To all those who are reading this,

I know what some of you might be thinking but trust me, my goal is nowhere even close to making the readers sympathize with the boy and blame his parents instead for all the bad things that happened to him.

‘“Why are you making that face!? Stop making that face in front of me!!! Get up!”

It was the voice of a man. He was yelling at his son who had a very complicated expression on his face. His forehead was strained, his eyes looked sad and lost and he had a frown on his face. The boy looked as if he had lost all his hope in the world.

The man yelled at the boy and urged him to get up but the boy stayed still. He didn’t even move an inch, as if he was dead as if his body had lost all its strength…no, the boy was actually dead.

A pile of mass that doesn’t have any desires or ambitions is obviously dead. The boy was something like that, he had lost his will to live, and the only reason he still existed was that he didn’t have the courage or guts to end his life. He was waiting for his death to come, every day every moment seemed like an eternity to him, he had lost his sense of time, for him sometimes the time will move incredibly fast, and sometimes the time will move incredibly slow.

The boy stopped talking to anyone, he would sometimes make conversations with himself, think of situations that might never happen in the real life, sometimes he would think of the past about what wrong decisions he made in his life, and sometimes he will reminisce about all the good things that happened with him before. He was a person who lived in the past.

Of course, the boy was not pitiful, far from it, he was actually disgusting, filthy, and loathsome. One has to take responsibility for their actions, and the boy was taking responsibility for his. Although he was filthy and disgusting, he only became that because of his actions. No one should be blamed for it, no one but the boy should be criticized for it.

The boy was tired of his life. He didn’t want to live any further so he would always pray for his death but no matter what happened, he didn’t die. He still existed as a liability for everyone around him, that walking piece of garbage, a stain on the name of all the humans still shamefully lived for a pretty good amount of time.

He obviously wanted to die but he didn’t have the guts to do anything. So he went to the gods and asked them for mercy, but he didn’t get any relief from there as well. The boy wanted himself to be left alone, to be completely isolated but no one granted him that wish. And now even his father had lost all hopes for him.

Of course, his father wasn’t a bad person. No, he was an upstanding citizen and a loving family man who would give away everything for the happiness of his family, at least that’s what I believe.

I know what some of you might be thinking, but trust me my goal is nowhere even close to making the readers sympathize with the boy and blame his parents instead for all the bad things that happened to him. No, obviously not. The thing I am trying to accomplish by writing all that gibberish and describing the mental state of that boy is…something I am not even aware of myself. I am just writing this out to release my mental pressure.

The boy was obviously me and my father was yelling at me back then but now he seems to have cooled down so it looks like I am in a safe position now. But I sincerely hope that before you guys read this foolish novel-cum-diary of mine, I hope that I am dead by then.’

AUTHOR

I remember writing something like that before I died.

Ugh…people reading my novel might think I am weird. I wonder how they would feel if they don’t see my novel getting updated any longer. Or maybe they would just forget about me. I don’t know why but it kind of makes me sad knowing that people might forget my existence.

Coming back to the topic, it seems that I have been either reincarnated or isekaid, well whatever it is, I guess I am fine with it as long as I get to get away from my old life.

I looked around me. I was on a bed with a very thin mattress, it was so thin that for a moment I thought that I was sleeping on the ground. On my left and right side, there were two kids, one of them was a boy and the other one was a girl. They looked very cute and they were holding me as they slept.

I carefully got up from the bed and walk towards a mirror I saw in the room that I was in.

It was then that I realized something,

The 'me' from earth was very ugly

I looked at myself or maybe the body I am possessing in the mirror. It was the body of a boy, he looked to be around 7-8 years old. White hair, deep blue eyes, shit! This guy looks like a hottie!!!

I was looking at myself in the mirror when suddenly a woman arrived in front of me. She seemed to be in her early twenties and she was wearing a nun’s clothes. I wonder if I am staying at a church but this place…it looks too shabby for something like a church.

The woman had a terrible expression on her face. She came running towards me in a hurry and touched my hair. Then she started saying something in a language I didn’t understand.

“[email protected]#$%^@@# IY(*^(&)) ^*%*%$&$ &(%*$&#^^@&”

What is this language? Should I try asking her in English?

I was about to say something when I felt the world spin in front of me and I ended up fainting in the end.

I was transported to a black space. There was nothing around me apart from a deathly silence and creepy darkness. If I were to stay in this place for more than 10 minutes then I might actually go crazy.

I was sitting on the…surface? I don’t know, maybe I am just floating in the air.

I looked at myself, I was back in my original body of a 20-year-old adult. I was wearing the same clothes I had back when I had gone to sleep, a black half T-shirt and black full trousers with grey stripes on them. It was the most normal and common of clothes that anyone would wear on earth.

Then I looked in front of me. It was the boy whose body I had been probably transmigrated in.

The boy looked at me as if he was looking at a piece of trash.

“Seeing you brings so many unpleasant memories,” The boy said with a sigh

Hmm? Does he know me? Plus his way of talking is very similar to someone I know.

“Shut up. It’s not like I wanted to see you or anything”

The boy didn’t say anything. He just looked at me for a moment and then said,

“We…had been tricked”

Tricked?

What is he talking about?

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

“So you don’t know. Shit!!! What kind of a fucked up development is this!?”

The boy literally started yelling and is he...cursing? I will make sure to tell his parents about it!!!

But before that....

“It’s fine. Just tell me, what happened?”

I urged him to speak

The boy went silent for a moment before he finally said,

“As you must have figured it out, you have been transmigrated (one’s soul leaving the original body and entering someone else’s) into your novel”

What!?

The boy looked at me with a shocked expression on his face.

“Don’t tell me…you don’t know about this development too!?”

