This is taking too long… Sarah nervously looked outside the window as the last rays of the sun, turning the sky to a deep purple. A few stars twinkled in the aether above, causing greater worry than awe.

Checking her pants for her phone, she gave her head a light rap when she remembered she no longer owned one.

“Alright, we’re tied up one-one.” Mike completed setting up and held his hand out, “Since you lost the last round, you get to choose: who’s going first?”

Without a second thought, “I’ll go.” Picking up her five cards, Sarah smiled. Far better than the last start. Placing down her fish rock, she looked out the window, finding nothing of interest, “I’ll pass.”

Doing the same, Mike collapsed his hand from the fan he had it in before, “Your turn.”

A deep sigh exited Sarah’s lips. “Geez, what time is it?”

With a thumb press, the screen of his phone lit up on the table beside him, “Looks like it’s already about six. We’ve been going at this for about thirty minutes.”

“I’ll pass again.”

Without looking at his hand, Mike set down a familiar ‘Behemoth’ spell, “I’ll play Rapid Growth! I still can’t get over how I never found one in the first game.” Adding another fish rock to the line, Mike was already beginning his grand strategy while Sarah had not even made it to the field yet.

As she put her hand utop her deck, a squeaking she had become far too acquainted with in a short time filled her mind. Fuck. Looks like the tinnitus came back. Looking at the card, her own familiar ‘Behemoth’ card met her. Oh yeah, this is a three point creature, I can use this.

Placing it down on the table, Sarah smiled, “I’ll summon Gemless Carbuncle!”

It was Mike’s turn to freak out, “Bruh, what the hell is that card? I’ve never seen it!”

“Well, it’s like super rare or something. Some weird ginger guy gave it to me yesterday. Dick or something like that.”

“Ginger guy? You mean Richard?” Mike fished in his bag for something. Pulling out a plastic sleeve similar to what he layered his cards in he delicately picked up Carbuncle and slid it inside. “This doesn’t make any sense. Everyone says each type of card only has two ultra rares. ‘Behemoth’ has Gramadoron and Cricket, so has there actually been three?”

Fidgeting with the new sleeve, Sarah continued, “Dunno. Seems pretty fuckin’ good though.”

It was true, the card was just as shiny as the ender of her streak yesterday and her new frustration today. All she knew was that the card had pretty cute art and pretty good effects: This card satisfies all race requirements for an EVO summon. [Arrival] Gain 1 empty Play Point.

“What even is an ‘EVO summon’ anyways? Do you even play ‘Behemoth’ cards? Do you want to trade for it? It’s perfect for my deck!”

Now I can see how this guy’s friends with Kyle. Sarah rubbed the back of her neck, “You’ll have to find out and nah, I need something to keep me up with you!” With a laugh trailing off, Sarah placed another fish rock, bringing her up to four play points on her third turn, catching up to Mike’s ramping strategy. “Anyways, it’s your turn.”

“Bruh, I’m not gonna get past that. Now I need to see if someone at the shop has one.” With another turn set up, Mike continued, “I’ll play another Rapid Growth, and with one more play point, I’ll go ahead and summon Stormstrider Sprite.” Even without using all of his now five play points, he looked quite pleased with the turn.

With her own five play points, Sarah flipped over three, “Let’s go with Dishonest Rogue.” Turning both of her cards sideways, she pointed at two of her opponent’s shields, “I’ll have Rogue break that one and Carbuncle break that other one.” As she turned the second card sideways, the sparse squeaks and chirps turned hostile. Huh.

With a scowl, he picked up one card before tucking it back into his hand. As he picked up the second, his mood flipped entirely, “Oof, can you believe I had another Bell this game?” Much like the first round, the spell seemed to be a way to stop her rushdown strategy. “Alright, you’ve got two guys on your side of the field with only 1 attack point…” He trailed off, carrying his chin in his hand. Finally settling on one, Mike pointed at the only sleeved card on her field, “I don’t want you doing some EVO shenanigans, so I’ll just pop that one.”

Once more, the squeaks returned as she picked up Carbuncle and ended as soon as she let the card slip from her hand and into the Graveyard. Shit, there was anthrax on the card!

As Mike set up his turn, Sarah pointed towards his phone, “Mind if I look something up real quick? Swear it won’t be weird.”

“Uhh… Sure, but I’m going to keep going on my turn.”

“Fine. Fine.” As Sarah fumbled with the old phone’s lock screen, she tried to find the internet icon while trying not to look at the bright pink background featuring young anime girls with wildly impossible hair colors dressed halfway between a ballerina and a clown with various leather… accoutrements.

“Just, uh… Ignore my Mahou Shoujo Yuri Magica Arashi background. It was a… prank.” Clearing his throat, he continued, “I’ll go ahead and summon Storm Silver Compass, fetching the same card from before.”

“Mmhmm…” Sarah closed tab after tab of anonymous message boards featuring similar images she had unfortunately grown accustomed to seeing on there. She made sure not to activate his Glimmer. If this dinosaur even has one. When did this come out, 2026?

“Cool. I’ll just…” He turned Stormstrider sideways, “Attack your Rogue.”

