《Musings of a Hypocrite》Chapter 7 - Occisio and Chill Pt. 3
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Chapter 7 In the past, age was a sign of pride and experience. In the recent, they are seen as a burden. I wonder when they say “70 years young”, if that is mockery or regression.
“You don’t have to look at me that way, Mrs. Reiner. Truth be told, I only need the confirmation from the two involved.”
“I am their mother!”
“And you are not the one invited.”
Taku retained his leisurely posture, his eyes wandering around the room aimlessly. It’s as if nothing really mattered to him, despite the importance of this meeting to the others.
“My children are young and full of life. They don’t need to face dangers beyond the ordinary. They went to combat school to learn how to defend themselves, so that they can one day grow into proper aristocrats.”
“Yes, let’s leave the dangerous jobs to other children of other parents, like myself.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Mister Taku.”
“Then perhaps the lives of us JanZe are incomparable to your children?”
“No, not at all.”
“Or that the dangers we face are unrelated to mighty aristocrats such as yourself?”
“No no, please don’t misunderstand.”
“So it’s my fault for not understanding it?”
Elon placed his hand onto his wife’s shoulder, gently but firm. He couldn’t stand Taku’s teasing any longer.
“Mister Taku, those are the words of a doting mother. The love she has for our children simply can’t be expressed in words. She spoke wrongly, I hope you can overlook that.”
“Why, of course. I only wished my own parents were the same.”
“That being said, as their parents, is it not natural for us to worry about their decisions? After all, they are but thirteen, and an hour is but a passing breeze to decide the entirety of their future.”
“Natural? Sure. But like I said, I really don’t need your approval.”
Taku pointed to the twins sitting with their feet hanging above the ground. Once again, the spotlight shone upon the pair.
“Amelia, Kelvin, listen to your mother. This isn’t right for you…”
“It’s too dangerous, don’t do it…”
“You don’t know these people! Stay with us, your family. You’ll be safe here!”
“What your mother’s trying to say to you, my child, is that you need to think carefully of your answer. I think it’s time to let them speak, and us old folks stay silent.”
Before she could retort and continue, Taku interjected with an “I agree”. Outnumbered, she could only do as told, hoping against hope that the children would refuse the offer. Unfortunately, within her heart, she knew that the children think more like their father than herself.
Though he acted nonchalant, Taku began to make some guesses. The desperate tone in her voice, the unspoken tension between the two adults… it seemed to him that the worth of the twins was less on the affectionate side to that woman, Helen, but more like bargaining chips.
“Mister Taku, can we ask you questions?”
“You have a whole hour to do so, Kelvin.”
“Then… who are you?”
“Me? I’m Taku.”
“I know, but who are you exactly? Are you a high ranking JanZe?”
“Good question. Not at all. I’m not even a full member yet.”
“Huh? Then why are you wearing that, Mister Taku?”
“To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve gotten so far without anyone checking who I actually am. It’s funny that the children seem more inquisitive than their parents, or the guards.
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I am the disciple of The Second, a JanZe apprentice. Because of certain events and reasons, I will be under the tutelage of The First for time being. Meaning, should you choose to join, I will be a fellow student.”
Amelia’s hand shot up meaninglessly, since she asked the only question she cared about, without waiting for her cue.
“Will it be challenging?”
“Without a doubt. I’d say training under The First would be difficulty hell.”
With that, she seemed satisfied and her answer certain. Helen rubbed her forehead in distress, whilst praying that the more sensible of the two would do the right thing.
“Then, Mister Taku, is there a downside to refusing?”
“Nope. If you say no, you can carry on like normal. The First invited you, he didn’t order you.”
“Mister Taku, what benefits are there if we joined?”
“We’re having a private chat, lad. You don’t have to say Mister Taku all the time, it’s awkward. As for benefits… the connections you make, the wealth and power you gain will be massive. Plus, your family will get the support of the JanZe.”
“If you were in our position, would you become his apprentice?”
“I’d run away.”
“So, it’s a bad idea?”
“Not at all. I’m just the lazy and scared type. Knowing what I know now, I would’ve run as far as I could… not that it’d mean much.”
“Will we be fighting monsters or people?”
“Whatever is needed of you, lad.”
“Which is more dangerous?”
Taku readjusted his posture, sitting with his back leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and the cupped hands, like a veteran gamer getting serious.
