The day of her funeral I don't remember much. I remember standing at the casket and watching them put it in the ground. I remember the Priest saying something about how she's with God now. I remember the pain in my heart when I saw my dad cry.

I remember when I was a kid and my grandma died my mom held my hand as we stood at her casket. She told me that my grandma went up to see her mom and Dad. She told me that it was a good trip that everyone eventually goes on.

I guess I never thought my mom would take the trip so quickly.

Looking down at the casket as everyone left I couldn't feel anything. I was so much at that time but I couldn't let it out.

I felt an arm go around me and I looked up to see my grandpa looking down at it as well.

We didn't say anything. We just stood there. He pulled me close and kissed my head.

"Let's go home." He said pulling me with him.

When we got home I went to my room and got out of the dress that I was in. I went and threw up for the second time this morning. I was still not doing good. I thought it was just a bug but now I have a hard time believing that.

I was walking past my mom and dads room to go down stairs when I stopped because of the sound of crying.

I looked to the door and pushed it open a little. Looking in I saw my father holding my moms pillow to his body crying.

I walked to him slowly and sat next to him as the tears fell from my face. I pulled him to Me and held him.

The door opened more and in walked Carlos. He looked like he had been crying. He walked up to dads other side and pulled him close. Marco walked in with Thomas and they sat next to us.

"It's going to be ok." My Dad said looking at us all. "She would have wanted us all to be happy." He said wiping a tear away. "I think that can wait till tomorrow." We laughed.

"Do you remember when me and Thomas got into a fight and Mom made us sit in the living room for an hour in silence. In the end we started talking and forgot about what we were fighting about." Marco said and we smiled.

"Mom used to take me out of school when called. We would go out and have a mother and son day." Carlos said with a big smile.

"Me and her would go on walks and we would take pictures of everything around." I said remembering the first camera she got me.

"I remember the first time I took her on a date. I messed it all up but she still talked to me after it. I was an idiot and she loved it." My said said making me smile.

I don't know how long we stayed there remembering things from the past but eventually we all went down and had dinner together.

After dinner I went and sat in the Library in her seat. I grabbed a book and started looking through it.

I didn't want to stay here. There's to much hurt and pain. I don't want to go into business like my father but I know he will never let me off of that.

My mom told me to follow my heart. Right now my heart was telling me to get out. Ever since I came back here it's been nothing but pain. I need to find myself and being here I can't do that.