Jack found Kieran waiting patiently on the couch. He sat down on the opposite end and wrung his sleeves together. He only had to open his mouth, say he was asexual, and get dumped. His scars would never get the chance to be an issue. Easy enough. "So, I uh…"

He stared at his lap as his mouth went dry, wishing Kieran would fill the silence. After a few false starts, he stood up and began pacing. "I… I thought this was gonna be easy, sorry," he said quietly as he settled against the wall. He glanced up and away when he heard Kieran stand and move closer. "I'm… Look. I like you. A lot. Really a lot. You're great. And I'm fucked up in a lot of ways."

"Take a deep breath, sweet thing," Kieran said as he came to stand in front of Jack. He brushed aside some of the hair covering Jack's face. "You're doing well. Whatever it is, I won't judge you."

Jack choked out a small and bitter laugh. "You say that now, but… No, this is… I guess not big-big, but for some people it's a pretty big deal breaker. Most people, actually. I-I… I don't wanna lose this," he said, gesturing between them.

"Here." Kieran gently kissed Jack's forehead. "It'll be alright. It can wait."

"Yeah, but it shouldn't."

Kieran pressed his forehead to Jack's and smiled. "You're under no obligation. Whatever it is, it can wait until you're comfortable."

Jack swallowed and nodded. "Maybe next time," he said quietly. He sighed, and a small piece of him unwound as Kieran placed another kiss on his forehead and stroked his hair. He really didn't wanna lose this.

"I would love to have a small taste of you, my sweet siren," Kieran whispered into Jack's hair.

"Uh…"

Kieran lightly pecked Jack's lips. "Nothing more, I promise," he said, his lips brushing against Jack's.

Jack's heart raced. Was Kieran only after a deeper kiss? He could do that. Anything else, and he could easily lift his knee and hope for the best.

"Sure?" he whispered.

He met Kieran's eyes, and a wave of relaxation swept over him before he was kissed. It was more than he was expecting.

Deep. Thorough. Hungry.

His head was gently tilted as Kieran's tongue ran against his own, and it wasn't awful. It wasn't too wet, and Kieran's hands didn't wander. If this was as far as things went, then everything might actually work out.

He was allowed to be delusional for five minutes. He earned it.

The kiss turned lighter, and Kieran nipped his way along Jack's jaw. Sweet promises of being pampered whispered through the air, soothing Jack's constant worries.

Jack tensed as Kieran's attention settled on his neck. Everything was still fine. He was okay. Nothing heavy. Nothing he wasn't ready for. Just a small taste.

He was unable to tell where the softly reassuring whispers were coming from. They sounded like Kieran, but were felt more than heard. A relaxing murmur sifting through the cotton clouds filling his thoughts.

Just as he began to relax again, a tongue ran along the length of his neck.

Too much. Not right. Not again. Not…

Jack pushed Kieran away with everything he had. He gasped as the room sharpened, and he focused on Kieran's shocked stare.

"I-I… I'm… No. Y'know what? I'm ace. There. I said it. You can leave now. Or I can leave. I mean, I'm gonna go." He clutched his sleeves as he kept an eye on Kieran. His taser and pepper spray were on the other side of the room in his bag, and he had no hope of getting to them in time.

Kieran's eyes darted back and forth minutely, his frown deepening. "I'm afraid you've lost me, or I misheard," he said slowly.

"Ace. Asexual. Not interested in fucking you. It's not you, it's definitely me. Okay?" Jack said desperately, shrinking further against the wall and gripping his arms as tight as he could.

"I see. I must admit, this is not what I was expecting." Kieran's confusion became more apparent as he looked away, biting his lip.

"Look, I'm not gonna let you fuck me. Ever," Jack said. He hated having to spell it out for someone, and Kieran's reaction was only making his embarrassment worse. "This has been fun, but we're not gonna work out in the long run."

Kieran eyed Jack and eventually gave him a small smile. "Then it's a good thing I'm not looking for a sexual partner."

"You're not," Jack said, letting every bit of his doubt show. "Judging by the way you were going at my neck, I'm having a hard time believing you."

"That is… I'm not opposed to a higher level of intimacy, so if you ever change your mind, I'd be willing," Kieran said as he shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah, right," Jack scoffed, rolling his eyes. "People say that at first, then they realize I literally will not put out."

Kieran sighed and looked away as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I have far more experience bottoming, as it were."

"That's not really—"

"I have a blood flow issue," he quickly added.

Jack dropped his arms and stared at Kieran in shock. That was right up there with his own confession. He would have taken the chance to mention his scars if it wouldn't come off as trying to one up Kieran. "Oh. Er. Now I feel like an asshole."

"Don't. This is one of the easier conversations I've had about it," Kieran said, his smile returning.

Jack scratched at his neck and paused at the numbness. It was just the shock of having someone lick at his neck like a dog and finding out Kieran apparently couldn't get it up. And feeling like shit that he saw it as a good thing. He was a shallow asshole being presented with his idea of the perfect boyfriend on a silver platter.

"Would you like me to take you home?" Kieran asked, disrupting Jack's thoughts.

"I don't know," Jack quietly admitted as he rubbed at his arm. "I wanna go. I wanna stay. I just… I dunno."

"Do you want to be alone?"

Jack nodded and stared at the floor. He'd survived what was usually a deal breaker argument. He didn't know what to do with himself, but having a witness around while he figured himself out wasn't high on his list.

"You can stay up here for as long as you need," Kieran said. He slowly approached Jack. Cautiously, he lightly stroked Jack's hair. "If you change your mind, I'll take you home."

Jack nodded. "Yeah. That works. Thanks."

"Of course, my sweet."