"I'm sorry."

I was sitting behind the counter like I had always done with Wes. Like it was something I had done forever. But I was so nervous this whole time. I had messed up so badly between the two of us. I felt terrible about it. But it just was like the press interviews, I needed to be delicate with the situation and to just be polite. Oh fuck, I wasn't really good at that.

"I know." Wes finally let out. "I just don't understand why you couldn't have told me earlier instead of just continuing to date me." "Wes I-I really care about you. I-I really do. Like you're my best friend how could I not? I really do love you. I do. I just didn't know what was going on inside my head and what I was feeling. I'm so sorry. I really messed up." "Yeah, you did. But how could you not know that you liked me?"

"I love you Wes I just think I mistook that for being in love with you. I really care about you and that's probably why I thought I was in love." "I know I know." He just lowered his head down and nodded. "I feel so bad. Just so you know I didn't cheat on you with Amber. Nothing happened between the two of us. Nothing like. Nothing. I know that dance we shared was too much. It really was but that was it. We never kissed or anything." "You're not lying to me?" "No. No. No." "Ok... I'll believe you." He went back to lowering his head. "Thank you." I just kept looking at him. I didn't know how to make this better so I just sat quietly.

He finally looked up. "But how could not tell me that you were having these feelings towards girls?" "I just didn't know what to tell you. I-I really didn't. Yes I was questioning it but it didn't have to do with anything that you were doing. You weren't doing anything wrong." "I just wish you would have told me." I let out a sigh. "So do I." "...How long have you known?" "Like about two months. Like since we broke up." "Are you and her dating?" "Yes. But I didn't mean for it to happen like this." He just nodded his head.

"I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about." "No Wes. I don't really care who knows. But Amber does." "Don't worry I won't." "Thank you." "But like uh, a couple weeks ago, when I saw you getting out of her car, you just you looked so happy. Like truly happy. I hadn't seen you look that happy before. And I watched you as you got this movie role." Oh Wes. I was almost crying he was so sweet. Instead of being mad that I was with Amber, he was just happy I was happy.

My eyes were welling up so I stood up trying to look away from him. "Lyss, why you crying?" "Why are you so goddamn nice to me even after I do all this to you? Like what the hell man." He stood up and gave me a big hug. I just cried into his shoulder for a minute. He was too damn nice. Always such a gentleman. Just honestly a good guy. I put him through so much crap and he still comforts me. "I'm sorry." "It's ok Lyss. I've had a lot of time to think over these two months and I understand." "I really just want us to be friends again and and like just talk how we we used to and and hang out here and joke around all the time. I missed you so much." I sniffled through the whole sentence and I wasn't sure he could really understand me. And yet after everything I put him through he just uttered: "I missed you too."

"So I fixed things between Wes and I!" I shouted cheerfully in the middle of the cobblestone road and vintage lighting in Roselake. "Really!" Amber seemed just as happy as I was as she flopped into the alley way with our cheesy fries and a Dr. Pepper. "Yeah like he totally forgave me and everything like he said he felt happy for you and I." Amber stared at me for a second. I knew what she was worried about. Of course she was worried about it. I sat down next to her. "Don't worry he said he wouldn't tell anyone and Vince just thinks I like you. That's all who knows." "Ok good." That didn't make me feel any better. I think Amber could tell.

"I'm glad you and Wes are talking again." She reached out and held my hand. "Yeah me too." I sounded disinterested. "Lyss I-" "I know Amber. You didn't mean it like that. I know." I let out a gust of air as I sat there in silence in that fake alley way. Yet I still let her hold my hand as she stroked her thumb against it. "You know I-I wish we could go out there and hold hands like this in public too. I wish I-I could kiss you and hug you and touch you and not have to worry. I really wish that too Lyss." "You know we can Amber." I looked over at her and she was just staring at the floor. I knew her answer. "I really appreciate you doing this for me. I really do. I know it's hard. But thank you so much for putting up with all of this." It honestly made me really sad that we were keeping this a secret. But I just cared about her so much.

