As I followed the blue ball of light that was the High Mage, I thought about how remarkable the human mind was when it came to reading body language. I could barely see him by this point, but I could tell that he was annoyed.

It didn't really seem worth getting annoyed over. If his boss wanted to check up on him then just let it happen. Just follow orders. Following orders just made life easier.

Like for example when my boss told me to guide Terendrian for half an hour while pretending to be a robot, I did and sure it was tiring, but it seems to be going ok.

>

Understood Mistress Persephone.

>

Understood Mistress Persephone.

>

Understood Mistress Persephone.

>

Understood Mistress Persephone.

>

Persephone stomped off in her clip-clop heel, slamming what I can only kind of assume was the door to my brain behind her. I finally let myself smile slightly. Sometimes just that one moment of peace is worth it.

I decided now was the time to find out more about my new environment.

Slowly, which was as fast as my current golem mind could function, I turned and proceeded down a corridor I had not been in.

How big is this place? I'm supposed to be 'protecting' the dungeon core? Where is it?

The corridors were winding like an unending maze, and I kept going. At one point I came across a DireRat. Without the mage to blast it to smithereens in one blow, it made me a little nervous, but it largely ignored me, although it did stop for a moment to look in puzzlement at its own reflection off my body. A moment later, it's ears twitched...

"... and it is quite remarkable that such creature obviously unimaginatively based off a common rodent would recognize its own reflection, so based on this observation I, Zinnaella Harpsorcerer, would classify this creature as a Class D at the very least, the last example of which I saw about four months ago Bistulia in the form of a sentient pile of mud..."

It was one of the new adventurers; a tall, thin and very pale woman with short frizzly red hair in a long robe. Beside her was her male companion, who I guessed to be the one the System had called "Ghost Mamba Steve", whose tormented expression immediately twisted into a sadistic smile as he saw what was in front of him, which was either the DireRat or me.

We stood for an infinity of moments.

Memories of half-forgotten westerns sang harmonica in the back of my head as I became slightly cross-eyed keeping my eyes open on the Rat, the Blether and the Smile in a Wine-Coloured Cloak.

Then suddenly a hint of movement, the DireRat being clearly less of a fan than I was of Mexican Stand-offs.

It decided and then leapt at the Ghost Mamba, all claws and teeth.

-- shink shuuumph --

The Direrat split in front of me and not just in two. It actually peeled out from the bones and blood vessels.

I was covered in blood. Everything was covered in blood. The liquid contents of the DireRat covered everything.

Steve's choice of apparel suddenly made of lot more sense.

And the Dungeon caught up and the DireRat's viscera evaporated into a twinkling ruby mist leaving only a loot bag where it once stood.

The smile remained while blade was lovingly re-sheathed and the deep shadows of the hood continued to reveal nothing of the eyes. And the chattering continued unscathed.

"...I note the bile and innards of the specimen was clearly reabsorbed, which denotes both that it was indeed a Dungeon creature and possible more important that the Dungeon's functionality is indeed, multifunctionality and so we are not just in a trap Dungeon and can indeed..."

I froze as the lizard fear from my brain reviewed it's standard "flight or flight" plan in wake of what just happened and found resistance in my newer, but equally instinctive, sluggish and stubborn golem tendencies.

Sure the smile was creepy as fuck, peeking out from under the heavy, purple hood, but I also didn't give a shit. It was just a smile, people did those.

What is wrong with me? I know me, I should be terrified right now

-- Emotional Resistance increased to 6 --

Oh. Oh yeah. Fear's an emotion. That makes sense.

I walked forward.

The air became still and the Assassins tensed. It became so quiet that the only sounds were my footsteps, the ever present electrical hum and Zinnaella who appeared to be muttering to herself.

"Extraordinary specimen, wouldn't you say Steven? Look at the poise and the figure, clearly a creature of the Golem Phenotype, which is strange as the minimum requirement for that would be a Class A and this is supposed to be an incredibly new Dungeon, but I guess the TitanCore could have gone for a nonStandard configuration and invested more in a single creature, which I guess would explain the fairly generic traps and otherwise incredibly basic fair of monsters that we've found otherwise. It reminds of the Gardens of Bethel, you remember Bethel don't you Steven? With the Squirrels? Very fond of Hydrangeas. Gave us thimblefuls of Home-made Lemonade? Delightful, but slightly eccentric old Dungeon. Pity about her rogue Hexen Hive. Is was rather a shame when you garroted her, but even if they were only for the purposes of of pollination, we still couldn't allow a mana sink link that to roam free. What would happen if it fell into the hands of another city. You do remember don't you my dear? Steven? Steve? Do you remember?"

The smile became fixed and then final moved in a sharp now when it became clear that the record of conversation would not move on without his acknowledgement.

I continued walking forward slowly tuning her out to focus on the task at hand.

