《A Love at Stake》Chapter 12
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Lily simply stared up into Harry's eyes, surrounded by darkness and slowly drowning in silence, until she could see nothing else but a familiar old man watching from a distance. Then everything faded away, the cold, the pain, the knowledge of who she was and what she was doing there.
Harry.
All she could still see was her son.
Until he faded away, too.
A long while passed, then Lily slowly opened her eyes to a bright light surrounding her. It was not like any light she had ever experienced before. The floor on which she lay seemed to be white.
She listened to the silence. Nobody else was there. She was perfectly alone. All was hushed and still.
She sat up and looked around. Her surroundings looked endless but she could only see white all around her.
From a distance, Lily could make out an outline of a man. She stood up and slowly approached him.
As she drew closer, she was greeted by a very familiar man she had previously seen in her dream or vision. And yet, here he was….
"Lily," said the old man, wearing a very worn out black suit and a fedora who smiled at her. "You probably have an idea who I am."
"Death?"
The old man smiled more broadly.
"So I am dead…" muttered Lily. She let her gaze drift over her surroundings.
"Sadly, yes," said Death matter-of-factly. "And I am here to guide you to the afterlife."
"Where are we? Where's Harry?"
"You could say we're in a place between life and death," he said, beaming. "Harry isn't going to be here… not for a long while, at least."
"So the visions came true but instead I'm the one who died?" Lily asked.
There was a pause. Death closed his eyes for a moment and nodded.
"Yes," he said slowly, his smile fading. "You see, I was looking for this for a very long time." He showed the dagger to Lily. Made from pure silver, the metal glinted in his hands and engraved rune markings appeared just beneath the hilt.
"Its use is to end a life, negating any sorts of magic." His tone was unbearably bitter. He sighed and added, "It was kept from me for generations, until this night."
"Why now? Why did I see that vision of my son dying?"
"Because of Bellatrix`s action tonight," said Death. He drew a deep breath, "I foresaw a future where your son does not live." He stated it baldly.
"I can only witness what will come to pass, so I gave you a glimpse to see which path you would choose to tread." He was looking into the distance.
"So it was up to me?" Lily asked.
There was silence. Death looked directly into Lily's eyes. "Do you regret your decision?"
"No," she said. "I am happy to have the chance to show my son the love he deserved."
Death nodded, looking down at his lap. He sat without talking for the longest time yet. The realization of what would happen next settled gradually over Lily in the long minutes. They looked into each other's faces. Death beamed at her and held her hand as they walked on, obscuring their figures into nothingness.
One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspended: and then the tumult broke around Harry as the screams and gasps rent the air. He found himself being pulled up by Mr. Weasley gently and guided out the street and out of Hogsmeade.
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The pain of losing his mother pierced him like a physical wound the next day at home. How long he stood there, he did not know. The apartment looked almost exactly as it had done when he and Lily had left it last night, the robes hanging behind the front door, and the leftover breakfast he prepared yesterday morning before his mother left for work still in the sink.
He was holding Lily's bag in one hand and her glasses in the other. He sobbed when he took Lily's glasses out of the bag and saw a tiny crack right at the edge of the frame. He remembered well that morning when Lily was so scared of the visions she had, and the cracked glasses were one of them, yet she never mentioned it again.
The sun rose steadily over the apartment, and Harry found himself sitting on the bed of Lily's bedroom, looking at all the moving portraits around him.
From inside his pocket, he took out the pocket watch that Lily had given him last night. He opened it and stared at the five people in front of him. But what caught his attention was a small piece of metal tucked behind the pictures. It slid into his hand when Harry took it off. It was a small key.
Harry stared at it. Lily never mentioned a key last night. He rummaged through the wrapper to find clues but never found one.
He stood up and looked around the room. There must be something in here that needed to be unlocked.
He went over to Lily's drawers and pulled them open one by one, then stopped. Harry's extremities seemed to have gone numb. He stood quite still. Inside the drawer was a small chest with a lock. He took it, lurched to the bed, and sat down.
Hoping that it fit, he slowly inserted the key inside the lock. He took a deep breath and turned the key. Surprisingly, it made a soft click. Harry opened the lid slowly.
Inside the chest were different pictures of Harry when he was still a baby with his mother and father in the background, and a stack of letters addressed to him. He opened one on top and read:
Son,
I'm writing this because we could never have this conversation in person. From the start, you were always the bright spark in my life. It was so much easier to hug you and to let you know how proud of you I was. Coming in the door and getting a hug from you was like a breath of life for me at the end of a long day. We could sit and play or read and it was so easy to be together. Sometimes I won't always know just what it means to be a father, but I do promise to try my best.
I wish it were easy to tell you what being a man entails, all I can say is that for most of your life you will battle between who you think you want to be, and who you truly are. I imagine you will be more compassionate and caring when you grow up. I have no doubt that you will be a man who is filled with a quiet strength that can only be born from a deep, confident concern for the world. Never lose that.
Never give up the sillies, my son. Never stop laughing your laugh. Do not ever let life convince you of its seriousness and always find a way to laugh and make others laugh.
