Chapter 201

Arc 17 - Shadowy World - Part 11

Sometime before the death of God:

"I want you to have this," Nazar spoke in a calm tone as he passed a small rectangular device to the other person in front of him. "I want you to become Ion."

"..."

They stared at this God blankly for a few moments before letting out a soft grunt, "No."

"What?" he was baffled. "But why not?"

"My work is already stressful enough as it is, mister. I would rather not add extra workload. And why would you want to stop being Ion?"

"That…"

Nazar lowered his gaze as a soft sad smile spread on his face.

"I see nothing but darkness in my near future."

"I thought you said time doesn't exist?"

"Well, yes, it doesn't. But I can access a different time, and in that, I either die or... Anyway, that's irrelevant. But can I depend on you?"

"No," they replied sternly.

Nazar sighed.

"One hundred thousand dollars each month as salary."

"..."

Their eyes widened.

"HUH?!"

"Mmhmm. I can spare that much with no problem."

"Stop looking down on me, you bastard," they did not like the way Nazar was showing off his wealth. "God, you are such an ass sometimes."

"Wow, that's rude."

"I don't care."

Nazar shook his head.

The other person took the small device and said, "I am not a hero."

"Neither am I."

"Right."

"Just try to be active, and…"

"I understand, I will keep an eye on those you care about."

"Thank you," he nodded in gratitude.

"But what am I going to do with my day job?"

"How long is that?"

"On a good day, around ten hours. On a bad day, could go up to sixteen."

"What the fuck?!" he was shocked at those inhumane numbers. "That sounds miserable."

"Thanks," they replied bitterly.

"Leave it then. I will add a hundred or so more to it."

They snorted, "What's a hundred dollars going to do?" Soon after, they added in a low voice, "But one hundred thousand is still a lot, far more than you realise. Thanks."

"Oh, I meant a hundred thousand. But I can add--"

"Seriously?!" they blurted out in shock. "Stop throwing around money like that."

He was baffled by their behaviour. "What are you, my mom?"

"Thank god, I am not."

Fair enough, I will pay you less then.”

“On second thought...”

The two of them laughed.

“Thanks, Haru, I appreciate it.”

“Mm,” she nodded.

လလလ

Soon after, Haru found herself struggling to breath as she was held by the neck by a so-called hero.

Once she revealed herself to him, Eddie’s anger slowly dimmed.

Haru took a few moments to regain her composure, Haru let out a soft sigh.

After she explained everything, she said angrily, “What is wrong with you?”

“I--”

“What is wrong with you heroes and just starting to kill someone before, oh, I don’t know, speak to THEM?! YOU KNOW, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!”

“I...” Eddie swallowed his thick saliva full of guilt. “I am sorry. I truly am.”

“You should be.”

Hearing her harsh tone, Eddie stepped back mid-air.

While he is far stronger than her, he doesn’t want to risk a psychic blast from her.

Honestly, she should have fried my brains by now, he thought with heart full of guilt. She is being kind.

Eddie was quite surprised she had not done that already.

After all, he nearly killed her.

Eddie glanced down as he bit his tongue.

What the hell did I just do...

He realised the mistake he was about to make; he is glad he stopped, but he went too far. He went so far, he can never put it behind him. Even though he stopped himself, he can never forgive himself.

“Haru, look, I am… sorry. I really am. I don’t--”

“Oh, will you shut up already?!” Haru shouted at him in annoyance. “Seriously, just shut up for a moment. And what’s an apology going to do, huh? What if I was dead?!”

Eddie nodded.

“I understand the mistake I made is grave and unforgivable.”

Haru stared at him with a complicated look in her eyes.

“Right.”

She could not forgive him, after all, she nearly died, but she could slightly understand where he might have been coming from.

“Whatever, what’s done is done, but I hope that I don’t find your arms around my neck again, or else I will leave you braindead. My skills aren’t perfect, but Nazar had shown me all the tricks, and trust me on this, blondie, you don’t want me to drop you dead without even touching you. Or leave you in a state worse than death itself. Do we understand each other?”

Eddie nodded at the angry words of Haru.

“Great, wonderful. Glad we understand each other.”

The armour extended and covered Haru’s face once again.

