Cedric woke early in the morning. He had been given a week to recover from the incident at Thaktall. For him, that meant spending days wallowing within his thoughts. He didn’t do much other than lie in bed. Occasionally Sir L had come by to do some exercise. Today he was scheduled to meet with the doctor behind the elixir. She wanted to conduct some final tests on him, and apparently, she had something special to give him. he was glad for the opportunity to meet her, as he hadn’t had the opportunity to properly give his thanks yet. Although it wasn’t a really big deal, it was an incentive to crawl out of bed.

His friends were still out on missions and Thor had been sent out on one a day after they had returned. None of that made him feel as lonely as finding the letter from his parents had. It had been in response to his request to bring them here, and he hated every word of it. It was still there, next to his bed on a small dresser that rested beside it. He still didn’t use the bed, or his room much in general. Putting the letter there had been a way to forget about it. However, he couldn’t forget about what they had written. It had been an apology.

They had asked for forgiveness for the way they had treated him. Explained that they couldn’t make a trip because his mother was pregnant. He hated the letter, but he couldn’t blame his parents. No, he understood why they wouldn’t want to be around Cedric, especially if they heard about what he had become. What he didn’t understand, and what he hated, was the fact that they were asking for forgiveness. The only people who had ever shown him any kindness were his parents, and he never wanted something like an apology from them. He just wanted to give the opportunity to leave that village that had treated them so poorly. Now, he knew that the best thing he could do for them was forget that they ever existed.

He wondered if everyone would be better off if he just left. Go somewhere where no one could ever find him. He had caused so much death, and the war would only get worse moving forward. Sir L had talked about how they could plan for larger-scale invasions now since all of the knights had received the elixir. Some even received more pure variants. Apparently, they were preparing for a long-term invasion and planning on moving the capital to a city further inland. It was not the old capital, that was occupied by Elpis directly. Also, the location of their institute and council.

Cedric was not looking forward to the invasion. Some days he wanted vengeance to go and help in the war, but most days were like today. Instead of some strong resolve or determination, he felt afraid and alone. Not for his life, but for the things he would do and who would be left once everything was over. That had been the thing that kept recurring. The thought that he would be completely alone at the end.

Noticing sunlight leaking through the open window, he pushed himself to get up off of the ground. The wood creaked loudly as he moved. Rather than stand immediately, he rolled closer to the hallway, before using the wall to prop himself up. He had the strength to stand easily, but he didn’t have the drive. He wanted to feel better, to act like he did a week ago, but he couldn’t just change himself. Still, he needed to go see the doctor and show his gratitude at the very least. He owed her that much.

As for the rest of the war, he wasn’t sure anymore. There were times when he felt like he needed to do something and wanted to participate. Though, there were always some thoughts that reminded him of the cost of something like that. he tried drowning out the thoughts, instead of trying to divert his focus to the city around him as he left his home. It was early in the morning. The sun had only risen a few minutes ago, but there was still a general flow of people outside. They were probably heading to their jobs.

He distracted himself by imagining what jobs the people he saw might have. After walking through two streets, he realized that most of the people he saw were women. There was the occasional man, but the majority were obviously women. While it was true that women didn’t generally join the army, it wasn’t something that was discouraged. If anything, it was considered honorable for anyone to pursue becoming a knight. Seeing them walking happily to their job, he wondered if he would’ve been better off doing something like that. No, that was not an option for him before the elixir. It had been what had saved him, and he owed Larkin his service.

Several people looked at him, and he flinched away when his eyes met theirs. All of his strength and experience didn’t make him confident. He thought he was getting better at interacting with people, but he still didn’t like meeting people's gazes directly. He had been given high honors in front of the city, and many people were able to recognize him. Children especially would follow him when he went for walks. They didn’t approach, but trailed behind him, hiding behind other people and buildings. They weren’t very good at hiding, or maybe his senses had gotten better. He had improved everywhere else, but they were just children. It was probably a combination of both.

After a few minutes, he arrived at the military building. It was made of white stone bricks, though it was obviously something that was built recently. The stone didn’t have the same blemishes the other buildings nearby did. None of the scratches or damage to the other buildings. The home he had received was not anywhere near as new as this building. He entered, surprised to see a group of people working on something. They were running between tables and vials, and Cedric just hovered by the entrance. Lights hung directly above each table, which was spaced out in an efficient manner. They were designed to let the maximum amount of people to work on any given table.

