"Robbie! Robbie! Give it back please!" I shouted as I ran out of our bedroom chasing after my 6 year old brother. "Haha! Haha!" He shouted back. His black hair and brown eyes only gleaming with joy. I had to admit I was chuckling too. Him and his little Spider-Man tank top and matching shorts he loved so much. "Robbie please!" He had gotten to the end of the hallway. "Robbie! I'm serious this isn't funny! I need it back!"

He had taken my script for the movie role I was going up for soon. And by soon I mean I was about to audition for it that day. "Robbie!" I chased him out of the hallway and into the living room. "Come here!" I closed up on him and tackled him onto the couch. I began to tickle him. "Ahhh!" He was laughing. "Ahhh! Ok! Ok!" His white teeth shimmering. "Take it!" I grabbed it out of his hands. Robbie was laughing and the script wasn't too wrinkled so I guess I was smiling just as much as him.

'Miles for Violets' it said in big bold letters on the front. It was a romance movie and I'm not just talking a short film for school or something. It was an actual movie going to be played in theaters and make millions. And I had part of the script for it right in my hands. I was just staring at it now. I had made the call backs so I knew I already had beaten out a hundred other girls but I don't know if it was the fact that I was going to compete for the lead amongst the best of the best girls or that I would be doing so in less than three hours. But all I knew was that I stopped smiling.

"Hey you're going to do great." I turned around and looked into the office. My older brother Gunnar was sitting at the computer surrounded by papers. "Thanks. I hope so." I smiled kindly at him. I didn't even notice he was there or that he was even home. But then again I haven't left the bedroom the whole morning. I was just practicing and practicing.

"You have rehearsed that damn thing over and over again. You've got this. You're an experienced actress!" "I've acted in commercials and a couple low-end B rated movies as the supporting actress. This! This is nothing compared to that. I have absolutely no idea why I'm even trying when huge actresses are going to be going for it." "Because you're good!" Robbie shouted from the other end of the couch.

He was the purest little child ever. "Yes, because you're good." Gunnar smirked at me. "Thanks." I genuinely looked at him. "But I still have no idea how I'm supposed to fucking do this." "Hey I think they'll love you if they don't hear your cursing." "But cursing is what I fucking." He rolled his eyes at me. Oh Gunnar, his black hair slicked back and his dark eyes matching his dark tee. I never saw him at home anymore. He was always working his ass off painting and building sets. It made me wonder where Nico was.

"So where's Nico at?" "He's at Paramount. Decided to pick up a few extra shifts over the weekend. He really was in zone when we left yesterday. I guess he couldn't wait to finish on Monday." "Sounds like him." Although he was two years younger than Gunnar, he worked just as hard as him. I could see Gunnar working hard at the computer still surrounded by papers. "Whatcha doing?" "Just looking at paint colors online. Trying to find a perfect red for the house door I have to make." His eyes were squinting back and forth off the papers to the computer screen.

I knew he wasn't looking at paint colors and I knew Nico didn't just go into work that day because he was 'in the zone'. It was the same reason why they work as set carpenters and why 18 year old me and 6 year old Robbie shared a room. We were running low on money. Gunnar was looking at the bills we had to pay. That's what all the papers around him were. Bills.

I guess Gunnar refuses to tell us. I knew we didn't live in the nicest house or wear the nicest clothes but, it was still sweet that Gunnar was trying to protect us from the truth. I guess he figured I'm three years younger than him and he was almost two decades older than Robbie so he's gotta protect us. He has been doing that since dad left with some other woman two years ago and especially since mom died a year ago. He was always protecting. I guess because to Robbie he really was the parent.

I was planning on selling my car. I knew it was a ratty ass Corolla and probably wouldn't sell for much. But I'm sure it would help. My acting gigs used to pay enough especially when mom was alive and working. But now that she isn't, it's been hard. I needed this role. It's the lead, I'd be paid so much Gunnar and Nico wouldn't have to work. It made me grin at the thought. I needed this role. I needed it. We needed it.

"I hope you find the perfect red." I said to Gunnar. "Thanks. I know you'll nail the role." He looked at me with such kind eyes and a kind heart. He fidgeted his hand around the papers and pulled out a box of cigarettes. He pulled one out, stood up and headed out the back door. He started smoking when mom died. It was a shame I know but it was the only thing that relaxed him and put him at ease even if it was just for a couple minutes.

