Alright, it’s been a while again. Typical new year’s resolution, right? But I’m really going to try to get better about logs. I’d blame the confusing messes we seem to get into constantly, but the truth is, we have more than enough downtime between the chaos that I could be logging almost daily.

Anyway, I’m here now.

Vr’roq was a surprisingly nice stop, for an ET-dominated planet way out in the sticks. The air’s no good for humans to breathe, so we all had to wear masks and carry oxygen tanks on our backs, but the temperatuer and atmospheric pressure are fine, so the full suits weren’t needed. The shields were repaired by the time we all left the ship, but there was a big, ugly scorch mark where we’d been hit. By ‘big’ I mean you could’ve laid six of me end to end across the diameter. The mechanics confirmed that it was cosmetic damage only, but Jules decided to have it repaired anyway–apparently it’s cheaper out here than it would be closer to our usual stomping grounds.

We took the opportunity to restock our supplies. The sudden long journey to Vr’roq had run us down quite a bit on its own. The piracy was the icing on the cake. Batteries, fuel, food, toiletries–you name it, we were almost out of it.

The mechanics had batteries and fuel in stock, but the real challenge was finding human-appropriate food on a planet that sees so few humans.

And being on such a planet was an experience, let me tell you. I’m used to being in the minority, but here, the vizelan locals didn’t even seem to know what I was. Granted, it’s hard to read the expressions of unfamiliar species, but we all caught stares from nearly everyone we passed and I think that says it all. A few people took pictures and they weren’t subtle about it–makes me a little nervous, considering Jules is still wanted for interrogation.

At one point, Alec and I went searching for food while Jules worked a price out with the mechanics. We found ourselves in a crowded downtown area, surrounded by strangely organic-looking architecture. The buildings were nearly dome-shaped, but irregular, made of an opaque glassy-looking material that ranged from green to blue in color. At high noon, they glittered in the sunlight under an impossibly vivid blue sky.

Along the way, we got to talking. At first it was just small talk, but then the conversation hit a lull and Alec cleared his throat and said, “So, uh… Are you also getting the impression that Jules is telepathic?”

“Yes,” I responded instantly. It had been obvious, really, ever since the Orange Sector escape.

“Oh, okay, so I’m not just nuts,” Alec said. “Do you know how telepathic they are? Or, like, how they’re telepathic? Either one.”

“I don’t ‘know’ any more than you do, but I have my theories,” I said. “They can definitely communicate with Flora telepathically. Not sure how far their range goes. They were for sure able to talk to each other while we were in the Orange Sector building. They may have been in communication while Jules was on Ethros and we were still in space.”

Alec shook his head. “It shouldn’t be possible over that kind of distance. Even naturally telepathic races have a pretty limited range. It’s rarely more than shouting distance.”

“Sure, with natural telepathy it’s impossible, but what about implants?” It conflicted with my theory that Jules never lies–they’ve outright stated that they don’t have any neural implants–but what better explanation was there?

“Hm. I guess that’s really the only way it could work, right?” Alec mumbled, mostly thinking aloud. “I mean, nobody’s ever found evidence of natural telepathy in humans.”

At that point, I became very conscious of our placement in a busy market area surrounded by ETs. “Watch it with the h-word,” I hissed.

“Oh, sorry. Terrans. I always forget.”

“Me, too, but we’ve gotta be more careful out here.”

“Right. Do you think Jules can read minds?” Alec asked.

I thought about it for a moment and remembered how I had to explain to them why Frances was upset during their last big argument. “I think if they could, they would understand other people a whole lot better,” I said.

“Maybe they can, but they just don’t do it all the time,” Alec said.

I preferred not to consider the possibility.

“Do you think they could talk to us telepathically if they wanted to?” He continued.

“Alright, focus,” I snapped. “We have a job to do.”

Alec looked at me like a kicked dog. I felt sorry right away, but at least we got off the topic. We didn’t talk about anything but the task at hand from there on out.

After a lengthy search, we couldn’t find any “real” food that we were sure wouldn’t poison us, but we did find what is essentially a calorie-rich paste made of a non-toxic plantlike organism and a bunch of vitamin powder. Not exactly gourmet, but stir it all together and it’ll keep you alive.

When we got back the the ship, we found Frances had replied to Jules’s warning. Her response was mostly profanity with a few threats thrown in for good measure.