“By the way, if it wasn’t for the last-minute protection of the armour, I would have been dead instantly.”

While Eddie’s heavy heart was burdened further with guilt, Haru scoffed.

Shit...

“This armour is something amazing,” she added in a happy yet barely audible tone.

And so, Haru began to fly far away from Eddie, leaving him all alone with nothing but his guilt.

The guilt of saying those terrible words to his friend, the guilt of not apologising, and the guilt of nearly killing Haru.

His mind and heart began to bloat, almost as if it would explode from the varying emotions he was feeling.

His heart began to pain - he wasn’t sure if it was physical pain or otherwise - but the pain caused him to hold his chest in his hand and groan loudly.

“Ngh.”

He bent his back forward as he held himself tightly.

The pain spread from his heart to the rest of his body.

He felt as if the pain and guilt were consuming his entire soul.

And with every passing moment in pain, the physical form that made this man was vanishing. Like a dry wall of mud, it was cracking and falling down.

“Urgh!”

Just...

Eddie’s vision blurred as he started to fall.

What is...

He had landed the plane in the fields, but a few dozen miles away, there was the sea and above it, that’s where he found Haru.

Now that he lost consciousness, he fell into the blue waters and sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

လလလ

Days passed for Edward before he regained his consciousness.

As soon as he regained his consciousness, without knowing where he was, he flew up and up.

Upon opening his eyes, he realised where he was, so he increased his speed and left the waters.

As soon as he left the waters, he gagged and vomited the water that was stored in him.

“What… *cough*... What happened?”

He flew above the clouds and analysed his surroundings.

While looking around, he noticed the Celestial Judge, who still watched over this world.

Damn that thing.

Eddie sighed as he breathed in the fresh air.

However, he could not feel the air in the same fashion as he could in the past.

Wait...

Eddie touched his lip with his hand, but in doing so, he gasped.

He realised something; he could not taste the water from earlier.

And now… he couldn’t feel his finger.

So, he glanced down at his hands, only to realise the skin had faded away.

“...Huh?!” Eddie stared at his body in horror.

He was nothing but energy, an abstraction.

I cannot feel my skin, my bones, or blood… Or cells for that matter. I lack matter.

Eddie scoffed in a self-mocking manner.

Or perhaps it’s the best he could do in this confusing situation.

And he scoffed again in a self-mocking and pitying manner.

And again.

And again.

“No... NOOO!”

However, the self-mocking died quickly after as he gritted his teeth.

“My humanity will not end like this; I will not end like this!” he shouted at the blue sky above him, at the heavens beyond the blue veil.

And so, he clenched his (energy) fists tightly and took control of himself.

He lacked cells, blood, muscles, bone, and skin.

But he had conviction.

I should have REALLY listened to Nazar when I could...

Nazar was a smart man, an intelligent creature whose understanding of matter and energy was far beyond most. He would often explain to Eddie the ways of how he could employ such primal aspect of the cosmos to his will and aid him in time of need, but Eddie would not listen to his friend. Eddie found his topics boring.

If only I could go back in time...

He clicked his tongue - or at least tried to.

Eddie clenched his entire (energy) body and groaned loudly.

Like a madman, he willed his body to go through a change.

“AAAARRRGGHHHHHHH!!”

From nothing came in cells, then bones, then muscles, then blood, and then finally, the skin.

As if he was a new man, Eddie sighed in a relieved manner.

Oh...

He glanced down at his new body, which looked no different than before but felt different, and chuckled.

“Oh, this is... Haha… Glorious!”

The sudden panic after seeing himself as energy caused something to change within him.

Something he did not know he could do.

Right… he realised something, something so amazingly simple which he hadn’t noticed since the day he got his powers. I was a scrawny kid, but after getting these powers, I was transformed… A new body, in a way.

He rubbed the back of his head as he sighed again.

“It seems I had a back-up body… Sort of.”

He chuckled.

“Reconstructing that body… This is interesting.”

However…

“Urk?!”

He felt a sudden pain within him, a pain that made him feel empty.

Before he could recover from the pain, he raised his shirt and looked under it, only to find out his body in the middle had vanished.

The skin he wore was temporary.

His right hand also began to vanish.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit...”

As he began to panic, he screamed out loudly.

He forced his body and mind, he willed himself to retain his physical form.