And then I walked past.

If I was going to get any time to explore by myself then I couldn't afford to stop for just any distraction.

-- Shiiiiiiiiink --

I dove forward just in time to feel the air swoosh behind my back.

I never had reflexes like these before!

My hand slipped, metal on metal, and my face smacked into the ground, luckily still metal on metal, but with a sharper sting.

I didn't have 'reflexes like these' now either.

-- ShiingScreeeeeeEE --

I could hear Steve running towards and the only thing I could imagine would be making the weird scrapping noise was hooded, smiling psychopath scraping a blade along the ground as he ran towards me.

What an absolute knobber! At least I have resistances to blunt attacks...

I rolled to the side on the basis that at least I wouldn't be stationary and face down, so I might be harder to hit.

-- New affliction gained: Dizziness --

I really have no idea what I'm doing.

Except maybe wanting to vomit.

I pushed myself off of the floor, in a way that can only be described as “badly”.

It felt like the floor was rolling under my feet, but I scrabbled to push myself up. I definitely didn't have time to fall over, but I was sure I could work out an opportunity to let out the vomit I was desperately holding back. Where was he?

--ShiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeClunnk--

“Ahyahfuckermyaarm!”

-- Ghost Mamba Steve has attacked Quicksilver Ben for 132 Blunt Slashing Damage (7 Damage resisted). Roll to prevent arm severing... [Autofail] --

It tumbles to the ground with a –clang--. It's oddly sanatised I realise, the rest of me suffering from a differing kind of detachment as I note the lack of blood.

--Shlunk-- I feel the sword being pulled out. --Shiiiiiiii--

Well, I wasn't expecting to die today, but I guess...

-- 1 damage taken. RESET ability triggered. New damage limit set to 2 --

And before I can think about what's going on I'm spinning again and struggling not to vomit. I'm Afflicted with [Dizziness] again. I push myself up again. I stand wondering like a moron again. He cuts off my arm A-fucking-GAIN!

-- 2 damage taken. RESET ability triggered. New damage limit set to 4 --

And I'm spinning and I wonder what happens if I keep spinning. And I find out, the bastard slices along the ground and I'm actually pushing myself into the blade for even more damage. And I'm being cut in half...

-- 4 damage taken. RESET ability triggered. New damage limit set to 8 --

This time I turn as I stand, I see the blade coming towards me. Instinctively I try to ward off the blow with my hand. I'm [Dizzy]. I fall forward into the blow. I see surprise in his eyes, does he not expect me fight back? The blade saws through my upper arm...

-- 8 damage taken. RESET ability triggered. New damage limit set to 16 --

I'm spinning again, but this can't continue. I have no idea what will happen if I die before the [Reset] triggers and it's becoming an exponentially larger damage trigger every time. I guess "easy mode" isn't going to last forever.... I launch myself at him again, but I'm still a second too slow. I'm thinking too much, I need to be faster!

His surprise is real though and I know where he is!

-- 16 damage taken. RESET ability triggered. New damage limit set to 32 --

I'm spinning, but not for long. I know the timing, I know where I am, I know what I'm doing!

-- Ben resists Affliction: Dizziness... [Success] --

I slap my hands into the ground, throwing myself up before I finish rolling. I'm still rotating, but more vertically. I feel more in control of my movements. I managed to quickly brace one knee for a second to keep the momentum upward, I turn to lunge, but I'm still turning, still spinning.

Fuck it, maybe I'll never be a ballerina, but maybe it doesn't matter

I sideways spin/tackle-jumped into the air a mess of knees and elbows orbiting myself. It wasn't going to be pretty, but it didn't need to be as my metallic body bludgeoned into the side of him.

This time we both hit the floor and a clatter rang along the floor away down the hall as his battered and notched blade tumbled across the floor.

Panic flashed across the Ghost Mamba's face and he scrabbled across floor after it. A reflection of panic flashed across my face too and I scrabble to do the same.

We raced towards it in a mad frantic crawl. Pulling, clawing and dragging at each other as we both tried to knock the other down, just desperately trying to get there first.

His hands curled tight round the hilt as he got there first and I felt his rictus grin starting to fill his hood even from my up close view of the back of his head.

It doesn't last long as I grab the back of his skull and smashed his head repeatedly into the ground.

His body slumped to the ground and finally, finally I'm fucking safe from Shia LaBo- Steve, I'm safe from Steve...

I pried his fingers from the hilt, just in the off-chance that he might return for a Shia Surprise, rather than for any great desire from his incredibly-used looking sword.

How in the Gods name did this thing cut me to ribbons? And how the fuck is this guy's grip so strong when he's unconscious? What kind of training regimen do you have to...

Luckily, before I finished that particular thought, the sword came free from his grasp and I received a notification telling me I had obtained a new weapon.