The pitter-patter of snow lightly hitting the window caused Sarah to stir. After finally finding that one spot on her bed that felt just right, she was prepared to enjoy the rest of her day off right in the middle of it.

Slowly drifting into a warm lull once more, the sound of heavy thumping outside of her door painfully dragged her from her peaceful repose. Footsteps ran back and forward excitedly in the living room.

Has Albert finally fucking snapped and let a cow come in here?

Jolting her upright, the thumping bass found the way to the front of her door. “Hey Worst Sister! You can’t stay in bed all day! It’s Christmas!”

Making her grievances with being dragged out of bed loudly known, she slid on a shirt and shorts before it all came back to her.

“Shit. I forgot Albert gets a little too excited for the holidays…” Looking around the room, she tried to find something in her slowly expanding territory of the storage room to give to him as a gift. “I don’t think he’s a make-up kind of guy…”

Aside from loose cards, a sleeping Carbuncle, her phone she had barely even touched and unwashed clothes not made to fit what would be described as a bear of a man, she had nothing to hand over. I’ll just have to get him something later…

Stepping out of the room, she was met with bright lights and warm smells. The living room had transformed from a simple den with outdated furniture, carpet and dog to a Christmas village complete with lights strung along the walls, a small locomotive chugging around a well-adorned tree, and a small nativity scene in the corner with a small stuffed goat taking the place of baby Jesus.

“There’s little miss Grinch!” Albert shouted across the room, stuffing his face with a turkey leg, steam rising from his mouth with every word.

Aubrey rose from behind the counter, putting a fresh tray of stuffing before her, “You got up just in time! Albie here was gonna eat our entire Christmas dinner for breakfast.”

“Aw babe, you know I love my sister enough to leave her something!” He sat back and loosed a large belch, “Well, she probably would’ve had to fight Mr. Harrison for the leftovers.”

After a few rounds of Anarcho-Capitalist Monopoly picked up from the second-hand store a few years back, the three of them took their spots on the furniture.

“So dumb-dumb, you’re still on your ‘World-wide Winning Railroad Strategy’? You know you could just buy out a mid-tier section of the map and do way better?” Sarah sat back in her recliner with Carbuncle contentedly sitting in her lap, invisible to most of the room.

“Hey, don’t knock it! It’s on all sides of the map, and can always catch someone who’s not expecting it!” He took a quick sip of his beer, “Plus, it kept getting Prince Salman! Remember that kid obsessed with Becky?”

“Holy shit, I’ll never forget about that little sperg! Kid proposed to her probably ninety times while we were there those two months. I can’t ever imagine Becky as Arabic royalty!”

With the two of them laughing, Aubrey sat back, babying her wine glass, “Wow. It’s so crazy how you both can just throw out you know princes and princesses like it’s nothing.”

Placing a comforting arm around his girlfriend, Albert kept his wide smile, “What can I say babe, we’re well traveled! Sare-bear, how many languages do you know again?”

Rolling her eyes at the forced nickname, Sarah relented, “Fifteen, but I haven’t used most of them in a long while…”

Albert continued his posturing, “See babe? Even my worst sister is cultured!”

Joining in with her own stilted laugh, Aubrey sat back against him, “Wow. Your family really got to do a whole bunch! You must be really lucky to have parents that’d let you do that...” As she took another sip, she noticed her boyfriend’s face grow solemn for the first time on his favorite day of the year. “Oh, I’m sorry dear, I didn’t mean to-”

“No. It’s fine.” With a deep sigh he turned towards Sarah, causing her to jump a little in her chair, “So how is the old man? I should probably ask this at least once while you’re still here.”

“Oh, uh… He’s fine. He was super into Judo before I left. Said something about moving up the ladder faster than anyone else alive right now…”

Albert continued to stare at her before leaning forward and looking at the ground before him, “Sounds like he hadn’t changed much… I talked to mom the other day and she pretty much said the same thing.”

Trying to hide her surprise, Sarah leaned back in the recliner, nearly panicking as she leaned too far back. Holy shit. He still talks to mom?

“I talk to her about once a year, before you ask. She’s never asked me to come back, as much as I’m sure she wants me to. I think she of all people understands that I don’t want to stay in dad’s shadow…”

Letting go of her chest and fears of her brother’s new mind reading ability, she sat upright once more, “I get it. You want something of your own you can be proud of.”

