It didn’t take long for me to be dragged around as the novelty I was. During the evening, walking around the palace with the company of the three oddballs - that is, of course, Arsamira and co. - we landed upon the library, that, as any proper nerd, I was rather excited to see. Beautifully carved doors that were opened with an equally gorgeous key, the smell of paper, wood, and ink. I had never been in a dreamy library like the ones in movies and series, with ancient books holding secrets worth unraveling. It was enough to shake my heart, for as reality hit, so did the fantasy.

Mizuen took the first step in, and we all followed behind. I didn’t notice back then, but now I know they were looking at me; I was too busy being fascinated by the silky-looking chairs and the mythical ambience, by the high ceilings covered in potted plants and the strangely closed bookshelves covered in various runes. Moved around by Daien’s hand, we sat down in front of a window. They dropped some notebooks on the table, Arsamira still directing his curious smile at me. It felt like getting ready for an interrogation, now that I think about it.

- “Well, you see…The prince wanted to talk to you….” – Mizuen looked apologetic as he opened his notebook.

Arsamira checked his own - apparently, they had a small meeting yesterday to prepare for this, or so it seemed by the notes scattered around the pages. The prince read out loud.

- “I am sorry. For not visiting. Yesterday.” – Stiff, almost awkward. Yet, he managed to talk with a smile. – “I got scolded. So I could not go.”

- “Ah- It’s fine. I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble.” – What was I apologizing for, though!? I’m the one who got dragged into this!

Once the trivialities were settled in - and we got the snacks out - their curiosity decided to join the meeting, too. I guess it was natural to want to know about my world. But I wasn’t expecting-

- “…Can I touch your hair?”

- “…Excuse me?”

- “Ah. The prince asked since…Black hair is an unknown sight. People from our lands don’t have black hair.”

So that was why the Queen held it, I understood.

I took one of my long strands and nodded; suddenly, all three of them were over me brushing it. It felt soft… Soft and comforting, how careful they were. Like a soft massage that I couldn’t run away from, in the tranquil ambience of a spring noon, sunshine and fresh air surrounding us. The inevitably comfy. Sooner than later I felt too relaxed… and started to drift asleep. I didn’t get a good rest the previous night, so it wasn’t surprising. But what was actually surprising was that they just let me sleep there, dreaming of the comments they made when I was off.

“It reminds me of Master,” or, “it’s softer than it looked.” Things I vaguely remember now, but it seemed like they had fun.

I woke up as the sun was starting to set. Mizuen, by my side, was reading a book with a soft smile on him. He didn’t notice I was awake at first, so he jumped when he felt me reading over his shoulder. I had noticed it was in English - which was, well, kind of shocking. Being in another world and all.

- “Ah-! M-Mister…Von…You are awake-”

- “Good…evening, is it? Sorry for startling you - you were so focused, I didn’t want to bother.”

- “Is no problem! I was waiting for you to wake up anyways! Huh… Ehm…” – With that doubt in his tone, I remembered what I was taken there for. Holding my arm, looking away, apologetic, I didn’t know if I should have laughed it out or felt guilty. I really fell asleep back then huh... That was embarrassing for an adult.

- “Oh right. Sorry- uhh... Sorry for earlier. You can ask now if you want.”

- “Hm?”

- “Ah- I fell asleep while you all wanted to ask stuff, so I guess you have some things you are still curious about?”

- “It’s…that’s alright- It’s no problem, do not worry-”

- “I already said it was okay. It’s no trouble. I might be here for a while, talking about my world helps with the anxiety.” – I laughed internally.

- “Then… Huh… About this book. It’s a book my master left for me. He said originally in your world this was considered fantasy, but that later on it became scien- scies- science fiction. That the things became possible.”

- “Oh- That’s Around the World in Eighty Days. A Jules Verne book. I loved those when I was a kid-!” – It was a surprise to find such a book in another world, I got overexcited, aight! So much so that it was a few seconds til’ it hit me. – “…Your master had this book?”

- “Yes, he also came from another world. But- But he came here himself. He is the one who teach…teached…taught- me the spell we used to bring you, actually. My master… he was a really powerful mage, the reason we were able to keep our peace for long was his presence. He bought…No, no- brought- brought? strange magic and sorcery, unknown knowledge and traditions… And he taught me his language so I could read of them.” – He spoke so fondly of this master of his, going on and on about the impact he made. It seemed that more than wanting to ask something, he just wanted to tell me about him. Probably because - “…you remind me of him.”

- “O…Oh.”

- “Ah- I mean… It’s probably just that you both come from another world and have black hair. Is it a common thing outside here?”

