I pull the door shut behind me with more force than I intended. I feel weird, the need to breathe is more persistent than it normally is. I recognize it from that other time, weeks ago, when she went on and on about how broken she was.

I couldn't listen to it. It hurt me to hear her talk about herself like that. Just like now. I'm hurt. Hurt that she thinks I would leave her and Daisy. I don't understand why she still thinks I'd leave her, after everything.

I'm not only hurt. It angers me too. For the first time, I think I'm actually mad at her. Not extremely, and maybe it's more annoyance once the adrenaline is gone, but I'm definitely not happy with her now.

I need some space.

While the lift takes me down to the garage, I take my phone from my pocket. I open WhatsApp and then click on my conversation with dad. Once the lift alerts me I'm on the right floor, I throw him a quick text with the question if he's home.

I then walk to my bike. It's parked next to the car I bought two weeks ago, and for a moment I doubt which one I should take. The choice is rather easy; I need some speed to clear my head. For just a moment, I need to feel like I did before I found her in that hell-hole. For just a few moments, I need to feel carefree.

Because fuck, all the emotions and feelings that I've gained since I met Jo and Daisy are starting to take their toll. The idea of something happening to him makes me panic more with each passing day, and now that the trial is happening, I'm dead scared of losing them.

I can't bear the idea of losing them.

My phone buzzes, letting me know dad has replied. He's confirmed he's home, and I'm fucking happy he is. I need to talk to someone that understands me, and I think my dad will.

Man-to-Man. Father-to-Father in a way, almost, I think.

I first open the back of the Kia Ceed I bought. It's still sportive although it's a station car, but it has enough room for Dias and all the things we need to take with us when we leave the house. It might even fit more than one baby if the future will grant us that.

And right here, these thoughts, are what's making Jo's statings of moments ago even more painful. While she thinks I'm running for the hills when all this is over, I'm planning in overload. Fucking hell, in my mind, I see us married and with another baby for sure. Maybe even two eventually, so Dais will have enough siblings to play with, just like I had.

I shake off the thought, for now, grabbing my helmet from the trunk before throwing it shut once more. Then, I start my bike, and within a few minutes, the nice breeze that hangs around London turns persistent as speed clears my mind until I arrive at my dad's place.

"How are Josephine and Daisy?" Dad asks as he walks in with two coffee. He's wearing trackies, and his glasses are still on his nose, so I think he was working.

"Yeah, good," I mumble, not wanting to throw out my problems from the get-go. I haven't seen him in six weeks, so I should probably ask how he is doing first. "You? You good?"

Dad met Jo and Daisy six weeks ago. He came to my house, and we had lunch. At first, Jo was timid and nervous, I could tell by literally every little movement she made. But dad felt it, and he handled it with care.

He kept his distance from her, but especially from Daisy, and the more small talk he made, the more I saw Jo relax. Eventually, she was able to participate in the conversation and even showed a proper smile several times. Daisy a doll, as always. She smiled at dad like he wasn't a complete stranger, and I could tell dad was charmed by her.

Later, when dad had left, Jo told me how happy and relieved she was, knowing that Dais would never have doubts or fears when it comes to men. She is smiling like the world is innocent, and although that thought will change once she grows up, she will never experience it first hand; Jo and I will make sure of that.

At least, I was convinced Jo actually meant her and me. It's something that, after what happened today, I'm not sure about anymore. What does she want? More importantly, what doesn't she want?

"Yeah, steady too," dad replies to my question, pulling my thoughts back to the present. "I was working when you texted. Almost done with a screenplay." He eyes me carefully, scanning my reaction. It tells me that his answer is just for show; he wants to know what I'm doing here.

"Nice," I mumble. I don't ask any further, partly because I know my dad and he probably won't tell me until it's completely finished, but mostly because I wouldn't be able to give it my full attention anyway. My thoughts are at home, with Jo and her doubts about me staying with her.

"To what do I owe your company, my boy?" Dad's voice is gentle, his expression pretty much the same. And it reassures me.

