My arms are covered in thin scratches and coated by a redness that you can compare to a heavy rash or allergic reaction. I know it's neither, although it does itch like hell and if it wasn't for the fact that my company has shown me a real, bright, and big smile for the first time since I've met her, I would've thrown the cause of my itching, red, and whacked arms out of the window.

Fucking Christmas Tree.

It isn't even a real one, since all those that were left at the Garden Centre were ugly and shabby, so eventually we settled for a fake one. I thought that it was easier as well; no mess, no needles flying around, and no-hassle when Christmas is done. It seemed a win-win.

But when I opened the box, it turned out that fake Christmas trees are even worse than a closet of fucking Ikea. Every fucking branch is delivered separately, and even the stem consists out of three individual pieces. They are organized by color which is supposed to make it easier, but instead is confusing as fuck because there are three types of green.

When I finally got every branch organized by the same colors, all the small twigs were smudges together, so I had to peel them off each other one by one. And when you think the needles of a fake tree aren't as sharp, you are fucking wrong; hence the scratches and redness.

"But it's a very nice tree," Josephine says from next to me, her arms folded in front of her. We are facing the tree which is still empty but finally does have the right shape. Josephine has a few scratches on her hands as well because she helped me, but since she is wearing a long-sleeved purple shirt, the needles didn't get her like they got me.

Daisy is sleeping in the cot in their room. Josephine was a bit nervous about that because she has never left her side when she slept in a bed, but I was able to convince her to help me with the tree in the meantime. I think it's good for her to spend some time without Daisy as well, even if it's just for an hour.

"It fucking better be," I say under my breath. I'm not sure if she heard it, but if she did, she is choosing not to react to it. Instead, she folds her hands together as if to encourage me before she says, "and now the lights, right?"

I nod and give her a small smile. I hate this. This is exactly why I didn't have a Christmas tree last year. Even when I was still living at my mum's, I never helped decorating. Mercy and Mum always went over the top, even building a whole Christmas Village on the tv cabinet. Every time I tried to watch tv I got a bloody epileptic attack because of all the colorful lights that flickered underneath it.

Thankfully, Josephine didn't even look at all the small houses when we walked through the Garden Centre. She was too busy soaking up the fact that she was out. She was carrying Daisy in a baby carrier that Maisie left for her, and therefore she was able to fully enjoy the small trip out of the house. While Daisy slept, we strolled around for a good thirty minutes. We bought lights for the tree and a starter box with seventy-five ornaments as well. The tree isn't that big, so I think it's enough.

I could tell that Josephine enjoyed going out for a bit, and now that we are inside again, she has a healthy color on her cheeks and her eyes are brighter as well. She needs to go out more often; the fresh air is doing her good.

And even though I'm nagging about putting this tree up, I don't mind it that much as I see how excited she is. Like now, how she is eagerly opening the box that contains the string of lights. She is trying to cut the tape that seals the box with her nail, the tip of her tongue in between her teeth. In combination with her red cheeks and wind-tamed hair, she looks different.

She is wearing proper clothes -a deep-purple shirt and a black tight legging- and her eyes aren't as hollow because she had a good sleep for the first time since she can remember. The dark circles are less as well, although I still see a hint of them.

She is cute. And although I'm aware of how dangerous it is to even think of her like that, I can't help it. I can honestly say that in the past nine days, I've never looked at her that way. Never. I was too busy with worrying, I think.

But when she walked into the living room this morning with Daisy in her arms, I just couldn't help myself. I had to check her out; those leggings are just screaming for it.

She is still thin in a way that isn't healthy, to be honest. Her collarbones are sticking out, and her wrists and arms are thin too. Somehow her thighs and bum kept a little fat, but it's clear that she hasn't been eating properly for a very long time. Her belly is completely flat as well, while just eleven days ago, a full-grown baby was still inside her.