I looked back down at my script and I realized I had to get down to Paramount Studios. Traffic was going to be a nightmare and parking would be even worse. "I've got to go. I'll see you later." I said to Robbie. "Will you be home for dinner?" He sat there in his Spider-Man tank top and shorts. "Of course."

I picked up my car keys off of the dinner table, grabbed my headshots and headed to my car. I knew I didn't need to be there for three hours but, I had to wait in a massive line to audition that would take at least two so I knew I had to get there early.

I hopped into my Corolla and drove to Paramount Studios. I hated Los Angeles' traffic so much and coming from Boyle Heights wasn't a safe drive either. People in homeless encampments yelling incoherent language at each other while others pushed shopping carts into the busy streets. We did live on the poorer side and we all knew it wasn't safe for any of us.

As I made my way to downtown and further to Melrose, things started to clear up, buildings got taller with more color and people were actually walking down the sidewalks and not sleeping on them. And I got more comfortable driving. "Hey Siri, play Plain Jane by A$AP Ferg." Little bitch started playing the clean version. My goodness. "Hey Siri, play Plain Jane by A$AP Ferg Explicit." It finally worked. Thankfully. And thankfully, I made it to Paramount in under an hour.

The gates were a gorgeous gold that I couldn't get used to. I know I practically grew up here but, every time I see it is so pretty. I told the security guard that I was here to audition for 'Miles for Violets' and he gave me a nod and pointed to the left. He opened the gate and I drove on in. The place was already packed and most of the parking spots were already full. I was so surprised. I took the left turn the security guard wanted me to take and my jaw dropped as I saw it.

There was this line of girls coming out of a door of a building. The line must have had only like ten girls and they were all lined up outside with their scripts in their hands chuckling. They all had their nails painted pink and their hair done in curls. Their teeth whiten so that they were as white as heaven. These girls were in hot red mini-skirts and their nicest white camisole. They stood tall in their trendy high heels and smiled as their sunglasses reflected the sun. They all looked so beautiful. Damnnnnn. Oh dear goodness.

I pulled into the closest parking space. I was now close enough to them where I could hear their chatter about their silver bracelets and teeth whitening strips. I felt my stomach drop. I had rushed out of the house so quickly I forgot to change clothes and, and brush my teeth, and, and, and my hair! Ahhhhhh! Shit!

I had on a navy blue t shirt with sweat stains under my armpits, ripped black jeans with an actual milk stain on it (thank you Robbie) and then some dirty black combat boots I've had for the majority of my life. I was going to screw this audition up.

I looked nothing like these girls! Literally nothing! I looked into my car's cracked mirror. My dark brown hair was in knots of course it was. I tried putting my fingers through it but realized a worse problem: I didn't have any make up on.

"Jesus H. Christ Alyssa Barron. What are you thinking? You're about to f this all up oh my, oh my, oh my. Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, think. If I speed on out of here and book it to the freeway could I get home and change? Oh no wait, no, it took like an hour to get here, I'd be cutting it too close if I left and I have to wait in this eternal line too. Shit."

I got out of my car just muttering "shit" under my breath as I slammed my door. Some of the girls were staring at me, how fun. "Ugh goodness ok just get to the end of the line." I got behind a girl and stared at cover of the script I had in my hand. "Miles for Violets."

I assumed all these girls were going out for the main lead too: Violet. Violet from what I could tell was a bold, feisty, devious, arrogant and a liar of a woman. It was part of the rest why I was going out for her role. I was bold, feisty, devious, arrogant and a liar of a woman. That is me. I am all those things. It gave me hope I could do it but, I just really was nervous.

Violet is from Compton so she's tough and colder to most people especially to Miles who plays her love interest. Miles and Violet are meant to be and Fate pushes them to be together. Violet and Miles used to date but Violet got messed up in drugs so they broke up. Years later, Violet and Miles met again but Miles has a girlfriend named Tracey. That was as far as the background part in the script they gave us said. Also that Miles and Violet have matching necklaces and both work at the same company.

