It turns out that my saviors name is Sir Walter and he isn't a bad guy. Sure he's a little bit pompous, and a bit stuck up, and he's always speaking in that holier than thou art kind of voice. But when you really get down to it. I hate him, I hate his fucking guts. I truly loathe this man, some would say I'm envious, and they are probably right. I mean he's tall, handsome, strong, everything I want to be really. Other people would be able to get past this and realize that he's a pretty cool guy. Not me, I'm not that big of a man.

His men returned earlier, we've been on the road all day and it's PAINFUL. Riding horses seems pretty cool in the movies, but in real life it's downright painful. Sure, some of you would call me spoiled, and I would again have to agree with you. They recovered a fair amount of gold, and of course, I claimed a good portion of it for myself. I claimed 4 gold pieces and was nice enough to give the knights 1 of them. The knights all seem like pretty good chaps, but Sir Walter is a bit too preachy for me.

He's always giving me advice and trying to push me in the right direction. It was fine at first, but I've started repeating everything he's said in an annoying whiny voice in my head. Place your foot in the stirrups by tipping your heels *mimes in head. Make sure to keep proper posture or you'll hurt your back *mimes again*. DUCK, ARCHERS *mimes, wait, what*. Fuck me.

I jump right into action, and in the manliest way possible, I hit the dirt. Arrows are flying everywhere, but the armored knights seem to be brushing most of them off. Whoever decided to shoot at a bunch of armored knights seem to only be hitting the horses, almost as if they *something comes flying my way*. GET THE FUCK AWAY, I scream at the top of my lungs and bolt in the opposite direction, *BOOM*. Not a moment too soon either, as I suspected it was a bomb and it seems like most of the knights weren't smart enough to get away. It's just me, Walter, and a few stragglers. The rest of the men are torn apart by the explosion.

As my ears start to ring I try to gather my thoughts. THINK THINK THINK. Fuck, it's no use, the ringing in my ears is too intense, not to mention I'm still sore from my beating. I'll just have to wing it. SCATTER, I scream. For once they seem to listen to me. 2 men head straight down the road, 2 head to the west, and me and Walter go east. Time to get the fuck out of dodge! Again.