"Mama, too tight," Poppy's words are muffled into my shoulder.

"Sorry, poppet," I tell her. I have to concentrate to loosen my grasp on her. She blinks curiously at me, fingers in her mouth. She has no idea why I'm holding her so tightly. Or why I'm searching frantically through the bags and clothes that lay scattered in the room.

I've lost my jar of hearts. One of my shades woke me up this morning with a scream of hellfire. It jolted me awake as suddenly as if someone dumped icy water on my head.

I ran to him. To my Basru Captain. To Thane. Only to find that he's missing. I know where he is. He went there, to the First House palace. He walked into the demon's den and I wasn't awake to stop him. I stupidly, foolishly, thought that he was too drunk to really be planning anything last night. Apparently I misjudged the idiot, because he is gone, along with his weapons.

While searching frantically for Thane I realized that Mishu and Momo are missing. Alnue just shrugged when I asked him where they are and my father is stubbornly silent. Then, I started to look for the jar. It's gone.

Thane is gone. Thelios is gone. My Fourth House hearts are missing. Two of my gargoyles are missing. Is it any wonder that I am clenching my daughter to me as if she may disappear, too?

The War District is waking up. I have only a little time to decide if I should look for the hearts back in the temple before I can't sneak through the hedgerow again. Did I leave them there? I could have sworn they were here in the Recondite barracks, but maybe I had them with me when I went to the temple yesterday?

"Mara, breakfast," Postite Banio intterupts my frantic search.

I nod at him absently. I look at Alnue, who is hovering over his stack of rescued scrolls from the temple library. "Is anything missing, Alnue?" I ask softly.

He shakes his head, his ears and tail drooping.

I angrily wipe my tears away. "How did I lose so much?"

Alnue wuffles at me, his round black eyes looking at me with sympathy.

"Mara, come eat," Patriarch Salbin calls out from the hallway.

Eat? Eat what? Neither of my Fated are here to dine on.

I march down to the common room anyway, knowing that Poppy needs to eat, even if my stomach is roiling too much to handle anything more that tea.

I settle in and arrange her in my lap, thanking Postite Banio when he hands us a plate of bread and milk.

"Here, poppet," I help her start on the bread. It's hard; a wartime meal. Nothing can go to waste.

The table is silent for a long moment. I feel eyes on me, but I'm too weary to even look up until I know Poppy is distracted by her meal.

When I finally raise my head I see my table.

I let my gaze travel. My Postites are no longer huddled together at one end of the table to themselves. They are interwoven with the Basru warriors who aren't patrolling and even a few Recondites. Esa is next to Patriarch Salbin and another Recondite.

Ribbons dance through the air. Gold and silver, white and black, red and blue, they twist and curl in and out of every soul.

I blink and they disappear.

But not before I see the twin ribbons that unfurl from my own chest. They are red flames, burning bright.

I let my eyes close. I saw them before. I thought they were a mirage, the two golden threads. They were weak then. Thin, brittle. Thane's thread, my gods, it was probably ready to break at the merest touch, but it was still there.

They aren't weak bonds anymore.

How must Inanji feel about that?

I feel resolution settle in my soul. I may be sorrow and shadows, but I am love, too, and those males are mine. I just have to find them, first.

Lier stands up. "I'm going to start patrol, my Lady," he addresses me quietly.

I inspect his bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes skeptically. "Are you sure?" I ask.

He nods. He won't meet my eyes. I hope he doesn't blame himself for Thane leaving. "Princess," he says slowly, "if the First House army doesn't arrive by midday, I think we should consider attacking."

I cringe. I know nothing of war. I would be happy hiding behind thick stone walls forever. After all, that is what I did for a year after my re-birth, isn't it? My temple was my cage.

"We can discuss it later," I tell Lier. Secretly, I pray to my father that Thane returns. Why did I tell him to rescue Thelios? Guilt and worry churn in my stomach. I never expected him to do this.

Lier nods and takes a step, before stumbling. I hear him curse under his breath, then bend to untie his laces.

Mushu glances at me guiltily.

---

I dump the child in the stream. He screeches horrifically, as if the cold water is burning the flesh from the bones. Socks cringes from the loud wailing, flattening his ears on his head to block out the squalling. I wish my ears could do the same, but even shifted into my demon I don't have that ability.

I can't just bring him back to my Lady covered in blood. I want to at least wash him a little. He wails and hollers and thrashes as I scrub his skin with my hands. His tears are tinged pink from blood.

