We walked down to Delicious Café for the last time. Not a word was said as we got our food. Not until we sat down in that alley way in Roselake. She started crying first and then I did. We both held each other and then she kissed me. And then I kissed her back. We cried even more. We knew there wasn't a solution to this. No way to fix it or way around it. This was it. This was the end. And we were sitting there in that alley way realizing it.

"I love you Alyssa." "I love you too Amber." As much I was mad at her and just absolutely hated her for leaving me and just choosing her career over me. I could see the pain her eyes and the true conflict going on inside of her. I knew she really loved me too. She was just too much of a coward to let others know that. I kissed her again and she held me in her arms. "You're perfect Miss Barron. I'm sorry I let you down." "I can't believe this is it you know? This is the end." "Nor can I. When did you think it was going to? You know end?" Her voice cracked. I stuttered. "I didn't think it was going to end." She sniffled: "I didn't think it was going to either."

We broke up at Roselake that day. In between the purple and beige walls of the fake buildings, grey cobblestone road and doors that led to nowhere of this old set no one ever seem to have found. I bawled my eyes out in the bathroom when I got home. It was the only place I could be alone. Gunnar, Nico and Robbie watched me sniffle around the house teary eyed. "I'm just missing everybody from the movie you know? It was the last day so I'm pretty emotional." "You're going to see them again! It's not like they're leaving the planet. And you have the premiere of the movie coming up anyways." "But then after that. They're all gone."

Gunnar tried comforting me and so did Nico and Robbie even latched onto my foot. I cried even harder. "What's going on Alyssa? I feel like this is something more than the movie." "Oh you bet." I joked in between tears. "Oh you always joke when you're upset! That's how we know you're upset!" Gunnar laughed. "Oh you guys know me so well." But it only made me cry even more.

"Amber and I broke up. She's moving to New York to model and she also refuses to tell anyone we were together. So yeah. We broke up." Gunnar brought me closer to him. "I'm gay. You guys. And before you ask what I want to do for dinner. No, I do not want to eat out!" I joked yet they only hugged me tighter. "I knew right away when this Amber girl showed up." Gunnar stated. "Because I looked at her the way I was supposed to look at Wes?" "Because I could see you guys kissing on the porch. You know the windows lead out to there." He joked and I chuckled.

"I saw the way you guys acted around at each other when we were at the beach." Nico added. "You guys were snuggling when we watched SpongeBob!" Robbie shouted. "And you didn't want to tell me you all knew?" I chuckled. "If you weren't bringing it up you clearly weren't ready." Said Gunnar. "And look I'm sorry about Amber. She's a jerk." "Yeah. She's terrible." "Yeah! A big fat meanie!" Robbie yelled and I couldn't help but chuckle.

I went into English class one day that week and took a seat next to Wes, Vince and Dimitri. Like I always did. It just so happened we were talking about Mercutio and Romeo in Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio was Romeo's best friend. But there are so many gay undertones with their relationship. That Mercutio had a crush on Romeo. He's even teased about his sexuality. So our English teacher thought prompting a discussion on gay undertones in literature would be a good idea. "Why do you think Mercutio joked all the time? And even joked about his sexuality. And why he got so angry when people called him that." Our teacher asked. "Because he was uncomfortable about it. I mean even in today's social people still do that. When someone calls someone gay it's like an insult." Lucas raised his hand and answered. "I mean our society is indeed progressing very good Lucas, but there is still that undertone of hate still prevalent."

Our teacher stopped in the middle of the front of the room. "Do we have anyone that has experienced such hate?" Oh here we fucking go. I shot my hand up and watched as every single person in that room turn their head towards me. I just didn't fucking care anymore. Amber and I were done. My career wasn't the same as Amber's anyway. I could just try and base my reputation and image off of being myself. But if this goes south, I'm screwed. I could lose everything. But I was just so damn tired of hiding.

"Yes Miss Barron." "I don't know if I've really experienced hate but, I've definitely had to hide who I was to fit the public eye. I mean my whole career is just based off of me being judged so I have to cautious. I've been hiding that I'm a lesbian for so long now. And I just hate that. There still is so much stigma about it even in 2019 it can make person feel as if they're living in 1950."

So there ya have it. I came out. In class. Casually. Not in an interview or talk show where I just said it. I just did it with no problem. I watched as rumors spread into questions and I answered truthfully. It was nice to finally be honest. I had waited so long for that. Wes was waiting for me outside of English. "So you're gay now I hear?" He joked. "Where'd you get that from?" I smirked. "Ehh just heard. It's not like I watched you sexy dance with a chick in front of me." I stared at him with my eyes widened. "What? I figured enough time has passed we can joke about it now." I playfully shoved into him. "Ok good."