I was wearing a necklace, thankfully so I could look a bit more prepared. Anyways, the scene I had to preform was when Miles and Violet are having a bad night at his place, they start to kiss but, Miles pulls away and Violet breaks down because of guilt and jealousy of Tracey. I literally had to perform a breakdown scene and I was glad they chose this scene because boy I knew how to cry hard.

The line moved slowly and it didn't help that I was so nervous! Oh man. I must have reread my script fifty times and tried untangling my hair a billion. I knew I looked like trash and I knew I wasn't as rich as these other girls but, I just hoped they'd give me a shot. And since Violet is rougher maybe they'd think the clothes I'm wearing now are to make me look like I'm in character? I have no idea but, I hope so. I hope I can pull this off.

Oh shit.

And then it was my turn to audition.

There were about three people sitting down behind a desk. A seventy year old man with receding grey hair, a thirty something year old blonde woman with Gucci glasses and a forty year old in all black. "Hello. I'm Mr. Beckenridge the casting director and this is the screenwriter Mrs. Blackwell and executive producer Mr. Grenfield." "Hello. I'm Alyssa Barron and I will be auditioning for the part of Violet." I waved to them as I dropped off my headshots and script on their long desk. It was a petite room with another door in the back and grey walls. It was just in there. Dead silent.

"Whenever you're ready." I took in a deep breath. I had been acting my whole life and I had gone over this part a thousand times. I knew how I wanted to do this scene. I got this. "Ok."

The forty year old man was reading Miles part. "Violet. Violet. Stop." Our characters were supposed to be kissing. Then Miles is supposed to pull away after Violet gets carried away. "I'm sorry, I'm-I'm so damn sorry." Violet panics. I started at the man in all black with the most horrified expression I could. Violet would be so horrified if she made Miles feel like this. So uncomfortable. So unsafe.

"I'm so sorry Miles. My God, what am I even doing? Just what am I-I God I'm sorry. Just-just-I" "V." "Look, I should go. But I don't." "You don't what?" I say without messing a beat: "I don't do it for you anymore do I?" "V. Look it's just-"

"I don't do I? You don't want me. You don't." "V. Look it's just-" "It's just what? Oh yeah I know what it is. Tracey. That's what it is Tracey. Goddamnit! Then why the hell did you invite me out tonight? Why the hell did you fucking just fucking take me out and and then take me back here. Why? Why! If you're so caught up over Tracey! God. Why?" "Violet." "No wonder why you like her and not me!"

"She's richer than me, smarter than me, taller than me, has a bigger butt than me, bigger boobs, darker fucking hair! Oh yes Tracey! She's got the right hair, the right shoes, the right bag! Oh my! She smiles all the time and laughs without a care in the world." I was smiling as I said it with tears coming out of eyes. Then I sniffled and gulped: "No wonder why you like her. She's kinder than me, she's happier than me, she's nicer than me. She's a fucking saint. No wonder why you like her."

"Cut." The guy in all black called. I was scared did I mess up? No, no, no, no, no. "Did I do something wrong?" "No, no you're doing very good." The blonde woman spoke up. The one with the Gucci glasses. "Yeah very good." "In fact we want to call someone in to do the rest of the scene with you." Oh damn. "Oh ok." That must be a good sign right? I hope so. "Zach!" The blonde woman called and in through that back door came in a blonde clean cut blue eyed guy. Who was about my height.

"Hi I'm Zach Riley." "He'll be playing Miles." Holy fuck, these guys did like me then. Why else would they bring the actual star out to rehearse with me? Wow ok. I guess they want to see our chemistry and how well we work together. Ok, ok, ok, that means I really need to impress them. "Hi I'm Alyssa Barron." I shook his firm hand. "Ok guys take it from when Violet says: 'I messed up.' "Ok." I remembered where in the scene that was.

I sniffled and turned away from him: "I messed up what we had and now and now God. And now you want Tracey. God I messed up." I got really close to him. Staring right into his eyes. "You and I, you we-we-we-we used to drive around blasting Panic! At the Disco at one in morning and and go to breakfast at IHOP. And and get those silver dollar pancakes. Do you remember that? Because I sure as hell do.

