[ARC 10: BEST FRIENDS]

[January 12th, Sunday, 2020]

The day before spring classes started, Mia was aghast to find Serena on the couch with a textbook. "You haven't even started reading yet?!"

"Huh? Classes start next week, don't they -"

" - they start -tomorrow-." panted Mia, and the protégé went horrified.

"… ah, fuck. This is even worse than the Greek." muttered Serena, skimming through the pages. "Wait, that's why I can't use Blackburn for money?"

Mia sighed and sat next to her. "Which section are you on?"

"'Revenant Crash of the 1970s.' It says, um… here."

"After… ah. Yes." said Mia. "'Revenants first began appearing in the early 1950s, after Cold War nuclear testing inadvertently created a new form of bacteria - Viscera exspiravit. Due to the scale of tests conducted, this form of bacteria infected nearly all of the human population by the 1970s, and recent census data across all continents has not found a single human who is not a carrier for Viscera exspiravit.

However, the colony only activates in the presence of Volgari proteins, secreted by the heart of those who possess certain genetic mutations.'"

"Why are you reading this all out?"

"Worldbuilding." chimed Mia, relevantly. "'Initially, the relative infrequency of Revenants - estimated now at two in every million - left governments slow to react on regulation. Crafty entrepreneurs attempted to find Revenants that proved useful in the production process. One case, Magdalene Therapeutics v The U.S., found that a company for aphrodisiac candles had a Revenant host involved in their production process - giving a factual basis for the claim 'Smells so good, you'll need a new pair of pants.'

This quickly led to debate over fair trade and fair competition, and many cases were soon brought across countries worldwide. Many plaintiffs argued that a Revenant host in the production of certain metals or minerals would be too unfair of an advantage, and lead to the death of small businesses.'"

"Like Yuruko."

"Or you. 'Adopted in 1982, the Revenant Trade Agreement forbids the use of Revenants in goods meant for sale under threat of sanctions, and Urasaria Academy was established shortly after. (That's where you attend!)'"

"I hate when they try to be relatable."

"...still." said Mia, wagging her finger. "You should have read this earlier."

She decided not to warn Serena of the exam that Friday.

◆◆◆

Friday morning, Jeanne woke up early and ran in to two women on the street.

"Uh. What are you two doing?"

"Shhh." grinned Marisa, tearing another chunk out of Boudoir, dress regrowing steadily, adding to the massive tube trailing out of Mia's home.

"We're making something for Serena." whispered Mia.

"Have fun." laughed Jeanne, setting up the street, swearing she heard squealing from Samuel's house as she passed by. A tall ramp was slanted up to the roof of the second-year building. She walked to the first-year's and up the hall in to her new room, where the walls dripped like honey, and only the floor was left.

She turned as Nuiko entered, holding a jar of honey.

"Got it?" said Jeanne, and Nuiko nodded, swelling the jar.

She hoped Maria would like it.

◆◆◆

Serena woke up. She rose out of bed -

- and stepped on a plush serpent's tail, enormous and trailing out of her room. A note was on the tip.

'Follow Mizuchi.'

"…oh boy." muttered Serena. She stepped over the enormous Boudoir-made animal, its titanic tail filling the hallway, trailing through the kitchen, out the front door, over the sidewalk -

" - how - fucking long is this?" she sputtered, stepping out to the street -

- and down the street, the Mizuchi replica still slithered, hundreds&hundreds of feet down the sidewalk, up to the second-year building on the horizon -

" - SERENA-DA!" shouted a voice behind; she shrieked and turned -

- and there stood the scientist-turned-vampire, wearing a yellow jacket, yellow pants with hearts on the knees and turned-up boots. Her hair, spiked and yellow, green lipstick.

"You - " - Serena panted - " - why are you dressed up as Dio?"

"I REJECTED MY HUMANITY, SERENA!" shouted Yuruko, a stone mask forming in her hands as she made her way past. "Also, because there hasn't been a female main villain yet. So, y'know."

"That - well, sure, but - why are you dressed up?"

"Ooo. Did Mia not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Combat exam today." She turned, and the vampire rose in her tone. "Are you seriously going to keep struggling?"

"Oh god." groaned Serena, already knowing the reference to come.

"Even human effort has its limits. No matter how hard you train in the - Revenant - it's - MUDA! MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA -"

" - I get the ref-"

"-MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAAAAAA! COULD A MONKEY FIGHT A MAN?!"

The two paused.

"… You know." mumbled Yuruko. "That line's kinda weird, 'cause he does send a monkey to fight them in part 3."

With a laugh, the two kissed.

"Good luck, though." chimed Yuruko. "I can't wait to see the look on Tuyuan's face."

