Jon's POV

Why did you have to do this Emma? This was something that she isn't supposed to know. No one is supposed to know. It is something I wanted to forget, but I couldn't. Every time I look at those photos, it just reminds me how big of an idiot I was. What a desperate, pathetic loser I was. Yet, I never had the heart to destroy those pictures. I would always go through them, as if it was my safe haven of some sort.

I look at the wall clock which read 11:23 PM. Emma shouldn't be wandering in the streets alone at this time of the night. Especially when she doesn't own a fucking car.

"Oh Fuck me" I say under my breath whilst grabbing my car keys.

I am driving down the street, in search of Emma. I've been driving for almost 5 minutes and yet I couldn't find her. She can't go that far in such a short period of time unless, she is in some sort of trouble.......

"Oh for fucks sake!" I yell as I drive faster, searching for her. I roll my windows down and shout her name. By the end of the street, I see that there is a big havoc. Police cars and ambulances were surrounding a 24/7 store. I get out of my car to inquire about what had happened. As I head towards a police officer, a familiar brunette catches my attention. She is covered in blood and is being carried on a stretcher. When I take a closer look, I realize that it's Emma!

"Emma!" I scream as I run towards her.

"Sir please stay back." One of the guys carrying the stretcher tells me.

"That's is my girlfriend damn it! Please let me in." I say as I tear up. My desperate form was enough proof that I was her boyfriend because of which they let me into the ambulance van. They cover her head up to prevent excessive bleeding and put an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. I sit beside her, holding her hand. One side of her face is covered in blood and sweat. Her hands are getting cold and pale. No no no this isn't supposed to happen! She can't leave me like this.

"Please don't leave me Emma! Please please I beg of you!" I say. Tears relentlessly cascading down my face.

"I'm so sorry for all that I said Emma! I love you so much baby. Please don't leave me. I'll never ever raise my voice against you I promise" I whisper out as we make our way to the hospital.

****

I am pacing back and forth outside the OT. I am sweating profusely, I feel my heart throbbing, my legs hurt because of standing for hours in the hospital lobby. No matter how exhausted I am, I cannot sit down, my adrenaline rush is so high that I might explode if I sit. I was never the one to believe in God, but Emma did. And for the sake of her, I've been praying for hours since Emma had been taken to the OT.

If I had destroyed those pictures, none of this would've happened. My Emmy wouldn't have been fighting for her life. I wouldn't have yelled at her and she wouldn't have left home. I can feel the bile rising up my throat. I put my hand over my mouth and head towards a nearby washroom. I am not even sure if I entered the gents toilet. I empty my stomach until I was dry heaving. I lean against the wall and collapse, whilst bringing my knees closer to my chest and placing my head on it. I have no energy left in me. I am absolutely exhausted. I can feel my eyes starting to swell with all the crying. I let out a loud sigh. A minute or two later, I stand up with the support of the wall, and head towards sink to wash my face. I look at the mirror.......and all I see is a helpless, desperate 13 year old me. My eyes hold the same sorrow and grief I held when I was 13 years, when.........when I had been.....

Sigh.

I turn the tap off and wipe my face with a tissue paper. I sit on a chair adjacent to the OT, waiting impatiently for some sort of news. Suddenly, the red light above the room goes off and the doctor comes out whilst removing his mask. I get up and rush to his side with my heart beating faster. My hands were shaking, so I held them into tight fists. The doctor looks at me with a sad smile and places his hand on my shoulder.

"She has lost way too much blood, I'm sorry but we tried our best." He says.....

No. This is not happening. This can't be true! MY EMMA CANNOT DIE!

"No you're lying! You're lying to me! She is completely fine you son of a bitch." I scream, holding him by his collar. Some people pulled me back, restraining my hands so that I don't hurt him. The doctor was taken aback, but he looks at me with sympathy and says,

"I'm really sorry for your loss sir. But she is no more. You may do the arrangements for the funeral. Excuse me." With that being said, he left. I collapsed on the floor, unable to decipher what was going on. It's like all my senses were closed shut. I couldn't hear, see or feel anything around me. My mind was completely occupied by Emmy, lying almost lifeless, on the stretcher, in the pool of her own blood. I took her life. Whatever happened was because of me. It was I who killed her! I should've been the one to die! Emmy is a pure soul who deserves to live. This cruel world needs people like Emmy, and not people like me. I stand up and rush out of the hospital. I drive in full speed, exceeding the speed limit, heading towards my apartment. I unlock the door and look at the box lying on the coffee table. I take the box with me and get back into my car. I drive towards an isolated park, at 4:30 in the morning. I sit down on the floor, and take one photo from the box, lighting it on fire with my cigarette lighter. Once it is reduced to ashes, I take the next photo, and one by one, I burn all the photos, trying to erase the memories pertained to them.