“My master once told me, that the monsters from the portals are ontologically parasitic – their existence depends on the existence of something else. For example, a shadow isn’t a thing, it’s the lack of light caused by something blocking the source. Similarly, the monsters exist to destroy, and their existence depends on there being something to destroy. The lives, the land, the air… if they can’t find anything, they destroy each other, and ultimately, themselves. They aren’t intelligent life forms, but instead something created with a singular purpose.
They are dangerous entities. However, they pale in comparison to how much damage a human can do.”
“Why’s that?”
“Two main reasons. One – you know exactly what a monster would do, but you have no idea what a human would do. A friend today might just turn on you the next, sometimes with and at times without a reason. Two – humans don’t destroy everything. They leave things unfinished, which is worse than total destruction, because someone will continue to suffer, and eventually someone will have to clean up their mess.”
"Then why did you become a yanch apprentice?”
“It’s Jan-Ze. As for the reason, rather personal, don’t you think?”
“Ah, sorry…”
A brief pause later.
"Who is The First? He's Aaron, isn't he?”
“Good guess, but that's just an alias he chose for his little show. As one of the four immortals, he- or actually, they are all Heroes of an age ago, with one of their abilities relating to immortality. The First is the eldest.”
“What is he like?”
“Him? He’s infuriatingly obnoxious. Whatever you say, he’ll have a thousand ways to contradict you until you’re speechless, even if it doesn’t make sense. A true keyboard warrior.”
“I-is it okay for you to say that?”
“Oh, of course. We don’t censor our members in JanZe.”
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“What’s a keyboard warrior?”
“A type of cancer.”
“I don’t get it.”
Taku simply smiled without explaining further.
“Then are you looking forward to learning under him?”
“I’m scared shitless. The immortal four has one main objective for their apprentices.”
“To make us strong?”
“Maybe, but mostly to make use of us."
“Use us? What for? Aren’t they basically gods?”
“Listen kiddo. Like your mother said, the shit that happens in their lives are beyond the scopes of a normal human. It’s not about being able to defeat monsters – they can do that. It’s about how useful you are to achieve their goals, a mutual benefit. They want the portals to disappear. If that’s your goal too, then great, but if you want something else, it’d have to be an equivalent trade.
The reason why The First chose you is that he believes in your two. He believes that the two of you are able to withstand it all, no matter how he questions your faith, no matter how much suffering you take.
It’s also why I’m telling you everything as truthfully as I can, because I know you’ll both say yes anyways.
The First is the most emotional and the more insensitive of the four. To sum it up, he’s an extremist… though all of them are in one way or another. If you can resist the urge to bash him in the head, or bash your own heads into the wall, then you’ll become an absolute monster like he is.”
“Then what will it cost us?”
Taku took a fleeting look at the twins, where upon they stiffen up from the mesmerising effect once again.
“Everything.”
They came.
Honestly, I didn’t know if they would or not. Even that damn brat thinks too highly of me. How the fuck am I supposed to predict what two kids will do?
Now they’re actually coming. What kind of person must you be to decide a life decision within an hour, and leave your family and everything behind?
Fuck. Act wise.
“I have been expecting you.”
I turned around with my hands in my pocket. My body leaned slightly to the left as I give a casual glance at my new disciples…
Fuck, they were too far away! Now they’re staring at me wondering what I’m doing.
“You were outside our house the whole time?”
"Uh… yeah. I was.”
“Why didn’t you come in?”
Fuck fuck fuck, how am I supposed to answer Amelia’s question? Living for a million years only made me more socially awkward than I was. Let’s just forcefully carry on with plan C.
“Didn’t need to. Now, come with me.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the story, Kelvin. To the story.”
Our group of four walked slowly towards the cemetery. Our outer appearance had the same age, so we looked like four kids cosplaying as ninjas on the street at Halloween. The only difference is that the ribbon on my head was significantly longer than the others, and square-ended instead of narrowed to a point like the other three.
People openly gawked at us as we walked past. Everyone knew of the consequences of impersonating a JanZe, so no one could figure out why we were risking our lives to do so. That is, unless we were the real deal. In both cases, it was best to simply not be involved.
“Why did the two of you say yes?”
The newbies glanced at one another before answering in unison.
“To get stronger.”
“Strong? Kelvin – what is strength?”
"To be powerful enough to protect everything around me.”
“Amelia?”
“Umm… strong enough that you can get whatever you want, including protecting what you have.”
“Those aren’t really answering the question. You’re basically saying that strength is to be strong. Taku?”
“Hedonism.”
