《A Robbery Of Goats》Chapter 13: Feather Dance
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No matter how long the night, on some days, the morning still arrives far too early. Icid’s head burned like someone had filled her skull with smouldering coals. Next, an unpleasant cold draft flowed over her body, sending shivers down her spine. Then something stumbled around next to her, making an unbearable racket.
She opened her eyes, facing the harsh light of morning. The world was once again upside down, as it was often as of late. Although things were a bit different today. Firstly, she was naked, no semi-skirt, no blanket, nothing. Secondly spider webs…
“uuuuughh.”
When she attempted to move another large flare of pain shot through her head. She was in the middle of a giant spider web, or at least the beginnings of one. Not the famous net shaped type, but one of those hole shaped nests. Most of her body was vertically against the wall, with her rump lying on the floor of the structure. Her hind legs curled around her while two front-facing pairs stuck out the front of the entrance.
Boff- more loud trashing and stumbling. Icid moved her head out to look, slowly this time. A boy rabbit struggled around on the floor, getting more and more entangled in strands of spider silk. He attempted to swing around a long wooden staff, but only pulled the tread more around himself.
“Rid?”
He stopped rolling around and cast a glance upward. His small nose went an instantly beet red and he turned his head away in embarrassment.
“I-I am so sorry. Miss Rowan asked me to come g-get you… When I stepped inside the living room I tripped into the web and couldn’t get out. I had no idea you were sleeping he-”
“Uuuughhh, don’t talk so loud. My head hurts enough already.”
Icid wanted to move back into the hole, to hide her body. But she would be in view regardless, even if it was the instinctual thing to do. Hide the same, the nudity, both the human and the spider. But glancing at the rabbit toiling in the strands of her web, looking away all embarrassed, it felt so… pointless.
She was ashamed how this body looked, even with clothes on. But right now the only thing that entered her head was ‘who cares’. It all felt so unreal, so far removed from reality, that it did not seem to connect. Who cared if this guy saw her naked, who cared if anyone did? What would be improved about this situation as she where to hide?
Her purity as a maiden?
Her social standing?
Her innocence?
Right, nothing that she had or cared for. She took a glance at Rid again. Somehow his embarrassed jolts seemed… childish, weak. Like someone lacking control, or not having perspective. Her nudity was not worth this much fussing, it was scarily worth a mention. After a deep breath, Icid stretched her limbs and climbed out of the nest.
Her clothes lay in a nearby corner, not unlike she used to do in her own room. Rid was now trying to break the thread by brute force, having given up on his staff. As Icid put on her jacket she regurgitated some of Rowan’s endless ‘advice’ at him.
“Stop struggling, you will only make it worse. Move deliberately, with thought. Any unnecessary motion is another thing that can go wrong.”
“Ahhh.”
Rid paused, taken by Rowan’s generic drivel. Then he set about flailing in a calmer manner. Icid took the time to observe Jack's living room. She could recall very little of last night, and what she did recall was very weird. Stacks of bottles lay strewn across the floor, enough to get even Rowan and Jack smashed. It turned out that both of them are quite a danger when drunk. This became quite obvious when a fourth person had joined their party involuntarily.
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Rowan had dragged him inside through the window and Jack poured a full bottle of rum down his throat. By the time he got back to his feet, he was too drunk to walk and collapsed over a nearby chair. But Icid had a hard time recalling what he even looked like, the poor lad.
Jack’s living room itself also did not get out unscathed. It was now newly decorated with her new spider nest, tucked into the far corner. Even if it was still unfinished, it must have taken hours to build at least. She had no clue how she had done it, or why, but looking at it, she almost felt proud of her achievement. Other, albeit less well constructed, webs sat in other corners of the living room, including next to the door where Rid had fallen.
He had managed to free part of himself now, but his arms were still completely stuck. Unlike Revvel, his character seemed much less intentionally crafted. His rabbit species was cute, but lacked a certain humanness. The feeling was hard to put into words, but creatures like orcs and goblins carried a certain autonomy within their appearance. While the goats and rabbits had an underlying animalness in their facial structure that made it hard to take them seriously.
Icid’s eyes glided over at his feet while he crawled around on his knees. Most of his body was very human-like, albeit covered in fur. But the bone structure in his legs was quite exceptional. They had a far more pronounced s-curve than human legs, sticking out in the front and back, even in resting position. The construction was like that of a spring and his walk tended to have a significant bounce to it. Even his long feet only partially touched the ground, with only the front end making contact.
Rid did not wear boots, but why Icid was not quite sure. He could not wear human shoes, of course. But if the stores stocked spider and goat fashion, they should stock rabbit clothes too. The undersides of his feet looked soft given the circumstances. A bit like a cat’s paw, always shockingly squishy for something someone walks on. With a smile, Icid extended one of her legs and gave a soft poke. Rid yelped and fell face first back into the web.
“Why oh why do you have such big soft feet, mister rabbit?”
He turned so red the rose glow was visible through his thick fur. He once again started flailing around, having completely lost his calm, and was getting himself only further stuck. After a couple of giggles, she took pity and pulled out her knife.