I was jumping with joy with Dimitri when my C minus in Physics went up to a C. We were almost dancing in the library when I showed him or well, that was at least until the librarian told us to "Shhh!" "Oh go shhhh yourself honey! I'm gonna graduate!" We were partying. And when we ran into Vince with tampon girl, I mean Mary, we rubbed it in their faces too. "I have a C!" "A C? Not a C minus?" Vince already knew what we were talking about. "Wait you're happy about a C?" Mary questioned. "Very happy. Because Cs get degrees and Imma be a high school graduate!"

As I walked Robbie home I noticed something amazing. Eugene and Franklin weren't finally working on their house. They literally weren't. I had no idea where they were. Their car wasn't in. They had gone someplace. And they were actually going someplace. There was a For Sale sign in their yard. I guess they finally decided to sell. I knew they were worried about their future new neighbors but, I was glad they weren't deciding to live in fear of what could be.

The premiere snuck up on me actually. Before I knew it I was putting on my dress for the event. And no it was not Amber's red one. It was white and long and silky. I looked fucking immaculate. Beautiful actually. I had never worn so much make up before in my life. I think the last time I got this dressed up for something it was for my mom's funeral. Gosh I knew she's so proud. "You really to go?" Gunnar questioned. "More than anything."

We pulled up and he dropped me off right at the red carpet. I was so fucking nervous I was going to trip like I can't even. I stepped out of the car and so much white light came from all the paparazzi's cameras. Holy shit it was blinding. Right. Left. Right. Left. I was on the red carpet smiling. This was my fucking night. I had done it. This was my movie. That I worked so hard on and I was so damn happy. I grinned proudly that this was it. I posed next to Zach and we tilted our heads to get more angles. And then I watched as Amber Roselake arrived. The cameras shifted to her. She looked so gorgeous. But I knew she preferred to be called sexy. Because why? Because that's what sells. She was in a stunning blue dress, her blonde hair all curled and make up so popping. And yet her gaze never left me. She could tell I looked great too.

As we sat into the theater see didn't sit nearby me. Why? Because she was trying to get the public off of her about our Ferris Wheel pic. She just didn't want that kind of attention. But I sat confidently with Zach and it was such a beautiful sight to see what we all had created. The movie was absolutely perfect. I watched as the people laughed at the jokes and awed at some of the lines. And no one was on their phones. People were really into it. And I was so proud that they were. The film was funny, romantic and cute. Literally everything I had hoped it would be. It got a 92 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, a review site. Which was just amazing. Gunnar was flooding with calls after that night. They were all saying that I, Alyssa Barron, needed to be in their Warner Brothers production of yet another movie.

Zach and I exited out the theater together and so just crowds built up and up. And then people began to leave left and right. Limos pulled up, drivers, Ubers, Lyfts. Then even some of the paparazzi. I walked a little further down the street to get away from it all and to wait for Gunnar in a less crowded place. I was alone but, that wasn't until I heard my name called. "Alyssa." Oh I knew that voice anywhere. "What is it Amber?" I turned around to once again be entranced by her beauty. She stumbled over her words for a second. "You, you did really well." She smiled solemnly. "Thanks. So did you." I smiled back at her. Yet she still uttered the words: "I came to say goodbye. I leave tonight." I let out a sigh and so did she.

We hugged each other almost simultaneously just grabbing onto each other because this might be the last time we ever saw each other again. "Look I don't know if I'll ever see you in person ever again but, I'll definitely see you magazines." She didn't even respond she was just shaking with tears. "Don't say that Alyssa. Please don't. I love you. I'm going to miss you so much." "Oh I'm going to miss you too beautiful or shall I say sexy?" "You're going to do great things Miss Alyssa Barron. I know it." She pulled away but she was just smiling at me so peacefully, so calmly like she always did. That Amber smile.

She was staring into my eyes and I could see her blue eyes traveling from mine to my lips. Three times. But on the fourth time she just so happened to look at the one person on the other side of the street so many feet away. The person on their phone walking by who probably couldn't even see us. But it was a person who could who just possibly could force Amber Roselake out of the closet. And that was too risky for her. She was too scared. Too scared to kiss me. I felt her dangle out of my arms and her figure vanish behind the corner as I stepped into Gunnar's car as he arrived.

Oh I truly wished Amber and I could have worked out. But she was focused on something else other than me. And that broke my heart. The only real place Amber and I could have actually been together was in Roselake. A fake town, with fake walls, fake doors leading to absolutely nowhere. A place that no knew about. It was private where we could avoid the eyes. But Roselake wasn't real and we lived in Hollywood. With flashing cameras and press interviews and red carpets. People are always going to knowing what I'm doing. But at the same exact time I just don't give a shit what they know. I was just going to do me. And Amber can go and live in her walk-in closet forever because I'm done trying to drag her out.

