"What if we made the world REAAAAAALLLLLLL BIG!?"

- The first words that were spoken when the world was created, the Book of Flappy.

Bucket yelled at his horse to stop being a pussy and charge into battle.

His horse, being the one with a sense of reason decided not to follow said orders.

It was the right thing to do.

The battle had been on the side of the knights before, but now. The holy warriors of Flappy were dying in droves. The lord had released massive magical abominations of flesh and steel. The work of a Wizard no doubt. The massive beasts held several gaping maws on its torso, each one filled to the brim with rows of sharp crooked teeth.

Several tongues made of snakeskin wiped out of each maw, each one cracking itself like a whip. Three of the beasts in total slowly moved toward the battle at the gate. Hundreds of Farmers had been slaughtered like lambs, each one dying in naked glory.

The guards assigned to the gate had not fared much better, of the 209.9 that had been sent to guard only 107.9 (Seriously don't ask!) had managed to survive the constant onslaught of horny Farmers and holy warriors.

The surviving guards were being quickly whittled down though, the knight at the front struck with powerful Over Head Blows and Smite Strikes. Each attack bringing down at the very least a single guard.

Cost: 20 SP, Range: Close, Stat: Str and Dex Over Head Blows: Release several strikes of extreme physical power on any enemy or ally in range! Bring pain to enemies and pleasure to allies! Or the opposite if you're into that kind of thing... Cost: 20 SP 10 FP, Range: Close, Stat: Str and Faith Smite Strike: Release a deadly strike powered by faith from any angle onto an enemy! Deals extra damage to beings of opposing faiths! The best way to purge is everywhere at once!

And should any one of them manage to score a drop of blood on the holy warriors, their squires would use Link of Vitality to share their health with their masters.

Cost: (U) HP 10 FP, Range: Medium, Stat: Vit and Faith Link of Vitality: Create a link of faith between two or more people that allows one to share HP! The perfect skill for Vampire Cosplayers!

The battle was one of attrition and one that the guards were quickly losing. That had been the situation till the massive magical abominations charged in.

Each massive beast crashed straight into the horde of knights and guards. With the guards being unceremoniously thrown away as the beast bore down on the knights.

The massive maws opened up, and each one snatched a squire with their tongues. The snakeskin whips ripping through the armor and flesh of the squire and pulling them towards the abominations.

Basy grumbled something in Buckets head about 'using proper terminology and not being a racist' but he ignored the demon's malevolent whispers and began to think of a plan.

Basy of course would call it a 'stupid plan that would get both of them killed'. Though that just steeled Bucket's heart even more. At the very least if he were to die the demon would perish with him.

Bucket threw himself off his horse, sword, and shield in hand as he readied himself into a fighting stance. What instead happened was Bucket forgetting to take off his buckle, and turning upside down as he smashed into the side of his steed. His sword and shield fell out of his hands ungracefully, clattering on the rough ground as his horse's speed started to pick up.

An animal's speed was increased exponentially when the one riding them didn't or couldn't hit them in the ribs. So Buckets horse flew off with a vast amount of increased speed.

Buckets weapons were quickly picked up by the naked farmer chasing them, who ran with them, chasing the physical duo but mental trio as the horse continued to be the only sane figure that had a body.

Back at the gate, the battle had gone south quick for the knights and squires assaulting the area. The massive magical abominations charged forward with brutal power, the trio of magical monsters crashing straight into the knights a second time.

Though unlike the last charge, the knights died in this one. The massive humongous blobs of power ripped through the knights like a landslide.

Each one crushing several knights. Popcorn was knocked off his horse in a flash. His steed being struck by a snakeskin tongue-whip, the flesh of the steed was ripping into with a succulent squelch. The hore barely had time to scream before it was pulled into one of the many awaiting mouths of the massive magical abominations.

Crunch!

Popcorns horse's hind legs with eaten with a swift and juicy crunch. The horse screamed in the only it knew how, with annoying neighing.

The massive magical abomination slowly ate the lower half of the horse with gruesome slowness. Content to savor the meat of the horse while the animal slowly died in its grasp.

The massive magical abomination there the rest of the horse eagerly in after it finished chewing, though as it opened its mouth and dumped the animal in. Popcorn fired off a beam of Holy Light.

Cost: 30 Faith, Range: Mid, Stat: Faith Holy Light: When you need to burn some shadow demons to death and need a night light! Holy Light has you covered, we are not responsible for any of the following. Blindness, dizziness, sudden devotion to Satan, or any other side effect you may encounter!