I lie down on the dry grass and look up at the sky, the darkness beginning to fade away, being replaced by the brightness instead. I lie there, sky gazing for hours, until, my phone begins to ring. I answer the call, but remain silent.

"Jon, I heard what happened." Caty says sniffling through the other side of the line. I don't know how she came to know, I don't care anyways. I still remain quiet.

"I'm so sorry Jon." She breaks into an other sob. I put the phone on speaker and place it beside my head, so that it doesn't interrupt my sky gazing.

"I'm on my way to the hospital, I'll arrange the funeral ceremony too."

"Jon are you there? Can you hear me? Please say something if you can hear me."

I don't say a word. Caty hung up on me after telling me to take care of myself. Once I am satisfied with the gazing, I get up whilst grabbing the phone from the floor. I drive to a jewelry shop and purchase an engagement ring. The ring is just as beautiful as my Emmy, it has got an emerald stone, which matches with her emerald green eyes.

I enter the morgue where my Emmy is being dressed for her funeral. She's wearing a beautiful black dress with netted sleeves, her hair is left open and is combed back. Her skin is paler than ever, but she still looks as beautiful as the first day I met her. I take her left hand and put the ring on her ring finger. Claiming her body and soul as mine. I gently kiss her forehead and nod at the funeral director, giving him the signal to do the needful.

I drive my way back home with a heavy heart. I can't afford to enter that house, that wretched house from which my Emmy had ran away, crying. My last moments with her was of me, breaking her heart. I don't deserve to live either. I drive across an empty, familiar road, which I know has a dead end. The road beyond this dead end is under construction. Once I could view the end from a good distance, I remove my hands from the steering wheel and place them on my lap. I lean back whilst closing my eyes and wait, till my car crashes, and I can be reunited with my Emmy.

I'm coming to you Emmy.

I abruptly open my eyes and start panting heavily. I'm still lying on the bathroom floor where I was puking my brains out. I let out a quiet sob.

It was just a dream.

I quickly get off the floor and wash my face, everything I do feels like a deja vu. But I prevent my mind from thinking of the worst and head towards Emmy's OT room. I fill my mind with positive thoughts and lean my head back against the cold wall. The red light finally goes off and the door opens. I cross my fingers and slowly get up. I take cautious steps towards the doctor, as if it will help me in getting a good news out of him.

"Is she okay?" I ask. My voice completely hoarse and sore.

"I can't say for sure Mr. Williams. She has fractured her skull and lost a lot of blood. It won't be correct to say that she is completely out of danger. We'll keep her under our close observation for 24 hours, only then we can assure you about her health." He says with a nod.

"Can I see her?"

"Sure, you may." I thank the doctor and enter the room. Emma is breathing through a tube that is attached underneath her nose. Her entire head is covered in bandages. I slowly go towards her and hold her hand, kissing it gently.

"I'm so sorry." I say almost inaudibly, admiring her cold, pale face. There are several tubes pierced through her soft skin, which tugs at my heartstrings. She looks so fragile, vulnerable, helpless.......and it is all because of me, it was because I let my temper bring out the worst in me, it was because I continued to be the insecure son of a bitch I am instead of moving on. If I had just forgotten about my past and moved on, none of this would've ever happened. Emmy wouldn't be fighting for her life.

"I promise you Emma, I am going to give you the life you deserve, baby. Please just come back to me, I beg of you. I can't live without you Emma." I say whilst holding her hand gently. I was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

"Mr. Williams?" A nurse asks me as she enters into the room.

"Yes?"

"I would suggest that you go home sir. We still have to keep her under our observation and you won't really have much to do. It'll be good if you go home, have some rest and come back tomorrow. Emma will be totally fine here." She says giving me sympathetic smile. I give my Emmy one last peck on the forehead and leave. I drive to my house, which feels really weird because the last time I drove, was in my dream, where I was planning of killing myself. It's so strange that your life can take a 180 degree turn in mere seconds.

I unlock the door and enter the apartment, the first thing I see, is the wretched box. I do something which I should've done long ago, I burn it. I then head towards the kitchen for some water, but come to a halt when I see food placed on the counter.

That's why she was here.........fuck.

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