Chapter 4

I learned how to drive more easily than I had ever learned how to do anything else in my life. It felt like I had a natural intuition for judging distance and speed while in a car. The moment I sat in the driver's seat, my perception seemed to expand to include the width and length of the car. I felt aware of anything close to it, and I felt a natural ability for being able to perfectly center a car between the painted lines on the street and how much distance to put in between other cars and obstacles in the road. I could feel just from the tension in the wheel how many turns or half turns I needed to make to ease the car into the tightest of parking spaces. Even Mr. Do, who was usually pretty reserved with his compliments, called me a perfect driver. Except for one thing…

“You drive too fast, Baek Jaehyun-a!” He always gripped the handles in the car with a white knuckled grip and squeezed his eyes shut when I touched the gas pedal.

I laughed. “Gets you where you’re going faster, sir.” I didn’t often get to drive, usually only to pick up something for Mr. Do when he was busy or to chauffeur him to a job that couldn’t be transported to our shop. I made sure to relish every moment I had behind the driver's wheel. Maybe I did drive a little fast, but I was always careful of my surroundings and slowed down properly when making turns.

“At my age, there’s no need to rush like that.” He groaned as he pushed himself out of the car. He made a great show of returning safely, complaining to our coworkers about how recklessly I drove. They in turn ribbed me, jokingly accusing me of plotting against the boss.

“That’s just a bad business plan! Who’ll pay me when Do Hoon-nim is gone? You?” We laughed. The camaraderie and rapport I had with my coworkers made the garage feel like a second home, one far better than the one I went back to every night.

Thinking of my problems at home seemed to manifest them instantly.

“Jaehyun-a! Were you just driving a car?” The familiar raspy voice of my father cut through the laughter. It faded in moments.

“Dad..!” I choked out a greeting. The mood was somber now. He had never come to the shop personally, so I had never held back venting my frustrations to my coworkers as we worked. Everyone here was well aware of his bad habits, thanks to his loose lipped son.

“Baek Seung-ssi. What brings you here?” Thankfully, Mr. Do asked the question on everyone’s mind.

“Just visiting my son, that’s all. Don’t mind me now.” I felt embarrassed at his overly casual way of speaking, even to total strangers. The other mechanics moved off after giving my father polite greetings. They scattered around the shop, making busy work.

“Do Hoon-ssi.” The slight wheedling tone in my fathers voice filled me with dread. I’d often heard that tone creeping into his voice when Park Bonghwan came calling for the weekly interest payment. With all the workers moved off, we three stood alone. “You’ve treated my boy well.” He made a mock show of patting me affectionately.

“He works hard, and learns quick. Jaehyun is well on his way to becoming a top tier mechanic.” Normally Mr. Do’s compliments would fill me with pride, but at the moment I was dreading what I knew my father had surely come to ask.

“Good, good,” my father said distractedly. “Do Hoon, I’ll be straight with you. I’ve come to ask you for a favor. You see, my wife and I have been struggling to make ends meet, even with Jaehyun helping. I don’t mean to say you don’t pay him enough…”

Then why say it! Every word that crept out of his mouth revolted me to the core. This man seemed to have no low he couldn’t yet stoop under again. I could feel Mr. Do stiffening next to me, prickling at my father’s implied insult.

“I know you’re a kind and generous man… Do Hoon. The way you took in my son proves it. So I wanted to ask you if you could possibly loan me money.”

Do Hoon trembled with anger. My face was hot, full of the shame that my father seemed to have none of. I looked at the asphalt below us, too shamed to say anything, and unable to leave this scene.

“Baek Seung…..” Mr Do growled. I watched my father’s feet retreat a step back. “Have you no shame? To ask me such a question, in front of your son in the middle of his work?” His voice raised with every word. My father’s feet retreated yet more, but now Mr. Do’s feet pursued them forward. I snapped my gaze up, now concerned that a fight was about to break out. My timing was near perfect; the moment I looked up was the exact moment Mr. Do’s fist connected with my father’s face.