We used to do so much but I-I-I-I just had to mess it all up didn't I? With drugs and goddamn drugs. I just had to choose them over you. I just had to."

"Violet." He tried stroking my cheek with his hand. I flinched away. "I just had to screw this all up and and I'm sure you don't think about me like that. I'm so damn sure. You don't care you, you pull away when I kiss you, you, you, you even took off your necklace I bought you and and, you stay as far away from me when you can." "Violet." He said in the most timid voice somehow even getting closer and then he pulled something from under his shirt. It was the necklace. "Violet, I never take it off."

Most people have boundaries when they kiss someone for the first time or feel skeptical about it. But as for me I have no boundaries. And I knew how I wanted to do this scene. I threw my arms around his neck and pushed my body into his. I gave him a passionate very believable kiss. A very desperate one and when I pulled away out of breath, I was staring into his blue ones as I pulled out my necklace from under my clothes. "I never take mine off either."

Everyone in there started to clap. Fuck yes! Zach shook my hand. "You're really good!" "Thank you! So are you!" "That was wonderful!" The man in all black said. "Very emotional." The blonde woman stated with a glowing smile on her face. They had all complimented me well, except for the seventy year old man. And he was the most important. He was the casting director and he was just staring down at his script. He didn't seem to be the very warm type from what I could tell. But then he looked up.

"That was lovely actually. What did you say your name was again?" "Barron. Alyssa Barron." "Well, Alyssa Barron. I think you're our Violet."

I got the part! I got the part! "Oh my fuck-oh sorry oh my gosh! Thank you so much!" I ran over and shook the man's hand and then the woman's and the younger man's oh my gosh holy fuck no fucking way this doesn't make any sense. "I got the part I got the part! Oh my I-I-I gotta call Gunnar, and, and, and, Nico and then and then Robbie, Vincent, Weston oh my! They're gonna be so happy and and and Gunnar and Nico they they they don't have to work as much! My God I can't believe this is happening! This is seriously happening! This is!"

"We're glad to see that you're so happy. We really enjoyed your performance. It was great. You just sound like how I had Violet in my head. And great job on the clothes too. You really look like her." "Yeah, that was totally on purpose." Wow nope. I just forgot to change. But yay! "Please meet back here tomorrow at four o'clock. We will begin read throughs, you receive your first official script and meet Miss Roselake who is playing Tracey."

"Ok of course. I'll be there! Thank you so much!" I had to sign some legal documents and contracts and they went over pricing and schedules and I just went yes, yes, yes! I signed everything and then walked out of that building happier than I had ever been in my entire life. Oh my fucking god I couldn't get over it. I sped on out there just screaming in my car. I was just laughing and screaming. I was so damn happy. I flew into my drive way and I sprinted in. "I got the part! I got the part!" I heard a door slam and I saw Robbie still in his spider-man clothes gleaming with joy/ "You got it?" "Yes!" He ran into my arms just yelling. "Oh my god! You did it!" "I did it!" I then heard movement coming from outside. Gunnar and Nico were sitting on the broken grey steps out there and had begun to look over at us. I noticed the black smoke coming off of the cigarette in Gunnar's hand. The door opened and in came a gust of yellow sunlight. "What's all the commotion about?" Nico came inside. "Alyssa she-she did it!" Robbie was still in my arms. "I got the part!" "What?" "No way!" They both ran over to give me the most excited hug I had ever seen. I had never seen them so happy before. They were just in pure shock like I was messing with them or something.

"You're not lying? You can't joke around like that Alyssa." "I'm not joking. I'm serious. I start tomorrow. I go in to go through some read throughs, I-I get the script and I-I meet my costar." "My gosh Alyssa. Are you sure you're not joking with us right now right?" "Nope this is all real guys." And then they hugged me even tighter.

They were all so happy for me. I couldn't believe it. Not any of this. I couldn't stop smiling. It felt like I just won the lottery. Hell, I just did. We're gonna have so much money now. And they all knew it. Nico, Gunnar, and Robbie all took me out to a little diner called Frankie's just down a couple streets from our house. We always went there. It was a tiny retro 1950s looking place with the yellow mustard and red ketchup bottles on the silver metal tables. We only went there for special occasions because it costs so much to eat out for four people. But goddamn was that a special day.