“Yeah…” He continued to look at the floor, Aubrey sitting up and rubbing his back, “The man’s weird, but he’s a once-in-a-lifetime force. I can’t be asked to fill the shoes of someone like that.”

Aubrey cleared her throat, “Why- why don’t you tell him that?” She pulled back a little, “I mean, I never met the man, but he’s still your dad. He should understand how you feel. Plus,” she gestured around the festive room, “You get to show him what you’ve made yourself. I think anyone would be proud of that!”

With his own half-chuckle, Albert leaned back and put his arm around Aubrey, “You’re right, babe. I think it’s about time the old man gets to see all the work I put in to spite him.”

“Oh!” More nimbly than one would expect from such a man, Albert jumped to his feet and ran across the room to the tree, nearly stepping on the innocent train just chugging along underneath, “I think it’s time to open presents!”

Looking away from the ball of radiant joy, Sarah craned her neck to look over at Aubrey, “What, you guys don’t open presents first thing in the morning?”

“He always said Christmas ended when you finished opening the presents.” She shrugged before having a stack of presents shoved onto her lap.

Before she could add anything, Sarah had three shoved into her lap, phasing through Carbuncle.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Albert excitedly leaned towards the both of them, “Are you gonna open them?” With nothing more than a grateful smile, Aubrey went to work on tearing up the uneven wrapping paper stuck to the boxes she was handed.

“Why are there three?” Sarah picked up the boxes and shook them.

“Well, one’s from me, from Aubrey, and from Mr. Harrison!”

“The dog?”

“He’s got good taste in guessing what you’d like! He went with me to get both of your gifts!” The old dog barely moved even when hearing his name. There had been days where Sarah had to plan out a way to tell her brother Mr. Harrison had finally gone to the great chewed up sofa in the sky. Surprisingly, he seemed to be fine by the time Albert walked in the house. He really only moved when he heard the sound of his food hitting a bowl and even that warranted a few minutes of huffing and creaky joints.

Carbuncle stepped out from the boxes on Sarah’s lap, before shaking himself and sitting on her armrest. “Squeak!”

“But I didn’t get you anything…” The pains of being away from home hurt more than they ever had before. Here Albert took her in on the spot, lent her his truck a couple times to go to work, and bought her Christmas presents.

With a quick handwave, the big man still sat cross-legged on the worn beige carpet, “Nah, no worries. You might be the worst sister, but you’re still my sister!”

Fuck… That was so fucking cheesy.

“Why don’t you open mine first? I worked hard on making it!” Aubrey put aside a new set of crystal stemware, hopping up and down excitedly.

Doing anything to stop the waterworks from letting loose, she delicately danced around the loosely constructed wrapping around the old cardboard box with her hand. Sarah made sure not to tear up where Aubrey wrote her name over her boyfriend’s masterful presentation.

“Oh… It’s a hoodie…?” The mess of browns and whites vaguely formed a hood with a shoulder shawl. A matching pair of brown pajama pants obviously not made by the sewing savant that was Aubrey also sat in the box.

“Put it on! And don’t forget the red nose!” Aubrey shouted, holding a new serger, eager to bring her creations to a whole new level.

After realizing the hood had reindeer horns and ears attached, Sarah grew as red as the rubber ball she wore on her nose. She had no choice but to stand in the embarrassing attire, thankful they were in the remote Missouri wilderness.

“I was so worried about the size, but I think I did well!” Aubrey tried her best not to laugh.

“Well, it looks like it’s ‘Rudumb the Spoiled Reindeer’!”

Quickly pushing back the hood and throwing the nose across the room, Sarah sat down with her other two gifts, “Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the fucking gift…” Picking up the one from her brother, she tore the paper less meticulously. Opening to find a plush dinosaur, nothing could stop the flood of tears this time.

“I told you she’d love it!” Albert shouted, standing up in a new pair of overalls he quickly threw over his worn ones. He jumped around in his double layers before finally reading the room. Walking over and quickly regretting wearing two pairs of denim overalls, he put his large hand on his sister’s head. “It’s a recreation of an old stegosaurus stuffed animal I had as a kid. She always tried to steal it from me, until I lost it on a flight a long time ago.”