"I really like you Amber that's why I'm doing this ok?" "Thank you." She gave me hug. I know she didn't mean it. And she really did like me too. "Hey so we're going to beach soon right?" She let go of me and smiled. "Yeah, yeah for sure. I'll just have to talk to my parents." "Ok cool." "And ooo I had a date idea!" Amber's face lit up as she said those words. "Please don't tell me it involves face masks or getting our nails done." "Hiking!" "Oh fuck no!" "C'mon! It's to the Hollywood sign!" "I rather us go away to a spa for a weekend and take synchronized swimming classes together with a bunch of old ladies!" "Please! Look, it's not that far of a hike and we can take cute photos together and get in shape and-I'm not making you wanna come am I?" "Not at all. It's LA so it's going to be like ninety degrees, we're going to be sweating to death, and oh right, it's up a mountain!" "Please! You'll be the greatest girlfriend ever! Please!"

She used the word, girlfriend and the adjective, greatest. "Pleaseeeee. You get to see me in spandex and a sports bra." "If I pass out of heat exhaustion this is your own fault!" "Yes!" She tackled me with joy in her grin and then we fell to the ground laughing.

"How on earth do you not understand?" I feel like Dimitri was the worst tutor ever. Honestly. I truly did not understand anything. "Just read the question and think about what numbers are there and how that correlates to the equations we learned." I had gotten a now 44/70 with his help. A whole nother five points to my grade yay! "So I take the speed of light formula and take twenty seven and eight and plug it in?" "Yes! And then once you're done you have to convert the numbers into meters per second." At least I wasn't doing worse. But my grade overall was. I now, with the quizzes, not just the tests, have a solid D. Not even a D plus! I was so worried. Like panicked.

"Is this right?" Dimitri looked over his work and then my work. "Yes!" "Really? You're not being sarcastic right now right?" "You got it right!" "Fuck yes!" Dimitri and high fived we were just pure happy! Then the librarian looped around the bookshelves. "Shhhhh!" She pretty much yelled it. She gave us a death stare before she headed to go and yell at some other students. But Dimitri and I were just too damn happy to care.

"I understand!" "You understand!" "So like are all the questions like this?" "The next five are but once you get here it's the speed of sound." "Ugh! No! I understood! Why does it have to change so fast! Ugh! I'm never going to pass!" "Look, we already went over the first three and with the five you do understand that will give you eight." Dimitri then opened up the second page. "And since there's only three left..." "I'll get a 13/16!" "Yes!" "Wait what percent is that?" Dimitri started plugging numbers into his calculator. "That's a...81! You'll get an 81 percent!" "Ahah! Yes! Fucking finally!"

I think that was the first time I really understood anything all year in that class. It was March. Fucking finally was right. But it was also fucking finally was that Vince and that tampon girl Mary finally got together! I saw them hugging in the hallway and I shot him a big thumbs up with this stupid grin on my face as I walked by. He just shook his head with annoyance at me. He then fucking kissed her! Ugh! I was so proud! I practically jumped up when I saw it! It was great! So adorable. I was happy for them.

I was happy school was making sense for a change and that Vince finally had a girlfriend. But I was still so stressed about work. I had a very important scene coming. Very important. This was the last month of filming and this was probably the most important scene I had to film. Violet loses the case and gets evicted out the country but as she's leaving, oblivious Miles who has no idea Violet is even having legal trouble, proposes. I literally have to film a proposal scene.

How the fuck do you even film that? Like all I can think of is acting surprised and then jumping up and down like what else do I do? I was out of ideas and I was stressing my brain out in my trailer. I had reread the script a thousand times, I knew the lines, I just had no idea how to put this together. The script was lying on my face and then I heard a knock at the door. It was Zach. He came in. "Hey so how do you wanna do this scene?" I sat up. "Are you just as lost as I am?" I really hoped he was too so the director could get mad at the both of us and not just me.

"Uhhh, I meant more like rehearsal wise like where we stand and stuff." "Oh oh right." Fuck I was alone. I laid back down. Zach came over and sat on the couch. "Look, I just am out of ideas." "If you think about it like this, the scene is actually a sad one." Now I was even more lost. What the hell was he talking about? "Whaaaaat?" "Violet is getting evicted from the country. She's sad, she's lost, she's heartbroken she lost the case. She isn't happy. So when Miles proposes she is going to cry even more." "So when Miles proposes she just needs to hug him like she's scared of losing him?" "Bingo." "You really think this will work? Or look good?" "I don't know you tell me. Let's try it." Zach stuck out his hand and gave me a smile with his white white teeth. I looked at the script one last time before standing up.

