“... And she took someone else to prom, to boot! Boy, was I mad. And still itchy, thanks to her. Worst eighteenth birthday ever.”

I look over at the Mrs. She’s currently curled up on her side on the ground, her knees drawn up as close to her chin as possible. She’s gazing at the wall, her eyes red and unblinking.

Hey, at least the sobbing stopped.

The horse, which I’ve now fondly named Gimpie, gives out a snort as he sniffs the ground, looking for some grass to chew. Finding none, he shakes his mane, turning to watch me.

I look him in the eye for a second, then turn back to watch the corner of the building. Spike should be back any minute now. But just in case someone else turns the corner, I needa be ready to deal with them. I keep my eyes locked on that point, my ears straining to spot any noise.

“Then high school was over, just like that! Suddenly, I had to pick a field to study, apply to all the colleges, find a part time job and plan the rest of my life! Can you imagine that? I was eighteen! The only plan I had up until then was getting into Sarah’s pants, and we all know what a disaster that ended up being!”

Suddenly I hear movement, coming from the entrance of the alley. I slowly get up, trying to make as little noise as possible, my hand reaching for my waistband. Loud, heavy footsteps start coming closer and closer. It sounds like whoever they belong to, is in a hurry.

I see their shadow stretch into view, around the corner, and I pull my gun from its holster, aiming it at the corner. I glance over at the Mrs, her eyes wide and hopeful as she sees the shadow of her potential savior coming closer and closer.

I see an arm and a leg peek around the corner, and raise my gun higher, taking aim at where I believe the head will be.

“Better take that next step carefully, buddy. I’m loaded and got a itchy finger.” I say.

The person halts. I hear a familiar chuckle, and Spike walks around the corner.

“Bit jumpy today, hey, bud?” He asks, slinging the large suitcase he’s holding over his shoulder.

I put away my gun, the danger over. “I’m hungry, man. Not to mention still sticky from those goddamn freaks. What do you expect from me?”

He lets out another chuckle, swinging the suitcase in front of him and laying it down on the ground. He unzips it, flipping over the top so we can look inside.

“Damn, Spike. At least the Mrs will have some luxury in here.”

The entire inside of the bag is lined with black velvet. Sitting inside, is a coil of thick rope.

“Yeah, but I’m gonna have to get a new bag after this is done.” he says sadly, as he glances at the still-lubed up Mrs. I have no idea what kind of lube those freaks used, but I gotta say, it’s been a while since we took her and she’s just as slippery as she was when we found her. Quality stuff, I’ll give them that.

I let out a short laugh, slapping Spike on the back. “Maybe you should call in The Feds for a new bag, hey? Take that cost off the final bill!”

Spike grins at me. “Nah, this is coming outta your cut, buddy. I can picture it now… Next one’s gonna have even more compartments… Wheels… A fucking cooler built in… Heck, maybe even throw in some lights…”

I let out another laugh, only half sure that the man's joking. He grins back at me, then turns to look at the Mrs more closely. “Man, what'd you do to her?”

“Oh, nothing.” I say, “We were just talking. I was just telling her some of the stories from my youth.”

Spike shakes his head. “Ah, man… We're supposed to retrieve her, not torture her!”

“Hey, at least she stopped crying and screaming.” I say, as I grab both her ankles and look up at Spike. “Now, are you gonna help me stuff her in this bag or what?”

After a tonne of maneuvering, a lot of swearing and some discussion on what exactly ‘in one piece’ means, we had her crammed in. The zips were bulging slightly, but they were holding. And even better, she didn’t resist in the slightest. Seems we’ve finally broken her spirit.

“Got her.” Spike says, panting slightly from the exertion. “Now… We just gotta get her back to the hotel.”

“That’s where the rope comes in. Help me get her on Gimpie.” I say, picking up the rope and slinging it over my neck.

“Gimpie?” Spike asks, grabbing one side of the suitcase.

“Oh, yeah… The horse.” I say, nodding towards Gimpie. Gimpie looks back at us, unsure of what we’re talking about but somehow understanding that we’re talking about him. He lets out a snort, and carries on sniffing the ground.

“Jack, what did we say about you naming stuff?” Spike asks, lifting his eyebrow at me.

“... To not to. But look at him! It fits him!” I say, gesturing towards Gimpy.

Spike stares at the horse a bit longer, contemplating. After a bit he looks back at me, his face serious. “Just this once. We’ll keep the name, just this once. Now, help me lift her.” says Spike, as he lifts the one end of the bag.

I grab the other end, and together we get her on Gimpie. We place her in the middle, so Spike can sit behind the case and keep it steady while we ride. I take the rope from around my neck, tying it around her and Gimpie so it’s easier for her to stay on.

“Ready?” I ask Spike, wiping the sweat off my brow.

“Ready.”

We both jump on the horse, me sitting in front of the bag and Spike behind me. I give Gimpie a pat on the side to reassure him, then give him a light kick to the side to get him moving. We come out of the alley and into the street, making our way slowly towards the hotel.

“Looks like it’s lunchtime…” I say to Spike, swerving Gimpie to avoid an ogling tourist in the middle of the road. On all sides of us, people stop to stare for a second, before carrying on with their day.

“Don’t mind us, just a bunch of tourists, just like you.” I hear Spike mutter under his breath.

“Let’s just get to the damn hotel.” He says to me.

I nod, and kick Gimpie into a faster pace.