The two separated, and Serena followed the serpent up the street and in to the second-year building. The head leaned against one of the sideroom doors, and when Serena finally stepped inside, the sight within was no less absurd.

"Why do you have a bald cap on?"

"Come, Diet Saya!" grunted Mia at the other end, her best impression of Akira's voice. "You're not nearly as pacifist as she was - are you?"

"I mean, I guess not." shrugged Serena.

And their gaze left no more words to be shared. A confused haze clouded Serena's eyes as she rushed forward, fog outstretched, tower shield filling her tentacle's grip as she surged -

- and a pillar of orange fire melted her shield; she swept with the speed of fog back -

- just in time for a frozen projectile to pierce her chest and out her back. She tore it out in a shower of blood, fog refilling her wounds, and as another icicle sought her neck -

- the next scene was instant.

Blackburn's fog filled her jacket as she turned, pulling the hood over -

- and in to the tungsten within smashed the frozen missiles, shattering them open as they fell.

"I'm sorry for this, Saya Zero!" laughed Mia at the other end -

- and a pillar of orange flame claimed Serena's entire jacket; but she grinned as she turned, leather charred to ash, tungsten plating surviving underneath.

"Twice the melting point of steel." chimed Serena, starting her rush again, fifty feet separating her and her -

" - do you really think you can stand against Worldwide in close-range, Saya Low-Sugar?" said Mia, and as Serena came within range, her sword formed to life -

- and Mia shrieked involuntarily as the floor underneath buckled and collapsed, falling in to the sudden hole filled with water; a hasty swarm of ice scarabs below formed a new platform, just in time for -

- a tendril of black fog flew in to Mia's lips; her mouth filled with knives, and as she swept back and away -

" - Wfffgfffd!"

- Serena saw with aghast eyes her metal volley turn molten on Mia's tongue; and the mentor spat the liquid blades out.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Elemental immunity, Saya Fresca." chimed the lava-drinker, relevantly. She laughed as she rushed forward, sword outstretched, and Serena backed away -

- direct in to a wall of unmeltable ice. Mia's sword cleaved her chest open in a shower of crimson, and in a second sweep seeking her tungsten jacket -

- her sword burst in to white flames, and Serena shrieked as her armor started to melt, desperate streams of fog repairing the melting tungsten -

- and the next scene was instant. A rip of her cup out, desperate fog filling it with thick gray liquid, and she threw it in Mia's face, blinding her temporarily -

" - really, Saya No-Trans-Fat - I - er - I mean -"

- Serena laughed and swept to the side, her mentor swinging blind as she rushed to the back of the room. Mia turned and spun, face and eyes covered in gray, and as a swarm of water showered her visage -

- the hydraulic concrete hardened, encasing her nostrils and head within. Her hands shot to her face, attempting desperately to peel off the encapsulating prison -

- and Serena was among her with a rush and a gigantic bound. Streams of fog flew underneath the concrete, and as the inner prison turned acidic -

- a pillar of white flame claimed Mia's body, vaporizing in an instant both prison and acid -

" - god - fucking - Blackburn!" shouted Serena, and in the next instant -

- a stream of black fog flew in to a pillar of flame -

- and filled it with fluoroantimonic acid.

'Oh fuck I should not have done -'

- the room began to fill with gas. The two combatants hacked and coughed, skin suddenly corroding and burning; Serena swept away -

' - how do I neutralize fuck fuck fuck -'

"W-W-W-W -" gagged Mia, and she fell limp.

With the fervor of a widowed protégé, Serena ran over to her, streams of black fog filling the foul vapors with hexafluorine, clear liquid dripping neutralized to the floor.

She winced as she hooked her arm&tentacle underneath, knowing her next stop.

◆◆◆

Tuyuan arrived at the back wall outside the second-year building. A bullseye was painted on the ground.

"Step… here?" he muttered, shrugging as he stepped inside -

"ROOOOAAAD-ROLLER-DA!" shouted a familiar voice above, and as he turned -

- falling with the speed of time above, was roadroller-da, the chemist-turned-vampire beating ferociously atop, and as it landed direct on him -

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA -" - she panted, vampiric endurance not in her lungs - "- MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA DAMEE - DAM - DAM - EW - DAMU MUDAMUDA MUDA MUDA! I've - finally done it! I've dealt with the - uh, whatever your last name is - lineage -"

- but her lips pinched as she felt no resistance underneath.

"… Ah, fuck." she muttered, standing atop her lofty porch. "Don't tell me you died."

She shook her head, and as she made to move -

" - why - why can't I m-move?!"

- and behind her rose Tuyuan out of the steamroller, knife-in-hand; his grip shot to her neck, and as he readied to stab her in the back -

- a sweep of her hands behind, and Medicinal turned the knife liquid.