Zach walked outside and knocked on the door, coming back in character. I opened up the door. "Miles, I'm sorry I just can't talk right now I'm kind of busy." I almost rolled my eyes at him. "Please Violet, it's important." He said with a gleaming smile. I opened the door further and he came in.

Before I knew it, I opened up the set door as Zach came in. The rolling cameras got closer and the lights got brighter. "Violet, I-I know you're busy getting ready to go on your trip." I gave him a worried look because little did Miles know it wasn't just a trip. "I-I just had to say this now and I-I-I couldn't wait till you got back. I-I love you." He smiled greatly right into my eyes. I gave him a slight smile and a sigh. "I love you too Miles."

"Like I really love you. I know it's kind of crazy that we just so happened to meet up again but I'm so damn happy that we did. I mean whatever crazy luck that got me fired got me to see you again." He took my hands. "And I'm so grateful for that. And I know high school was years ago but it feels like just yesterday when we were together. And being together with you today is just so perfect." He took out my necklace from under my shirt and he took his necklace. He stared at me moment more out of nervousness and happiness but I was still just so heartbroken. His voice shook as my eyes rattled. "A-And I-I wanna be with you tomorrow and forever."

He got down on one knee and I began to tear up. "Violet Adams will you do me the honor of marrying me?" I immediately grabbed him and started crying as my body shaking and nose sniffled uncontrollably. The director yelled: "Cut! That was great you two!" And I knew we nailed it! Fuck yes! I high fived Zach. "Nice job!" "Yeah you too!" "And thanks for the advice." "Yeah totally just talk to me again if you are ever out of ideas again for these last couple of scenes." "Yeah if I'm ever flopped face down in my trailer again. For sure Zach." I joked and he chuckled.

"Oh my fucking God Amber!" I yelled as I gasped for air and not for the reasons you'd think. Or at least not for the reasons I had hoped. We were hiking up to the fucking Hollywood sign in that ninety degree weather I knew was going to be there. Pain. I was in pain. So much fucking pain. "Amber why! It's hot and this is such steep walk!" I was in an old worn grey t-shirt and some black loose sports shorts. "Ahh!" I had bent over panting with my hands on my knees and everything. Amber turned around in her vibrant purple sports bra and matching spandex. Her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail and her teeth glimmered as she laughed.

"Oh my gosh Alyssa! How are you this tired?" "How on Earth are you not sweating? It's boiling out and you just don't! How? Like you can just stand there and just look sexy like what the fuck." She chuckled. "C'mon it's not that far." "For you. It's not that far for you!" "We are almost there and you've been doing great sweetheart." I smiled at her in between my pants. "You're so lucky you're cute." She smiled so greatly. And then I began to take a couple steps slowly up the mountain. "And she walks! Yes!"

"Amber Roselake! Alyssa Barron!" I heard someone yell. Oh God no. I had sweated off all the makeup I was wearing. My mascara was running, I had armpit stains, and my hair was a mess. Ohhhhhhh noooooo. I turned around and of course it was a little thirteen year old girl with her braces and glasses and her phone in her hand. Oh noooo. "Oh my gosh hi! So sorry to bother you guys. But could I get a photo?" She was so geeky and adorable Amber and I just thought she was so cute. "Yeah of course!" Amber smiled back. "What's your name sweetie?" I asked as she opened up the camera app on her phone. "Rebecca!" "Awww well it's nice to meet you Rebecca!" "It's nice to meet you too!"

Rebecca then tilted her phone but she was shaking so much as she took the photos. "I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous!" "Here let me take it." I then held the photo and wow I looked terrible. It was just lines of black coming down my face and around eyes were just big black circles. My hair was pretty much standing up too. Yet I still took the photo for this adorable little girl. She pretty much squealed as she turned around to face us. "Eeeee! Thank you so much! I can't wait to see Miles for Violets!" She giggled out of joy. "Well, I hope you really like it." "We're excited to share it with you." She giggled again.

