It’s been a while. It hasn’t been easy, you know. Can you imagine living with monsters for four months after remembering that you killed the best person in the world, and being forced to take care of a monster baby by having her attached to your body, all while only eating raw meat?

I doubt it’s possible to imagine it. I survived on my instincts, basically moving just to eat, poo and pee, and look for other kinds of food. During those months, I didn’t think much, or at all.

But I’m fine now. Thank you very much for your concern. I realized I deserve to suffer; that’s why I’m taking on the mission to have this girl as my daughter. What I did to Cara is unforgivable, and so far I’ve only been suffering on my own. But to compensate, I need to help others just like she helped me, even at the cost of my life.

Though I have good news, I’m pregnant.

I remembered how they raped me while I avoided reality, and I’m sure who the father is, Bert. Probably the monsters didn’t eat him, so maybe someone buried him; that’s my hope. I no longer fool myself into thinking he didn’t rape me, but I’m grateful to him for impregnating me. Do you know how long I’ve tried to get pregnant? I did it with over thirty people daily and still couldn’t. Bert must have been the most virile man in the world.

I’m not sure about this ‘cause I didn’t look, but the size of his balls was immense. Truly a man with special genes. Though his shyness concerns me. Anyway, I’m sure I’m pregnant with a girl, and she’ll be wonderful.

In other news, I’ve been dreaming a lot. Most are nightmares, most of them about Cara… But some dreams seem like premonitions.

My daughters will be awesome beyond comprehension. They’ll be the most beautiful women to ever live. To the point, I’ll look ugly on their side. They’ll be smarter and stronger than me, and I’m not kidding. Both will have the strength and agility to kill elite soldiers with their bare hands! Can you imagine teenagers, girls, killing the best soldiers like they’re nothing?!

I know I sound crazy, but I’m already so proud of them. Obviously, except for them killing people. But since I’m a cold killer too, I see no point in teaching them not to kill. If I did, then I’d ask them to kill me.

I’m happy to be pregnant and have another daughter, even though she’s a monster. I really am. But I can’t wait for them to grow so I can die.

Forgive myself? No way! That’s impossible. You don’t understand the pain and the intensity of my desire to die back then instead of Cara.

But all of this made me realize something. I’ve been lying to myself. I knew what those people were doing to me. Always knew but ignored it. I’ve encountered the worst men and women in the world, and they did unspeakable things to me; I’ve had the strangest things inside me just to please their perversions. And all that had a purpose, to punish myself for my crimes.

Yes, I’m thinking of letting them do as they please to me. That’s my punishment and always will be. The only thing I won’t stand is if they want to hurt my daughters. If they leave them alone, they can do whatever they want to me.

I need to suffer even more.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah! My first daughter is about to come out of the goo. I know ‘cause the needles have been falling out, and now there’s only one. The monsters also left except for one. And above all, I can feel it.

Mm? Why would my daughters be pretty? What?! I’m not blinded by love. Well, I am, but I’m telling the truth.

The answer is simple, power. I know ‘cause I paid attention to Miry. The evilness and darkness in this world want power, and it has many faces.

My beloved daughters will have all the power a person can have. The world will be under their feet, and they’ll do as they please with no one being able to stop them. Isn’t that wonderful?!

Beauty, wits, strength, abilities, prowess, money, sex appeal, even social standing! They’ll belong to nobility or royalty for their beauty alone! And I saw in their future how rich they’ll be.

And you know what’s the most amazing thing?! They can steal abilities! How amazing is that! Haha! Feeling jealous of my daughters?

Why both? I asked myself that question too. My daughter helped by monsters that can heal me and make me younger and prettier is understandable. But my other daughter that’s “normal”? I couldn’t get it. I mean, I’m extraordinary in my looks, but that’s all. I have no abilities, and the father seemed even less exceptional. Then I realized something.

The monsters have controlled my life. They killed my parents on purpose and guided me to the worst places. But they always vowed to me. They also monitored that crazy woman, and for sure they knew how useless a mother she’ll be.

If the monsters took me out of prison, why didn’t they take me to the woman then? ‘Cause I needed to meet the criminals. The monsters wanted me to get pregnant.

Why, you ask? ‘Cause I’m the Mother of Monsters! And I can ‘cause I’m the worst person in the world!

Both my daughters are monsters that’ll turn the world upside down! And I have no choice but to raise them and help them. That’s my punishment for killing Cara. To see with my own eyes, smell with my nose, hear with my ears, and feel with my own hands, the worst side of humans.

I already did? I’ve never been betrayed. The worst thing I did to Cara was to betray her, so I’ll experience it too when my daughters betray me. Until then, I can’t leave this world.