"And out with it. You look like you got a question." mister Nez remarked as if he could read my mind.

"Ah. Yes, sir. Just one," I quickly inserted.

"Can the... wood magic you used and talked about be learned? I mean," I huffed in a quick breath, "can anyone learn it? Sir?"

Mister Nez hummed. "Thought for sure you'd ask for something else. But eh. Yep, it is. If you can already do that fire then anything is possible as well," pausing he added, "of course, time is needed. You can't just learn any spell just by the thought of it. So I'm breaking it with you, kid. You'd need time."

I nodded eagerly, wanting some pen and paper now so I could write what he said.

"But!" he quickly stressed, "resources and experience make up for that, so don't be discouraged, ok? Anyway, just rest up and make up for that later. Magic ain't gonna run from you, kid. You've got enough time, that I assure you. Cool?"

Experience and resources. I caged my curiosity with a bow and another "sorry," which was again waved by him. But that pretense I held couldn't mask the rejoice burbling in joy and excitement for that. I could learn it!

With nothing left to ask, mister Nez excused himself from the room. And before he left, he turned back one last time.

"Just call out to us if you need something, we'd be up the roofs," he said gesturing a finger above.

"Yes, sir. I will. Thank you very much."

"Good. And hey. Who knows whether some of your friends will be here too? Or you're parents, guardian. That would make for a happy dream right?" mister Nez remarked with a smile, freezing me on my spot.

Still he paused and added, "Oof. Was I offmark? Forget it then. Sorry. Rest, ok? Rest."

With quick nods, I watched mister Nez's figure disappear. But his words stuck in my my mind deeply. Mirroring the sudden unease lodged in my chest. Sort of a realization? Or a reminder?

I shook that feeling of unease with a huff. Thinking bad things isn't gonna be how I'd end my day today. Rather than that, food! I cheered myself. My eyes hooking the yellow figure hidden underneath that cloth.

Closing the door, I went for the ragbag and did something much, much exciting! I took a seat on the desk and laid out all of the banana that was left. Then I ate it all as he had told me to, taking all my time. Yum! Something much better than think about my unease.

After that, I went for the magical grey orb and fiddled around with it. Humming curiously and nodding to myself as the temperature changed from each dots. I settled for dot number three amongst the five options. The heat around slowly abated and some coldness returned. Not in a very uncomfortable way but felt nice for a sleep since the bed had a thick blanket. I cheered myself. Magic!

But as that was, my mind still shifted back to what mister Nez said. I looked at the bed, found its color something beyond just the softness and fragrance of it. The novel experience it would bring me.

I dusted my shirt and pants and hesitantly laid on the mattress, my eyes securing seconds of darkness from the comfort that coursed on my back.

I had nothing to do but rest more.

Tonight, tomorrow, then beyond the days.

But not now. With my eyes still closed, I breathed deep and emptied my mind, letting no particular thoughts to come in. Simply anything. Fragmented thoughts just to prepare myself to what I left at the back of my mind.

I opened my eyes and the orphanage briefly blinked into memory. I could rest. I could eat. I could think and giggle to myself.

But I have to still think. Assess here on out what would happen. I knew I shouldn't escape my thoughts. It would get worse, becoming something I'll be burdened with. So I heaved in a final lasting breath and decided to coalesce my unease into something I could dismantle.

So what should I do. Try to find back and return? Return for what? The ashes? See how someone might have survived?

I blinked again and considered for a moment. I knew exactly the answer for that. If the Northers had come, then an orphanage was just a stepping stone for their mounts. Surely by now, even crumbling pieces is a rarity by itself. Books, metals, woods, bodies. Everything else greeting themselves in the world of ashes. Except for me. I'm alive!

"Ha ha ha!" I whispered a... chuckle to myself.

For a moment I paused at that meaning, trying to inspect what that entails.

I'm alive. No headsmaid. No orphanage. No war. No work. No impending doom. Nothing. Neither brothers to talk to.

And what would be the point of me returning? To gloat? Relish how beautiful the structure was in gray? Relish how I could move about each burned ground without worry? Find anyone who had come alive? Find someone who became like me?

I doubted if I'd still want to do that. Never even crossing into my intentions now that I'm far away from that place. I wanted to believe mine was a special case. That I was the only that was alive. But then faces of my fellow brothers and sisters flashed in my mind. Their determination mirroring mine. Their eyes speaking how they too could have this. Because I wasn't the only one that wanted to live. To learn magic. To rest freely. To eat, drink, sleep, imagine. To everything else.