But even all those things considered, I can't help but look at her in a different light. It also helps that she isn't as shy and timid as she was when I first met her. By now, she is talking to me freely. The subjects are still light and I'm the only one that goes personal when it comes to sharing things, but she doesn't shut down anymore. And because of that, I've gotten to know more and more, and therefore it's impossible not to see her in a different light.

It's confusing and inappropriate, yet it also makes me feel alive in a way that I haven't felt before.

"Hero?" Josephine pulls me out of my thoughts, and when I look at her, she is offering me two full hands of lights. "Should we check if they work first?"

I nod my head in agreement and shake off my thoughts. Then I grab the plug that's hanging onto the ground and put it in the contact behind the tree, lighting all the small bundles which give Josephine's face a golden glow. "They work!" She excitedly says, her voice still soft. I've noticed how her voice is very reserved and quiet. At first, I thought it was because she wasn't feeling comfortable but now I think it's just the way she speaks. It shows a lack of confidence, almost as if she's ashamed to let her voice be heard.

She starts to untangle the strings which isn't easy. Eventually I help her before we hang them in the tree together. Josephine is very precise when she does this; ever so often she steps back and narrows her eyes to see if it's all evened out. Eventually, she is happy with the result which means we have arrived at the final step; hanging in the ornaments.

While Josephine opens the carton, I reach into the plastic bag that contained the lights, to get out a small box. While we walked through the Garden Centre, something caught my eye, and when Josephine wasn't looking, I'd put it in the pocket of my jacket.

After I paid for everything, I sneaked it into the plastic bag. Luckily she didn't notice anything because Daisy was awake and needed her attention. I'm surprised she didn't notice it when she got out the lights moments ago though, but I guess she was just too excited to decorate the tree.

"I, umm... I got you something," I awkwardly say, and in answer, she slowly moves her head to look at me. I'm already outstretching my hand, offering her the square box. She lets go of the carton flaps that she just opened, and I can tell she is nervous because her teeth are digging in her lip.

"You have to stop getting me things, Hero. You've done so much already and I-"

"Hey, don't worry. It's not much," I interrupt while I give her an encouraging smile. "Besides, it's technically not for you."

She frowns, and I offer her the box once again, nodding my head for her to take it. Hesitantly she does, and with shaky fingers, she opens the lit.

"I saw it and I thought it was fitting," I tell her while she slowly takes out the glass Christmas bauble. It's a pearl-colored one with 'Baby's First Christmas' written across it in golden letters. There's is also a drawing of a rabbit underneath, one that looks surprisingly similar to the stuffed animal I got Daisy yesterday, only it's a soft yellow one.

I curiously scan her reaction, expecting her to say something, but she doesn't. Her gaze stays glued to the bauble in her hands, and I see tears forming in her eyes which she fights in hopes I don't see them.

And just as I want to say something -anything- to break the heavy silence that hangs in the air, she shocks the hell out of me. Her head lifts, her red-stained eyes looking at me before she takes three-steps and crashes against me. Her arms find their way around my neck a second later, and while she stands on her toes and her body is flush against mine, she lays her head on my shoulder.

For a moment, I'm frozen into place. I can't move, even though I desperately want to pull her against me tighter and keep her safe in my arms. She is hugging me. She is so damn close right now, I'm overwhelmed. I can smell her; it's apple and my body wash, that she used this morning after asking me if she could because the one she took from the hospital was empty. She smells fucking amazing.

Finally, after I've forced myself out of my shocked state, I wrap my arms around her waist. And right on cue, I feel her relax in my arms. I enfold her completely, pulling her as tight against me as I can. I try to offer her the solace and safety that she needs. She must crave it after all she's been through.

And I also soak her up. I close my eyes and try to print this moment into my mind. I try to tattoo the feel of her in my arms; the smell of her hair and the wetness of her tears on my shirt.

"Thank you. For everything," she whispers after what feels like seconds but is in reality minutes. She doesn't make any attempt to move away, and I sure as hell won't move away until she does. She needs this, so she can have it for as long as she wants.