- “Pretty common, probably.”

At that moment, I began to feel the eyes of the servants twice as much in my memories. Suddenly I was competing. Competing against their expectation, against their assumptions that I was, also, a game changer. I laughed before speaking again.

- “I’m a useless drop-out with no ambition. Please don’t think highly of me.”

His dumbfounded face was incredibly satisfying, so I kept laughing for a bit. It was nice to be able to talk to someone like this.

The day went on as expected. We had to get a meal directly from the kitchen after missing lunch, which, of course, led to a quick meeting with the chef. Thank the gods Mizuen seems to get along with all the servants. We went back to the library, where I told him about the places in Verne’s book and, also, the vague knowledge I had of how the things it proposed became possible. Good thing about being a writer, even as a hobby - you learn a lot of really specific trivia. Like, that mountain goats are not goats, but still of the caprinae. – Oh, and, he also taught me more about their world.

Even if I still couldn’t get a hold of reality, I still had fun. We had a dumb little chat about how certain accents sound a bit silly, and that apparently a region in this world also has a silly accent. To know that this world was as complete as mine… It was truly real, wasn’t it…?

It is.

Night was something else. I still couldn’t sleep properly, so I found myself staring at the sky to try and find peace. The ordeal had settled down, so I was left wondering… If I was missed as much as I missed those I loved. I wondered if my cat missed the daily raw shrimp, or if my friends noticed I hadn’t answered their messages. I wondered… I wonder. I still wonder if my mom was lonely that day. If she’s lonely now. I wonder if they are looking for me, or if they moved on. I don’t know which would let my heart settle better… The hope of returning is fading away.

I started thinking about my life, that night. About my childhood friend, Callie. About my sis. About my mom and my grandma. About my ex, even. Maybe I was looking for a guide…For a quote…For anything that could tell me “this is your destiny.” I relived memories of their words and actions in my head over and over again, wondering what was I doing, why I was there. But there was nothing. I had never been someone special, and the light of innocence faded long ago. I had no foretold quest, no clues, no lantern to guide my path.

I had nothing to prepare me for this.

Once again, I was lost in life. That calmed me down, in a way.

It was not the first time I was lost, and it wasn’t going to be the last, either. But I survived this far, so all was going to be fine.

I went to sleep with that hope as a lullaby.

I woke up to a curious maid’s eyes as she was serving a glass of water.

- “Mister…Von? ...Morning audience…Ready.” - Is as much as I managed to understand. She did say more, of course, but I was just beginning to learn. Even if it’s easier when you are fully immersed, there are words I always seem to forget - even from English. Haha. Byelingual.

Like the previous day, Mizuen came to my aid. I needed to be dressed extra formal that day, you see; I was to be presented to the court at noon.

I didn’t even feel like I was actually there yet, not quite. But remember. Just a deep breath. Take it easy.

I decided to skip breakfast, both because of the nerves and to avoid getting these fancy clothes dirty. I sat in the bed moving my legs and playing with the bed sheets a bit, my only company being the maid who woke me up, as she had to clean the room. I got up to help, but she saw how restless I was, so she just patted my head and smiled. Back to bed, I guess.

A knock woke me up from the eternal slumber of nervous sitting.

- “It’s almost time, so please follow me.”

Mizuen was, to say, well dressed. But that wasn’t the important part, I tell you. The thing that shook me was that he had pulled his hair back from his face. A clean ponytail. I could finally see his eyes-

- “…Do I look weird?” – He asked, already lifting his arms, as if to try to untie his hair.

Not at all! I stopped his arm, before saying anything, and fixed his bowtie.

- “Not at all. I was just surprised; it's the first time I see your eyes.” – He smiled a little bit after clearing his throat. To see him nervous too calmed me down.

- “I’m glad they found a good outfit for you. You are so thin and small that it was a bit hard to tailor something fancier than yesterday’s change this quickly.”

Was I? I’ll admit I’m a bit underweight, but still. Tho I did find they could only give me a camisole for pajamas, so. I ignored the change of topic and fixed my hair a bit. That done, we headed towards the throne room.

Sun high in the sky, the ceilings illuminating the corners of the room, rays of light reflecting over the court members. Proud silhouettes of nobles and academics, in two formal rows across the hall. Standing in their shadow, I felt their sight of clear solemnity directed at me. I swallowed my nerves under their judgement.

Arsamira and Daien were already in front of the throne, waiting for me. Forced to wait there to show their crimes, I thought to myself, like puppies who were caught making a mess. Now together, we waited for the queen.

Her Majesty arrived.