I wasn't special. They could have this too. They should be alive!

I shook my head, banishing such thoughts. They shouldn't be. They wouldn't be. They should remain there. Dead. Burned. I felt my heart twist. It hurt. Of how I thought of them. How I disregarded them. For a moment, I saw myself bowing in apology at them in my mind. Wanting to say sorry. Wanting to speak of where they are.

But again, I shook my head. If they lived... then what about them? The headsmaid? The mages? Those... people?

Just because we wanted to live, just because we dreamed, just because I thought it'd be that way, would it really be us who just came alive. We... we weren't special. Because if we lived, they too must be alive.

I shuddered, then felt my heart beat faster before it wove my worry in my forehead. What if they really were here? What should I do? How could I—

Ethered Town

I jolted, finding myself staring out of the window glass. My eyes widened little. The heaviness on my chest stretched. Reaching firmly towards my eyes. I felt it go hot. The words that should have been blurred still ever clear in my eyes.

Ethered Town

There it still exist. Clear and with its promise to me. I willed more.

Book of Spells:

Mana Manipulation • Lvl 7

Candlelight [Derived Spell] • Lvl 5

Blue-embered Dagger • Lvl 0

Adaptive Flame • Lvl 0

Then more. Of that Amalgamation. Class. Name. Origin Magic.

I wiped my eyes. Chuckled to myself. I have something now. I inspected the words again. One by one. I've read them already. Knew of what they were. Will know of what they are more. Still, the images of the memories in my mind helped me clear myself. So I stared at it and mused. Imagined.

The amalgamation, the class, the spells. Maybe I'd be able to create something way way better that could help me fend them off. Explode them. Send them to that creepy crypt and hope it would revive them back to that untouched land. Then wish that they'd fall in the lairs of the Northers. Then die again. And again. And again.

I felt something within me twist. As if coiling with happiness at that mere thought. But should I really think of that? I don't want to. Not like that. I wouldn't wish to become like them. And I wouldn't be like them.

My scars gave me a reminder of what I shouldn't be. The air I breathed washed over me with clarity. It was warm. Like living should be. Then I stared again for the words, and ever felt so full in me.

I am me, will always be me. If they come alive, I have something to stand myself for. I will magic them. And I knew my brothers and sisters would have thought the same. They too were alive.

We all are alive.

That rumination brought my whole mind to sharpened edge. To a degree that I forgot a breath. To something unexplainably greater. Then I felt it. The invisible shard in my chest battled something within. Accompanied by the warmth that suddenly filled my whole body.

Something stirred within me. Odd, new, but never unwanted for it fulfilled me. For it shredded my confusion even though I couldn't have easily washed it away back then.

That warmth surged like a wildfire. It coursed to my chest in need to be released. Finding a medium. But pain it wasn't.

And without even thinking, my arms lifted and blue fire licked the room alive. Banishing the familiar red color of the red orb that once homed the ever so familiar candles. It gently cleared my eyes to a new hue. It warmed me from my hands first. Before it molded my mind steeled. Cleared as any fair weather there is. It broke beyond just the promise I held and thought of it. No longer was it something to fend only monsters. It was beyond that now.

I felt relief. Protected.

The minute felt like an eternity. As if I've seen the greatest feeling I could ever have. To be alive. To fear nothing. To feel something. And I did. Finally, the remnants of the burden I carried in my chest ebbed away. I was freed of myself. Of my worries. There are still that remained, but I knew exactly what to do now.

I've got magic. All I had to do was believe.

That moment lasted satisfyingly as the spell faded. Making me out of breath. Ensured. And hopeful. Fulfilled.

I tugged a shallow but reassured smile.

Look where I am! Far away from the place that had killed me. I got freedom. That was all that I had wanted. Seemingly now surrounding me. The people here have been so good. So... free. So magical. That too perhaps would be soon within me. It is already within me. I smiled further, stretching a curve that lingered longer like no other times had. It slightly faded as I licked my lips.

