Chapter 3 : Zion

It was already 7pm, in the midst of rush hour, I looked outside of the bus window. The sun was already down and stars are now present twinkling beyond the smog and the city lights. Cars are building up, more and more. And the bus I am in is now stuck within the traffic.

Thankfully, I manage to grab a seat, or else I will have to stand up along the way.

I shifted my eyes and I accidentally saw my reflection through the mirror. Half of my face is covered with my mask, the face shield is transparent and didn't hinder my view at all. Nevertheless, I can see exhaustion in my eyes.

Of course! Who on earth would not get tired! A person who lacks exercise, a person who never basked in the hot sun for the entire two years was suddenly thrown out to look for a job under the blazing bright sun!

I walked for a long time, and I keep getting lost. Map was useless for me and I had to ask many times just to get to my destination.

If not for mama urging me to get a job, I will not go out of my comfort zone. Such a pain, who likes to go out. Zee is not an outgoing person!

I diverted my eyes from my reflection and took my phone. I sigh as I open it and maybe read some novels along the way.

I tried to read, but I just couldn't focus my attention on them. I still felt frustrated. I already expected it, but no matter how much I try to brace myself from impending failure. In the end, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

I already have low self-esteem and my presence is usually low. However, I still had some little self-confidence left in me. Zion never failed once before. That's what I thought.

I never failed at anything before, that's a fact. It's either excellent or average, or it was passable. Though I don't care about my grades or results, I still have some pride that I wanted to keep, especially since I came from a family that didn't lack outstanding people. The only reason why our family still maintains its current status is because papa is super lazy. Mama is smart and very responsible and an amazing person. But papa forbade mama from doing jobs and let her stay at our house as a housewife.

My sister is very good as well. She took after mama and she's very cool. Though my inferiority complex came from her and resulted from my lack of self-esteem, I still think of her as an idol. Her only problem is, she is a very adventurous woman, who spent money like water in the tap. Always going here and there, and everywhere. Complete opposite of Zee who dreams of experiencing the 'black room'.

Before the pandemic happened; me, my sister and her friend went out to get some fresh air in the mountains. Yup, we went hiking! I was so excited. Before it was always the whole family and our car. But ever since my grandma died when I was still in elementary, this kind of outing has become a luxurious thing for me. It rarely happens now.

And so, this is the first time going out again with the exception of school field trips. This is my first time I went together with some strangers. You know, those traveling agencies something something. Those tour guides with a bunch of packages and services.

So, like that, three of us, together with a bunch of strangers went for some hiking.

It was terribly cold and we friggin’ came at the wrong time. There's a f*cking typhoon and we climbed in a mountain of mud. And the attractions that we were supposed to see beyond the clouds at the top of the mountain were all shrouded by fog and rain.

The only thing I enjoyed there was when we came to crawl under the cave and explore it. When we came out of the cave, my eyes were brimming bright with goal and ambition.

"I will explore all the caves in our country!"

That's what I said. I was determined to get a job by then, so I could have funds to do this kind of activity. But the pandemic struck and I f*cked up. I lost interest and just gave up. So, I buried my head with all the novels and manga I could find and read. Anime too.

I sighed. I didn't know how many times I sighed today, but one thing I know is that I'm tired. Two years of confinement took a lot of toll on me. I'm having episodes of Depression every now and then. I even think that maybe I really have it now. But I don't want to get ahead, since Psychology students really like to self-diagnose.

As I was mulling over inside my head. My ears pick up murmurs of the other passengers on the bus. I ignore it, I don't care and I don't want to ponder about other people right now.

I took my phone again, and stabbed my earphones in and listened to some music. My phone only has three types of music on it. Anime theme songs, Disney songs, and of course BTS!!!

I'm an Army, BTW. (*´ω｀*)

Thinking about it. I remember in college, me and my friend wrote a paper about a study detailing a process of how individuals learn. It's actually our final project. Like we have to write something close to a theory, but not a theory. More like a hypothesis, centering the study of Psychology of Education.

We, partners are both in the Army. We presented BTS as an alternative name for our paper. Because, like I said, it's like a theory so we need a title for our theory right~ It was very cool. It was fun. Learning and interest is what our papers are all about.

We are motivated to learn because of our interest!

Actually, she was the one who rope me in the Army, and I pulled her down towards the road of being a fujoshi. It's like an equivalent exchange.

That's why, when we wrote that paper. Even if our professor only gave us five-day preparation, the two of us, partners, really enjoyed writing that paper.

...

Sigh~

I'm feeling so frustrated, that I even doubted why I exited. I failed two interviews in a row. I sigh again as I thought of not wanting to look for a job again.

I listen to 'Fire', then 'Blood, Sweat and Tears' and can't help but reminisce about the past. How good it is to become a student again. Coincidentally, 'Boy In Luv' was played.

I should really try applying for WebNovel once I get back. A translator? An editor, I very much prefer that.

I'm plotting plans again~

I want to go home.

30 minutes later~

I focus my eyes outside of the window. I see the same cars and the same line of traffic, and I still don't feel the movement of the bus. For some reason I became anxious. My ears were submerged to the song 'Butterfly'. My nerves felt strain and my heart beat loud. The mellow music of 'Butterfly' didn't help and just made my anxiety worse. I can't help but recall the MV when V jumped off the platform down to the sea.

So, I removed the ear phones. Surprisingly, I heard murmurs again and it was louder than it was supposed to. I quickly turn my head; I stand up and look around the bus.

That's when I perceived that something bad had happened.

I sat again, but this time I am more alert, more like I'm anxious. I stopped the music from playing on my phone and hid it in my bag. Focusing all my attention to my ears, I listen to conversations of other people.

"How long do we have to wait here?"

"I heard from the driver that there's many casualties ahead. The train suddenly lost its track and slammed on the concrete barricade."

"That's weird you know. That has happened before. That train slammed into that barricade before but what happened now. How can it fall down?"

"You didn't hear it? It was actually very loud. When the train smashed itself into the concrete barricade, BANG! It was really loud you know."

"Really I didn't hear it."

"'cause you're sleeping, idiot."

When I heard that, I really wanted to complain too. I didn't hear it either. When did that explosion happen? Why didn't I notice it just now?

I was shocked. I stiffly sat on my chair feeling colder than ever. I swear that the music in my phone is not that loud. Even if I am wearing headphones, I should hear a loud "bang" right?

Such bad luck! So, when will they clean the highway? I want to go home! I want to sleep!

I could only complain. But deep inside, I'm scared. I'm alone and it's night. Especially, I don't know what's happening at all.

Why is nothing going on my way?

So, what's going to happen now? When will I be able to come home?

Why is this happening to me?

I slump down on my seat trying to calm down. I am feeling anxious. I look out again, and stare at the long rail tracks above. Should I feel thankful that it didn't hit our direction?