Every second with my demon child I see the horrifying resemblance. He drinks blood, but in copious amounts and from any source, living or dead. My princess drinks only from my twin and I. He has no heartbeat and despite the screaming, he doesn't seem to breath, just like a dead creature. My Lady is alive. His tears are pink, but it isn't sacred water he's crying. His skin is paler than it should be and as smooth as glass, but it lacks the warmth and vibrancy of my Lady. In the sunlight I can see that his eyes are tinged red just along the very edge of the iris. My lady's eyes are unfathomably dark, the eyes of a goddess.

Love took the gifts Nateos gave to his princess and warped them into this fiendish creature. I look at him and try to understand her motivation. Is she mocking the Lord of the Underworld? Is she simply trying to hurt Mara by changing the 'living' reminder of my infidelity into a sad reflection of my princess? Is she trying to create a monster, a series of monsters, that will make shifters believe that my sweet princess is evil, too?

Her motives might be unclear, but what is clear is that this little male is part of her plan. I can only hope that Socks is right, and instead of slaughtering this creature I should bring it to Mara.

When he's finally clean I pick him up and resume my journey south. He is subdued, either from the bath or from exhaustion because of his struggle with me. He simply sits in my arms, limp and staring at the mountains and city walls in wonder.

I am nearly at the city walls when I see him. He sees me at the same time.

"Thelios," I growl out his name.

"Brother," he returns. His eyes flit over the child and narrow in disgust. "Are you leaving?" he asks in disbelief.

I snarl. "I am going back to my Princess."

Socks takes the child from my arms and makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like happy anticipation.

"I am going back to my wife," Thelios snarls.

"You remember? Finally?" I ask, as we start to circle each other, sizing each other up. "Too bad for her that your memory returned after you destroyed her home and fucked her enemy."

He growls, his grey eyes growing wild. "Liar," he spits, "I never fucked another female." Then he pales.

"I'm the liar?" I ask, smirking.

"That was all before Mara," he says.

I feel his hesitation. Is he lying? I narrow my eyes on him. "What aren't you telling me, little brother?"

He snaps his teeth at me. "Don't accuse me of lying, Thane," he sneers, "I'm not you."

I growl, feeling my demon well up inside me. My shifting muscles and scales rip through the too-tight pants. I couldn't change while wrestling the demon-child out of the palace. Honestly, it would be a relief to have these clothes shredded into rags.

"I am her Captain, little brother."

He pales a little. I feel my smirk grow. That one hurt. "I am the Recondite Captain," he says.

"And I am the Basru Captain," I snap back.

He staggers as if I stabbed him. He knows what that means. He grew up in the Underworld.

I see the intent in his eyes. We are deadly rivals. He takes the first step towards me. I clash with him, head on, claws grappling, teeth snapping, tails whipping. At first, all I can think is that if I subdue him I can bring him back to my Lady and fulfill my promise.

It soon becomes clear that I'm fighting just for survival. Thelios is trying to kill me.

Our fight is fevered, hatred spewing from us both. We are fighting for a place in paradise and neither of us is willing to concede. I sink my claws into his shoulder, snarling as he goes low and hits my gut with rapid punches. I grasp his hair, ripping at his ears and feeling satisfied when he howls in pain and rage. Eyes blazing, he goes for my throat. I go for his.

We are at a stalemate. Both of us grasping the other's throat, tightening, choking, spinning and scrambling for the upper hand. I am weakening from several wounds, as is he, when Socks and Rocks leap onto us.

Chattering, shrieking little gargoyles break us apart in astonishment.

Socks points into the distance. I look up and inhale through my sore throat sharply. I can see the city stretched out below from the outcropping I'm standing on. Bodies are pouring up the banks of the Euphrates. Even from here I can tell that there is something wrong with these shifters. They move stiffly, disjointed. Some of them are missing limbs but are moving anyway, seemingly unbothered by wounds that should be killing them.

"Fucking shit. Her army is here," I hear Thelios croak. "Where is Mara?" he asks.

I shudder and extend my wings. I hear him cursing behind me as I grab my demon-child and take off into the skies.

---

I slide through the hedgerow just before the next patrol rounds the corner. Poppy is clutched tightly in my arms and the gargoyles are following me silently.

I have to do this. I feel unsettled. Grief is hovering like a thundercloud over the city. It's a monster, waiting to pounce and devour everyone. My father's power is weak and my own... abilities... make no sense to me.

I keep seeing flashes of bonds that shouldn't exist. The prostitute that Lier laid with last night has a tenuous connection with him this morning. The Recondites have connections with each other. My Basru are linked as well. None of these are Fated bonds. They are all consuming on some shifters and nearly non-existent on others.

