I awoke to the sounds of murmuring and faint lamps which remained a blurry smudge of gradient orange and white in my eyes. I reached for my eyes, but an oddly flexible rough stick -- which I assumed was a sort of wood, was tied around my hands with two bits of stick connecting to both cuffed arms. Though flexible enough to be comfortable, I couldn't seem to wriggle free from the sticks' grip.

My eyes cleared and scanned my immediate vicinity. I was sat up leaning on a bit of fence which seemed thicker than the rest of the wooden platform I was on. The platform itself was organic and rough with tree bark, and the leaves above formed a surprisingly good roof, though still connected to branches and the like. The only parts of these constructions that seemed artificial were the supporting beams, trellises, and the edges on any flat plane.

Looking further, I could see a decently sized village, twenty or so homes all wrapped around multiple trees with odd cylindrical bits sticking out at certain points. The windows were lit against the oppressive darkness, with shadows shuffling about through the windows. One of the smaller houses seemed to have a pulsating shado-- they're shagging, okay.

Fearing no immediate attacks, I turned to where the murmurs had come from. A small crowd of startingly short men and women -- around three and four feet tall, were looking down upon us from a similar platform a few average man's heights away.

These ones were quite different from the armoured little fuckers that fucked us over a while ago. Those ones wore leather armour, were thick as fuck in a muscular sense, had ginger body hair, and were way shorter than these guys. The ones looking at us now seemed more refined, more eloquent, and most importantly, just as tall as a short person would be.

These ones I could only describe as really short elves. They looked pretty much like people, red-headed and about four feet tall -- plus pointed long ears that seemed to perk up at my waking.

Oh right, where was I? Where was everyone?

I set about answering those questions and looked around my vicinity once more. Around me, I saw four of the little shits standing guard on all four corners of the platform I was on, simply staring at us through their leather caps and bushy beards. Around me was seven of my now unconscious meat bags laying about on the floor, stripped of their plate carriers and bulky equipment. I checked to see who I had with me and was pleased to recognize Gom from Second with his blocky hairstyle, square jaw, and aquiline nose.

Why didn't I think to do this first? It seemed the best thing to have done, regaining my bearings and taking stock of the situation. There was just something so alluring about this quaint little village, and I felt oddly calm observing it. Odd.

Hearing shuffling footsteps approaching, I sat back up and awaited whatever was in store for us.

Coming towards us was an unusually tall man for what I'd seen so far. Upon closer inspection, it was the Obba. Shit, the fuckers forgot to close the vehicle doors, didn't they? He approached me with a woman trailing behind, exuding the same elegance as those perched above us.

My relaxed state seemed to force me to observe everything around me in much more detail, but not the things that actually mattered. For one, I now noticed the Obba's ginger hair, not too different from the villagers. His nose was freckled, with a mat of curly hair framing his face and blue eyes.

Behind him was a short woman, dressed in robes lined with intricate geometric designs, tight enough to accentuate her decent figure with some modesty. She had the same red hair as the rest of the village, a darker complexion free of blemishes, and hair pulled back in a bun of sorts.

He approached and looked at me with quite a bit of anger. "Deal with this one, elf. Make him spill every little bit about their plans."

She nodded and grabbed me off of my comfy little position, and pushed me onto the small pathway headed up into the village. She roughed me up a bit and shoved pretty violently, to which I politely struggled. Having reached the wall of one little hut, she pinned me against it and leaned into my ear.

"We'll be alone in there," she said with the weird prolonged voice people use when they're trying to make themselves sound sexy. "I have other plans. Play along, okay?" She shoved me into the hut.

She slammed the door behind her and barred it up with some wood. Making her way across the room, she sat on top of me.

"If you'll excuse it, I'll have to be a bit rough, friend." She said.

She bent my arm in the wrong way, and I screamed politely. Gotta put on my best act in front of a lady, you know?

She leaned in to whisper in my ears. "I can be your friend if you'd just tell me how you and your worthless bunch killed so many of the Obba's guys. Seems a fair trade, yeah?"

Great.