“Never mind, here take this. So, you said something about coming to get me?”
Rid managed to free his arm after a couple of clumsy cuts and sat up.
“T-thank you, Icidae. Yes, I am to take you to my guild, the Rattling Ravens. From there we will go to the meetup point. You will join us while we make a loot run in the Palace of Roots. Miss Rowan has already collected your gear.”
A sudden and unsettling thought appeared inside Icid’s head as Rid spoke.
“Who is this we exactly?”
“Revvel, you are here…”
The bird princess returned a cold glare.
“Unfortunately, I am indeed here. Well, that is not quite true. This is my job, so of course I was going to be here. The unfortunate thing is that you are here too.”
Icid gritted her teeth while trying to fight her pounding headache.
“Now, now, ladies, please be respectful. We are going to be together for quite a while, so try to get along.”
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Jack bounced onto the gathering place with merry excitement. He was dressed in lightweight leather armour that was at least two sizes too small, accompanied by a rapier and a large leather-bound book. A light brimmed within his small eyes that was even more wholesome than his regular expression.
Bob, the dumbest and most brainwashed of the veteran goons also strolled onto the meetup point. He, in contrast, looked pissed.
“You lot are going to get slaughtered down there, you understand that, don’t you? And we won’t be dragging your corpses back up when you do. There is a large difference between fighting with people who can defend themselves and having to defend tier 1 shmuck.”
“Your comments were clear the 15th time, Bob. No need to repeat it any more. You accepted the deal and have been paid. Just do your work like you always do and we will manage ourselves.”
Rowan said, as she strolled onto the square.
Bob spat on the ground.
“I am helping you because Revvel owns you a favour. Not because of the meagre compensation you offered.”
The bird princess looked away. She likely had not expected this favour ever to come into play. From her point of view, it had been likely that she and Rowan would never meet again. But it seemed Rowan had played the favour card when the veterans were present. They might be brutes, but they did at least consider themselves knightly and honourable. So she couldn’t wiggle her way out of this one. And Icid would almost take joy in that, if it did not mean they would be spending the better part of two days together.
“Good, that makes everyone. Now let’s get in the cart, we can put everyone on the same page while we travel.” Jack said, beckoning everyone to follow.
The cart was cramped, so small it would have narrowly fitted six humans. But unfortunately Icid was not a human and could not sit on backed benches. So she reluctantly hung from the wooden framework that held up the oilcloth roof.
Rid still had his staff from before and it now battled for Icid's precious ceiling space as well. Bob was in full plate with accompanying greatshield causing Rid and Revvel to be squeezed against the wall. Revvel herself had a very large longbow that she also tried to shove into Icid’s face, while it was very clear it fitted on the ground just fine. Altogether only Jack and Rowan seemed to have proper space to breathe.
So Jack, as per usual, took the first word.
“Good, good, it is a bit of a tight squeeze, but it seems everyone found a spot. Now let us review some matters, we are going into a dungeon so it is important that everyone knows who does what. As a Grimoire Keeper, I can read your stat sheets for you. So I will give a quick overview of everyone’s abilities.”
Icid lowered herself in excitement, and to dodge another poke of Revvel’s bow. Now, this was her area of expertise, stats and skills and compositions. She would almost consider getting one of the Grimoire classes herself, too make sure she always had the numbers at hand. But as she already had a party member with the skill, so that would be a waste.
“We will start with me this time. I am a humble Grimoire Keeper. That is tier 3, for those who do not know their classes by heart. It is of the family of Grimoire classes, which contains a variety of spell-casters that specialize in non-combat magic.”
He gave a couple of taps on the big leather bound book hanging on his side. To everyone’s surprise, the book gave a violent jolt and started growling. With another whack from Jack’s hand, the book stopped ripping its bonds apart and the growling stopped.
“Lively lass, this Grimoire is. Unfortunately, this is about the best you’re going to get at tier 3. Not pleasant, but powerful. But I must admit I am not set up for handling dungeon runs. Most of my spells are strictly non-combat. Appraising goods, writing magical documents, and some minor summoning. I have some wards and magic detection, but that is about it.
So, let us move on to someone else. Bob, our Tower Knight. A tier 4 tank on legs, is a moving mass of steel. He is the one that will get hit so you don’t have to.”
Bob slammed his gauntlets into his breastplate causing an ear-piercing metallic clang. Revvel gave small applause and Rid nodded respectfully.
“Now then, moving on we have Revvel, a tier 2 Windwalker. Confusing name, but that is because it is a rare variant of the Archer class. She does what an archer does, but better. And we have Rid, our tier 2 Mage, plain and simple. He shoots fire, he shoots ice, all very useful stuff.”
Rid made his usual embarrassed gestures at the praise.
“Now on to the new blood. You probably do not know your sheets yet, so let me give them to you in full.”

“Pathetic.”
“Thank you Revvel, your constructive feedback is invaluable like usual.”
