Lost in the Current

Dreams flitted through Matt’s mind, as he fought his way free; yet for all his efforts, dreams fading still stained his mind. Contained within; anger, grief, pain, and fear. The darkness swirling around in his heart, breeding distrust that his mind could not comprehend.

Within this darkness the familiar tether binding him to Lilith, lay slack. Distant and silent, offering no reprieve from the tides of emotions rushing his heart. Beyond the sounds of dreams left behind, something new and unfamiliar disrupted his sleeping mind.

Awakened, not by the sounds of nature cutting through the thin walls, but rather the sound of a man’s snoring rattling the thin clay walls and door. Matt stared at the roof above, wondering what he’d done to deserve such a curse.

After his successes the night before, he’d had a hammock hung in Dvell’s workshop to sleep in, to the man’s obvious joy. Apparently to keep him and his knowledge away from the rabble that was the manual labourers. Though Matt had suspected that it was instead done to cure the man’s growing loneliness.

The end result, had him sleeping in the same room as a man who made enough noise for twenty or more. The rough snoring having been loud enough to disrupt his sleep countless times throughout the night, and instigated nightmares that were only now fading.

Eye’s drawn again to the sloped ceiling, he focused on the flaws forcing, as he could, the sound to the back of his mind. Where it further aggravated the demons, or insects, or whatever had been clawing around inside his head.

Unending thoughts, whirling around and around, refusing the sleep his body still demanded. Though that was not all that was unending, Matt looked over at Dvell, who’d been sleeping in a similar hammock nearby mouth hanging agape as each breath brought new suffering to Matt.

He was surprised by the rather lowly living standards of these warlocks. Having discovered that they were powerful, he’d thought that such power might offer them better luxury than what he’d seen here. In simple fact, the hammocks he and Dvell rested in were not nearly as soft or pleasant as the bed at the inn, or the furs borrowed from the Knights.

To make matters worse for his still tired mind, he felt hot flushes coming on, followed by rapid chills. His body had been growing more irritated, and itched far worse than was normal. He wasn’t sure whether it was the environment here doing something to him, or if it was because he no longer had the supplements from his own world.

Pulling himself up from the bedding, careful to land on his feet as the hammock rolled under him. He looked over the room in the darkness of night, the shapes of pots and tools darkening the world inside. The sun was yet to rise, and darkness still stirred outside the small windows, only slightly clearer for the light of Seri.

A light coloured purple mist hazed around them, filling the air of the small enclosed room. The essence of it adding to his headache. It only added to his desires to escape this room, almost like a voice in the back of his mind pushing him on.

Wanting to clear his mind of it all, Matt stepped outside, careful of the delicately constructed door. The sound of the doors, clicking and clacking, barely disrupting Dvell’s heavy snoring.

Quickly finding his way, clear of that thinning mist, Matt discovered a world still embraced by shadow. Tree’s standing as tall shades, the canopy rattling with unseen motion, and the nearby river gurgled with water shining blue in Seri’s light.

None of the nearby shacks were revealing even a hint of light, suggesting that he might be the first awake. A few stray creatures fluttered through the air, glowing red as they flew nearby. It wasn’t immediately apparent what the created the light, but Matt was already surrounded with enough boundless mysteries for him to let it be for now.

The trees shifted quietly in the wind, rustling with life from both wind and muscle. Matt walked amidst it all for a while, enjoying the feeling of life that filled this alien place. The bubbling of the nearby stream offering a unique background noise, still frightening, yet far more pleasant than what waited for him back inside the workshop.

Walking towards the targets of his fears, he supressed the panic and fear striking his heart. Standing at the water’s edge, he knelt down staring into the lively river.

Matt felt at the water flowing in the river, remembering how Ren used to do just the same. Gently the water tugged at his hand, pulling downstream.

“It’s nice here.” A familiar voice spoke from nearby shadow, “I might take this place when I’m queen.”

Shocked by the sudden intrusion, Matt turned in a full circle, eyes whirling around searching. In short moment, Sashella crawled up and away from the bushes that had obscured her. He hadn’t sensed her presence, even slightly, before she’d surrendered her position.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, kneeling down beside him, “Tongue twisted?”