It's driving me crazy. I can't help but focus on the dancing ribbons whenever they appear and they are flashing at me too often. I've been walking around in a daze all morning. I walked into walls, twice. I've tripped over my own two feet more times than I care to remember.

I need a distraction. Nervous energy thrums through me. My Fated males are nowhere to be found. Belen is dead. The city seems to be hovering on the brink of collapse.

Everyone else watches the battles, but my eyes can't focus on anything but the invisible fate that binds us together.

So, off to look for the jar. The only place it could be is back at the temple of Death. I was... distracted... the other day. Maybe I left it by the pool?

I ignore the devastation today, hiding Poppy's face in my shoulder so that she doesn't see our home destroyed. I get to the sacred pool fast this morning and set Poppy down next to Harku. Looking around, I peer into every corner, around fallen debris, even in the water, but see nothing.

"Where could it be, Harku?" I ask in despair.

An icy feeling of foreboding fills me just a moment before I hear her voice.

"Looking for something?"

I turn, slowly. Why am I not more stunned by this? "Sera," I say her name flatly.

Her mouth twists in a smile that pulls on the scars over her cheek. It looks like a grimace, distorted and unhappy. There are streaks on her face where she dragged her fingernails over her cheeks. Her hair is straggled, unkempt. Her robes are soiled. I feel a sudden surge of worry for Tafia and the baby.

"Mara," she says my name in the same flat tone.

"What have you done, Sera?" I ask her quietly.

Her eyes flash in rage. "What have I done? You should ask yourself that, first. Look around you, Lady," she sneers, "all of this is because of you! This city was fine until you showed up, bringing your foul magic with you."

I eye her warily. "I'm sorry about cutting the bond-"

"If you were sorry," she seethes, cutting me off, "then you would have stopped! Esa told me about what you did to her... you didn't learn anything from what you did to Tafia, did you?"

I shake my head, stepping backward. "Taffy was dying, Sera. And I had nothing to do with that."

A soft sob echoes in the chamber. Sera pulls at her hair, tugging the limp strands until pieces fall out, tangled on her fingers. "She was fine. We were fine. You sliced apart my bond with her and she nearly left me!"

I look at her, bewildered. Slowly, I say, "you left her, Sera. You rejected her and were going to marry anoth-"

"Because she isn't a Tasuri, Mara!" Sera snarls. "You wouldn't understand, but just look! Look at this city! None of the Acera are left! They ran away like cowards because they're too weak! Shifters, animals, are disgusting! Is it so wrong that they shouldn't be with us?"

I shake my head, confused. Has she lost her mind? "Tafia was your Fated, Sera. I had nothing to do with that."

"She explained it to me," Sera sniffles, "if only she had control over all the bonds, then I would never have been given a Fated who wasn't a Tasuri."

My heart drops. "Who told you that, Sera?" I don't need to hear her explanation, I already know.

"Love told me she would fix it," Sera says, the crazy gleam in her eyes growing. "She will help me get a new bond with Tafia."

"I thought you didn't want Tafia?" I ask slowly.

Her eyes spark angrily. "I love her! It's too late for us, Mara," she spits out. "You ruined everything! Tafia lost her cat. I'm disfigured! Who else would love me now?"

I shake my head sadly, "Sera, Love lied to you. Your bond with Tafia was her bond. Your souls have other choices, but Love-"

"Liar!" she screams. She takes a step towards me. Claws are poking out of her fingertips.

I step backward, making sure that my gargoyles have crowded Poppy towards the pool, protectively.

"Listen to me, Sera," I say quietly. "There are so many bonds. Everyone has them. All of love creates bonds, but you... the Fated bond... that's not something that is natural. Love creates that bond. She is the one who Fated you to Tafia. Tafia was dying, Sera. I saw it, the grief was suffocating her."

Sera shakes her head, sobbing, hiding her face in her hands.

"I can help." I say softly. "I hear their grief, Sera. Those who are rejected. If I take away the bond set by Love then they can recover and have other choices, other chances."

Sera has stopped weeping. I wait, holding my breath. It's breaking my heart to see her so confused. Her betrayal, because I'm fairly certain that she is the jar-thief, just makes me numb. I've had worse betrayals.

Her hands fall away from her face. The smile that stretches over her is no longer the grimace of agonized suffering. It's evil. "Is that your plan, little female?" she asks me.

I see the spark of otherworldliness in her eyes and know. Fear rushes through me. I look again at Poppy. My daughter is on top of the feet of my father's broken statue, surrounded by the sacred pool water. All three of my gargoyles are gathered around her, eyes glowing with a hatred I've never seen in them before as they stare at Sera. Or... should I say, at Sera's body?

"Inanji," I greet the goddess, proud of how calm I sound.