I don't respond to her thank you vocally, I just squeeze her two times to let her know I hear her. Her sobs slowly fade, and after she has taken a deep breath, she slowly loosens her grip on my neck and pulls back.

She wipes her tears from her cheeks with her sleeve -something that seems to have become her thing in the past twenty-four hours- and then offers me a small smile. She then holds up the bauble and says, "the moment she wakes, I will show this to her and then hang it in the tree with her. And next year, I'll do that again. And I will always tell her that she got it from you."

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat that's caused by her words and nod my head with a smile. And as if she's felt that her mother spoke about her, Daisy's cries fill my apartment.

"I'll go get her," Josephine says excitedly before carefully placing the bauble back in its box.

I watch her leave, a grin covering my face which is a result of everything that happened in the last five minutes. Before I have time to replay everything though, my phone starts buzzing in the pocket of my trackies.

"Hanson," I answer after seeing it's my boss. I'm a bit surprised that he's calling me since it's my day off, but it's probably because he wants to know how everything went yesterday since he knows that Josephine is staying here until there is another place for her.

"Hero," he greets in return, his tone matching mine. "How's everything going?"

"Good," I answer, fighting the immense urge to sound as happy as I feel. He doesn't have to know how fucking ecstatic I am at this moment. "Everything went smooth, and they are both doing okay."

"That's good to hear," he says, his tone neutral, indicating that he wants to keep this conversation as professional as he can, just like me. "Listen, you're planned for a day-shift tomorrow, but there has been an overlapping. Nancy and Dwight are both working as well. Since the recent events, I wanted to let you be the first to decide. Do you want to take the shift, or do you want me to take you off the planning?"

Before I can answer or even think about his question, Josephine walks in with Daisy in her arms and takes my attention away from my phonecall with Hanson completely. She is talking to Daisy softly, no doubt because she's heard I'm on the phone. Daisy is holding onto her finger and it's just the sweetest sight to see.

"I'll take it," I tell Hanson, my eyes never leaving Josephine and Daisy. The idea of spending another day with them is just too tempting, especially when I see them like this.

"Great!" Hanson reacts, seemingly happy with my decision. "While we're at it, how about you take some of your overtime and use it to take a break? I can miss you until the first of January."

This forces my attention back on the phone call, and I turn around so I can focus on what Hanson says completely. "What? Why?" He never is one for offering free time, especially not during the holidays. It's a bit weird that he is now just giving me almost two weeks without any care.

Hanson takes a moment, which results in a short silence. After he has his thoughts figured out, he says, "you've been working for months without taking a break, and I just thought you would like a break after the hectic days you've been going through. It's just me offering you some peace, but only if you want it. No pressure."

I overthink his proposal for a moment, rubbing my hand over my face to focus. He is right; it's been months since I took a day off, and I haven't been on vacation in fifteen months since I just got my house and wanted to invest in that. A few days off would do me good, and it's ideal to do it now so I can stay here with Josephine and help her.

Having decided, I give Hanson my consent which he seems pleased about as well. He then bids goodbye after he emphasizes once again how I should have a good rest.

Once I've hung up my phone, I turn around to find Josephine sitting on the edge of the couch. She is still looking at Daisy, a smile on her lips and Daisy's hand still wrapped around her fingers. When she notices that I've turned, she looks up.

"That was my boss," I inform her, not because she has given me any indication that she wants to know.

"Oh," she says, her face paling slightly. It first confuses me, but then I realize that she must think it's about the investigation regarding her case. To get rid of that feeling immediately, I hurry out my next words. "He offered me a few days off. My next shift is on the first of January. Until then, I'm free."

Her face lights up, both in relief and because of my news. "That's nice."

I nod and smile. "It is."