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!!!!

There are too many unknowns here.

I calmed my breathing and looked at the boy again and asked him,

“According to what you said, I was reincarnated in my novel. So you must be Raphael, right?”

The boy gained his composure and looked at me with confused yet determined eyes,

“Yes,” he replied in a frank voice.

Whoa! So I have been really reincarnated in my novel! Damn!!

“My consciousness is about to dissolve in a few moments, after that only my memories will be left behind and I’ll be all gone, so let’s not waste our time. I will get straight to the topic, you remember what happened to you yesterday when you went to sleep, right? The thing is, yesterday you died because of an unknown reason but for some reason, you got reincarnated in this body of mine”

“There are too many unknowns in here. Don’t worry I am sure that you won’t die. I will probably disappear in a few moments” I tried to reassure him

“Look at this bastard, trying to act all considerate. You don’t have to worry”

“Ok, so how did you die? I doubt most people can kill someone as strong as you”

“You are right but you see, the one who killed me was Teacher”

What!?

The teacher that Raphael was talking about is one of the major characters of my novel. He was supposed to be the one to teach everything to Raphael.

“That guy? But how could he!?”

Raphael looked at me for a moment and then said,

“Looks like you are unaware too. Was there no development like this in your novel?”

“No, to be honest, I did decide to make him an antagonist in the later arcs but he wasn’t supposed to do anything now”

I was genuinely confused

“Hmm…I see, well whatever, he did kill me, that much is undeniable. Yesterday he entered the house and locked me in a separate space, I wasn’t even able to breathe properly when he did that, then he pierced my stomach with his hand and forcefully took out my mana core. I don’t know how he did it but there was no wound or anything even close to that on my body. As for why he did that, it was because he wanted to take my mana core”

“Your mana core?”

“Yes, he explained it to me before that he only taught me how to form a mana core so that he can snatch it from me one day after I reach a certain degree of power. He seemed genuinely impressed with my progress”

That bastard!!!

But…all of this is probably my fault.

“I see, I am sorry. You must have suffered a lot” I bowed my head to apologize to him

“You don’t have to, it was out of your hands, to begin with. Do you have any more questions?”

“Yes, how did you find my soul?”

“After I died I was sent to a place that looked like a star field to me. There was a weird deep blue-colored thread on my stomach that connected me to a different point in space. When I traced the thread, I reached earth and saw what was happening to you?”

I don’t think I ever thought of this idea.

Is this world truly the same as the one I had imagined in my novel?

“Is that so? Well, tell me, what was happening to me?” I stopped thinking about anything else and asked Raphael the most important thing that I wanted to ask.

“To be honest, even I don’t know that much. I just felt someone’s presence behind you, but for some reason that someone wasn’t able to sense me. Then all of a sudden your soul left your body. I waited for that someone to leave, then I pulled your soul with me to this place. But there was a condition that I had to fulfill if I wanted to bring your soul into this body”

“And that was?”

“To sacrifice my magic element. You see, the lightning I used to wield was very special, as I have come to know that it is called the Sky Supreme Lightning, see, it has a very flashy name too. Coming back to the topic, I had to sacrifice it in order to get you in this body. To be honest, although I called it transmigration, it’s not much different from reincarnation. Hmm…I don’t have much time left, do you have any questions?”

Well, I did want to make his lightning special but I am sure that I haven’t thought anything much about Raphael’s lightning.

“I see, thanks for saving me, and thanks for rescuing me too”

“It’s fine, the two of us are the same. Just promise me, promise me that you will keep Sister Beatrice and the children safe”

Raphael said as he looked me directly in my eyes

“I will” I replied and looked back to assure him

“I see, thanks P*****l (Author’s real name)”

After that, the Raphael in front of me disappeared.

I am glad, I am glad that he didn’t ask my future plans about him.

The thing is, because I wanted to make this novel seem realistic, I was going to put Raphael in various depressing, heartbreaking situations, to make him feel despair and question his own existence. It was a terrible thing to do but yes that’s what I was going to do before I came here.

I felt as if I had fallen unconscious again.

I woke up after a few hours

My head was hurting; it was already overloaded with the piles of information from the daily life of Raphael. I had just only got up and sat on the bed when suddenly two small children hugged me tightly.

The two children undoubtedly were my adopted siblings, Tracy and Mike.

I had thought of them to be cute but I didn’t expect them to be sooooo cute.

I patted their head and ruffled their hair.

By that time Sister Beatrice had entered the room.

“How are you Raphael, are you fine?”

She asked me in a worried voice

And it looks like I can understand her now. Is it because I have gained the memories and experiences of Raphael? Well whatever, I guess it only made things easier for me.

“Yes, I am”

Sister Beatrice was giving me a worried look.

She looked just as I had imagined her to be. Medium height, a slim figure, brown hair, and a lovely face. I don’t know why but for some reason I want to hug her. But I can’t, I am not Raphael, I am someone else, I can’t hug her.

“Raphael, what happened to you?”

At first, I wanted to lie to her, but then I decided to tell her the truth, from the start.

I tried to speak, but I wasn’t able to say anything. Looks like, even this body is afraid of speaking the truth. What have I been doing for so long!? Was I really just playing around in this village!? How am I still unable to tell the truth!?

“I don’t know sister. I am still confused myself but if you ask me, I feel stronger than I was before”

This was the truth, although I dodged the question.

But coming back to the topic, I do feel stronger than I was before, and my mana level hasn’t decreased at all, no, it actually seems to have grown a bit

Sister Beatrice didn’t say anything else. She just gave me a doubtful look and turned away.

There was a deep pain in my heart when I saw that doubtful expression. Looks like Aziel was deeply attached to her.

Sigh…what should I do?