"Today has been kinda fucked," I honestly tell him, rolling my still-hot coffee in my mug. "I actually think this has been one of the most fucked up days thus far."

Dad raises his eyebrow and crosses one leg over the other, clearly getting comfortable on the big, leather chair. "That sounds heavy."

I immediately nod in agreement. "It does. I took a DNA sample from Dais. Hanson wants it as proof now that they've caught two more suspects."

"They've arrested more men?" Dad's horrified expression makes me realize that he had no idea there is more than one suspect, let alone five, and slight guilt washes over me as it also lights up how little I involve him in my daily life.

I've always been closer to mum, I reckon, but I love my dad too. And I want him to know shit about my life.

So, because I know that he would never violate my trust, I nod. "There are three more. Two of them are on the run, one of them is dead."

Dad does quick math and then puts his mug on the coffee table in between us. "So six in total?" His tone oozes absolute disgust, and the salty taste in my mouth rises too as I hear him say the words out loud.

Six men. Six animals. And only one lost girl. My Jo. They don't deserve any comfort or mercy.

"Six in total," I confirm. "Leonard eventually gave the team their names, and two of them got arrested not long after. A father and son." I look at dad, and he seems mortified as he processes the information I'm giving him.

"Dear Heaven's," dad whispers under his breath, and if this wasn't the subject that gets to me from head to toe, I would laugh at his proper curse. He still hates swearing in front of me and my siblings.

"Apart from Leonard stating the names, they don't have any proof," I continue after a moment of silence. "Jo has been giving them statements, and she obviously mentioned them, but the police haven't found any trace that leads to them on the crime scene. Of course, they think that Jo's testimony will be enough to convict them, but they want to be sure. And therefore, they want Daisy's DNA. If it matches with theirs, there is no doubt about what they did to Jo. There won't be any doubt left about Jo's statements."

While dad nods and processes what I've just told him, my phone vibrates in my pocket. First once, and then again. I don't have to look to know who it is, and although it causes my chest to contract, I don't pick up. I've never not picked up when she called, but right now I know it's for the best. I need some time.

"And I reckon that's why you're here?" dad pipes up again after he's found the words.

"Among other things."I nod while I throw my phone on the table in front of me. I'm not sure if I should tell dad what Jo said since I want to be careful when it comes to spilling her feelings around, so I start with my own struggles. "The idea alone might kill me, dad. The fact that they will know Dais is theirs. That it will be on paper." I shake my head, that urge to protect them overwhelming me once again. "What if they ever get out? What if they decide to look for her? Fuck, I swear I'll kill them. I'd kill them, and that is just fucking concerning. I'm not like that."

For a moment, dad seems taken aback and lost on what to say, but after a sip of his coffee, he nods his head as if he has his thoughts settled out. "You weren't like that before, but you can be like that now," he then concludes.

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"People change, Hero. Experiences can have an impact on people and they change you. With some, the impact is small, and you take them with you along the way, but with others, they rock you to the bone, and they force you to have another look at life. Sometimes they even make you question everything you once knew."

He seems to speak from experience, and sure enough, even before I have the time to ask, he answers my unspoken question.

"My father's death was probably the first. I change after that. I was young as you know, just twelve years old, and suddenly I was the man of the house. My sisters and mum depended on me in a new way. It forced me to grow up." He takes a sip of his tea while looking at me knowingly.

"When Titan was born, it changed me too. The love I felt for that tiny lad was frightening. I reckon it's different for women because they feel the pregnancy, you know, but for us guys..." He shakes his head, seemingly taken back to that moment and feeling it still. "It's surreal that you can love someone like that from the first time you lay eyes on them. That's the definition of love at first sight. Your child. And the most beautiful thing is, when you were born, I felt it again. And it changed me, again."

"And it made you want to murder people?" I ask, rolling my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I believe that the birth of your child is special. Hell, I've watched Jo do it, and although the love came later, I felt something already back then. But the feelings I have when I think about what happened to Jo before I met her are concerning, not beautiful.