That little girl Rebecca posted the photo online. And then some fan page of Amber's found it. And then they posted it. And then more fan pages of her found it and posted it. And then fan pages of me too. And then TMV found it and did a story on it. And it just went viral. Viral. And it was just perfectly timing because as I was on The Late Late Show with James Cordon, they projected it on a screen to show the audience. "So anything wanna say here Ms. Barron?" James was trying to be funny. Everyone was laughing. Oh gosh. I needed to do what I did best: make fun of myself. Jokes.

"Nope." I joked. More people started laughing. "So is this a new look you're trying out or-" "I mean you could say that. It's more of my all natural look." There was a chuckle from the audience and from James Cordon. "So how did this come to be?" "My co-star Amber Roselake and I went for a hike up to the Hollywood sign. As you can tell from the photo here. I-uh, well." I looked over at the projected photo again and people chuckled.

"This hike was Amber's idea and I thought ahhh it's gotta only be like a mile right? F***ing four miles. Two to three hours of a hike! So Amber and I are going up right and I'm panting, sweating, and this adorable girl comes up and asks for a photo. She was so cute so nice. She smiles, and so does Amber who just always looks like she's in some L'Oreal commercial. I hold this girl's phone up to take the photo and well, I see this." I pointed back at the screen and people started laughing. "I look like I just went for a swim! Oh and I didn't pour like some water on me or anything! This, this! Is just my all natural look." People were dying and so was James.

"That is too funny!" "Oh and I think the worst part is Amber and I hiked for like another, I wanna say, forty minutes and then we get to some plateau. And we're both like wow we made it yes! And are like high fiving each other and crap. At some point we turn around and look at some other mountain in the distance and there's the Hollywood sign on a different mountain." James was pretty much on the floor! "We hiked up the wrong mountain like how in the world do you mess that up? I don't even know. Then Amber was like let's go to some trendy restaurant and get sushi and I was like no, no! We gonna get fries from McDonald's that's what we're doing! Fries from McDonald's!"

The whole audience was cracking up and so was I! I looked like I had personality other than just being nice. The media was beginning to like me more too. More talk show hosts wanted to have me on. And Gunnar was constantly getting calls from companies wanted me to advertise their product online and even a couple commercials! Amber told me I'd get offers for other roles and stuff once the movie released. And oh boy I really hoped I did. People were liking me and wanting to know more! I was ecstatic! This was great! It really made me more famous. Sometimes when I stopped by the convenience store or was in school I would catch people taking photos of me. Of just me. No Amber around. It was crazy! People were beginning to recognize just me. And sometimes when I'd drop off Robbie people would ask for photos too! Of him and I.

I got to talk about my home life with him, with school, with physics with Gunnar and Nico, my parents. I really began to open up and more people wanted to know more about me. And then the question of a boyfriend came into question. It was complicated. I didn't care who knew I was gay. But if I came out and Amber and I were constantly seen together it would make her look gay and I knew she'd hate that. So I just spoke about Wes. That I had a boyfriend but we broke up. Which is true it's just not me being completely honest. Which I hated but, it's what I had to do. I didn't want to mess this thing up with Amber even as annoying as not being able to be open was, I just didn't want to mess it up. I really cared about her. And I had so much fun with her. So it was just this small inconvenience. I was overall really happy. Amber and I kept going on cute dates, the media was liking me more, and I finally was understanding physics! Ugh! It was great! Then came one particular day.

I just got home and Gunnar and Nico were on the couch. "Hey Lyss, where have ya been?" With Amber. On a date. "Uhhhh, I was just with Amber." "Oh cool." Nico thankfully barely looked up from his phone. "I feel like we barely have met this girl and you're constantly with her!" Gunnar joked. A worried smile grew across my face. "Whaaaat? Nooo. You've guys have met!" "Yeah! Out on the front porch for like a few seconds!" Robbie came running out of our room. "What's going on?" "We just haven't really met Alyssa's friend that's all." Gunnar spoke to Robbie.