- It's always like this, even in this "reality" it's all the same...

After the anger, and the immediate fear of new pain, subsided I sat down in a corner holding my head between my hands.

- Every time there's something vaguely interesting, every time I found myself almost happy, every time... every time...

I really thought that with time I wouldn't feel this deep sensation of being powerless anymore, but maybe I was only lying to myself and being "happy" in my routine, trapped in my normality.

Still now with my enhanced memory I can really look over all the times I really had misfortunes. Looking up at the ceiling one of the many self analysis I've made in the past resurface by itself.

Was I really only pessimist, yes every time I was happy somethings happened to spoil my mood. But so they happened when I was already in bad mood. Was I really so blind, so conceited?

- Ah ah ah ah ah ah... So it's true that everything have a downside, having a fantastic memory could really make peoples revaluate themselves...

Well number never lies, so seeing the undeniable facts of what I'm starting to consider my previous life, I can only start to revaluate myself and many of my life choises. Sure I had pretty bad moment in my life and many were clustered pretty close in time, but...

Better change this train of through, the past can't be changed only the present exist... sigh... sometimes I should really have stopped to listen to the word of more experienced people.

I get up and start pacing around the room. Even all of this introspection doesn't change the fact that I am, or at least feel like, here now. It doesn't change what happened before so it's time to think seriously at the present choices I have.

If the exercises from yesterday, both the physical and mental ones, made forcefully my HP and MP go up maybe it's this forcing that created the pain. One of the way to see if it's true is to find a way that is considered natural... if there's Exp value the most sensible guess is that a level up must exist.

But if a +2 and +10 in health and mana caused such pain, the raising of other stats what will involve? Sigh... There's only one way to find it.

More easy to say than to do, when I crafted the blade and had success in my magic experiment I was rewarded with experience... I think... So let's craft something but first...

- Menu!

NameRaceAverageHumanHPMP102110AtkDefDexWis10101010Exp80/100

Nothing changed for now. I choose crafting, even if I've much more idea for new magic than things I can build, because if I'm right it's the meditation that raised my mana but I will research it next time.

All I have at hand are the remain of the bed frame and half sheets... I feel like I need the most famous improvisation/build/repair master.

Last time I build a blade to continue on the same road, and organising all the pieces on the floor, I decided to build a pseudo armour. Four of the metal bands that supported the mattress can be wrapped around, and fixed with the fabric strip, like arm and shin guards. Two pipes, after a little engineering with simple levers, are bent to make the frame where the other metal pieces can be fixed to form of a really simple jacket.

The all ensemble is more rough than I believe was possible... And it leaved me with only to pipes and four square angular connector. But it gave more than the hoped result...

- Menu!

NameRaceAverageHumanHPMP102110AtkDefDexWis10101010Exp110/100

- Now we wait, now we wait...