I wish I didn't open my big fat mouth.

There have been loads of times in the past when I shouldn't have. But I did and I still do.

Inherently disingenuous, she said.

I couldn't deny the validity of her statement.

So I froze, stuck in my own monologue. And she noticed.

Jun, like the meaning of her name, hates lying. Although she has told white lies to protect me before, this is something on a whole new scale.

"Whatever I did, or whatever I thought I did. Those memories are not my own! These feelings are not my own!"

She said that as if her existence itself was a lie.

"Fish, perhaps you need your great savior to step in to lend a helping hand?"

"Butt out, Amelia! I got this."

Just sit there and watch. There's no meaning to this if I don't solve her problem on my own. This is a problem I exacerbated.

"You were right all along, Zhang Shun... I am not Jun Ling."

Calm down, Zhang Shun. Say what you really think. Be honest. You don't have to use flowery language or overly contrived thought experiments. Just use your feelings!

"I already know that. So why are you repeating that now?"

"Because you don't seem to understand, Zhang Shun! I am not the same girl you spent all that time with. All my memories, thoughts, feelings and even myself, didn't exist until you created me."

"So do you hate me for that?"

"N-no! I would never hate you..."

"Why not?! I made you a fake, didn't I? Get angry! Shout at me! I made such an idealised copy of Li Jun Ling that she can't even hate me, no matter what I say or do to her! A perfect girl who will never lie to me, never leave me! All so that I could live in my own little fantasy!"

"No... no... none of that is true."

"Oh? What isn't true?"

"I'm not a perfect girl and I can lie..."

"But have you ever lied to me?"

"I lied when I said I was the real Jun Ling. My existence... itself is a-"

"Sham. Fake. I know. But asides from that you haven't consciously told me a lie, have you?"

"No... I can, I have."

"Then tell me what did you lie about?"

"I-I..."

She's fidgeting. She's uncomfortable with the way things have gone. I've got an idea.

"I wish I didn't have to do this, Jun."

I walk over to her bedroom door.

"Nooo!"

She tackled me. Soft spoken, shy, Li Jun Ling just screamed and tackled me to the ground.

"Why are you stopping me? This isn't your room, is it? You said you were a fake after all. Let me up."

"Nooo! If you open it I'll hate you!"

She's tugging on me like her life depends on it... This is so disorientating to have my vision shaken like this. Without any physical feeling, balancing myself is so hard with her pulling on me.

The moment I put my hand on the doorknob, I get pulled back again.

I heard laughter from the couch, further disrupting my train of thought shortly after being tackled and pulled around. Amelia was sitting there, on the edge of her seat, treating this like a movie in a theater. She was visibly shaking with mirth. Ignoring her, I continue to struggle with Jun.

"Hate me for all I care, you're just a fake right? So that hate isn't real either. If you're really just a fake, let me do as I wish. There's no reason you should care whether I enter here."

We continued grappling and struggling for control.

Somehow, she now has her back to the door and she's got my head buried in her chest in some sort of weird restraining hold while my hands prevents her legs from kicking me.

This is kind of erotic, isn't it?

I'm holding her thighs with my head on her chest while she's restraining and hugging me.

Once again, another moment I wish I had my physical body to feel and touch, so I could enjoy this.

Eventually I just slump over in her grip and give up... Not! I have a plan.

"Jun, my head's in your chest. Do you mind if I?..."

Whilst I say that, I make a creepy squeezing hand gesture for emphasis.

With a squeal, she draws back her legs and covers up with her hands.

An opening!

I get up quickly, twist the doorknob, she grabs me again but the doorknob has already been opened all the way.

We both fall through the doorway.

I'm flabbergasted.

How do I put it? It's like I entered the door to another world.