“You worthless, slimy, good for nothing son of bitch!” Mr. Do had a temper and yelling was a common enough sound at the shop, but the sight of him striking anyone wasn’t. A few of my fellow mechanics were looking on in shock. My father fell heavily to the ground. He kicked up pebbles and bits of gravel as he scrambled to his feet. Mr. Do hurled a balled up, grease stained rag at him. It bounced off my father’s chest ineffectually but its message was clear enough. “Get your worthless, stinking hide out of my shop!” hollered Mr. Do.

“And never come back!” He added as my father hastily made his exit. Mr. Do threw himself down into a chair. He produced his kerchief from its pocket and dabbed at his now sweating face. I nearly fell over myself, throwing myself down to my knees and apologizing over and over.

“Jae-ya, get up,” groaned Mr. Do. “I’m the one that should apologize to you, for speaking to your father like that—no! It’s your damned father who needs to apologize the most. Lee Minjae, who was always attentive to everyone’s needs, rushed over with a cup of cooled tea. Mr. Do thanked him and gulped it gratefully. He slammed the empty cup into a nearby rack, rattling the various tools and bits on it. He heaved a big sighs

“Jae, go call your mother. I think it’s probably best if you stay with me tonight.”

I was grateful that he even thought of that.

——

A few days later, I found out why my father had found the guts to crawl into the shop and shamelessly try to shake down my boss like that. Park Bonghwan himself showed up at the shop. He had walked so it was clear that this didn’t have anything to do with him needing automobile service.

“Do Hoon-ssi.” He greeted my boss. Mr. Do returned the greeting with a respectful head dip. “Can I borrow Baek Jaehyun for a minute?”

Mr. Do nodded his assent and waved me off. It was a particularly busy day. I wiped my hands on a rag and obediently went over to Mr. Park, bowing and greeting him as I did so.

He motioned for me to follow and walked a ways off away from the shop. I followed him a meekly as a shadow. Mr. Park looked back at the shop to see if anyone was trying to eavesdrop.

“You’ve probably noticed by now but your father’s gotten himself into a lot of trouble. More than he usually is,” he added. He hadn’t needed to. My dad was always in trouble so mentioning it again was enough to distinguish that he’d gone and backed himself off another cliff.

“Did he borrow more from you again?”

“Not from me,” Mr Park laughed. “I'm not fool enough to lend him any more. You’ve done well to help him pay off his principal, but even you’ll be working just about the rest of your life to finish those interest payments. No, that dumbass Cho Il-sung did.” He cursed and spat. I didn’t know who Cho Il-sung was so I just moved my foot away from the globule of spittle.

“Well, that idiot got his already. But the big boss — my boss — caught wind of it. He thinks I haven’t been handling this situation well. He’s gone and assigned Han Jungho-ssi to keep tabs on your father now.”

I gulped nervously. In the relative scheme of things, Mr. Park had been a pretty lenient lender. So far he had only beaten my father, and hadn’t threatened to take our organs or whatever else extreme thing gangsters threatened. I was fortunate to not know. He had even helped me get this job.

Park Bonghwuan gave me a critical eye. “I’m telling you because you don’t deserve to get involved in the storm that’s coming. You’re old enough now to cut ties and make a break for it, like your brother did. You should consider it.”

His words stung me. “Shitty as he is, he’s still my father. I won’t abandon my family like my brother did.”

Mr. Park let out a frustrated sigh through his teeth and pulled out a cigarette case from his suit pocket. He stuck one of them into his mouth and lit it. “He always was the smarter of you two.” He waved and walked off.

It was the last time I ever saw Park Bonghwan.

—

Despite the promised incoming storm, nothing happened over the next few days. At home at least. There was a night my father didn’t come home, but he reappeared a day later.