Carbuncle hopped over to sniff the toy buried deep in Sarah’s arms.

After a good cry and her roommates finishing their gift openings, Sarah had one left, “Fuck, man, I don’t deserve any of this…”

Albert laughed loudly, still looking like a certain Italian plumber, “Well, we can just say this made up for missing the last few birthdays and Christmases!” Jumping around in some new ‘Sloggin’ Toes’, he nearly shook the house, “Anyways, open Mr. Harrison’s present! He worked hard on picking it out!”

With another glance at the possibly dead dog, Sarah was almost afraid of losing her cool again with this next gift. Between being the most humiliated and most nostalgic she had in years, she was afraid what this ‘God’s gift to gift giving’ was about to deliver.

Inside was another box set of Ascendants of the Apocalyptic Adventure with a strange note signed ‘Jeff Rotewasser’. “Holy shit! How did you get one of these? And who’s this guy?”

Albert shrugged, “I dunno. I just ran into him while out buying Aubrey’s present with Mr. Harrison. Some old guy came running up to me saying he was being chased and Mr. Harrison went all ape shit and bit some dudes.”

Again, Sarah had to check to make sure the dog was at least still breathing.

“I said something about buying you a gift and that you liked cards and he said knew something about those cards you played and hooked me up with one of these! Is it the right one?”

With an eager nod rocking her unstyled curls, she made a silent prayer for good pulls, “You better your ass monster, brother.”

Sarah groaned as the clock struck 5 AM. The dark surrounding the coffee shop on the edge of the city felt remote and cold. Having just got in, Sarah removed her earmuffs and coat. Taking her seat on her typical stool, she turned to open the window behind her, exclusively for morning coffee drive-thru orders. In her now month of working in the Cardinal Cafe, she had only suffered through this shift only once before.

“Hopefully ‘Pissy Pete’ won’t show up this morning…” As she sat at the window, feeling the cool air hit her face, a few customers entered the lobby.

Soon, the lobby was filled with elders and fogies alike, either reminiscing about how money used to be paper sometimes or complaining about their grandsons using a smart contract to buy skins for their virtual avatars. They shuffled around, talking about how their favorite anchor on Cox news said something about the upcoming presidential election is just a ploy to register their information so the government knows what cat food to recommend to them.

As Sarah prepared an iced Ristretto 10 pump venti frappe mochachino with breve, the shop was overcome by an unnatural silence. The normal early birds quit their chirping for once and all had their eyes glued to the television on the far wall. The sound of not one, but three pairs of dentures hit the ground as most stood with their mouths agape with what was occurring.

Countless flashes flew in from off screen, bathing the scene in continuous flashes of white much like a particularly angry storm one would only find when surrounded by open water. As they began to slow down in rate, a strange looking older man sat at a conference table, surrounded by microphones, looking curiously at each one as if he had never seen such devices. With the room as silent as a crypt, everyone could actually hear the panicked commentator’s audio.

“-alive! Political scholars are researching to see if there is any precedent, but I’ll just go ahead and tell you now, there isn’t any.”

“I know Dave, the fact that this is actually happening still continues to blow my mind!”

“Wait- We’re are now getting word that Mr. William Harrison has gotten the approval to resume his term as the president of these United States after President O’Neill finishes his term!”

As the televised audience cheered, it was there, at 5:32 in morning, that William Henry Harrison, the 9th United States president who died 31 days into his office term in 1841, had been resurrected and allowed to continue his term of presidency.

The room remained silent as one could see a small cloud of smoke forming above as the old folks sat stunned and continued to process what had just occurred. “I told you they wanted me to buy Curina cat food!”

As the panic quickly faded, Sarah glanced over at Carbuncle on a table off to the side of the counter, preoccupied with a napkin dispenser, too busy entertaining himself to get caught up in what might be another ACE monster they would eventually have to face.

Fuck. Can they really do that? I mean possessing a person is one thing, but reviving someone from the fucking dead?!

Watching Carbuncle become so innocently entertained with the ancient restaurant equipment relieved of some of her concerns, but the nebulous black hole of questions and anxieties continued to consume. With a deep sigh, she crossed her arms.

I might as well trust him a little more than I have been. Even if he is evil, if he dies, I die.