Graceful and determined, each step full of dignity. Mighty, unreachable, a vision of an otherworldly beauty. The petals of her white dress painted, once again, by the rainbows of the stained glass above her throne. There, she sat in front of us, the fairest of the lilies.

- “Good morning, dignified members of the court.” – We bowed to her, Mizuen whispering to translate her words. He struggled, but I managed to get a grasp of her regality; I shall write her prose as he intended to do. – “I’m glad to see everyone was able to make it in time. Without further ado, let us start.”

We had to stay bowing while the court stood up, the queen explaining what had happened, how I got here, and what they had decided. Their eyes turned to me again, some curious, some, kind of annoyed, and some actually seemed happy. Unexpected to me, with a gesture from the queen, they approached us.

- “This is Duke Meilar, who reigns over the territory of Miler, in the west. And this is Treasurer Sheqipi, they take care of finances. This is-” - And so it went on and on, until I was introduced to everyone. Handshakes, cold smiles, someone touching my hair. Judgmental eyes. I didn’t keep tab of everyone, just holding on to Mizuen as I zoned out of reality. Before I got back to my senses, the queen apparently called upon them to settle down. I felt Daien’s hand on my shoulder, securing me. Did I look sick? They seemed concerned… But I felt like I kept myself together pretty well.

- “I’ll keep this short. Mister Von has acceded to aid us in the war, yet we haven’t asked for details regarding how, as he just arrived in our world, and we didn’t want to overwhelm him with requests after he was so kind to agree. If you have any questions, lay them now. I hope you understand that I won’t accept any defiance regarding my choice to trust him, nor address the topic of my son’s irresponsibility, as that has already been settled. Yes?”

Murmur and silence. The court members looked at each other like questioning their own ideas. But one took a step forward.

- “If you allow me, Your Majesty.” – He was a tall, well-built man with long hair of a rose gold gleam. I think he was presented to me as Count Latrei, who was currently the second Court Mage. The queen nodded. – “I can’t help but disagree, even if you tell me not to bother. I understand our fondness of Mister Io, but we can’t put all our hopes in a…” – a hesitation; Mizuen took a few seconds – “…look alike.”

- “You misunderstand, Count. We are not placing all our hope in mister Von. He’s aiding us despite being kidnapped from his home; I do not wish to make his stay more difficult. Do not think of him as a hero, nor a replacement of Mister Io. So do not refer to him as such. Have I made myself clear?”

- “Yes, Your Majesty. I apologize for my rudeness.”

- “If there aren’t any more questions, I will call this meeting off. I don’t wish to keep taking from your time unnecessarily. We will reconvene after lunch to appraise the damages of the war. In addition, I’ll call for another meeting in 5 days’ time, for by that time the informants from Zeliram will have already arrived. As always, if there is anything you need during your stay...” - she took a pause to look at me - “...feel free to talk to my advisor.”

After she left the room, the court following her, Arsamira was the first to call my name. He approached, but the events went a bit too fast for me, so I was still… spacing out. He pinched my cheek, trying to wake me up. By the time I felt pain, we were already moving.

Though gone, the court had left their sights on me. I could feel their expectations. I felt heavy. It was a fear I hadn’t felt in a while. The fear of having to decide, the fear of confrontation and moving forward. I felt glad I skipped breakfast. I held myself in a hug, while Daien’s blurry, white silhouette guided me outside the throne room and helped me sit down in a corner.

It was alright, I said to myself. It was all okay. A glass of water later, I finally could talk.

- “…Sorry. I don’t do well with important people.”

- “Is alright, can you stand? I was worried it was because you did not had breakfast…”

- “It’s fine. I don’t think I can eat yet but…I’d like some fresh air.”

Daien didn’t let go of me as we headed to the gardens, guiding me through each step. Even when I was clearly better. It was a bit embarrassing, but I thanked her wholeheartedly.

As you would expect from the gardens of such a castle, there was a maze of flowers and bushes, lush and bright; shadows cast from plants tied together in arches of blossoming buds; a fountain reflecting the sun’s rays, rainbows forming under its flow. A beautiful sight altogether, we rested next to its core, watching the butterflies and bees flutter around. I played with the water in the fountain’s basin, fiddling with the ripples of the fallen drops.

As if fearing I would disappear, Arsamira held my arm. His furrowed eyebrows contrasted with his soft smile.

- “I’m sorry for causing a ruckus. I didn’t mean to scare you.” – I said, looking down. Mizuen was glad to translate, his gentle tone reassuring them. All I got in return was more petting and some candy from Daien.

I thanked them silently for not questioning my weakness, but I understood too. It would be too much for their guilt to also blame me for the weight they put on my shoulders.

I let the breeze blow time away.