《New Eden》Chapter 41
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Jared and Ian were setting up their tents for yet another cold, silent night around their fire, when Ian’s voice finally broke the silence, speaking back over his shoulder to Jared, “What?”
Jared glanced up from preparing his own tent in response, “What, what?” he asked.
“Didn’t you just say something?” Ian answered, finally turning back to face him.
“Um, no?” Jared returned, with a crease of the brow.
“I just heard you…” Ian began his denial, only to be stopped mid-sentence as he looked around the dark woods surrounding them, “It wasn’t you.” he breathed the words quietly, his hand already having moved to one of his weapons.
“What wasn’t me?” Jared asked, his voice automatically dropping to meet Ian’s volume.
“There.” Ian pointed out, “There it was again. Are you not hearing that?” he asked Jared in the same loud whisper, his eyes scanning the woods, one of his guns clasped tightly in his hand.
“I suppose, if I said, ‘hearing what,’ that would be an answer?” Jared stated slowly, his volume dropping further as he also moved a hand to the knife at his side, his eyes scanning the woods as well.
Then Ian just scoffed, only loosening his grip on the gun slightly, “Ok, either I’m losing it, or animals are talking, without you hearing them, of course.” he shook his head at his own words, “Ok, so I’m losing it. Just what we need.” he grumbled.
Jared furrowed his brow further, “What exactly did you hear?” he asked worriedly, not yet letting his own guard down.
“I thought I heard a fucking voice. But, apparently, cold and thin air, and lack of food have all made me start hallucinating. This is just great.” Ian muttered with a shake of his head.
“A voice?” Jared repeated, seeming only slightly less shocked than Ian, slightly.
“Yeah, I think I need some sleep, badly.” Ian mumbled again.
“A voice saying what?” Jared continued the conversation as Ian moved to turn back toward his tent again.
“Does it matter?” Ian scoffed.
“Maybe?” Jared shrugged slightly, his eyes still moving around the woods.
“So, you’re more concerned with what I heard the voice saying, than the fact that I heard a voice, at all?” Ian was then the one who raised his brow, “On an abandoned planet?” he had to add for weight.
Jared just swallowed slightly as he moved his eyes back to Ian, “Well, remember, we are looking for survivors, right?” Jared offered, rather than going into any other reason he might have had for indulging the possibility that maybe the four of them weren’t alone on that planet, after all, as the visions he saw of this mystery person, were the most vague out of them all.
Ian just shook his head, “I think we’re both pretty sure there aren’t any survivors by now, aren’t we?” he then shook his head, “Then there’s the fact that you didn’t hear anything. So, that brings us back to the ‘Ian just really needs his sleep’ theory.” seeing that Jared seemed unsatisfied by his answer, he let out a long breath, and added, “I thought I heard someone say my name, ok?”
“Your name?” Jared repeated.
“Ok, what the fuck, I just heard it again, goddammit.” Ian complained as he looked around again.
“So, the voice knows you?” Jared pointed out.
“Well it’s in my fucking head. It should!” Ian complained, shaking his head at the fact that the conversation was even still going on.
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“But, do you know it?” Jared continued with all seriousness.
Ian scoffed again, “Yeah, I just failed to mention the little friend in my head for the last four months.” he returned sarcastically, “And shut up!” he added more loudly as he looked up at the sky while issuing the order, rather than at Jared, who continued to center a look on Ian that was more like the look he’d wear while looking at a science experiment.
“Does the voice sound like anyone you know, I mean?” Jared continued, still speaking seriously rather than condescendingly.
“Are you fucking with me now, too, Jared?” Ian muttered.
“No, I’m being totally serious, honest.” Jared insisted, “Do you recognize the voice at all?” he asked again.
“I don’t know!” Ian complained, “I’ve only heard three voices for the last four months. Remember?”
“And…?” Jared prodded.
Ian shook his head, “I don’t know, I suppose it does kind of sound a little like…Kyle.” he finished, though his voice dropped a bit on the name as he and Jared met one another’s eyes again.
Jared took his own breath and nodded knowingly, “So, you’re really hearing the voice of someone who actually can get inside other people’s heads?” Jared rephrased for him.
“Shut up.” Ian mumbled again as he took a seat, pushing dark locks from his eyes.
“Well, the good news is, I think we can write off schizophrenia, for the moment.” Jared assured as he also sat.
“Great.” Ian scoffed again, “So why the hell is Kyle in my head? If something happened…” he just shook his head as he glanced back at Jared, who attempted not to allow too worried of a look, himself, right then.
“Just kind of relax, and be quiet, I’m sure he’s trying to say more. You just kind of gotta let yourself listen.”
“Relax? While someone else is in my head? Yeah, sounds simple enough.” Ian grumbled again.
“Ian.” Jared said with a slight scolding tone.
With a resigned sigh, Ian sat back against the tree behind him, shaking his head as he tried to listen, as Jared had suggested. After a few long moments of that silence, at least on the outside of his head, Ian finally sat back up again, his eyes cast downwards as he moved to go about getting a cup of the water they had brought with them from the last stream they had encountered.
“Well?” Jared asked as Ian got his drink.
“Well, what?” Ian asked, though his voice seemed more hoarse than before, almost as though trying to force emotion out of it.
“What did he want to tell you?” Jared asked the obvious question, forcing himself not to add the question about why it was Ian who Kyle had made contact with, rather than himself.
“Not him.” Ian took a slow sip, “Lili.”
“Lili?” Jared asked, seeming even more confused by that response, “Lili was in your head?”
Ian just swallowed an attempt at a sad smile, “No, he was delivering a message, for her.” he answered, though in a whisper.
Jared forced himself to try and decipher that for a moment before speaking up again, “Well, is she ok?”