Then food. I have food now, some banana that a kind mythical person has gifted me and the others would too tomorrow. And then the meal. Three meals a day. He didn't say, but I knew. That's how meal goes. For morning, for lunch, and for dinner. Was that a complete set? I don't know, but surely, it was more than enough for me. To boot it—

Fruits. There were apples, bananas, watermelons and many more. He said. Or did he? The trees said they would! Still. It was something we could only enjoy if we had managed to find trees that bore such and possibly steal it. Even then, we split it ourselves, which meant it could only go as far as make me long for it after each bite. Here, they come in quantity that I could eat for the whole day. Look at the banana peels! So much that I can even skip and save the meals for another day! And the math for that is easy. Just eat the fruits as my meal and I'd be having full, free meals for two weeks!

I sighed in relief and completely felt myself sank into the mattress. As if I have not felt the true capacity of its comfort. As if only now after the weight on my chest abated did I sank deeper. Much further that it enveloped my entirety and mind to more than what comfort it could ever do. Then slowly, I was at ease.

I was alive. More than alive. And my arms and legs and belly and my cheek would bulge with life too with what's to come. Perhaps I'd look as healthy as mister Orden. As tall as mister Virel.

I paused as I stared at the ceiling. The wood more than a welcome sight as I bid my time away watching the machination of the line that held the wood together. Fine, straight, and parallel lines. I didn't think I would have this moment for myself. And more than that—

I lifted my feet as high as possible and forcefully cascaded it against the air, meeting the soft mattress that my legs bounced back above again, taking me along a gentle ride of wavy bobs.

"Hahaha." So. Much. Fun. So much comfort. The most exalted comfy bed. The inviting cool and floral-scented pillows—bouncy too.

I had them now. The pinnacle of sleep inducers.

I felt alive again. And for the rest of the night I'd continue to reason things around me, repeating that thought. Over and over again. To make that word concrete and not as abstract. To not doubt it. I'll continue thinking of it to have it ingrained in my mind. That the events I had experienced was not an imagination, even if I lacked the imagination of something as sensory as everything had been. Something that my mind couldn't even fathom.

All was real.

And the spiders, the crypt, the faded people, the legendary elves.

So much to imagine that I believe it really wasn't a halted dream. That it wasn't taunting me to a haunting scenario. Waiting to pull the strings at the last moments.

Hey, child. Come, come. Mother dear has apples! The sweet taste would bring you joy. And oh! I've got honey, honey~! Testing taste that truly trash 'taples. Now come here, child! Eat and dear mother would lull you a beautiful song.

It wasn't that children story, where an old wrinkly lady had a manic grin on her face, her eyes lit up with greed as it traced the entirety of the child, as if her eyes were sparkling—bedazzled. Only for that beautiful sparkle be outshined by the crone's slipping saliva.

It wasn't that. A tempting story where all ended up a lie. Mine was more than what I believed it was. Everything is real.

Elves, spiders, crypt, and magic. All wonders, fear, uncertainty, and hope—they existed. And that meant something more to learn. To see. Unhindered with nothing but my imagination.

I am alive. No longer convinced but is.

I sank further on the bed and enjoyed its soft and snuggling attempts. Welcoming it with sighs and hums that rang new to my ears. The fruits had not come yet, and only on the days to come would I taste the promise of it all. But I really couldn't help but imagine how tasty it was.

An orange, a soft comfy bed. Me lying draped with another soft and warm blanket as I cast magic one after the other. All the while as I eat. That would be a great way to sleep—or rest! And have it paired with the murmured and gentle wind and I'd be a lost cause tempted to a dream no longer hindered. No one to wake me or nudge me.

So I looked for the window, and open it I did. No wind immediately came, but the cool stale air was of another consolation. A different yet sleep-inducing feeling that I treasured. It had not come by so often back then. Working and living in the plains had its bucketfuls of share of arid air. Only the sweat that never faded the cold sensation I felt. Nights and morning could have this there, but this one was way, way better than anything before.

So I had my mouth open wide. Inhaling gulps of mint, exhaling buckets of hot. My head moving sidewards, back and forth as if wanting every cool air settle into my mouth. Into my body. Eaten, chewed—anything I can do. Just to devour it and take it all back to sleep. To possibly relish it even in my dreams.

I felt silly, an action I'd have scratched my head at if a brother of mine had found out what I was doing. One I would have said: Ah no, nothing. I was yawning too much. And, aha? Maybe a good way to have a nice focus? The passing breeze here felt really nice. And it's gone.

But I was alone, no one to hamper such thoughts. And I wanted it silly, so I did!