Letting out a sigh and returning his attentions to the water, he found enough voice to reply. “You surprised me. What are you doing here?” his voice low.

“What am I doing?” She smirked, “What you are doing is far more interesting.”

He twitched, pursing his lips as he looked away from her, “It’s nothing to be interested in.” His hand found its way to the pen, that he’d repurposed only last night.

“Don’t betray her.” Sashella warned him, a smile on her face which was absent from her eyes. “Lilith trusts you.”

“I won’t,” he replied. “But, I can’t just accept that these people are evil.”

“Hmmm,” her eyes glimmered lightly, “Then I won’t tell her just yet.”

“Thanks.” Matt replied, turning away from the water, the sound of water rushing by adding to his headache.

“What do you think of this place?” She asked, before he had the chance to walk away.

“Here?” He rubbed at his chin, “It’s nicer than home.” He gazed over the landscape, taking in all of the life that now surrounded him.

“Home, huh.” She whispered her words fading into the whistling of nearby animals, “So you still think of it as home?”

Matt paused looking down at his hands, “It was a home; once. Sometimes I just forget that it isn’t anymore. That my home was washed away and can’t ever come back.”

“Do you regret having left?”

Thinking back at the many regrets in his life, Matt quickly replied “No. I regret not having left sooner.”

“And this world? The people here, the places, how does it compare?” She splashed lightly at the water.

“It’s… different. There’s so much anger here, so much pain and suffering, but that’s not so bad.” He smiled a little, “The people here smile, they laugh, even if only rarely. This world is beautiful.”

“You can only know pain, if you’ve felt pleasure. A person can only truly hate, when something they love is taken away. One must know love, in order to hate. It sounds like in your world there’s nothing to hold dear in the first place, so there is no anger or resentment, because there is no love, no pleasure.”

Matt nodded along with her, listening to her perspective of his world.

“It sounds like such a terrible thing.” She smiled, “I guess that means that your people need to be freed. Need their shackles to be broken. Rather than stopping them from coming here, we should be taking the fight to them, and save them in the process.”

“It’s not possible to win, not like that.”

“Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but wouldn’t you like to see your own people freed from that life. Offered something more meaningful.”

“Most of them wouldn’t accept it in the first place. As children we… my family, tried to save people like that. It was so difficult and so few would even listen.” He gazed through the reflection in the water.

“So… you’re willing to abandon them?”

“Abandon…?”

Save them.

The words ringing in his mind like a chime, reminding him of who he had to be. Reminding him, what Ren would have done in his place.

“No… I… but how? How could we possibly ever save them… without her…?”

“Hmmm?” She mumbled thoughtfully, “How only matters after you’ve decided what you’re going to do. More importantly, who is this ‘her’? A friend? A lover? Mother?”

“She… she was… she is, my hero. She saved me, and… and right now she wouldn’t hesitate to save them. Even if it’s impossible, it’s what she would have done.” He smiled gently, seeing his blurred reflection falling short of expectation.

“It sounds like you’ve finally come back.” Sashella slapped him gently on the shoulder, “You’ve decided on what you’re going to do?”

“Yes,” His voice firm as he spoke, “I’ll fight, I’ll destroy the system somehow and free everyone enslaved. I’ll do what we couldn’t back then.”

“Now that you’ve decided on what you’re doing, what about how?”

“How?” How would she do it? How was it that she failed back then? How can he improve upon her work?

“Friends.” He whispered, “The only times we ever succeeded, even a little was because we weren’t alone. Because we had each other. If there’d been more of us back then, maybe we would have stood a chance.”

“If friends are what you’re looking for, then you already have Lilith, as much as she might say otherwise, she trusts you. Of course, me and my darling will side with you, though as cute as he is, I wouldn’t let him fight in a war. It’s a woman’s responsibility to look after her weak man.”

Matt smiled, looking at his own reflection, he seemed almost like a different man now, but if that’s what was needed, he would become it.

“We need more. More friends, more skills, more magic and curses.” He listed off, “It wasn’t just our numbers that made us strong back then, Ren used to lead us, but everyone made a difference. Everyone had skills that saved us one time or another.”

