider him a brother anymore. If I forgive him and forget, I could still never trust him again."

"I know, if you want to go - if you change your mind - I'm always going to be by your side. Me, Hope, and our little baby in here" she held her tummy, and I pulled her closer.

Hope climbed between us and we all snuggled together.

"I love you so much Daisy, and Hope, and this little baby of ours"

I tenderly kissed her, trying to ignore the 'eww' from Hope, and considered her words. I could go, and she would be by my side. Maybe I could forgive him? Or maybe I couldn't?

But right now all I needed was this. Cuddles and love from the three important people to me, so I pushed my thoughts aside for a minute and focused on us. Our family.