The blast of Holy Light turned the once raw horse into a smoke one. As the weighing animal was set on fire with brutal efficiency. The horse screamed out in pain before it was quickly swallowed.

The massive magical abomination choked and coughed as soon as it closed its mouth. The monster's throat having been horribly injured due to the Holy Light, out of it's back, where the skill had burned a hole through.

The half-digested and cooked remains of Popcorn's horse slowly ripped through. collapsing on the ground, the animal gave one final painful neigh before dying.

Popcorn screamed at the massive magical abomination with a few hateful slurs before charging in. His blade releasing a barrage of Smite Strikes and Over Head Blows. His sword cutting deep into the creatures rotting flesh.

Popcorn let out a savage warcry before he was sent flying into a wall with a strike from one of the massive magical abominations many snakeskin tongues.

Popcorn smashed into a wall with a crack, his body slumping over. His bone's bent at natural angles.

The massive magical abominations, 'okay we really need to get a better name for these things'.

Bucket was distracted from the battle by the demon inside his head, he grunted before trying to focus on the battle again.

The massive magical abomination 'dude, at least give them names!' Basy shouted.

Bucket's brow furrowed as he decided to relent to the demon's complaining. Besides, more info about his enemies could be helpful. He decided to use the skill Identify on the beast which was fighting Popcorn.

Mickey Man-Tongued Albert One of the three Albert siblings, this big boi can lift almost twenty tons!

Mickey Man-Tongues Albert, he was just going to call it Mickey. Mickey slowly started wabbling away, leaving a bloody red splash on where Popcorn used to be.

'...'

"POPCORN!!!!!!!!!" Bucket yelled, his voice reaching the very heavens themselves and shaking the battlefield.

Cost: 30 FP, Range: Long, Stat: Cha and Faith Holy Roar: Release a powerful vocal assault on the ears aided by the energy of faith! Ever heard of shutting up asshole?

Bucket's scream ripped through the air with a blast of power, the holy energy smashing into the farmer still chasing them like a truck. His Holy Roar shook the ground underneath him, causing his horse to fall flat on its face.

Bucket quickly ripped off his buckle and started running towards the naked Farmer.

The Farmer looked at the rushing mass of faith and steel and started running towards Bucket with open arms. Both men smashed into each other.

But only one survived. Bucket struck the Farmer with all of his strength and power, even fueling his muscles with FP to make sure that all he left was a red mist.

Bucket quickly grabbed his sword and shield and charged at the gate, and charged, and charged.

'Man, that horse dragged us really far away didn't it?' Basy asked Bucket as he stopped for a short five-minute break.

"Shut...Up...Demon phew," Bucket wheezed at the distance he had run while covered in full metal. The damn horse had run almost five miles from the gate. He was only a fifth of the way there.

The battle meanwhile was still going on even without our intrepid duo. The knights, as if knocked out of their stupor by Bucket had released their own Holy Roars as well, while around fifty percent of said Holy Roars actually worked. The one's that didn't work still had an effect.

Brother Calciumness Crookedness of the Boneywoe released a roar that caused the bones of the heretics to immediately lose almost all of their calcium. Turning the once-proud pearly whites into brittle sticks to break.

Another man, a squire this time who was known as Squire Rippiy Rafty cones go a Clackity who released a roar that caused intense vibrations in their enemies armor.

Causing many of their weapon wielding foes to drop their blades and bows and arrows onto the ground. Some of the weapons even breaking as a result.

Another roar caused vines to grow and snag the three Albert brothers while another gave intense loose motion to the enemies. The knights quickly turned the tide of battle with beautiful faith. They were the champions of the divine lord Flappy! They would not be slain by simple heretics alone.

As the rest of the guard died, and the Albert brothers perished one by one. Leaving only the brother who had ate Popcorn and his horse.

The ground shook. Bucket fell flat on his face, the ground continued to shake and shake and shake as earthly monuments to devil's and pagan gods started to rise up out of the ground. Hundreds of heretics shot out of buildings, wielding bows and other pitiful ranged weapons.

While others left out of secret doors at the front of the wall. Soon, all of Bucket's brothers and the many squires they had were surrounded by several hundred worths of earthly beasts made of stone. And hordes of fresh heretics and they were still barely halfway to the gate!

How far had that damned horse dragged them!?