The peace didn’t stop Mr. Park’s words from rattling around in my head. He wasn’t a man to mince words, and if he had personally come to warn me, then what was to come really was bad. The shop was particularly busy lately, with people needing tune-ups on their car before the new year. My constant state of distraction frustrated Mr. Do and he yelled at me often.

My heavy thoughts scattered as a car roared up the pavement. I looked up to see what was making such a ruckus. The sight of the car made my breath hitch. It was the flashiest car I had ever seen. It wasn’t a super car like a McLaren or a Hamada, or even a luxury car. It was just a Subaru WRX, but it was obviously heavily modified. A sleek metallic spoiler angled back from the rear, and every tire was outfitted with expensive racing brake pads. A blue tiger streaked down the side of the car, claws outstretched and mouth roaring. The car, as it climbed the asphalt, answered with its own fierce roar.

A beautiful woman with an extremely low cut shirt popped out of the front seat window and waved. “Do Hoon-oppa~!” she called, in a flirtatious, lilting voice.

Mr. Do appeared as summoned. A young man, not particularly handsome, but wearing expensive looking street wear, exited the vehicle.

“Do Hoon-sunbae,” the man greeted Mr. Do. Instead of bowing he held out his hand. Mr. Do didn’t take it.

“Han Sungmin, didn’t I say I wasn’t going to take the Blue Tigers’ business anymore? What happened to your usual mechanic?” He crossed his arms and scowled. I, personally, was impressed that Do Hoon knew these people by name. I couldn’t peel my eyes off of them or their car.

The man, Han Sungmin, laughed cheerfully. “She’s busy. Everyone’s busy before New Year.”

“So am I,” grumbled Mr. Do.

“Don’t be like that, Do Hoon-sunbae. Do me a favor here. Don’t think of me as a Blue Tiger, think of me as your hubae, your old apprentice.” Han Sungmin smiled appeasingly.

“Pah! Apprentice! You hardly learned anything before you ran off with those Tigers.” Do Hoon waved him away. “Business is good these days. I don’t want to risk it all by getting involved with you lot again. Now, scram before I really get mad.”

The girl in the window whined and called out again but Mr. Do had already stormed back into the shop. Everyone else dutifully looked away except me. I was still entranced by the car, still humming a low growl like a caged feline.

“He didn’t even want to hear what we needed,” Han Sungmin grumbled. He climbed back into the car. As they backed off our lot, the girl caught my eye. She winked and blew me a kiss. I blushed. The peals of her feminine laughter disappeared into the roar of the engine as the car sped away.

I felt like I could breathe again. “What a car,” I gasped.

“Heh. You like stuff like that? A bit gaudy for my taste,” Lee Minju snorted.

“I wonder what he does, to have a car like that,” I said wistfully. I didn’t think it looked gaudy at all. Han Sungmin only looked to be in his early twenties.

“It’s obvious. They’re street racers,” chimed Lee Minjae, Minju’s brother.

That caught my attention. “Street racers? Like, on those streets?” I pointed out to the street outside our shop.

“Nah, not here. It’s too quiet here. Inner Seoul. All the gangs race there,” said Minjae.

“Supposedly the more dangerous the route, the bigger the payout,” agreed Minju.

“They get paid?? By who!” The more I heard, the more intrigued I was.

“Gamblers, of course. People…” Minjae’s voice faded as Mr. Do approached.

“You two! Don’t put ideas in the boy’s head. Stop all this idle chat.” He turned to me. “They’re a bad crowd, Baek Jaehyun. You don’t want to get mixed up with them.”

We fell silent as we returned to our tasks. Despite Mr. Do’s warning, I still felt my jealousy for the street racers burning within.

---

Thoughts of the racers followed me home that day. I had been paid today, so my father surely would be waiting at home. But once I handed off my earnings to him he’d disappear, and we’d have a quiet night. Maybe I’d splurge and get my mother and I something good to eat tonight.

