Dad passed away a few days after we had the most beautiful conversation in our lifes, my heart is broke into pieces. I hate to see him suffer but the fact that he left is destroying me.

All of our families across the world come to see him for the last time, my eyes can produce any tears since it's swollen and it hurts so bad. But the pain isn't as bad as the feeling to lose a dad.

I'm standing at the balcony staring at the people that filling the backyard, my hands holding pack of tissues. I've been standing here for a long time, staring at the guest that come for my dad's funeral.

Alec and Ariana arrived two days before my dad passed away and they've been stick next to me all the time, they're comforting me until his last breath. That was the hardest time to admit that my dad is finally gave up. He walks away from us for the rest of my life.

I can't look into my mom, seeing her hurt making me feel worse. Seeing her crying is the worse thing ever, I cannot imagine how is it feels like to loose your partner after few years they've been through ups and downs.

Gabriel and i are so broke, It seems something hard hit us right through our soul, I can't really explain how i feel right now.

"Lana you need to eat" Ariana said to me.

"What do you want to eat? I'll buy you anything" she keeps trying to make me eat.

I have no appetite.

"Just put it in my room, i'll eat it if i want" I mumble.

Ariana sent me a last glance before walking away and leave me, i think she's getting tired of me. I feel like i have no intention to do anything right now.

My parents and i arrived at her house for Karl Valerie funeral. The news is spreading around the world I can't imagine how's her feeling right now. I see everyone is walking into her house with their black suit, the media is filling her front house.

"Apollo?" My mom called me as i ran inside of the house to find her.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I'm going to find Avalana" i said to her and she just nodded.

I'm rushing into her house that filled with a lot of people until I'm walking passed Ariana who's bringing a box of food on her hands.

"Ariana" i said.

"Apollo" she said looking so worried.

"Where's Lana?" I asked.

"She's in the balcony at the second floor staring at the backyard that full of people" she said.

"She hasn't eat anything since this morning" She explain.

Shit Lana, it's afternoon already and i know she hasn't eat since yesterday, I'm so worried about her.

"Okay i'll try to make her eat" i said before walk up stairs to reach her.

The second floor is full of silent so far different from the first floor that full of people, i ran into the big balcony at the long hall and found her standing alone with her black dress looking at the garden that full of people.

I stop running once i saw her, i know she must be so broken right now. I have to be there to comfort her, I can't imagine how she actually feels right now. A strong wind blows her dark brown hair and she seem doesn't care.

I walk closer before slowly put my arm around her, I found her staring straight into the people with a teary eyes. A smile that used to appear on her face that shows her true beauty isn't there and I'm scared I'm not going to see that smile anymore.

Seeing her so broke like this remind me of what i did on the last few weeks, the dumbest decision that i took. I feel so guilty especially seeing her like this break my heart, I can't imagine if i tell her the truth. It'll ruin her life, and i know sarah and Floyd are the people that's hating me the most.

I try to calm her and hold her in my arm, i pull her closer until she finally gave up and broke into tears. She's sobbing in my arm, she's broken, She's hurt. Holding her like this feels like holding a broken glass that's so fragile.

An angel is crying in a devil's arm, I'm the worst man ever. I physically cheated on her and that makes me so guilty.

Her body is shaking, her tears once touch my skin. She's sobbing and all i can do is hold her in my arm with guilty feeling. My hand is slowly moves back and forth trying to calm her. I lean closer before putting a single kiss on her forehead.

"Everyone is looking for you" i said.

"I can't do this" she looks into me with a red eyes that covers with tears.

She keeps sobbing, her body is shaking.

"You're a strong girl Lana" i said.

"I promise i'll be there next to you all the time" i said while connecting our hands together.

"I know you can do it" i said while looking into her crystal blue eyes.

She suddenly started to crying hard and it makes me pull her closer into my arm, she can't say a word without crying and it breaks my heart to see her like this.

"Okay it's okay if you want to stay here" i said brushing her head slowly.

"I love you" i said to her.

~

The funeral is over I stick around Lana's side all the time, she handled the situation pretty well. She's the strongest girl that I've ever met, i can't imagine how is it feel like.

Every time she broke into a tears makes me ten thousand feel worse than ever, i hate to see her like this, I don't want to see her like this.

"Have you told her the truth?" Floyd suddenly asked me.

"Of course I haven't, can't you see her like that?" I said as the three of us watching her talking to some people.

"You're going to destroy her life Apollo" Sarah said.

She's right I'm going to mess up her life and loosing her is the scariest thing that I cannot even imagine. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't want to loose her.

I see jace is hugging Lana while she's crying on his arm, i feel a fire is burning my head but suddenly I realize that i did something worst.

I'm so scared if i tell her the truth and she'll walk away from my life forever, i feel like can't live without her. She's my home, i feel so happy and comfortable every time I'm around her.

I regret it, it is the biggest mistake that I've ever taken in my life, i want to turn back time since the day i started it all with Kayla. I can't even look into myself without feeling guilty for what I've done.

And now seeing her like this the feeling of guilty is growing into a fear inside me, How can i did that to a person like Lana. The memories of her slapping me when she found out that Rachel kissed me flash on my mind.

She's so broke and pissed and what I've done is worst than that, I cannot imagine what is she going to do with me. Probably going to end up everything and pushing me away from her life.

~

Midnight is coming, it is only a few people left in this house. Most of them are her families, my parents are always stand next to her mom all the time. While Ariana, Alec and i are always stay by her side.

"Ariana i feel so dizzy" i heard her talking to Ariana who's sitting next to her with a low tone.

"That's because you haven't eat all day long" Ariana said.

Ariana is right, Lana just ate 2 pieces of biscuits and a cup of tea today. She dropped so many tears while she only drink a cup of tea today, that isn't good for her health I'm worried about her condition.

"What do you want to eat now? I'll buy you a food. Pizza? Burger? Steak? Anything" Alec stand up from his seat before pick a Car keys from his pocket.

"No thank you Alec" She said.

"Let me grab a food from the dining room okay" Ariana stands up and walk away from us, Alec begins to follow her into the dining room leaving us two.

"Lana you should eat okay, I'm worried about your health" I said looking into her blue eyes.

"Okay" is the only word she said.

"Baby" she called.

"Hmm?" I asked then slowly put my arm around her shoulder.

"My father is gone, he walked away from my life forever. Please don't leave me." She said with low voice, her words feels like a big slaps on my heart.

The devils on my side is probably laughing at me like now, like he's successfully complete his mission.

"I will always stay by your side" i said.

"Marry me Apollo, i want you to stay by my side all the time." She said.

I let out a breath while my eyes are still locked with her, a red eyes with a broken vision. I can't stand it when she pleaded, I cannot look into her eyes without a guilt inside of my mind.

"You're tired Lana, you should sleep" i slowly said.

"You don't want to marry me?" She asked.

I know she has a pressure on her shoulder right now and her mind is everywhere like a drunk woman, she asked me like this probably because she's in a hard situation she doesn't know what is she thinking right now.

"Not like that, you should sleep we'll talk about it tomorrow" I said.

She stay in a silent before standing up from her seat then walks away straight walking up the stairs. I know she must be feel worried, confused, scared, and dizzy. She has a mix emotions right now

But what if she really wants me to marry her? While I'm carrying a big lie in our relationship this whole time.