Once all our supplies were in order and the ship was like new, we set out to finish that stardust delivery. Luckily, we didn’t have a strict time limit this time, so we set a course to go around the fighting.

I saw very little of Jules during that leg of the journey. It’s not uncommon to go a day or two without seeing them when there’s no particular work to do, but this was excessive. Athena assured me that Jules was fine, though, so I didn’t try to seek them out. I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t think I’d have found out by asking.

Which is getting frustrating. Straight answers are hard to come by with Jules, and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I think of them as a friend and I want to trust them, but I’m tired of feeling like I’m stumbling around in the dark. Come to think of it, that might be why they made themselves so scarce. I can’t ask them uncomfortable questions if I never see them.

Anyway, with Frances gone and Jules hiding, Alec and Athena were the only people I had to talk to.

And Athena…

I know she can always hear me when I do these logs, but I’m never sure if she’s listening. But I do think she knows better than to be offended by something she was eavesdropping on, so…

The thing is, she’s so staunchly on Jules’s side in everything that it’s hard to address the elephant in the room with her. Alec and I have heard more than one lecture from her about how Jules deserves their privacy. And since she knows more than we do about this situation, it’s not like she can really sympathize with the confusion we’re feeling.

So it came as a bit of a surprise when she admitted that even she thinks Jules is going about this the wrong way.

It happened while Alec and I were checking up on some of the ship’s heating systems. Well, Alec was doing the actual work and I was helping. Lots of handing over tools and checking the temperature in different rooms. Alec was in the middle of fiddling with some wires when we started venting to each other about how frustrating everything’s been.

“It’s like…” Alec began as he worked. “We went through a war zone without a medic because Jules has to keep a secret. That’s pretty bad. I mean, they could’ve at least made up a good lie to keep Frances on.”

“Or found another medic ages ago,” I added. “Frances made it clear right away that she doesn’t like it when things get ‘messy.’ Jules should’ve seen this coming. And the universe is full of chumps like us who’ll keep following without a decent explanation.”

“You know,” Athena cut in. “Jules has serious problems with close relationships.”

At first I thought she was just defending them again. “That’s no excuse for–“

“Hey, relax. Aren’t you always trying to find out what’s wrong with Jules?” Athena said. “Well, I’m telling you. They don’t have a clue when to tell their friends what’s going on. Everyone who knows, knows out of necessity. I don’t know what it would take to get Jules to just tell someone.”

“What happened to ‘they’re entitled to their privacy?'” Alec asked

“Oh, they still are,” Athena said. “It should still be their choice when and if to tell. I just think the choice they’ve made is a poor one.”

The final delivery of the stardust was a non-event. We made it to a little human-dominated planet, handed the package off to a fairly ordinary looking middle-aged woman, and got paid. Jules made sure Frances got her cut as well, since she’d been part of the crew during the pickup.

And then we headed to Voltaire to pick up the shuttle Flora took home after Jules’s escape on Ethros. It was out of our way, but for some reason Jules was eager to go. It can’t have been the shuttle–we have three others that we barely use–but maybe they just wanted an excuse to visit Flora.

When we arrived on Voltaire, we met Flora at her kitchen table while she was having breakfast. At the other side of the table sat Frances. She gave a smug grin and a wave when she caught me staring, dumbfounded. “G’ morning,” she said.

Alec was similarly stunned, but Jules hardly reacted.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Nice to see you, too,” Frances said. “You didn’t expect me to stay on Demali with Morgan out for blood, did you?”

“Well, yes, actually,” I said. “But, I mean, even if I didn’t I wouldn’t have expected you to come here.” For one thing, I’d thought Frances would want to cut all ties with Jules after the Orange Sector business, and who was more closely connected with Jules than Flora? For another, I kind of got the impression that Frances disliked Flora. Something about the way she practically interrogated the poor woman when they first met. The fact that Frances would willingly stay in Flora’s home came as a surprise.

Frances shrugged. “My only off-planet contacts who aren’t afraid of crossing Morgan are you all and Flora. And since all of you were out in the sticks, well, here I am. And in case it’s not obvious, I want my job back.”

“After all that?” I said.

At the same time, Jules said “You are welcome to it.”

I glanced at them strangely, but they were focused on Frances.