Then the breeze finally passed by, and I halted at that as I groaned on its tracing fingers. Fluttering my hair. Tingling my skin. Plunging deep into the recesses of my being. Bringing more than frosty air. It raced further into my scalp that I would have wanted to move the bed and kept the windows opened throughout the night. Just to enjoy its caresses.

But I couldn't, I know. It was cold, and getting sick isn't one of things I wanted to start. And I wouldn't even need it! I looked at the grey orb and knew exactly what to do with it later on.

But besides that, lest I'd wanted scavenged by insects and mosquitoes, leaving the window open would be a silly mistake. Small trees were all over the place here, reaching only as far as the roofs that would be a point of hesitation whether plentiful of insects were lying in ambush. But then there were grasses, bushes, flowers. Three additionals now a warning of their own as they covered the ground halfway towards the wall, a sheet of grass separating the wonderful wall.

Even then, getting fascinated at the surroundings won't be an issue. Stitch those four words together and the wallyard had a definition; it was a garden. Just like the flowerwalls. A sight more beautiful when casted by the nightlights. A different splendor when it had been subjected to the fiery kisses of the sunlight. This felt calming, soothing. It felt grounded. As if nothing was in store for me except for continued fascination before rest drags me away.

And surely, the walls must have something to repel bugs? It must have always been accompanied by people who brought blankets to sleep away in this place in the fair weather of morning or the afternoon. Some fruits, honeyed teas, and everything there is! So surely, they wouldn't have bugs that just bite over and over again, right? This is a garden!

I ran for the other the window and immediately found that not only this wallyard had such features. The backyard of the houses going downhill had it too. It stretched far like a chain of unending gardens until small lush trees covered what was beyond. And they were no normal trees.

Copse of fruit-bearing trees deterred my curiosity. Some had their trees pruned with detail I couldn't help but appreciate. They had nice silhouettes of something... artful, during the night. While some bore fruit that I couldn't help but lick my lips at, but not to gulp at when saliva is all that would slide down. I should have left some bananas and savored it by this window. I licked my lips again and felt no regret at all. And narrowing a look at the silhouetted round fruit, the taste of banana was gulped down once again.

If that wasn't enough, I'd even had my right eye closed and my hands outstretched as if snipping each fruits with my fingers. Then I'd gobble it up only to return for more!

My eyes wandered around, and confirmed that filling up my belly wouldn't really be an issue. Lots of them were really growing up fruits at their backyards. I think. Varied-shaped fruits I didn't even know hung so beautifully. So tempting even without seeing the vibrant colors it certainly has. As if it was just waiting for me to offer wide-open hands—or a big blanket stretched at its limits as I sprawled it over the meadow. Gently urging them with consolations to jump at it as I told them to.

Come, come. Mother dear is here! And honey, oh! Bring some honey down!

I'd chant. But I knew that even without my urges, their big and swaying figures would even suggest that they'd voluntarily unlatch themselves from the trees, offering me all that I'd need—then all that I'd want. Catering me for days, even weeks. Or months.

What a rich town.

I smiled and couldn't help but chew another banana and—now—an apple instead of orange, gulping shallow air and bland savoury fluid; the taste of banana a shadow of what's left on my tongue. Tomorrow I'll have something with flavor. For now, some nice sleep with the comfy bed. I wonder if in this place, the window could be left open. Something to ask about.

I had no papers to jot that thought, but that wouldn't slip off my mind. Tomorrow was a big, big day. No work to worry about.

I closed the window and carefully fiddled the grey orb. Then I began to venture sleep. Settling myself to a comfortable position, edging deep the very fluffy bed. I still have a lot to think about. My initial worries now subdued to a more questioning approach. Of how I'd be going on about now. How I should live? If magic can really be reached as easily as I believed? As I've been told. Of what work I should do? What would really happen to me?

Those were the big pictures waiting to be painted. And then the earlier thoughts I knew would come back for me again. But that's for tomorrow, and for the coming days. I halted any more rumination and remembered something that I've always applied to any situation.

How did I carry buckets of rocks then? My gaze that was back tracing the wooden ceiling did nothing to absolve me of my thoughts. But a simple comparison to what had been a problem to me made it simple. The problem wasn't a mountain of rocks. Even if it wasn't, even if the whole really is simply by itself, a big boulder is something that can still be broken. I'd just have to shred it to equal graspable pieces. And like how I've ferried those buckets, I'd just liken this situation to that.

One rock in a bucket. Two bucket at a time.