Graham has built a serviceable sled for us to carry Dr. Blackwell to the shelter I made. Once we get there we’ll start planning on getting the supplies and things to Graham’s construction area. There was a slight hiccup when the sled was built. Dr. Blackwell started moaning again. Whining that we should leave them behind but I told him that won’t happen. We’re all going to stay together.

They moaned about it for a long time. Saying we’re trying to be malicious and have the whole thing blamed on them. The thought had crossed my mind. But no. I just can’t leave them behind. Though I am tempted. I repress that. It’s bitter, and angry and just not the way I am. Though the situation is really pressing me to the edges of what I thought was my personality. And the whining is grating on my mind.

Graham keeps punching me and giving me these looks. He’s trying to be helpful and supportive. It’s really not helping. But I keep smiling at him. I may not be a captain anymore but I spent hours and years training to be. There’s just stuff that’s a part of me now. Like smiling and nodding along to those I’m responsible for when they’re trying to be cheerful.

We’ve taken a small break before loading up the doctor and supplies. Our provisions are running very low. Graham doesn’t eat much and I’ve been exercising restraint. I can only imagine how miserable we’d be if I had brought only enough for me and hadn’t refrained. We should have enough to get back to the shelter at this pace. It’s getting colder and neither the doctor nor Graham have survival suits.

To fix this, Graham and I have split my suit. We’re sort of sharing it, it should hold for us to get to the shelter where we’ll find the others. With the map I made from my vantage point we discussed making a journey to the supply bay where we’ll find more parts to build an escape ship.

We loaded up Dr. Blackwell onto the sled. He continues to whine about us not bothering. And we’re not. Not bothering to respond.

Graham overheard me mutter that and snorted so hard he choked. That brought a small smile to my face. We loaded up the parts and built a little shelter to keep the chill out. What few textiles we could find we hung up and bundled up around the doctor to keep them from freezing over. They let us know that if we’re trying to get them killed they would rather be shot and for us to get it over with.

I ask Graham if he’s found any weaponry yet. He shrugged and admitted that, just like me, he hasn’t looked for any weapons. It just didn’t seem important. We packed up and headed for my shelter. Keeping a tight hold on the map and discussing where each part of the ship had crashed and what to do with it. As well as my logs and what we should do with them all. Graham’s a little distracted by something.

Upon further inquiry, it sounds like he wants to inspect the server a bit more. He hopes he can narrow down the timing of the star’s death and give us a better timetable. Though he’s not a navigator or a pilot so it’s going to take time. Time we might not have. There’s not a second that can be enjoyed in this situation.

The clouds brought lightning so we found shelter as it started to rain ice. I checked in with Dr. Blackwell. They’re as grim as ever. Telling me we’ll all die here and it would serve us well to find our weapons and be merciful. I ask if the ride is comfortable enough given the circumstances. Expecting complaints and I wasn’t disappointed. However, as they were complaining I heard a very odd clicking and grinding sound from in their gears. I mentioned it to Graham who said he’d check it out. Dr. Blackwell is also slowing and slurring their speech a bit. I ask if they’re feeling all right and they say there’s something crawling in their chest. I haven’t seen any sign of life and given the doctor’s cold and inhospitable nature I can’t imagine anything would want to take shelter in there.

I also didn’t find anything in there. Nothing that was crawling. Just a bunch of broken and battered machines parts that were barely hanging on for dear life. The delays in their ticking are very worrying though. It makes me wonder if we might lose the doctor.

Graham took a look as well and said that the parts don’t look good. There’s rust started to build and to repair the doctor he needs specific parts. Parts that are most likely going to be in what’s left of the medical bay. Which is nowhere near where I built my shelter. I put the directions to my shelter on the map and told Graham to get to the shelter with the doctor and I’ll grab the parts from the medical bay.

Graham’s given me the full survival suit since he’s heading to where the rest are. I’ve got a bag and I’m ready to head out. With a full survival suit the freezing rain won’t bother me as much.

Before heading out, Dr. Blackwell grabbed me. They asked me why I was doing this. Why I would go out of my way for them when I hate them so much.

So I clarify that no, I don’t hate them. I don’t like what they’ve done and their attitude is less than what I’d prefer but they still are a part of this crew and do bring a valuable part to this team as much as any of us. Their life is valuable and I’m willing to do what’s needed to preserve it. They didn’t let me go yet.

And they told me that they’ve underestimated me. They even gave me an apology. Dr. Blackwell addressed me as captain for the first time and let me leave.

I set out in the freezing rain for the medical bay. With a little feeling of accomplishment. I think I even cried a little.