"…of course." groaned Tuyuan. "I flicked sections of the - roadroller - ethereal. Enough to get out and trap your boots in it."

"Coolio." chimed Yuruko.

A flick of Ethereal's lever, and the two fell to the ground, stepping out of the ghastly steamroller. A second flick turned it corporeal.

"We're good, then?" said Tuyuan. "Pass?"

"Yep. Gotta go return this to the place I stole it from."

◆◆◆

Jake had been unlucky enough to be assigned Kirihara's protégé, having graduated from Lanacca's highschool a year prior. He stepped in to Jeanne's prepared sideroom, and in the next instant -

- Carve's blade spun down his right arm -

" - Storm-Force-Five." he grunted -

- and gusts of wind blasted the blade away, Kirihara on the other end, eyes on her protégé.

"Surprise attack -"

" - you're such a fucking bitch, Christ." groaned Jake. "Can't even let me get a fucking foot in the door before -"

" - show some more respect, fucking scrotum-barely-dropped dipshit -"

" - or what, you'll attack me again? Fuck off. I'll take the F."

He stepped out; with a grunt, Kirihara rushed in pursuit, and as she reached the open door -

- gusts of wind blasted the door in to her face and staggered her back, unseen winds tearing the door in to a hundred shards -

- and in to her chest went each -

" - Carve!" she shouted, and in the next instant -

- an alarm filled the building. She stomped and cursed, her sadism forced short-lived, already hearing the others evacuating.

"Fucking great."

◆◆◆

Fortunately, Tiffany had taken one of the first-year siderooms and asked Rochelle to meet her there. The femme knew the effect she had on the butch.

"Man." laughed Rochelle, stepping in late. "You hear that alarm?"

"Yeah." said Tiffany on the other end, Contagion's walnut in her right hand. "Guess someone - must've done something to the second-year building, right?"

"Think so." grinned Rochelle, stepping back against the wall, hands in her pockets. "Still. Probably should've set up some more stuff for you, but…" She shrugged. "It'll be good minimal practice, right?"

"Yeah." laughed Tiffany. "Ready?"

"Ready."

"Contagion." muttered Tiffany, holding its walnut down, and in the next instant -

- she threw it to the floor, seed burrowing within as she started her rush forward, Rochelle's tail taut at the other end -

- and the floor began to collapse underneath her mentor, sections suddenly buckling inward -

- and a swift sweep of Twinfast's tail below froze an air platform for Rochelle as she stood.

"Good, good." she chimed, hoping to get on Tiffany's better side; below, a rumbling began -

- and a dozen spikes grew out of the floor, shooting with the speed of flooring towards Rochelle -

- and smashed in to a shield of air ahead of her, screws keeping the air taut, another sweep trapping the spikes to the shield as she stood again, nodding. Ahead, Contagion's seed reappeared back in Tiffany's hand, and as she threw it back to the wall -

- Rochelle pretended not to notice as the spikes grew from the wall at her back -

- and tapped her neck in the next instant, leaving a smiling and proud Tiffany.

"Got it." she chimed, and Rochelle laughed and nodded.

"Yeah. Good job. Let's head out."

◆◆◆

"Man. How'd you manage that?" grinned Marisa, stood over a still-unconscious Mia with Saya and Serena, their wounds healed.

"I used a super strong acid." she winced. "She had - uh, I filled one of her fires with it, and it turned in to gas."

"Genesis is currently neutralizing it, after the building was evacuated." said Saya, wagging her tattoo needle. "You've become very strong with Blackburn."

"…nnn…" groaned Mia, starting to stir. "… Saya… Diet…"

Saya nodded, took a cup from a nearby stand and handed it to Serena. "She requires a diet soda. Would you like to do the honors?"

"Um, I don't think she's - nevermind." muttered Diet Saya, filling the cup with Serena-brand soda. She put it gently to Mia's lips, and as the now-conscious mentor took a sip -

" - oh god -" she gagged - " - that's fucking horrific -"

- the three laughed, and Saya wagged her needle again. "You still have much to learn, Miss -"

- her phone rang, and she took it.

"Yes? … Yes. The cake will say - 'To my one true love. I hope I can spend the rest of my life with you.' Yes - for Luna. L - U - N - A. Yes. … Thank you."

She smiled and hungup, leaving a grinning Marisa.

"Finally dating, huh?"

Saya's cheeks filled. "W-What? We - we are not dating."

Marisa blinked at her. As if on cue, in came Luna, four bowls of oatmeal in tow.

"Um. I have the day's meals prepared, Saya."

The medic nodded. "Thank you, my little Luna. I love you."

"I love you too."

Marisa decided not to press the issue.

"… man." mumbled Serena. "At least mine makes sense."