Frances, who only a month ago had been so distrusting of Jules that she’d rather risk Alexander Morgan’s wrath than whatever unknown fate the rest of us were hurtling towards. If only she seemed a little more reluctant to rejoin our ranks, I might understand–maybe Morgan was so angry over the uranium glass deal that he’d started actively hunting Frances down. If that were the case and she came back demanding that we transport her somewhere else, I’d get it. But I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that she’d come back to stay.

“I don’t understand,” I said out loud.

Frances and Flora shared a conspiratorial glance. “My dear, there are times when we must make ourselves comfortable with uncertainty,” Frances quoted.

So that answered nothing, but at least I had an explanation for Jules’s lack of reaction now. If Frances was with Flora, of course Jules knew about it. Why they hadn’t mentioned it sooner, I couldn’t say. Maybe they were pretending–badly–that they didn’t know.

And it explained why Jules had such a fire under their ass to get to Voltaire for a shuttle we never use. They actually wanted Frances back.

“It will be a pleasure to have you onboard once more,” Jules said.

And that I could agree with. Having a medic on board gave me a tiny sliver of peace of mind that I found hard to come by on an unarmed ship, especially after we’d been in multiple situations that could have ended violently.

“We will be taking a brief vacation prior to our next job,” Jules announced. “A week in the town of Redstart on the planet Rekham. Good for the nerves.”

Frances raised an eyebrow–and with good reason. Rekham’s not exactly a nice vacation spot. It would actually make more sense to find our next job there than to spend time relaxing there. “Well, I won’t object to some time off,” Frances said slowly.

Alec and I had no objections, either, though I will say there are many vacation spots I’d pick before Rekham.

Frances thanked Flora for her hospitality–evidently she’d been there for quite a while. She must have left Demali as soon as Jules warned her about the glass deal going awry.

Jules and Flora said their goodbyes, and we were off, back to a “full” crew. Having Frances back after she jumped ship for more than a month is awkward, to say the least, but it’s been a couple days and she has yet to yell questions at anyone or threaten to leave or try to break down any doors, so I’d say it’s going pretty well.

After giving it some thought, I have a pretty good idea of what happened. Whatever it is that’s got the Orange Sector after Jules, Flora probably knows about it. She must have told Frances something. I don’t know if it was the truth or just a convincing lie, but it must have been something for Frances to suddenly stop caring about Jules’s secrecy. I’d try to get it out of her, but honestly, I think I have a better shot at getting it out of Jules. I’m their first mate, after all. But in order for Jules to trust me with that kind of information, I realized I had to take some advice Athena gave me a while back.

Once we were underway, I found Jules on the bridge and asked if they had a minute. They did, so once I managed to clear the lump out of my throat, I started telling them about the institute’s experiments with telepathy and the implant I’d been forced to use. I told them everything I’d told Athena and then some.

I told them how I still feel the link sometimes, like a phantom limb, even though the implants are gone and Mnirin is dead.

Technically, there’s a chance he’s still alive. I didn’t see him die. But I can’t imagine they’d let him live after that. It sure as hell didn’t sound like they were being merciful while Jules and I were running away.

Jules leaned in and put a hand on my shoulder. “I’m terribly sorry you had to endure that. I am… keenly aware of how distressing such a forced link can be.”

The fog that had settled into my mind since I’d started talking about the institute cleared, replaced by the good-humored exasperation that tends to go with talking to Jules. I knew they weren’t going to elaborate on that, and I wasn’t about to force them to. They’ll tell me when they’re damn well ready, now that I’ve laid the groundwork.

“Now,” Jules said, clapping their hands together. “Let us pierce the stars with journey bold. Off to Rekham.”

Nobody in their right mind would consider a trip to Rekham a “journey bold.” We’re essentially taking a vacation in either a dustbowl or a slum, depending on where, exactly, Jules decides to land. Redstart, they said–but I’ve never heard of it. Why they’re so determined to go there is anyone’s guess.

But it’s such an out-of-the-way place, maybe all Jules wants is to lay low for a little while. That, Rekham would be perfect for. I wish they wouldn’t brand it as time off, though–if we get time off, I’d wanna spend it someplace nicer.

At least I have a guarantee that for one week, I won’t have to break anyone out of jail or navigate through any war zones or get attacked by pirates. Should be nice.

For now, this is Marie Ruiz, signing off.