After reaching across and setting the phone down, Sarah put her card in the Graveyard, “Thanks.”

Shit. Anthrax doesn’t make you think you’re hearing squeaking sounds. It just straight up kills you. Which after looking through that phone…

“Cool, so it’s my turn?” Receiving a slight nod, Sarah continued, “Rad. I’ll summon Sainthound Dominator.” Looking at the whip on the card sent a chill up her spine after a harrowing two minutes she just endured, “I’ll also use my last point to summon another Scrapper.” Having 6 play points on turn five was a feeling she could get used to.

Straightening up in his seat, Mike drew his card, “Really put me in a spot there with only one shield left.” Shuffling through his hand, Mike looked at his seven play points, “Yeah, I think I have to do this.”

The ‘Behemoth’ card was placed on the side of his field, in a spot Sarah did not even know was a zone you could play cards in, “I’ll play Decree of the Seventh Storm. It lets all my cards gain [Sonic Strike] if they cost 6 or more play points.”

“Fuck, that’s good.” Sarah whispered, craning her neck to get a better look at the card.

“I’ll pop one of your shields with Stormstrider, that way I can get my weakest creature to attack in case of a-”

“[Shield Skill], Overpower. Similar to Phantom Axe, I get to kill one of your creatures, this time with 4 or less attack points.” Sarah pointed at Silver Compass, “I choose that fucker.”

Mike took a moment. Resuming normal brain function, he held his hand out to his opponent, “... In case that happened. Your turn.”

With 7 play points on turn six, Sarah had plenty of options. “First off, I’ll go ahead and play Prominence Vine to get me back to full shields.” She placed the top card of her deck face down before her, joining her two other walls she had above her adversary.

“Y’know, I could end it right here…” She pointed towards his one remaining shield, “But knowing how these games have gone, a [Shield Skill] reeeeally could fuck me over.” Turning Sainthound Dominator sideways, she pointed at Stormstrider, “But at this point, it’s about sending a message.”

As he set the card in his Graveyard, Sarah wagged her finger, “Uh-uh. Give it here. Dominator lets me take control of any monster she beats.” Despite the holy imagery a ‘Miracle’ card intrinsically invokes, the card art featured a blindfolded buxom woman holding a whip while spreading her angelic wings, flanked on both sides by massive canines.

With Stormstrider on her side of the field, Sarah grinned, “I’ve always wanted to get that effect off.” She turned Scrapper sideways, “And I have to attack with this guy, so I’ll break your last shield.”

Putting the card in his hand, Mike took on a grin of his own, “Oof, bruh. You coulda got me for game there.”

As he set up his turn, he continued, “In fact, you gave me what I needed to come back!” Nearly slamming the card down, the first ‘Heathen’ card she’d seen these last two rounds made its way onto the field. “I’ll spend 7 play points to play Ursula, Dragon’s Pride!”

With only 6 attack points and as a rare card, there had to be something more.

“First off this card’s got [Blocker], so that’ll be nice, and…” He pointed at all four monsters on her side of the field, “When she’s summoned, she reduces the attack points of all your monsters by 2 attack points!”

Looking at her field, the only creature with over that was Sainthound Dominator with only 3. “What happens if they have two or less?”

“I remember someone saying they get sent to the Graveyard… Don’t quote me on that though.”

Just before offering to look it up on his phone, Sarah stopped herself. Never again.

Resigned to the supposed ruling, Sarah set Prominence Vine and Scrapper to the Graveyard before handing Stormstrider back.

“Cool. There’s also something else I almost forgot.” He shifted the card he set to the side on his previous turn, “Decree gives Ursula [Sonic Strike].”

Sarah gulped.

“But I’m not going to use it. I need to keep a [Blocker] on my side of the field, or your Dominator could get me directly…”

Fuck. I’m going to need something big. Drawing her card, her shoulders perked up a bit, That’ll have to do!

Adding her eighth play point to the line, she set a card face down behind her shields, “I’ll set a trap. And with my remaining six play points, I’ll summon Yesod, Victory of Firmament!” A rare card of her own, Sarah grinned, “Literally this and Sunlifter were my best pulls from those packs.”

“It’s not too bad..” Mike said, drawing his next card and setting down his ninth play point.

He’s almost there…

“I hate to do this-” He looked at her for a second, “Wait, no I don’t. It’s about sending a message, right?” With a coy smile, another familiar card hit the field, “I’ll play out Meat Grinder Fibre, targeting itself and your Dominator.”

With a roll of her eyes, she placed Dominator in the Graveyard.

“Noice. I’ll also throw in an Innocence Lost, it lets me pop a creature that hasn’t used it’s strike yet, so I’ll get that guy too!” Looking at his only remaining card on his field, Mike placed his chin back in his hand, “I’m still not going to attack with Ursula, you run a few [Sonic Strikes]...”

After her opponent’s hand wave, Sarah set up her turn, now with 9 play points. FUCK. I should’ve ended this while I had the chance. Looking out the window, time seemed to have gotten away from her. The sky was now completely dark save a few specks of light, but thankfully no bright blue trucks underneath it. I’m going to have to plan this out.