“We need the mages, the Sasahara Knights, and even demons, if they’ll fight with us. We need people who, I don’t even know yet. More than any of that, we need to be friends.”

Sashella giggled uncontrollably, staring at him as he stood gazing at the sky, “You, really are different. Some might say ignorant, but… I don’t know. Suggesting that the Knights, mages and demons might fight together is such a ridiculous idea that most any of them would kill you just for saying those words.”

“So, we just figure out the how.” He replied, looking to her without a hint of doubt. “Will you help me?”

“I’m not sure how any of this will turn out.” Her own smile never faded as she stood up beside him, “but, we’re friends already. It’s far too late to back out now.”

“Then perhaps I should ask you then,” He continued, his doubt fading, “The warlocks here, what do you think of them?”

“What do I think?” She gazed out across the water, “I think, that they’re monsters. That they enslave demons, and exploit them for power to wield over others.” She shrugged lightly, “I think, that you might be able to judge them far better than I. I’ve seen so many horrible things, all attributed to the power-hungry warlocks that I can’t think straight around them.

“I think we need everyone we can, and that you’re the only person in this world who knows the stakes and isn’t affected by our rumours.”

He let out a long sigh, “How am I supposed to tell if their good or bad? If they’ll work with us?”

“That’s up to you, but I’ll trust your opinion and so will Arcide. He’s a good man, and never judges a person for their titles or labels.” She smiled, “He’s already made a companion out of a demon, so a warlock shouldn’t be hard for him to handle.”

“And Lilith? The Sasahara Knights?” He asked turning to her.

“Lilith is just a matter of time. Right now, she’s pretending to be someone she isn’t. That’s fine, if the people you’re with are forgiving, but the Knights…”

“Aren’t?”

“She knows about my pendant and let me walk away. It’s only a matter of time before she slips up like that in front of another of her order, and they won’t stand for it. They’d kill her on the spot if they knew.”

“Just for that? For protecting a friend?”

“I’m not her friend. That’s how it’s supposed to be, she died when she took on the oaths. Now, she’s just a loyal Knight. Giving me leniency, giving anyone, leniency is a crime that they cannot commit. She’d be better off killing a small village than letting one guilty person walk away.”

Matt swallowed back his words, from what he’d seen of them. What he knew they would never do such a thing. Then again, Myra always seemed incredibly intent on killing mages, the others never once held her back. Never once said that she was wrong.

“But then… what you’re saying is that she’s going to die? She’s going to get executed, sooner or later?”

“I won’t let that happen.” Sashella’s voice deepened, “I’ll save her, even if she refuses. Even if she tries to kill me for it.”

“How?” Matt asked.

“I have friends, who’ll help me and a few secrets I’ve yet to reveal.” She splashed with the water, “I’ve got that part under control at least. What you should be more worried about, is winning the Knights to your side.”

“Your friends?” He asked, hoping for some miraculous group that could save them all.

“I’ll introduce you to them when I can. They aren’t much in a fight, but, what was it you were speaking about earlier? Good friends with rare talents.”

“Should I keep an eye on Lilith?” He asked.

“Leave that to me, just be sure to keep this secret between us. Okay.”

Matt hesitated a moment, looking to sky that was gradually brightening to day. “Our minds are linked.” He replied, “How can I keep it a secret.”

“You made friends out of warlocks, without thinking about that little problem?” She asked, looking to him as asking if he was a moron. When he failed to reply, she continued on, “Well, you’d better figure something out. Else we’re all in trouble.”

She walked into the trees without another word, the silence of morning disrupted by birdsong, too cheerful. Matt didn’t bother looking about to see if she’d left, he’d already gotten used to the idea that she could be anywhere without him knowing. Though that didn’t stop him from jumping a little each time she appeared.

As the sun began to rise behind the horizon line of trees, Matt noticed the growing warmth alongside the brightening light. Animals were still rushing through the canopy above, shuffling leaves that fell into the flow of the river.

Lost in the current, they were carried away by forces beyond themselves.

