Like the night before Finne once again asked Aleci if he could go to bed. Perhaps it was a custom, thought Aleci and nodded, bidding him a good night. He wasn’t sleeping anytime soon. On nights like this Aleci liked to take out Ilos’s map and look at it. It had an impossible puzzle depicted there, Aleci knew by now, and it was Ilos’s way of saying that they could never be together. But that didn’t stop Aleci from trying to solve it all the same. If he closed his eyes he could see Ilos’s hands drawing the map, coloring in the lines, painting the flowers that adorned its borders. Before he’d raged and cursed at the map, but now… it was comforting, soothing to run his fingers over the lines and think the puzzle over.

The quiet of the tent was punctured by soft whimpers. Aleci glanced over to the screen and when there was no movement from Finne, decided perhaps he’d better let the man sleep. He made his way over behind the screen and peered down at the fussing baby.

“You can’t sleep either?” said Aleci, gently running his finger up and down the baby’s cheek.

All babies looked the same to him. His mother had admonished him for that statement, saying that if he didn’t have anything good to say then he should just say it was a lovely child. Younger Aleci had scoffed, saying that lovely implies beauty and there was nothing beautiful about babies. She’d pinched his ear for that, saying sometimes a soft lie is better than any brash truth from his mouth. Then he’d gotten older and the thought of having a family had appealed more to him, the only problem was that the men he was interested in either had no interest in raising a family and were physically incapable of doing so. They would have dalliances with Aleci then gone on to marry or die. Sometimes both. Sometimes... no, he didn't want to think of Ilos. Then someone, one of his men, Mercus or Domerc or maybe both of them had suggested he marry a carrier. They said it to him like they thought he hadn't considered the idea, like it was the first time he'd heard of the existence of such people. Aleci wasn't blind, he'd seen carriers when they rode in perfumed palanquins around the Capital. At his Praefect ceremony he’d seen them fanning the young Caesar and feeding him sweetmeats.

'A prized trophy, they are, and not for the likes of us,' Galer had said, when he saw Aleci’s interest. 'You wouldn’t like them, they’re more women than men.'

His father was wrong. What little he saw of Finne showed that he didn’t have the curves of one. Whether or not he behaved like one... that was a different matter. Aleci knew there were some that swear carriers walked differently, a sway to their steps with their hips that men didn’t do, and they sound different too, the gossipers claimed. On what basis, thought Aleci, women don’t sway their hips either, at least not the way it was described. He’d also heard women with deeper voices as well. He shuddered, Lady Maxill was not a woman you should cross.

Perhaps, thought Aleci, gently picking up Ethain when he opened his mouth to start wailing, it was like the chicken or egg question. Which came first, the expectation or the behavior?

“Do you know?” said Aleci, grinning at the startled Ethain, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

Ethain’s response was to smack Aleci in the face with a chubby fist.

“I suppose I deserve that,” said Aleci. “Thrusting you into the world of philosophers. But you’re going to be one yourself for a short time, don’t you know?” he nodded solemnly at the baby, “Every child asks questions that takes a grown philosopher ten days and several pipes to think over.” he grinned at Ethain, gently flicking his nose and was rewarded with a startled laugh.

“Oh so you can laugh,” said Aleci. “And here I thought all you did was cry.”

Ethain wrinkled his nose, opening his mouth as if to challenge Aleci’s remark.

“Ah! Don’t wake your siblings,” said Aleci, rocking Ethain like he’d seen Finne do. “Shh! You want your mamaí to be awake to handle your fits of temper tomorrow don’t you?” Ethain looked unconvinced, and Aleci smiled, “Do you want to be bribed? By a horrible singer? I’m told I can scare away all ghosts and beasties.”

The song came easily enough to him, prompted by the map and the faded memory of Ilos.

By the pretty banks and over the Kade bridge

Where the sun shines bright on Leucia

Where you and I must bid farewells

and never shall we meet again

on the pretty pretty banks of Leucia

will you take the left path

as I take the right

and I’ll be home by nightfall

for you and I must bid farewells

and never shall we meet again

on the pretty pretty banks of Leucia.

He had been too numb to cry then, perhaps it was for the better. At least Ilos didn’t remember him red eyed and teary. Kaeso had been the one to see his tears.

“You said you couldn’t sing.”

“Hm?” said Aleci, shaken from his thoughts.

Finne stared owlishly back from where he’d sat up on the bed. He glanced at the sleeping Ethain in Aleci’s arms, bit his lip and said, “You needn’t do that. It’s my-”

“You were asleep,” said Aleci. “I’m told sleeping’s important.”

They were Kaeso’s words from the man who admitted to drugging a sleepless Aleci on multiple occasions.

“Your voice isn’t bad,” said Finne, hesitantly reaching out for Ethain. “Not… bard material. It’s ho-”

“Hopeless?” offered Aleci, handing Ethain back to Finne.

“No,” said Finne, letting out a breath. “Homely. Like what you’d hear as a child.”

“Ah,” said Aleci, “But wouldn’t I frighten all the inhabitants?”

Finne smiled, "I think it depends on how loud you sing."