I tried the door. It wasn’t locked, so I went in. Immediately a rough hand caught me by the throat and slammed me against the wall. I cried out in surprise and pain as my head thudded against the wall. The hands tightened around my throat and I gagged. I stared wide eyed into the face of a complete stranger.

“Who’s this? Your son?” With his face so close to mine I could almost taste his breath and I felt sick. I tried to pry his fingers off, but his hands only tightened, causing me to see stars as my breath was cut short.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes!” stuttered my father. “I told you, I told you he was coming home. With money! He gets paid today. I promise, he has money!”

I was panicking and struggling to get my breath. My vision was blurring, but the man let me go. I collapsed against the wall, gasping for breath. I could still feel his crushing grip around my throat and I tried to move away. For the first time I got a look at the scene around me. Another burly man stood next to my father, tapping a metal bat against his hand. Her father was prostrate at his feet, sobbing and bloody. My mother laid in a corner with her back to me, motionless. The man who had just now been choking me pulled me straight up and searched me roughly. He found the envelope of my wages and counted it out. He gave me a murderous glare that made me cower away.

“Seems a little sparse. You haven’t been skimming some off the top, have you, kid?”

I had already left my savings in my locker but the portion I left for my mother was still in my pocket. Despite my mortal fear, I managed to shake my head no.

The man’s intuition apparently told him otherwise, and again he conducted a more thorough search of my pockets. My heart stopped when he pulled out the bills I had saved for my mom. “So you’re a liar too, like your bastard father.”

He backhanded me across the face. My vision lit up with flashes and I fell, stunned. Before I could regain my senses, the man with the bat brought it down on me. It knocked the breath out of me. I had never been hit so hard by anything in my life. It felt like I had just been hit by a truck. Somehow my instincts kicked in and I curled up to protect my head and vitals. It didn’t stop the rain of blows smashing against my arms and legs, and each blow seemed to strike me straight to the bone. The pain was indescribable. When I was certain that I was about to be beaten to death, they finally stopped. I didn’t move from my protective huddle, terrified that it would begin again.

“Thank your son, Baek Seung. He paid off your last three weeks’ interest. You can keep your wife and your organs today. But keep missing your payments…” he let the sentence trail off menacingly. “Let’s not find out, shall we?”

He patted me on the head. I flinched away from his touch. I was shaking like I was freezing. Every muscle down my side seemed crushed and throbbed viciously with every movement. I was too terrified to move, even after they left.

“Jaehyun. Jaehyun!” my father grabbed my shoulder. It flared with pain and I yelped and flinched away. Slowly, I uncurled myself and looked at my father with wide eyes.

He looked equally pale and shaken. Bruises and blood covered his skin, and one of his eyes was already swelling shut. Blood dripped out of both nostrils and his nose was swollen, too. For a few moments we just looked at each other, shaken.

My father made a strange, choked sound. He limped to his feet and struggled out the door. I heard him fumbling on the other side, then the lock clicked.

I made my way over to my mother, dragging myself inch by inch. “Ma,” I choked. My throat seemed burned and the word rasped on its way out. “Ma?”

Gently, I turned her towards me. Blood covered her face and she flopped limply and my heart stopped. I put my face close to hers and let out a sigh of relief when I felt her breath, faint and weak.

I tried to stand, but collapsed several times before I could manage it. Supporting myself against the wall, I found a towel and wet it. I stumbled back to my mother’s side and dabbed at the blood on her face. Most of it had come from a cut in her scalp. We didn’t have any bandages or medicine at home so I struggled my way to the bedroom and found one of my clean shirts.

“J-jaehyun?” My mothers shaking voice called after me.

“I’m here,” I called back. The words forced up a cough along with them. I limped back and collapsed next to my mother, shaking with the effort. She watched me rip the shirt to bind her head.

“Are you hurt bad?” I whispered. It hurt to speak too loudly.

“My head is the worst,” she murmured back. “I fainted almost instantly.” She started to cry. I took her in my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and it was painful.