“Early waker?” A woman’s voice called to him, though not the one he expected. “Or was it you couldn’t handle the snoring anymore?” Oiral asked, walking down along the river. Strangely, she came from the opposite direction of her shack.

“A little of both.” Matt replied, returning his eyes to the scenery around them, looking for the heavily disguised Sashella who was doubtlessly still around, listening. If she heard too much… well, he was already far too late for that. He returned his focus on Oiral.

“Watch out for Dvell, when he wakes up it’ll be sudden and loud.” She let out a little laugh. “I used to work with him myself, but couldn’t handle it after a while. Went our separate ways. On good terms of course.”

“I see.”

“He’s not a bad man. I know what the image of a warlock inspires in people, but none of us here are evil.” She nudged the thick glasses on her nose, “We aren’t what, they all seem to think we are.”

“What… what do they think you are.” Matt asked, knowing only some opinions from the Knights that he’d spent time with.

“Monsters, little better than demons.” She hesitated for a moment, “Perhaps even worse.”

“Is it lonely?” He ended up asking after a pause, she seemed surprised by his question.

What he’d really wanted to ask though was whether she’d consider helping him. Teaming up with everyone who wants her dead, but even he realized how silly the idea was.

“Lonely?” She asked, watching the leaves drift along the river, all moving side by side, the same direction. “Yeah, it’s lonely. The only real friends you can ever make are other warlocks. Knowing that anyone near you could get hurt because of what you are, it keeps you from getting close to people.”

“So why keep going? Why continue?”

“You mean, throw away all of my work and just become an ordinary woman?” Her cast down eyes, looked saddened by something. “Most people who start out as Warlocks, do. They realize, they know, the kind of suffering this life brings a person. The people who don’t let it go. The people like me, the old man, Dvell; we all have some reason to keep on going.

“There are others, people who enjoy the power. Enjoy causing hurt and suffering, but they’re not as common as you’d think. And if you turned out like that, Dvell would kill you.”

Silence filled the air as they stared at each other, measuring each other up. After the pause stretched out for too long a time, he finally asked her what he’d been wanting to know.

“The Sasahara Knights, what do you think of them?”

“I think that they trying to do the right thing. I think in their own way they’re protecting people, and they’re probably more righteous than I am. Even so, I’m not going to let them stop me. I have my own reasons for doing what I do, and I can’t stop now.”

“If they didn’t want you dead?”

“If they didn’t kill every mage that they found, then they wouldn’t be the Sasahara Knights. If you’re asking me whether I have a problem with how they use demons, then no, I don’t care. If anything, I’d like to talk with one. Open book, no secrets. Just talk, learn about them, their demons, their stama. How they do what they do.”

“But they’d never let a monster like me live long enough for introductions.” She sneered before walking off.

Already the morning had grown late, men were out and about, bathing in the river, cooking breakfast and dressing for the new day. Matt watched them from a distance, how simple and happy their lives seemed.

Manual labour through the day, but the freedom to laugh and smile. To sing and dance when the mood took them. To eat food that was more than just nutrition. All was put to threat by his own world.

With a heavy sigh he left where he’d been resting his feet and walked the direction of Dvell’s workshop. Arcide waved to him on his way over but didn’t interrupt him. Lukur on the other hand, stared at him with darkened expression, his concerns over Matt’s wellbeing seemed to have changed since last night.

“Matt.” He called out, waving him closer. “You, didn’t leave the workshop last night, might I ask if something is wrong?”

“It’s nothing really.” Matt replied, not knowing how to reply to the man, “I just slept there last night.”

“Hmm,” His gaze darkened, “Well, get about your work then.” He said, walking away.

Shrugging off the uncomfortable confrontation he continued on to Dvell’s hut. Inside, the sounds of snoring had faded away, but new sounds replaced it.

The clapping of metal, and the off-key singing from a man still barely awake. His voice occasionally dipping as if he were falling back to sleep again. The strange nature of it was oddly welcoming, reminding him of the home he’d lost so long ago.

Walking into the room he was invited in by a busy Dvell, “Come, come, we need to get on top of this immediately. Today is a busy day.”