Dad chuckles and shakes his head. "No. It was mostly pride and love." He throws back the last sip of tea and then looks me dead in the eye. "The idea of murdering people came when your mum gave birth to Mercy."

Surprised, I look at him, not expecting this as I know my dad as a very calm, sensitive guy.

Dad seems amused before he elaborates, "Look, don't get me wrong, I love Tite and you just as much as I love Mercy. But when she was born, I felt so protective over her, it almost ended me. From that day on, I watched her like a hawk, and the idea of someone -anyone- hurting my little girl, made me sick and aggressive as I'd never been before. And that never went away. She grew up, and I know she can handle herself perfectly fine, but in my eyes, she's still my little girl. And anyone who tries to hurt her will have a problem with me."

The fire in dad's eyes tells me he isn't joking. I recognize it; that fire seems a lot like what I feel. "It's because she's a girl then?"

"No, son." Dad smiles, his expression softening. "Not just a girl. It's because she's my girl. My daughter." He tilts his head, eyeing me for a moment before adding, "When your mum and I were together still, I felt it over her too. Everyone who as much as looked at her the wrong way had to talk with me. I reckon it's because of what happened-"

His eyes widen for a second before he shakes his head. "What I'm trying to say, is that its love, Hero. When you love someone so deeply, it changes you. And that's okay as long as we don't act on those feelings. Not always, anyway."

"Not always?" I choke.

At this, dad laughs as he holds up his hands. "I've never killed someone. But I can admit I gave some a good punch in the past."

"But how does it not consume you? I'm fucking freaking out, dad." For the first time in a very, very long time, I'm opening up completely. I can't remember the last time I spoke about my fears like this. It feels fucking vulnerable.

"You'll learn to live with it," he simply says with a shrug of his shoulder. "And there will be times where it overwhelms you still. But mostly, it will make you feel alive. Those feelings, Hero, are the ultimate proof that you have something to live for. That makes the change worth it."

I chuckle at his wisdom. He makes it sound so effortlessly simple. "You're a fucking shrink, you know that?"

Dad laughs as well. "Wisdom comes with the years, my boy." He nods to my drink. "You want a beer to swallow it away?"

I nod, although holding up my finger to tell him I can only have one. I've seen too many accidents caused by drunk drivers. And while dad disappears to get us a drink, I focus on my phone once more.

Jo hasn't called anymore, and I feel like shit for not answering although I know it's for the best. At least her lack of more calls calms me somewhat; it means her call wasn't urgent. For a moment debate on calling her back, but when dad walks into the living again, two beers in hand, I decided against it. For now, I think it's good to have some time apart. And so, I text her.

Just give me a few, Jo. I'll be back before dinner. We'll talk then. X

When I've hit send, I put my phone in my pocket and focus on my dad. He hands me the beer and then holds his up in the air. "To love and everything that comes with it."

"To love," I agree.

He couldn't have summarized that better.

When I open the front door of my apartment, I'm surprised by the smell that hangs in the air. It's food, something that includes tomatoes if I'm correct, and on cue, my stomach rumbles. It's almost six, and ever since Jo and Daisy live with me, we've got a solid routine. Breakfast at nine, lunch at one, dinner at six, when I'm not working, that is. And my body is obviously used to it.

Normally, I'm the one that cooks. Jo sometimes helps, but I can tell she's still learning and therefore she seems unsure. When I work an evening shift, Jo usually warms something up, eats a sandwich, or she goes to mum with Dais. It's why I'm curious what she's whipped together now, and mostly, how she did it.

Another thing I'm is used to, is the sound of Daisy's cries. They're filling the apartment, and I can tell she isn't crying for a long time because her cries don't sound desperate yet. She's more annoyed, I reckon.

When I step into the living, I spot Dais in her play box. She's on her back, her legs and arms frantically moving in the air to out that she's not happy. Her whimpers and cries turn harder with each second, and I smile at how determined she already is. She won't stop until someone gets her out of there.