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Always remember that you are loved beyond words. I have said a lot in all my letters to you but I will never be able to say enough that will express the love I have for you. Remember this above all things; you are so deeply loved in this world. Not just by me and your mother and your friends but by the universe itself.
My secret wish is that you should throw all my advice away, crumple it up and leave it sitting on your bedroom floor and go live – go live a life that is true for you. And in many years – as you go out and live your life, as you go out and become your own man, you find a partner, you have children, you become a success – that you come home one day and find that old ball of advice still there. And you carefully uncrumple it and read through it with a smile, realizing that the wisdom stuck with you still and you became every inch the man I tried to help you be. And even better, you became so much more. And you erase my name from the letter and sign it with your own. And you go back to your home and slide it under your son's door because you will want the same for him that I always wanted for you. To be a light in this world that outshines all others.
I love you, buddy!
Dad
Joy and grief thundered in equal measure through his veins as he read it again. The letter was an incredible treasure, proof that James Potter had lived, really lived, that his warm hand had once moved across this parchment, tracing ink into these letters, these words, words about him, Harry, his son.
Harry tore open another letter, this time it was from his mother.
Dear Harry,
When you came into this world, you brought a love into my heart that I had never before experienced. When you spoke your first word, when you walked your first steps, I was your biggest supporter and fan. With every developmental milestone you reached, I revelled in joy and celebration. You taught me the meaning of love – true, unconditional love.
Now you are older, and what an amazing person you've become! You have your own personality, your own thoughts and opinions, and your own sense of humour. You have your own interests, your own talents, and your own way of doing things.
As you continue to grow and become an adult, you will live your own life. You will have times of happiness and times of disappointment. You will fall in love, and you will have your heart broken. Life has its ups and downs and is not always fair, but I know your strength and resilience will see you through. May you always know your worth and how incredibly precious you are! As your mother, it is my privilege to impart these important truths to you.
Be true to yourself always. Live your own dreams. Don't take life so seriously. Love and accept yourself unconditionally. Don't be afraid to take risks. And, last but certainly not least, know that I love you and will always be there for you. No matter what, I've got your back. You are my son and always will be. There may be times when we don't always see eye to eye, but I still love you and always will.
Love,
Mom
Very slowly, Harry lowered the letter with shaking hands. He closed his eyes and wrapped his hands and the letters to his chest. The silence of the empty apartment felt as though it too knew that what he held in his hands was all he would ever have of his parents.
As Mr. Weasley passed the window in the kitchen, his attention was drawn outside and he saw Harry. He made his way to the door and out to where Harry was.
A light morning breeze moved past Harry's face as he stood, looking far away in the vast field in front of him, his arms hanging uselessly at his sides outside the yard of the Burrow. It was the last day of the summer holidays before he went back for another term at Hogwarts early the next day.
"Harry," said Mr. Weasley as he stood next to him, admiring the faint glow of the horizon.
Harry looked up. "Mr. Weasley, what are you doing up so early?"
"I should ask the same thing of you, Harry." He looked at him with concern in his eyes.
Harry stared down at the floor. The shock, the realization, the acceptance of his fate and finally a private message communicated via his eyes. He finally said quietly, "I miss them… my parents"
"That makes two of us," said Mr. Weasley. He turned his gaze back to the horizon. "It's hard when you miss people who have given you so much joy and love. But you know… if you miss them then that means you're lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing."
A ray of sunlight fell across them, illuminating Mr. Weasley's thin hairs and the young lines on Harry's face.
"Family is a unique gift that needs to be appreciated and treasured," Mr. Weasley continued, "even when they're driving you crazy. As much as they make you mad, interrupt you, annoy you, curse at you, try to control you, these are the people who know you the best and who love you."
"You go through life wondering what is it all about, but at the end of the day, it's all about family."
Mr. Weasley patted Harry's shoulder and finally said slowly, "You have us, Harry. We're your family. You are not alone."
Harry smiled weakly. The Weasley's had been with him through his tough times, shared laughter and strength in spite of everything that had happened. It was they who gave him all the support he needed to keep going in life and he can never thank them enough for it.
"Hey, mate," Ron appeared beside him while Mr. Weasley went back inside. "You okay?"
"Yeah," said Harry. "Just enjoying the fresh air."
Ron observed him for a moment and beamed slightly. "A package arrived for you." He held out his hand from behind and Harry saw a large parcel. Harry took it and read the card attached to it.
Dear Harry,
Happy belated birthday, sweetheart! I'm sorry if this didn't make it on your birthday but it will come useful when you start another term at Hogwarts, nonetheless. The owner of Quidditch Supplies shop reckons it'll take about a month or longer to repair and restore. Imagine my shock when I heard it. Anyway, it was your dad's most prized possession. He'd be really pleased to pass it down to you to cherish and treasure.
We love you, son!
P.S. You'd better cook me some dinner for this! Kidding.
Mom
Harry smiled tearfully as he gazed in the open sky. Thank you, Mum and Dad… I love you…
THE END
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