Dining has always had it's place in culture as a social event. People from all around the world gather together to break bread and settle their differences. Whether you are gathered around the fire to share smores or gathered around to fuck whor- *ahem* spend time with ladies of the night. Drinks are a common staple at such events. The drink tends to vary from culture to culture, but the fact remains the same. People love an excuse to get drunk, eat some food, and party.

As I slowly and reluctancly wake up, I turn towards what remains of the fire. Sir Walter is curled up next to it and out of the corner of my eye I catch some movement. Shit, looked like a person, alright, play it cool, moving quickly will only alert them. As I'm having this thought I feel something sharp poke me in the side. Well, fuck me, they know I'm awake and have taken actions to stop me from doing anything.

A million thoughts rush through my head, my life doesn't flash before my eyes or anything but close enough. Mainly I see all my dreams of killing and maiming bastards who've wronged me in the based go up in smoke. I curse myself for being so damn careless, fucking again. I should have made some many crystals and set up a barrier or something. Alright, first chance I get I'll over-power this son of a bitch with his pointy stick and burn his god-damned face off.

Stay quiet and come with me the a gruff voice says. Like a smart man I listen and slowly walk in the direction I'm prodded. Psst, you don't have to poke me with that thing, I say. Hopefully I can disarm them with words and then with magic or something. My fire magic isn't that impressive, but it burns up close. As I'm being prodded along I come up with a plan. Alright, it is pretty dark, lets try and fake them out. I'll pretend to trip and on the way down I'll make some fire and burn this asshole. Implementing plan now, I walk along for a bit making sure to drag my feet a bit, then I pretend to fall forward. On the way down I spin around, gather my mana, light the fire and get ready to burn this dumb thug and what? Huh, I wasn't expecting tits or a pretty elven face. An elf, in the woods, makes sense.

She seems as startled as I am, apparently magic really is rare here. At first she seems like she doesn't know what to do and then she finally comes to a conclusion, unluckily for me. She quickly puts the spear she's holding under my throat and says, keep going. Well, fuck me, plan A is out the window. Alright, lets see here taken by an attractive, big titted elf. I'm pretty sure I've had fantasies about this sort of thing. Though I doubt this will be anything like that. What to do now, ahh, yes, I know what I'll do. I'll annoy her to death, my specialty.

So, where are we going? She responds by poking me in the ass with a spear. Alright, conversation isn't on the table, or maybe she doesn't speak the language very well. So, do you understand me? I ask. She pokes me in the ass with the spear again. Hmm, maybe I should try something else. I'm just going over my idea of throwing my bomb and making a barrier to protect myself, but the idea is flawed at best. I've never been that great under pressure and I've never made a barrier while on the move before. I never get the chance though, right as I'm trying to psyche myself up into blowing this big titted bitch to smithereens we reach our destination. Yay, a village, maybe they'll give me a quick death at least. I mean, villages are semi-civilized right?