She stands, and I follow her with my eyes as she takes the bauble out of the box once again. She loops her finger into the silk ribbon that's attached at the top and then holds it above Daisy's face. "Look what Hero got you, sweetie," she softly says, her cheeks slightly red.

Daisy's eyes focus on the bauble, which is flickering little because the lights of the tree are reflected in it. She doesn't react any further, but she doesn't look away either.

"Let's put it in the tree, okay?" Josephine says, and then walks to the tree, showing it to Daisy before hanging the bauble in the center. ''Like that?" She looks at me questioningly as if she needs permission.

"Yeah, perfect," I smile. I honestly couldn't care less about where she hung it, the way she just involved Daisy into decorating the Christmas tree -with the bauble I bought for her- was too fucking cute. It's a moment that I would've captured with my camera if I'd not just met them less than two weeks ago.

If they were mine.

I shake off the thought, slightly shocked that I let my mind drift to thoughts like that even though they don't surprise me. It's been floating in my head since this morning, and it's like my brain finally had the balls to allow them.

It's not that I think about her like that. I feel protective over them in a way I've never felt it before. Immensely protective. So protective in fact, that I would never be able to do anything with her beyond protecting her. I can't because if I do, there will always be a chance that she gets hurt, and I vowed to myself and to them that they are safe with me.

And I won't break that vow. Never.

Daisy starts crying which pulls me back to the present. She is searching with her mouth, and when she finds Josephine's fingers, she eagerly latches on only to discover that nothing is coming out.

"She's hungry," Josephine says, and then hesitantly looks at me.

"You can go," I tell her, thinking that she feels bad about leaving while we're in the middle of decorating the tree, but then she shocks me once again.

"I could... I mean, if you're okay with it I could... Like maybe I could feed her here?" She doesn't look at me, and the last part of her sentence comes out in mumbles, but I've heard her loud and clear.

She taking huge steps all of the sudden, and while I'm very happy that she feels that comfortable, it takes me by surprise.

"Su..sure," I stutter -fucking stutter- which she takes as a sign to think it over once again.

"Only if that's not weird for you? It's just that it's a little cold in our room and I thought maybe we could like talk or something for a bit." She's rambling, and I can tell she feels awkward now, which I hate.

"No, of course. You can feed her. I don't mind at all. You can do whatever you want, wherever you want, Jo. I want you to feel at home," I tell her, much more confident this time, and in response, she lets out a relieved breath.

"Okay," she softly says and then sits on the couch, in the corner. To make sure she doesn't feel on display, I decide to make a start with hanging the other ornaments in the tree.

"How do you usually spend your Christmas?" Josephine asks after a short silence, and when I turn towards her, I see that she is completely settled. Daisy is laying in her arms, but other than that I don't see anything since Josephine's shirt is covering everything discretely.

"Usually me and my friends do some gift game on Christmas Eve," I tell her while hanging a gold ornament in the tree after I fumbled with the fucking hook for a few seconds. "We basically all buy shit presents and then act as if we all really want them. And we use a dice to decide which present everyone gets in the end."

Josephine listens to me intently, a small smile playing on her lips as she hears me talk about my friends. She stays silent and doesn't react to my story though, she just looks at me, clearly wanting to know more.

"And on Christmas day I'm usually at my mum's house. She orders a huge menu from her favorite restaurant and then acts as if she made it. My siblings and I always pretend that we don't know," I chuckle. I'm still not sure if she really doesn't know though, because she really is a shit cook and she knows that we know that.

Josephine giggles softly. "That sounds nice." She then waits a second before she continues. "So, you're going to your friends tonight and your mom's tomorrow?"

I look at her once again, in my hand another ornament with the hook just as fucked as the previous one. I can't quite describe her expression, and because of that, I'm not sure what she wants to hear.

I had made plans with my friends, but when I heard that Josephine was going to stay with me, I canceled on them. I've explained the situation to Alex and Felix, and told them to pass it through. Like good friends do, they completely understood, and don't take any of it personally.