Matt was dragged into the room towards where Dvell was already putting together various instruments. “Now that we have the formula perfected we need to prepare for full-scale application.”

“What is… full-scale application?”

“Ah, a little too ahead of myself I see. What I mean, is making enough of the solution to use on the clay. For now, it’s just for the outer wall, that’s what step 1 has been about. Getting the mixture right and rebuilding that wall.

“After that,” He continued grabbing a large pot and settling it over a small fire, “We’ll be working on rebuilding the city itself. Giving the survivors homes to live in, or at least to keep them out of the rain.”

He gestured over to a large vase filled with clear water, “Pour that into here.”

“Now the third phase is about reconstructing the city entirely. You’ve seen how this city used to be nothing but the caste and clay hovels? The only real difference was in the quality of the clay used. Only a few were lucky enough to make a real living here.

“The King didn’t like that, but until now he hasn’t had the chance to change it. So, he’s decided to rebuild this city into something resembling the coastal cities in the east. Using hardened clay to build amazingly tall and extravagant buildings.

“Apparently he sold off some of the queen’s old jewellery just to pay for the designers to come here and work on the constructions.” He smiled as he talked about the king. For all his nice words, Matt simply couldn’t put them together with the man he’d met in that throne room.

“For now, keep mixing this while, I,” He sprinkled a perfectly measured amount of silver into the water solution, “add our precious minerals to the mix.”

As Matt continued stirring the man continued talking, “This part is easy, we’ll be done before breakfast.” His stomach grumbled in disagreement as he worked.

“So, this clay that we’re making, it’s going to the wall?” Matt asked, swapping arms so that he could keep mixing at a constant pace.

“Yes, yes. It’s going to be used as the mortar between the stones. A little unconventional I know, since this is going to be far stronger than the stones themselves.” He let out a little giggle at the thought.

“We’re going to be putting together enough clay for the wall today and tomorrow, seeing stage one of the reconstruction efforts finished. After that we need to output a more dilute version of the clay for housing reconstruction. Though we already have the different recipes together for that, from our hard work making this.

“Fortunately we’re not having to do the actual building of any of this, just a little bit of mixing and magic.” He finished adding the ingredients to the mixture, pulling Matt’s hands away so that the particulates could settle.

“See how they’ve clumped?” he asked, pointing to the water. Matt leaned over the pot, staring inside to see what he was talking about.

When he’d been adding parts to the water solution, they’d all been separated into tiny grains. Something easily overlooked in the watery solution, but as he glanced into the still swirling waters he noticed something different forming.

The particles were gathering together into small clumps.

“You didn’t notice before, did you?” Dvell asked, staring into the waters. “This is the reaction that I have to look for. It’s only when they’ve clumped together like this that they react positively to the demon’s energy release.

“When we have some time, I’ll show you how to control the demon for something like this. It’s not so simple as bursting a fireball to hand, as it would merely boil the water off and turn this into a steam room.

“Rather, you have to force the energy to release slowly,” He said, touching the gem locked into the pot, “That way when the workers take it over to the wall, it’ll still be clay. If it hardens too soon, they’ll have massive misshapen bricks and nothing more.”

Dvell’s stomach grumbled interrupting his speech where Matt didn’t have the guts.

“Ahe,” He let out a small laugh, “I’ll finish this, while you get us some food then,” He waved Matt to go out and fetch some of the food that was being cooked outside. “I don’t need any of the fancy food they’ve been offering, but that stew sounds like enough to rejuvenate my dying soul.” He called out energetically.

Matt dove out of the door before the man had the chance to change his mind. Outside was filled with life, and noise, as countless men were boisterously waiting around the pot for their share of the stew that was cooking at the centre.

The cook, noticing that Matt was there for work rather than self-indulgence quickly drew out two bowls off of the top. They then began serving everyone else, to the sound of cheerful cries.

Arcide gave him a small glance from inside the group, his eyes making it clear that he wanted to talk about something. Though whatever it was would have to wait, Matt didn’t have the chance to steal away for a private conversation just now. Hurriedly heading back to the man he was hired to assist, he heard conversation leaking out from the workshop.