“As ok as she’s been since we left.” Ian swallowed another sip of the water, his eyes still turned sadly down to the darkened ground below their feet.
“So, she is ok, though?” Jared repeated, trying to sound hopeful, despite the obvious sadness they both still felt about separating themselves from her.
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Ian sighed slightly, “If you must know, today’s my birthday. She wanted him to tell me happy birthday, if you can believe that.” Ian sniffled slightly, still refusing to make eye contact.
Jared’s eyes then moved downwards as well as he thought on the fact. He then couldn’t help speaking in his own near whisper, “I think Kyle was wrong about something else.” he managed, though his voice seemed to break with the words.
“No, it actually is my birthday, at least for a couple more hours.” Ian attempted lightness once again, as difficult as that was for any of them anymore.
The two were quiet for several more long moments as they each finished a drink before making the attempt to sleep again. Though, once Ian reached for the opening of his tent, Jared couldn’t remain silent any longer, “What’s gonna happen?” was his only hoarse statement, which caught Ian enough to stop what he was doing and turn back.
“Pardon me?” Ian asked, obviously thrown by such a question, never mind the fact of Jared being the one who was asking him such a thing, rather than the other way around.
Jared moved to take a seat in front of his own tent then, moving his hand through his own shaggy brown locks as he tried to find the words to elaborate on his question, “Assuming Lili, and the baby, assuming they both survive, what happens then?”
“The psychic is asking me what happens in the future. Ok, maybe you’re the one losing it.” Ian attempted to sound lighthearted, though it was difficult.
“I’m not asking you to predict the future.” Jared denied, forcing himself onward, “I’m asking you to tell me what will happen if we all somehow survive this birth? Especially if we don’t find the ship by then.”
Ian furrowed a brow as he also took a seat, “Odd, that kind of sounds like you’re asking me to…predict the future.” he repeated pointedly.
“I mean,” Jared began with a breath, “If Lili survives, if the baby survives, if we don’t find the ship, then what will you do? What will any of us do?”
Ian then looked further confused by the question, “In relation to…?”
Jared then let out another deep sigh, casting his eyes further downwards, “Lili.” was his simple answer.
“Ok…really not sure what the question is, Jar’.” Ian spoke haltingly, continuing to watch the younger man with skepticism.
“If she lives through this at all,” Jared began with another breath, “and if we don’t have the stuff on the ship to help us, still…Do we really wanna risk putting her through this all, all over again?” he finally asked in the same whisper.
Ian was a bit startled by that question, and quickly tried to hide his own reaction to the statement, “She’s not even two months along, and you’re already planning the second kid?”
Jared just shook his head dejectedly, “I didn’t even plan the first one. But still, I knew it was coming, and I made the mistake of telling Lili that it was, cause I, somehow, thought it would give her some hope, but…” another shake of his head, “I tried to do all I could to prevent the baby, but we all know pulling out doesn’t really assure a damn thing.” a deep sigh, “And I know that the two of you didn’t even know you needed to worry about it. But, I think, after Lili knew about the baby coming, she just sort of surrendered to fate. Even though it scared her to death. I think my vision convinced her it was inevitable.” he admitted sadly.
“You saying you think we actually could’ve prevented the pregnancy? If we all had known we needed to?” Ian repeated in the same quiet tone.
“I don’t know, honestly.” Jared swallowed again, “And I know there’s this whole other problem of carrying on our race and all that, but I don’t really care a whole lot about that part of it right now. What I mean is that, if we even get the chance, I know we could try and prevent it next time…assuming there even could be a next time.” he had to add.
Ian swallowed hard as he thought on the words, “So, you think we need to wrap it up in one of those latex gloves from the medical supplies, and just hope a rubber band holds it on, and that we never run out? Yeah, that all sounds just about as safe as ‘pulling out.’” Ian pointed out flatly.
Jared rubbed his eyes in the dim glow of the fire, “I know the obvious answer here is we all decide to never sleep with her again.” he scoffed, “But I also know how unrealistic that is, all things considered. After all, the first time she and I were ever with anyone at all, it was with each other, and it was actually completely without risk, that time, and it was…perfect.” he sniffled a bit, “I wanna take the high ground here and say I could do it, say that I could decide to never be with her like that again, but I know it’s bullshit. Especially if we are going to spend the rest of our lives here, together. And that’s not even taking into account the two of you, and your feelings about the idea at all…But we have to find some solution, some way. Cause I can’t let this happen to her again, at least not before we find the ship: Before we can at least try and help her survive it.”
“So, pulling out, makeshift condoms, or spending the next fifty years without sex?” Ian sighed, “Yeah, those all sound real safe, and appealing.” he scoffed, “So what’s our fourth choice, huh?”
Jared let out another sigh as he tried to muster the courage to ask his next question, “I never want her to be in any kind of pain, any more pain, that much I know for a fact.”
“Why do I hear a ‘but?’” Ian asked, though quietly.
“But, are you really bi?” Jared finally forced himself to spit out the question.
Ian was more than a little startled by that question as he shook his head with a smile that attempted to hide exactly how thrown he was by Jared’s words, “And a million questions just popped into my head, about why you’re suddenly asking me that, of all things.” Ian replied through his own almost nervous chuckle as he tried not to jump to one of those million conclusions the question wanted to push him to.
“Cause if you are, really, I need you to tell me something.” Jared forced himself onwards through a conversation he wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to start at all.
“All right, I’m gonna try real hard not to offer any guesses at why you’re asking me this, just yet.” he added, “But yes, I am.” he stated simply, “So, what is it you need me to tell you?” he asked with a raised brow.
Jared took a deep breath to steel himself before finally making some attempt at forming his question, after all, “I need you to tell me…” another breath, “how bad does it hurt, really?”
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