Dear Universe,

I'm sorry for that time I tripped Billy Albright on purpose in third grade. That was my way of flirting and I didn't mean for him to sprain his damn ankle. I'm also sorry for cursing in every other sentence and flipping people off too much and spending my life hating people I didn't even really know. I'm really, really sorry.

Deep breath.

I grip my phone firmly and facetime Nico and Samaya together. There are five minutes until 3:15 PM PST. Five minutes until my acceptance results for CalArts come out.

I want to puke. I think I might puke.

"Did you get in?" Samaya asks the second she picks up.

"It's not 3:15 yet," Nico says.

"Don't worry, Jen. You got this," Samaya says.

She's right. I got this.

Another breath. 3:13.

"It's okay. No matter what happens," Nico says.

It kind of is, but not really. CalArts is my dream school and it has been for years. Plus, it's pretty much the only school that I really want to go to that's close to home. Close to him.

It wasn't very responsible of me to only apply to one close-by to art school but I guess I've been spending too much time with these people.

3:14... 3:15.

I reload the page and watch the swirl of doom that seems to represent the present feeling in my stomach. Because his dad cut him off and he still isn't sure what he wants to do yet, Nico is attending community college for the next couple of years. And while I wouldn't choose my college solely based on him, he's definitely a factor in my decision.

Dear Jennifer Cho,

Congratulations...

"I got it!" I scream. "I got in!"

On the other side, Nico and Samaya cheer so loudly that I can barely hear my own.

"Dad!" I shout as I run through the halls. "Dad, I got into CalArts!"

"You did?" he says. "Good job!"

It's not much of a reaction on the outside, but for him, he may as well be blowing the roof off.

"I'm so proud of you, Jennie," he says and I hear Samaya awww over the phone.

"I can't believe you're leaving me for college," Samaya says.

"Are you crying?" I ask. "You're the one moving across the country."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't think you're getting rid of me, bitch. I'm still coming for the holidays."

My dad cringes at her language but doesn't say anything. "You can't escape me either," I say. "I'll call you guys back in a minute, okay?"

My dad pats my hair and smiles. "I really am proud of you, Jennie," he says.

"Thank you, Dad," I say. When we hug, I feel like my mom's smiling.

The next day at school, I arrive at my locker in the morning and see something peering out of the bottom. My lips start to lift.

It's a note.

Holy fuck, I love you.

When I turn around, he's there and pulling me into his arms. "Congratulations, Jennie," he says. "I'm so damn proud of you."

"Thank you," I say.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

He offers his right hand and I take it in my left. In my right, I hold the note with care.

When we go home, I'll add it to the others.

This story was finished October 7, 2020 at 11:40 PM.

Published January 3, 2021 at 10:09 AM.