I turn my head to the kitchen, where I find Jo. She's with her back to me, and it looks like she's stirring in a pan. She's pulled her hair on top of her head, her long neck on display, and she's shaking her head as we speak.

I've missed her even though I'm still annoyed with her. I'm not really mad, I think disappointed is the right thing to call it. But mostly, I want to know why she thinks I'll leave her. I need to know where it comes from.

I feel awkward about it too. We've never fought before, and although I don't think this is a big one, I am kinda lost on where to go from here.

It's why I don't say anything and just walk to Daisy. The moment she sees me, her cries turn into inpatient whimpers, and when I flash her a smile, the corners of her mouth lift even though the clear annoyance doesn't disappear.

"Ello love," I mumble as I lift her. I hold her against my chest and press a kiss on her cheek which stills her cries. "Did you not get any attention?"

I chuckle when she babbles, her blue eyes shining when she focuses on my moving lips. She's so damn cute, and I can't fight the urge to kiss her again, this time on top of her head.

When I turn to the kitchen again, I see Jo already looking at us. She seems shy and out of place for a second, no doubt because doesn't know how to act either. Her cheeks are flushed, and she avoids eye contact with me without saying anything.

"Hi," I mumble tentatively. I don't think I've ever felt this conscious in my own house, not even in the beginning when they moved in.

She gives me a small smile. "Hi." Her eyes are on Daisy, who is now contently sucking on her two fingers while her big eyes have turned to her mother. "She's not hungry, and I gave her a clean diaper as well, so I'm not sure why she cried but I was busy here." She points to something behind her as she explains herself without me actually asking, her words rushed. She's nervous.

"Maybe she's just missed me," I counter on my turn. I don't mean to sound smug, but I think I sound it anyway.

"Maybe," Jo mumbles. "I uhm... I tried to eh... make dinner."

I try hard not to look surprised, sensing that it didn't go as planned. "Oh yeah? What did you make?"

"Spaghetti," she answers, for the first time since I came home making eye contact. "But I'm not sure if it worked."

"It smells good?" I honestly tell her while walking up to her. When I'm next to her, I'm able to look in the pan, and I can immediately tell why she thinks it didn't work; the sauce is slightly burned, and she didn't throw in any veggies. Spaghetti is boiling in another pan still, but I can tell it's overcooked.

"I've never used a stove," she mutters in apology. "I'm sorry."

"For..?" I frown. I feel like she could be sorry for what happened earlier, but if it's for the spaghetti then she is crazy.

Jo moves her hands through her hair. "Everything," she then quietly admits, her eyes cast down once more. I can tell she's on the brink of crying, and it clenches my chest.

I don't ever want her crying because we fought.

"I don't know why I think you'll eventually leave us," she then continues before I have time to say anything. "Maybe it's because I just can't believe that this is my life now. So much has happened since you found me, it's hard to fathom everything after being locked up and hurt for years. It all seems too good to be true." She sighs and then looks at Daisy. "I'm really sorry, Hero."

"I get that a lot has changed, Jo. I get that this life is overwhelming for you after what you've been through. Truly, I understand, but my life has changed too. In the best possible way." I look at her and do everything I can to keep eye contact with her so she knows I mean every word. "My life before you and Dais, I had no idea how boring and average it was until you two came along. Even with all your baggage, all the shit we are about to face, I've never -not even a single second- thought that it's not worth it. And I know I never will because I want to commit myself to you and Dais. I want to be there for Daisy every step she takes. I want to show you how beautiful and amazing life can be."

I take a deep breath and shake my head, not believing I'm actually saying all this out loud. I'm basically giving her my heart right now, even though she told me she thinks I'll dip a few hours ago. Did I already say it feels fucking vulnerable?

"It's why I got angry before. I want a life with you, Jo. A proper life, now, but also after we've faced all the chaos. While you think I'll bail, I'm planning. I'm mapping out our life and future, together."