“Psst! Carbuncle!”

Perking up his ears and standing on his hind legs to look onto the counter, he nodded as Sarah motioned him closer.

“Hey. Can your kind bring people back to life?” She made sure to whisper as a man continued to stand in front of the counter, still squinting at the menu above her for half an hour now, as everyone accepted him as some strange piece of furniture.

“Squeak?” He turned his head as if actually unable to understand her for once.

She motioned across the room towards the television now displaying a man dressed in a high collared dress shirt, a look the news commentator says is now sweeping social media. “See that guy on the T.V.? He died just over 200 years ago, but he’s now walking around like nothing happened! What the fuck?”

Carbuncle glanced over, turned back, and almost shrugged. Apparently human anatomy and the decaying process was something he was not well versed nor had an interest in.

“But you aliens can do something like that? Or something like possessing Freakazoid? What else can you guys do? What are you going to do to me?” The last line came out a bit louder than Sarah expected, choking her up a little.

“Squeak?” Carbuncle hopped towards her, placing a paw on her arm. While he tried his best to not phaze through her, his eyes locked in on hers, unwavering.

With a quick swallow, Sarah chuckled, “Alright dude, no need to be fuckin’ cheesy with me…” Attempting to brush him off, she turned as the bell indicated a driver pulled up to the window behind her. Opening the window brought in a cool breeze and a familiar face.

The old man could easily bench press five men of a similar age. His styled mustache glistened with fresh beeswax in the storm light that hung over the drive thru window he stood in, drenched in sweat.

“Oh, it’s you, Bellisima...”

Her breath got caught in her throat, causing Sarah to close the window and cough out in protest. Opening the window again after hacking up a lung, she frowned, “You can’t just show up at my work and freak me out, old man.”

Taken aback with the forwardness, Bruno cleared his throat, “Sorry… I’ve been coming here for years and never knew.”

With a shrug, Sarah leaned out the window, “It’s cool, I’ve only done this shift twice now. You actually drink coffee?”

The man was drenched in sweat, no doubt this is what has led him to being so fit well past his prime. Chills in the air made Sarah wish she could go back in the shop and close the window while Bruno seemed unphased by it all. “Yes. I like a little pick-a-me-up after my third workout before taking little Ricardo to school.” His thick Italian accent choked Sarah again, trying her best in front of the man who threw in an extra syllable in 'pick-me-up'.

After a long enough pause and enough false starts, Bruno broke the ice, “So, bellissima, have you considered my offer? I’m sure you want out of this war as much as I do…”

She held her chin for a second. She quickly considered before even questioning what would happen if she did that. “Nah, I kinda can’t just back out. You get it.”

For the second time in a row, Bruno took half a step back in surprise, “But, don’t you want to go back to a normal life and not worry about what the ACE creatures want from us? Don’t you just not want to fight altogether?” He almost seemed to be pleading with her.

“Nah, my life was kinda in the shitter before this.” She casually started to pick her ear, “At least this gives me a purpose for now. Besides, my ACE is pretty fuckin’ chill. He just sleeps and chirps all day.”

Bruno’s well-toned and trained heart could not take all this, “What- I-?” He finally composed himself, “I guess that makes us enemies, then…”

“No need to jump to that, dude. We can just, you know, not have to play cards against each other. Pretty easy thing to avoid, really. That way no one has to di-” Sarah’s casual facade was quickly beginning to fade as the old man began to pace excitedly in the drive thru.

“No, you don’t understand…” With another deep sigh, he met her eyes, overtaken with a burning conviction, “We will have an ACE creature duel. I’ll give you until next week to prepare.”

“Wait, dude, no need to jump to that! One of us will di-”

Without another word, Bruno jogged out from the window and towards the direction of town.

“Shit. That didn’t go well…” Sarah closed the door and internally reveled with the heated building, “I even said we could work together and he turned that down for some reason.”

Maybe his ACE creature has something over him? That giant Shakespeare turtle did seem pretty antsy to fight me back then…

Walking towards the glowing creature, unseen by everyone else in the room, she gave Carbuncle a soft pet on the head, trying not to phase through. “Well buddy, we got our first ACE duel next week. We need to do all we can to make sure none of us do something stupid."