Somebody approached him from the side and tapped his shoulder. Cedric noticed them arrive but was trying to figure out who it was. It was the tired eyes that told him who he was speaking to. It was the doctor he had met before. Except she was different now. She seemed a little taller, and her skin was no longer sickly and pale. In general, it looked like she had become a new person. Become younger and healthier, and even he was able to guess what the cause was.

“Uhm, hello. You look better?”

He couldn’t make himself speak comfortable around the suddenly beautiful doctor and ended up making his statement a question. She didn’t seem to mind or even notice.

“Hello, Cedric. Follow me. I have your gift in another room.”

She barely even looked at him and started walking along the right wall. Cedric followed easily and tried to figure out how to politely reject the gift. He was more interested in offering his own gratitude.

“I don’t really need anything from you. The elixir was more than anything I could ever hope for. It had cha-“

“No, it was not enough. Your body has provided the best research for me. I have heard you have been having trouble with your memories. I have made something that will hopefully help with that.”

Cedric’s mouth froze as she trampled over his words. Her words gave him hope. What could she possibly have to help him with his memories? They walked in silence for a few seconds before she turned into a room on the right. It didn’t have a door and was just hidden behind an archway. Inside, he could see a single table in the center of the room. A light hung on the wall above it. Like all of the other lights in the building, it was some kind of crystal that seemed to produce light on its own. On the table was another metal canister, which he suspected had the elixir inside. However, he was more focused on the glass bottle next to it.

There was a blue liquid inside, that seemed way more viscous than normal water. When She got to the table, she grabbed the glass bottle, and the liquid inside didn’t even move as she did. A second later she was pushing the liquid into his hands, and he was surprised to feel that it was lukewarm. He didn’t drink it right away and waited for an explanation from the doctor. After his previous attempts at conversation, he decided to avoid doing it. It was the right call, as she started speaking without seeming to even look at him.

“It is a potion that will help you deal with the memories. It should make you more capable in general, especially in your next fight. The effects will wear off eventually, but the war will be over by then.”

Her eyes were glued to the blue drink, and it followed it as he raised it to his mouth. She spoke with such confidence that he found himself trusting her. Honestly, he would’ve taken it regardless. She had made the elixir and had already showcased her abilities. She had earned his trust and that of the kingdom. Who was he to refuse something made specifically for him?

He pulled a cork out of the glass bottle and held the liquid to his lips. It smelled spicy and stung his nostrils a little as the fumes entered them. He tilted the bottle slowly, but the liquid didn’t move until the bottle was almost completely upside down. Only then did it start to flow down the bottle. It didn’t slide down the walls but slowly descend from the center of the fluid. It looked like would come out in drops. Although, once the stream started entering his mouth, he saw it getting pulled from the side of the bottle as well. it was coming out like a single object.

It tasted sweet and felt refreshing, and he wondered how it had managed to burn his nose so much. The fluid was as thick as it felt, and it slowly ran down his throat. It was enough to make him gag a few times. It filled his mouth too, and he would have vomited if not for the doctor’s presence. He didn’t want to embarrass himself more than he already had, so he stomached the horrid texture. Once the last of the liquid had left the bottle, he closed his mouth tightly. If there had been a drop more then Cedric wouldn’t be able to hold back the vomit. With his mouth closed, another concern popped up. He couldn’t really breathe as the liquid slowly descended his throat. When he tried to, he found that no air would come. He tried speeding up the process, swallowing as hard as he could, It barely made a difference, and he glanced at the doctor with fear in his eyes.

“You are just going to have to bear with it. Don’t worry, we know that you can survive without breathing. The pain should be well within your limits as well.”

The doctor sounded interested rather than concerned. He felt a chill run down his spine but tried to relax. Apparently, he didn’t need to breathe. He wondered how she found that out but didn’t think he would understand even if he was told. Processing her words, he tried to sit down at the table. It was only a few feet from him, but he stumbled as he reached for it. He managed to catch himself on it. Even if he wouldn’t die from the lack of oxygen his body was beginning to fail him. Even as it happened, he healed, and his body bounced between control and lack of it. It was horrifying, though she had been right about the pain. It felt like his whole body was itchy, but there was no actual pain.

When he got the final part of the liquid past his airways, he took a huge breath. Actually, filling his lungs with air again, hurt more than drinking the potion had. He started coughing, as he recovered. He froze when he felt something within him change. The sadness and fear had changed. They were smaller, and it seemed like something he could handle now. His gaze went to the doctor, his eyes filled with regained happiness.

“What happened, I feel a lot better now?”