After a few moments, she plucked a card from her hand, “I’ll spend 8 play points to summon Melinda, Cunning Matron from my hand.” With a rubbing of her eyes, Sarah smiled, “That’s my most expensive card in my deck.”

“Uh, I think that Carbuncle might be worth a whole lot more than an uncommon?”

“Oh, I meant in play points. She came with the structure deck.”

With a flourish, Mike delicately picked up the top card of his deck, “Well, I’ll show you mine in terms of both!” In a fashion both daintily and excitedly, Mike slapped down his boss monster, “I summon Sterben, Keeper of Fiction!”

There it was, a 10 play point, 11 attack creature. With the large amount of text on the card, Sarah knew she would not have to read it, her opponent would excitedly tell her what it did.

“Alright, so take the bottom three cards in your deck.” Mike waited until Sarah picked the cards out of her already thin deck, “Cool, those are your new deck, everything else gets put in the Graveyard.”

“What the fuck?!” Sarah did as she was told, incredulous all the while, “Is that even legal?”

Back to his grin, Mike continued, “Yup, it’s easily the schnastiest card in the game!” He turned the bank account on cardboard sideways, “Don’t forget Decree gives him [Sonic Strike], so he gets to attack this turn as well!”

“Oh my fuc-”

Mike placed his hand up, “Oh, and pick up two shields, Sterben has [Double Strike] like your Sunlifter. I’ll end my turn.”

Sarah sat agape as she picked up the two cards, hoping for a comeback in this unfair world. Her eyes glimmered as she got the last piece she needed.

Speaking of Sunlifter, it’d be super spiffy if I pick him up about now…

Closing her eyes before picking up the top card of her deck, her years of Sunday school early in life came back. However, opening them caused her to remember why she quit going years ago.

Sarah looked at her facedown trap card. I still have a shield left. I need to save this for the last possible moment. Looking through her hand, she actually felt hopeful despite the combined 17 attack points on her opponent’s side of the field.

“I’ll just play Nix, Firmament’s Blade.”

“Uh, bruh?” Mike picked up the 1 play point card, “Don’t you play an aggressive deck? What is this [Blocker] doing in there?”

A simple shrug was all Sarah could do, “I got, like, four of them in the starter deck. They’re ‘Miracle’ cards, so it seemed to be fine.”

Setting it back down, Mike laughed. “So you’re just going to use 1 play point even after getting all ten?”

“I guess so! I don’t really have much else to play.” Sarah gave a cheesy grin.

“Alrighty then, I guess I got this game!” Having hit 10 play points last turn, he made sure not to add an eleventh. “But just in case…”

A carefully wrapped Toaster Fibre hit the field, seemingly out of place with his all-star line up of Ursula and Sterben.

“You love to see it!” Sarah flipped a card from her hand, “I’ll go ahead and render that card [Strikeless] with my Subspace Assault you gave me from my shields!”

Shocked for a moment, Mike quickly regained his composure, “Wait, that card was in your hand?”

With a covered laugh, Sarah continued, “Melina lets me activate Trap cards from my hand! Why the fuck else do you think she costs 8 play points?”

While a bit shaken up, Mike continued, “That’s fine, I can still win the game with this!”

Flipping eight of his remaining play points, he places another creature on the field, “I’ll play Nacht Verfolger, Elderbeast of Rays! And don’t forget…” He tapped the field spell, not removing eye contact from Sarah. “So…”

Turning the freshly summoned ‘Behemoth’ creature sideways, “I’ll draw two cards on his summon and target your shield with his [Double Strike]!”

Biting her lip, Sarah prayed it was the last trick up his sleeve, “I’ll block with Nix.”

The one play point creature only had 2 attack points, easily losing out to the Elderbeast’s 6, prompting her to send the pitiful card to the Graveyard with the rest of her deck.

“I really want to hold onto my [Blocker], so I’m breaking your last shield with Sterben!” Turning the card sideways, Sarah was forced to pick up her last remaining shield. With no further action from her, Mike began to sweat, “Bruh… It’s just right there…”

Sarah grinned. “No joke, I don’t have any more traps in my hand.” She turned the cards she kept to herself the whole game to her opponent. “Seriously, I’ve got a whole lotta nothing.”

Scanning over her cards and looking at the distinct lack of shield cards on the field, Mike gulped. “Y-yeah! I‘ve got this game in the bag! You would’ve used that trap you have face down turns ago if it actually did something!”

Turning the ‘Heathen’ card sideways, Mike pointed towards her, “With that, I will attack with Ursula for game!”

“Man, this woulda been way more dramatic if you used Sterben last…” Flipping over the face down, Sarah leaned back.

Display of Might: a 2 play point ‘Miracle’ trap spell. When your opponent attacks with a creature with 5 or more attack points, negate the attack.

“I would’ve used this way earlier, but I kinda was hoping Sunlifter was in my shields. Woulda made this so much faster!”

“Big oof.” Mike held out his hand, “Go ahead and go for game.”

Shaking his hand, Sarah turned Melinda sideways.