“Do you think I’d rape and kill?”

“Absolutely. When you can’t endure it anymore and snap, you’ll do the only thing you know to hurt them.”

“I prefer to die.”

Miry stays silent for a while. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind, but she looks sad.

“Are you crying?”

Miry nods.

I feel weird. She wants me to live? I have no idea how to react to that.

“Do you think I should have died instead of killing and raping?”

Miry’s question turns my world around. My answer contradicts my obstinacy to let rapists live. If I tell her it’s better to die than to kill, isn’t that nonsense?

And if that’s nonsense, then what about me?

“I don’t know. I’m glad I met you. But in my case, I want to die or to be executed if I ever kill. If I went through all of that, just to do the same as they, then I’d be the most stupid person in the world.”

“Well, I think you’re stupid.”

Hey!

Even if that comment made me angry, I’m happy that Miry smiled.

“You forgive everyone for the terrible things they did to you, but you don’t forgive yourself for something you haven’t done. What would you call that if not being stupid?”

“Cause they didn’t kill me.”

“Death is something that affects you a lot, isn't it? Then, will you haunt the person who kills you?”

I don’t think I’d hate them. I’d be grateful instead. If they kill me before I kill again, that’d be a blessing for me.

“I wouldn’t.”

We remain silent until the Overseer and Oliver come back. Miry didn’t continue talking; she stayed in deep thought.

The Overseer and Oliver return with their clothes stained by blood. I don’t want to hear what happened, but looking at the Overseer’s face, I guess I have no choice.

“Did you kill them?”

“They said it was my fault that they raped you. What do you think?”

I don’t see how that’s the case.

“It makes no sense.”

“Exactly. They must die. I hope one day you’ll understand.”

Even if I disagree, I have nothing to contradict him. And my talk with Miry makes me doubt.

The Overseer points his sword at me. I’m surprised and confused. Is he angry ‘cause it was my fault that they died?

“Are you sure you aren’t a monster?”

I look at Oliver to find any clue about what’s going on, but he’s on his guard against me too.

“I’m human.”

We stare into each other’s eyes. The Overseer comes closer, making me bleed with the tip of the sword. I don’t give up and keep staring. He uses his sword to make me turn around.

“We’ll continue exploring your past. Move.”

The Overseer guides me to the interrogation room using the sword. Oliver is helping Miry. Once there, Oliver leaves.

“What makes you think I’m a monster?”

“You aren’t the first good-looking woman we capture. They worked with honesty until you came. Even when facing death, they only showed a mocking smile. I don’t see them as the subordinates I had.”

“But you saw how I tried to stop them!”

“There are animals who hunt their prey by becoming the prey themselves. You could make yourself look vulnerable to have people rape you.”

Is he serious? If I knew how to do that, I wouldn’t do it! I want them to live.

“Should I start?”

Miry interrupts us. I’m glad she’s here.

I close my eyes and wait for Miry to continue from where we left. The next thing is the orphanage, and I remember it, so it won’t be that bad.

Now that I’m seeing it again, it was so obvious how terrible things would become. But well, I was six at that time. It’d be ridiculous to hope for me to realize it and escape.

‘Hi.’

I open my eyes wide open, but I’m still seeing the memory. I feel tears and my mouth trembling.

No way! Cara! CARA! How could I forget about you?! What happened to you? Did you escape too? Where are you?!

Cara doesn’t answer. She can’t.

But I remember her now. No matter what, I must escape this place and go find her.

Cara is the best person in the entire world. She helped me in unimaginable ways. AND I FORGOT HER! UNFORGIVABLE!

I’m the worst. How could I forget her?! I mean, I love her. I couldn’t imagine my life without her. So how did it happen?! Now I know why I want to die all the time; I miss her! Yes! She’s my destined partner, my best friend! No wonder I feel awful all the time; I need her.

Maybe the monsters made me forget?! If that’s the case, I won’t forgive them!!!

Once I calm down, I continue watching. I’m smiling and crying while looking at my precious memories with Cara. She’s just the best at everything, and she was so kind to me, like this time when I first got into the deepest part of the orphanage. I was freezing, so we slept together.

Ah! I remember that too! She shared her food with me after one of those monsters beat me and took my food. I’m so happy to remember you again!

Oh! This was also a fantastic memory of her strength. She protected me after they punished everyone for my fault. The kids started beating me, but she fought them and took me to another place.

Hehehe. I’m blushing. I remembered our first kiss. It was so sweet and cute, not like the things I do now.

Here we are talking at night about what we’ll do after leaving this place. She wants to be a princess and help everyone. I said I would follow her for the rest of my life. Dammit. One of those bastards interrupted us. Cara tells me to stay there, and she slides off the bed and goes to mine…

NO! DON’T TOUCH HER! STOP!