Icid looked up in surprise at Rowan’s unusually annoyed retort. Revvel, in turn, made a pleased smile.
“I mean, we can make this long or short, but there is no arguing with facts. Your levels are trash, your build is trash and your skills are trash.”
Rowan cracked her fingers one by one, giving the words a bit of time to sink in.
Icid instinctively crawled back a bit. She could feel a weird prickling in her legs that caused memories of getting suplexed to bubble to the surface.
“I think you might place too much value on tables and numbers, Revvel. No amount of magic fairy dust will save you if you do not know how to fight.”
Another chill went down Icid’s spine, causing her to jolt. She looked around, but she seemed the only one to have that reaction. Revvel giggled and folded her legs in the cramped space. This caused the tip of her shoe to hover inches from Rowan’s face.
“Was that a threat, you little farm animal? You seem to have a hard time knowing your place. Your level displays how well you can fight, that is what they are for. But if you want me to stomp on you for a little while to prove it, I am happy to oblige.”
Rowan jumped up, but simultaneously Jack’s hand grabbed her in the neck and pressed her back down. They turned to stare into each other’s eyes with both their faces distorted with unmistakable fury. A couple of moments passed, punctuated by more of Revvel’s giggles.
Rowan muttered something under her breath, but sunk back into the bench. Within a flash, her face had gone unreadable again, but her void-black eyes retained an unbroken gaze at Revvel’s throat. Icid took note not to vocally put Rowan’s capabilities into question. A thief’s pride appears easier to hurt than she had expected.
“Well, I don’t think it is that bad…”
Rid’s shaky voice cut through the silence.
“Hidden Blade is seen as quite a good skill. It is not very rare but it has a lot of growth potential. Luckily you got it early, so you have a high chance of getting its derived skills. Also the Criminal classes, Thief included, are notoriously hard to level. So having it be your highest level ability is an achievement upon itself.
Besides, Bonehead is exclusive to Capra, so people tend to forget about it. But it has real utility in dungeons with traps or ganking players. If you work to get access to Shadow Magic as your soul skill and raise Hidden Blade and Bonehead to obtain their derived skills it will make for a decent Assassin build.”
“She still does not have a single source of direct damage though.”
Revvel cut through with an unwelcome comment again, causing more gritting of teeth and cracking of knuckles to occur. Icid however, was starting to break out in a cold sweat over what was going to happen next.
Jack cleared his throat and took the word again.
“Well, let us put that out of mind for a while and move on to Miss Icidae.”

“Hahahhaa, it got the Beggar’s curse!”
Like clockwork, Revvel burst out in mocking laughter, causing Icid to become beat red in embarrassment. The Beggar’s Curse was, as its name describes, a curse that befalls beggars. She had gotten it while she lived in the slums outside the first ring. No one knew exactly what the Beggar’s Curse did, but peculiar misfortune tended to befall those how had it. And as it was a special category skill it was always active and was almost impossible to get rid of. In a word were money ruled, the Beggar’s Curse was considered the highest mark of shame.
This time Jack’s warm voice was the first to interrupt Revvel.
“Well, the rest is actually quite good. She does not have many levels besides on her Arachne form, but that is a high tier species so it gets lots of skills. The Thief class plays nicely with Arachne skillset and even has some unique variants down the line. I don’t know about Dark Heart and All Consuming Song, so they must be quite rare as well. In any case, special abilities are, in most cases, a lucky thing to get. As long as she puts focus on levelling her mind and soul skills she can become quite a powerhouse.”
But princesses never let their tongues be silenced for long.
“Oh, why is everyone so eager to take it up for these two whackjob weirdos.
That rhetoric only holds up if it evolves its body down the Arachne line. We all know that if it chooses for a human-ish form later it will lose most of the skills it has right now. But of course, that would be me assuming human levels of reason. It is completely possible that ‘it’ over there gets off on becoming an even larger, more disgusting spider.”
Burning hot blood started to rush to Icid’s head. She clicked with her mandible and spider-stalked toward the bird princess. Still upside down, she gazed with all her eyes into Revvel’s cold blue crystals.
“You know what, you hollow ball of feathers, maybe I will. Maybe I will become the most gigantic, creepy, disgusting spider that ever crawled across this server. Maybe I do care more for the raw power, for the numerical advantage, than for vanity. And when I do, little bird, you better sleep with your eyes open. Because vain chicks make for excellent dinner.”
Revvel swung with her bow to get Icid’s drawn fangs and clicking mandibles away from her face. But when compared to Rowan’s attacks, it was as if it happened in slow-motion. With ease, Icid caught the bow with her free hand and pushed it away. Revvel’s face contorted into a harrowed expression as she peered into the spider maw.
“You aren’t scared of tiny spiders, are you, little avian?”
“Stop this, leave me alone!”
Revvel’s free hand shot out in an attempt to hold the advance, but Icid caught it all the same. Her fangs itched unbearably, she wanted to bite that soft neck. Laughter, blood, corpses and goats danced in her head. She wanted to bite, she needed to bite, she had to bite…
She- Creeaak!
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