Upon returning he was surprised to find, Oiral and Tharil, both, back in the shack speaking with Dvell. Both with meals that resembled the feast he’d shared with the Knights more than the stew that was warming his hands.

“Still enjoying the simple things in life, Dvell?” Tharil asked, looking over to the stew, while chewing on a thick cut of meat. “After getting all of this power, you neglect your own health?” The older man wasn’t hesitating to cut through his meal as he ate without concern for the few manners Matt actually remembered.

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for nostalgia.” He smiled taking the bowl, “But like hell am I going back to sleeping in the cold wet mud.”

Oiral spoke up, waving around some of the same meal Tharil had been eating, “I see, you’re not glorifying the past none then? Good thing, didn’t want to lose you just yet to the musings of old men. Already have more than enough of that.” Oiral was eating the same sort of feast as the elderly man at their table.

“Never,” Dvell replied, “Remember you left my lovely companionship for those musings.”

“Oh, shut it,” Tharil waved a chunk of his steak at them, “You young fools wouldn’t know how to tame a demon if it leapt into the gem itself. Hell, you’re still holding onto that little one yourself, what d’ya call it? lin, Rena, or what have you.”

Dvell’s face dropped at the man’s words, but quickly he returned to himself, “And you’ve never caught a demon worth the name.” he threw back, “At least I’m working on something sizeable.”

“There’s a reason I lived to an old age, boy.” He said eating another large mouthful of blackened meat, “Not taking chances was a big part of that. Another was eating good meals whenever you get the chance.

“The smallen’s do as you need them to, so long as you tame them right. You don’t need much power to make a difference.”

Matt tried as he could to follow along with the conversation losing the flow as they spoke with strange terms. Though, even he could see that these two were the kind to argue over and over, just as they had the night before.

“Well when I tame…,” He paused, unable to voice the name, “When I get that power, I could have this wall built myself in the snap of my fingers.” Dvell proclaimed, to the laughter of the others.

“Sure, sure,” Oiral laughed at him, slapping at her now empty plate, “Thing is though, you never will tame it. Your apprentice has better chances of taming it than you.”

“Perhaps in ten years time.” Dvell replied playfully, their words, and arguments lacking the heat he’d seen elsewhere. It seemed to him, that even in their disagreements, these people stood together when it mattered. To him, they looked like close friends.

They continued their banter until long after their plates were cleaned. As conversation died down, they all began to relax.

Tharil let out a long sigh as he thought over something, chewing on his lip like it was a bad habit, “Thinkin’ about settling down after this.” He rocked back and forth slowly on his chair. “Keep a few demons around to help out around the house, but I’ll have to pass the rest on.”

“What’s your collection at now?” Oiral asked, she didn’t seem surprised by his sudden declaration.

“Two and twenty,” Tharil replied, “All smallen’s mind you. Though that’s enough for an old man like me.”

“I could probably use a few more smaller demons for training.” Dvell told the old man, as he looked over to Matt, “Though I get the feeling that he’ll catch on pretty quick.”

Tharil looked to Matt, examining him, “Yes, well, he certainly has what it takes. I’ll let you have the empty shells I have around as well. Train him well though, I don’t need my demons coming back to haunt me because you failed to train the boy properly.

“Oiral, I’ll be keeping a pair of them for myself, but can you take care of the rest?” he asked looking to the younger woman.

“It’d be my pleasure, and nice to have something to remember you by, while you whittle away the last of your life.”

The old man laughed letting out some of the stress he’d been building up as he talked with them. “Well that’s that, lets finish off this last job so that I can find a town with kids a little too courageous. I need to make a few kids scared out of their little minds before I go to the grave.”

Lifting himself up from the chair, he strode to the door, a new life coming to the man as he left for his own workshop. Oiral followed soon after with Dvell and Matt watching as they left.

“Listen to what that man tells you,” Dvell told Matt, still looking through the closed door, “Not many live to see his age, took me a little too long to learn from him, and it was a little too late by then.

“Alright enough of the talking, let’s get on with this.” Dvell called out spiritedly, pulling out another caged demon as he walked over to the pot they’d been working on. “Let’s finish this.”