It was Sunday. Nine o'clock. And I was with Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and it was no guess where we were. Frankie's, the little retro 1950s diner with the cylinder red ketchups and yellow mustards. Thick metal tables and waitresses in red thin stripes and white aprons. Gunnar, Nico and Robbie thought to all take me out after the premiere later that night. I had changed out of my dress into something more causal. We always went here when we celebrated anything. It was tradition. Pure tradition. And of course it was pure tradition for them to hit on our waitress here. The same old. The same thing. The same old antics they played.

"Hello Miss oh what was it again? Thompson. Miss Thompson." She playfully rolled her green eyes at Gunnar. "Like you forgot." She was so charismatic it was funny. "What can I get you guys?" "A hamburger with fries." Gunnar stated. "Onion rings." I said. "Me too!" Robbie called. Oh man I always chuckled when he did that. "Ummm, a cheeseburger with your number on the side?" "That isn't even that new of a pickup line oh my gosh." She laughed as her white teeth gleamed and her super blonde hair flowed. "It's hard ok." Nico laughed. "I'm coming back and when I do you guys need to be better than that." She joked as she pointed and walked off in her cute little skirt and trendy glasses.

"Oh dude I think she's into you." Gunnar was saying to Nico. "But last time I thought she was into you." "Dude, I have no idea." "Oh will one of you two quit whining and ask her out already?" "Girl, I don't know." Nico sat back and pressed himself to the booth. He was just so stressed out. But my eyes weren't on him. They were still locked onto our waitress who had just given the chef our order and had walked out of the kitchen. She was so pretty I couldn't help it. I was just giving her a polite smile as she came over to the table next to us to wash it down. Gunnar could see me looking. He gave me a smirk. One that can only be described as devious. "Hey, since you're into girls-" "Oh no." "Do you think she's hot too?"

Miss Thompson was standing really close. She heard what Gunnar just said and I knew she could hear us now. And she was looking at me for my answer. My eyes didn't leave hers and my smile didn't stop. "I think she's beautiful." Our waitress went back into the kitchen probably to get our food. And was gone a while. I was worried I freaked her out. She came out with the hamburger, two sets of onion rings, and a cheeseburger. She handed us our napkins and politely smiled as she walked away to wash down another table. Gunnar, Nico, Robbie and I all opened up our napkins to put over our laps. But to my surprise, mine was dirty or so I thought. I brought it up to the light and placed it on the thick metal table.

My mouth hung a little open. She gave me her number. Me, Alyssa Barron, her number. Me, Alyssa Barron, a girl. I could see her now washing down another table just plain smiling at me. Gunnar, Nico, Robbie all reached for the napkin just in as much shock as I was. "What!" Gunnar called out. "How the?" Nico was so confused. Gunnar turned around to face her. "You're gay?" He asked her. And she just chuckled as she approached our table. "Oh hell yeah I am." Wow she cusses and she's not afraid to admit she's gay! Wow! My heart was beating so fast and my mouth was still open. She turned around that gorgeous red bracelet she always wore. She turned it completely around and there was a rainbow on it. "It's my pride bracelet."

Gunnar and Nico were just grabbing onto the table in just plain shock. I was just so amazed. "You're gay?" I asked happily. "Mmhmm. And you asked for my number on the side so." "Um, I asked for your number on the side." Nico corrected her. "Ehhh, but she's cuter." I blushed at her comment and was left just staring at her. "Um, Alyssa say something." Gunnar was trying to help me. "Um so like what else do you do besides waitressing?" "Oh what a great question." Nico was sarcastic. "Oh let me live." "Well, I'm a student at UC Irvine." My eyes widened. "You're in college?" I was shook. "Yeah, like I don't just live at this restaurant sweetheart. That's why I work here on such weird hours. It's so I can have my Saturday and Friday nights free and can get to class during the week. I work here to help pay for college. I'm an engineering major so I should be able to pay it off fully once I get a job." "Holy shit you're gay and you're smart! Wow." She chuckled. "I'm actually terrible at physics but like wow you're really smart. Uh. Um." Wow I was panicking so much I was just plain blushing. I swear I was turning into a tomato but she was just laughing at my awkwardness.

"Oh, I'm Alyssa by the way." Oh wow that was so lame. But she didn't care. She just smiled. So infatuated with me. "Alyssa, huh? Such a pretty name for a pretty girl." Oh my giddity giddity God. The next sentence I heard come out of her mouth, I swear I could see Erica G. Fate wink from one of the other booths. "Well Alyssa, it's nice to meet you. I'm Violet."

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