“’Course it is.”
“What’s hedonism?”
“Kind of like what you said, Amelia, where happiness and self-gratification is all that mattered in the world.”
“Except Taku’s hedonism is a better answer as it caters to a more specific situation. After all, even if you die, as long as you die happy, then you’ll always be strong.”
“It’s not about being physically strong?”
“Physically strong in what sense? For what purpose? If someone is physically strong, but as smart as a concussed goldfish, would that person be truly ‘strong’?”
“Well, no, you’d have to be smart too.”
“Then that’s two criteria you didn’t mention before. Physical strength and mental intelligence? I see. Then, is the King of humanity strong?”
“Well, he is the king.”
“It’s a yes or no question, Kelvin.”
"Yes.”
“Is he physically strong? Or is he intelligent?”
“I don’t really know; I’ve never met the King before.”
“He’s a dim-witted traditionalist that doesn’t know how to think more than two minutes into the future.”
“Two minute’s a stretch, Taku. But anyways, with a single order, Harold could have your entire family wiped within a fortnight. He can get whatever he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants. Is he strong?”
“That’s not quite true though.”
“Not you, Taku. I’m asking the newbies.”
“Well, yes. The army and guards are all a part of his strength.”
“Then making you strong is easy. If I follow your orders and do everything for you, you’ll be one of the strongest people on Khondour, right?”
“But that’s not my own strength!”
“Then what makes the army a part of the King’s strength, if I can’t become a part of yours?”
“It just is.”
“Lazy answer.”
“… It was a strength I didn’t earn myself.”
“The King was born into the monarchy; I can’t say he earned it either. You were born with the powers you have, the environment you grow, the freedoms and luxuries that you enjoy. Which part of that did you earn yourself?”
A momentary pause ensued once more, indicating Kelvin's inability to reply.
“It seems to me that your focus of strength lies in the ability to defeat an opponent. That is to say, to defeat the enemy and gain your happiness, or protect your possessions. Am I right, Kelvin?”
"I think so?”
“Amelia?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“My mother, during her lifetime, was a simple herb gatherer. Even now, if she were to be alive, I would never be able to hurt her. Does that make her stronger than me?”
“That’s not… that isn’t the same.”
“What’s not the same, Amelia?”
“You’re twisting the concept of being strong!”
“But it seems like you’re incapable of pinpointing exactly where that logic is flawed. This means you simply don’t know what you truly wanted, and generalised it to being ‘strong’ due to laziness. How am I supposed to make you stronger without knowing what you mean by stronger?”
“You do realise humans never truly know what they want, right?”
“Most humans, Taku. Most. If Steve Jobs were to live past the age of 10’000, perhaps he wouldn’t have sprouted that cheesy line.”
“So you’re saying that you know what you want? If that’s the case, why haven’t you gotten it yet?”
I stopped, did a 360o and gave an exaggerated shrug and frown.
“Not strong enough!”
Amelia’s right hand shot up into the air as if we were out in a school field trip. She had so much energy, she was even bouncing on her toes. I gave her a nod whilst walking backwards.
“How is it possible that you’re not strong enough, Aaron?”
“Why is that impossible? Did you think I was omnipotent?”
In contrast to his sister, Kelvin hand timidly rose like a cautious snake in an eagle’s nest. I gave him a nod too.
“What does strength mean to you, Aaron… sir?”
Shit shit shit, not the reverse card[1]. How do I handle situations like these? This is worse than explaining where babies come from. I can’t tell them, but I also can’t ignore that question without losing all professionalism…
I need a wise, mysterious answer that dodged the subject with flowery language, just like a proper British politician.
“Our standards are not the same. Nor are our goals, our experiences and our starting points. The meaning of strength to me doesn’t necessarily suit you, and vice versa. Given enough time, even Taku might transition from hedonism to something more practical…”
“Hey!”
“… one day. Rather than explaining my own perspective of strength, I’m going to help you develop your own explanations. This brings me back to our destination – a story. I want you to listen, then tell me once more – why do the tw- no, three of you decide to become an apprentice, and what is strength?”
I stopped in place, which prompted the rest to do the same. With one hand, I gestured towards the tomb to my left, with its rotten wooden cross and sloppy engravings.
I hope they will find the difference within this story – the strength of a human, and the strength of being human.
As I tell the story, the dying words of my previous disciple rang insistently in my head.
As if you know the first thing about being human.
[1] https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Uno%20Reverse%20Card
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