CHAPTER EIGHT

Slim Rowon was shitting under a tree and Davram stood watch by the road.

"Davram."

"Yes."

"You do not shit."

"I have not felt the need. I do not eat food."

"You drink water."

"Yes."

"Yet you do not piss."

"Perhaps Farah do not need to."

"A great convenience I envy."

Slim Rowon wiped with a leaf.

"Someone is coming," Davram said.

Slim Rowon lifted his pants and walked to the road. Down the road was a woman on a two-legged animal. The animal trotted towards them and stopped a few feet away. It smelled horrendous.

"What is that?" he asked.

"It is a woman."

"The animal."

"It is a bowrk."

"It smells terrible."

"You get used to it."

"Are you travellers?" the woman asked.

"We are," Slim Rowon answered, "We are heading to Myuria. Are we headed the right way?"

"No. You must turn north. That way."

Slim Rowon turned to the north.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Of course I'm sure."

"Do you have a map?"

"No. Do I look like I could afford a map?"

Slim Rowon stared at the woman.

"You look like the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

The woman laughed.

"The most beautiful you say?"

"That's what I say."

"Tell me more."

Slim Rowon grinned.

"Your eyes light up the world. Your lips are as luscious as ripe grapes. I'm sure they are sweeter than anything."

"You talk well."

"I do many things well."

Behind the smiling woman and down the road, a man and line of bowrks came walking. The man led the animals.

"My husband arrives."

Slim Rowon's grin faded away as the husband walked up beside the wife.

"Dear wife. Good day to you, gentlemen."

"Good day to you," Davram said.

"And a good day to you as well," Slim Rowon said.

"They were asking directions," the wife said with a wicked smile.

"North is Myuria?" Slim Rowon asked.

"Yes. You have come too far east."

"Very well. Come, Davram. North."

They walked off the road and headed due north. The woman watched them on her bowrk, then trotted away with her husband. Slim Rowon was in a low mood, and so they stopped and smoked some bertie and continued on. He was in higher spirits after.

"I am sure there will be a map in Myuria. How hard is it to make a map? Walk around and draw the shape of your travels. I could make a map."

"You should make a map, Slim Rowon."

"Maybe I should. And I will sell it for an enormous price. I would be a rich man."

"I would trust your map."

"Thank you, Davram. Yes. It would be the finest, most detailed map. Everyone would know Slim Rowon's map."

"When will you make this map?"

"Tomorrow. Today is too much of a good day."

They walked over several grassy hills and entered a forest. The sounds of insects and birds filled the air.

"They are all singing," Davram said.

"Yes. A chorus of the forest," Slim Rowon replied.

They walked and listened. After walking for several hours, they suddenly came upon a small pond. In the center of the pond was a small ruined temple, and in the center of the temple was a small statue, its features weathered into obscurity. They stopped to drink water and smoke the pipe.

"Yohoy," a voice called out.

Davram and Slim Rowon saw the broken statue, which glowed with an eerie light.

"Yohoy," Slim Rowon replied.

"Solve this riddle and get a treat," the statue said.

"And if we fail to solve the riddle?"

"I take your body and you remain here in the stone."

"What's the treat?"

"Your heart's desire."

"Let me think on it with my friend."

"Think quick."

"Shut your rump. You've got time a plenty. Some cursed murderer or such. Punished to be stone. You'll wait if I say you'll wait, statue demon."

The statue seemed to tremble and glow brighter, then it dulled away and stayed silent.

"Davram."

Slim Rowon motioned Davram away from the pool and sat on a stone. Davram sat on the ground. Slim Rowon smoked his pipe and handed it to Davram.

"I am good at riddles. Are you?" Slim Rowon asked and blew out smoke.

"What are riddles?"

"They are little puzzles made of words. He will ask a question that will not make sense, and we must find the answer. The answer is not always what you think it will be, so you must think differently in order to answer correctly."

"I have never solved a riddle."

"It is no worry. I will solve the riddle. My people are great riddlers."

"What if you fail? Will he take your body?"

"If he does, you must kill me immediately. I will give you my sword and dagger."

"I cannot kill you, Slim Rowon."

"You must. I will not have him take my body. We will find another body for me. Perhaps one that is taller."

"You will steal someone's body?"

"A loan. I will find another body for him."

"Where?"

"Do not worry, Davram. These questions will not matter after I answer the riddle and attain my deepest desire."

"What is your deepest desire?"

"I cannot tell you. It is bad luck."

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

Slim Rowon clapped Davram on the shoulder and they finished the pipe. They walked back to the statue.

"Give us the riddle," Slim Rowon said.

The statue glowed and laughed with delight.

"The more you take, the more you leave behind."

Slim Rowon thought deeply. He opened his mouth, then stopped, and closed it. He went back to thinking.

"Think hard. You have but one chance," the statue said.

"Then shut your fucking mouth."

Slim Rowon pondered and pondered, repeating the riddle in his mind. The more you take, the more you leave behind. Sweat began to form on his forehead. He paced back and forth, muttering the riddle under his breath. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What do I take. What do I leave behind. What is it. What is it. What is it...

"Footsteps," Davram answered.

The statue was silent.

"Yes," Slim Rowon said, "That is the answer. Yes! Give us that treat now!"

The statue trembled. Then it dropped something onto the ground.

"What's that now?" Slim Rowon asked.

"Two silver coins."

"What about our deepest desires?"

"You think some statue has the power to do that?"

"I have to walk over there?"

"That's right."

Slim Rowon sighed and waded over to the center of the pond. The water only came to his waist. He picked up the silver coins and put it in his purse. Then he walked up close to the statue.

"I don't like being cheated," Slim Rowon.

"That is unfortunate."

"For you."

Slim Rowon lifted his foot and pushed the statue over. It rolled into the water. It screamed and glowed but it could do nothing.

"I'll kill you! I'll get out of here and find you and slit your throats! I'll cut your balls off! I swear! I curse you! I will have my revenge!"

"Oh shut your whiny cunt you rotten creature. You lost."

He ignored the statue's screams and they walked away, Slim Rowon whistling a tune.

They walked through the forest and came upon a meadow and continued north. After much walking, they climbed a tall hill and saw a village of sorts out in the distance. Thirty or so buildings, mostly shacks and stretched hides. There was a gate and a road that led through the village.

"Is that Myuria?" Davram asked.

Slim Rowon stared at the village for awhile. Then he answered.

"No. That is not Myuria."