I’ve focused on making more repairs to Dr. Blackwell. It helped keep me calm and it made the doctor’s jerking better. I don’t think I can fix the hydraulic system, I just don’t have the right tools or fluids. But I have managed to reconnect enough wires that the jerking has stopped. Not that this makes me feel better. They’ve gone completely still now.

I’ve set their machines to reset. Dunno if that will help anything but we can hope.

Graham made it. His armor is badly messed up, I can see a bit of his real body through it. He’s found rags to bind up the machine fluid. He wasn’t moving well because of the damage. I was so happy to see him I ran to meet him and almost tackled him to the ground. He took a look over Dr. Blackwell and commended me on the work I’ve already done. It made me feel a little proud to hear.

While Graham was investigating the damage, Dr. Blackwell suddenly woke up. They are still alive. Remembering that ANIMUS and Dr. Mariana aren’t, and we still don’t know where Minali is, really sours the doctor’s survival for me. But I bite that back, I know I shouldn’t be petty or bitter. But it’s hard. I think there’s a part of me that is projecting.

Dr. Blackwell has heavy damages that can’t be repaired in the current circumstances. What fluid remains is completely frozen. They won’t be able to move until we can make the critical repairs, IF we can make repairs. When the doctor woke up I was unfortunately out of the shelter. Building a sled to use to return to the better shelter I made. Graham told me that the doctor tried to thank him for the repairs and he had to correct them.

From what I heard, Graham gave the doctor a very good talking to. When I returned Dr. Blackwell did look very ashamed, so that’s good I suppose. He gave me a half-hearted thanks and I nodded in return. I still don’t feel like talking with him. Graham still tries to call me captain. I told him that it’s not necessary for that anymore. We’re all stuck here and need to find a way off before the star goes supernova.

Graham is a resourceful thing. He’s been building a ship since he landed. We talked about moving my shelter to his ship. Dr. Blackwell isn’t talking or contributing much. Not like there is much he could do. Graham sets about inspecting the servers. Hopefully he’ll find more than I did.

I went off to collect more supplies and hopefully find a clue to what’s become of Minali. So far there’s been no sign of her. It worries me. I don’t bother calling any more. Just leaving marks in the metal debris so she can follow us.

Upon returning to the shelter, Graham and I started using the supplies to create a transport vehicle for the doctor. He’s still silent, moving around and pouting, but silent. I’m avoiding their sight and their avoiding mine. Graham has investigated the servers and the good news is that there’s only a partial chance that the star will go supernova. A higher chance that it’ll just go out completely. Which is better than a supernova I guess.

With this mildly good news, it’s Graham’s turn to go scavenge which leaves me babysitting Dr. Blackwell. They aren’t saying anything and neither am I. Instead I tend to the things that need tending. Dismantling unneeded machinery for scrap, writing my logs, changing the doctor’s makeshift bandaging. Busy work.

They finally speak up however. The first thing they had to say was that there would be no rescue. The star was too close to death and the chance of a supernova would be too dangerous to send a rescue team in. At least even when more dead than alive they’re consistent. I chose not to reply. There was nothing nice I could say. So I stayed silent. They went quiet again too.

Then they said that I was non-confrontational and if I had stepped up we wouldn’t be in this mess. Which is when I snapped.

I yelled loud enough to shake the snow off the shelter. I told them that they overstepped their rank. I was the captain and they chose not to respect that. They wrenched control from me and crashed us here.

I pulled out the tags of our fallen and showed them. Yelling that if there’s responsibility to bear, they need to take their share. I stormed to the servers to gut the ones we didn’t need. I didn’t mean to lose my temper but I can’t listen to them telling me this is all my fault. I can’t hear it from them. I hope that Graham gets back soon.

Dr. Blackwell again speaks up, asking if one of the tags belonged to Dr. Katida. It makes my stomach churn. I lock up as I tell them about how I found her. Her phantom haunts our space. Her voice screaming in the wind. At least they aren’t unaffected by this. The doctor went quiet and kept their eyes low. I kept busy and it was quiet. Which was great because at least I didn’t have to talk to them anymore but the silence was not comforting.