He did everything he could think of, he prayed to every God he had heard of, he used every spell he had learned, and...

And it worked.

By the Gods, it worked.

He was more surprised than anyone else.

Whatever I did, whatever happened, I slowed down my metamorphosis.

Eddie groaned.

“If one day’s worth of metamorphosis will take one week, then…. Even without using my powers, which is not enough. That is nowhere near enough for...”

Eddie rubbed his forehead as he exhaled loudly.

His eyes welled up ever so slightly.

I am as good as dead, aren’t I…?

Biting his lip, he tried to stop the anger and pain from flowing out of him, but unfortunately for him, he couldn’t.

His mouth opened as a rage as powerful as the big bang was unleashed.

His screams parted the clouds over the blue seas, his screams shook the stars and galaxies, his screamed tore apart nearby dimensions with it. The walls between those dimensions ceased existing for a split second.

It was the range not of a man, but a man powered by the Gods from the legends.

The Celestial Judge watched Eddie closely, but it did not do anything.

It could not do anything.

“WWWWHHHYYYYY?!”

The age old question, the question which has been asked since the dawn of time.

It was the question of a dying man, he wanted to know why the universe hated him so much.

“WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE? WHY DID I HAVE TO SAY ALL THOSE THINGS? WHY...” Eddie swallowed his saliva before continuing. He looked down at himself with broken eyes. “Why do I have to die? What have I done to deserve...?”

Eddie forcefully bit his tongue, stopped himself from making any sound.

“Why...” a small cry began to escape his lips. “Why…?”

The Celestial Judge knew the answer to his question, it was a simple answer.

However, the judge kept its mouth shut.

It did not answer, it is not allowed to answer.

Why is this happening to me?

လလလ

Eddie managed to gather his thoughts and willed some of his body to return to its former self, even if it wasn’t as perfect as it should have been.

As he gathered his thoughts, he forced his body to return to normal, but it began crumbling away soon after - however, less so than before.

Fuck...

Eddie began to fly towards New York City slowly without wasting more time over these blue waters.

He continued to think along the way, he continued to think about what he will tell his sister, his parents, and his girlfriend.

But there was no answer in this tiny mind of his.

I suppose I should let the moments force my words out.

After a few minutes of flying alone, he reached his apartment and phased through the glass, entering it.

It was well late in the afternoon, but he did not expect to see someone waiting for him.

Ah.

A red-haired and blue-eyed woman was worriedly sitting on the sofa, waiting for him.

For a split second, he was overwhelmed with happiness as he saw her after so long, but then a bitter and sour emotion overwhelmed the light in his heart. As if he were stabbed in the chest with a cursed blade, Eddie felt physical pain for how quickly his happiness vanished.

“H-” Eddie cleared his throat. “Hi,” he said with a soft smile.

“Where. Have. You. Been?!” as she walked towards him hurriedly, she asked angrily.

She slapped him on the shoulder with great force, however, he could not feel it.

His arm’s skin is not good enough to register contact with it.

“You have been gone for over a week!” she slapped him on his arm again.

And she slapped his arm once again. And again. And again.

With ever slap, Eddie could notice more water in his eyes, and as time went on, few drops of tears dropped from her reddened eyes.

“Where were you? What happened?”

“...”

Eddie smiled softly.

“Nothing…”

The smile on his face began to fade away quickly as he glanced down at her with bitter eyes.

“I...”

Shutting his eyes close, Eddie softly added, “I am dying.”

“...”

Jessica had swung her arm again, trying to slap him, but as she heard those words, with wide eyes and mouth, she looked up at him and froze in her place.

“What?” she asked slowly. “What… What the hell do you mean?”

She chuckled.

“You-you are joking, r-right?”

“No,” a soft word escaped Eddie’s lips as he shook his head, “I wish.”

Jessica moved her hands slowly and placed it on his face.

“How?” she asked slowly.

“I… I overused my powers. Somehow, somewhere along the way, a metamorphosis process had begun, and… I feel like my life is ending, the thread that sustained me until now is… It no longer exists.”

“...What?!” she did not understand his reasoning, she did not understand anything.

“I am...”

He lifted his shirt up, showing the cracks in his skin to her.

Upon seeing that, she gasped loudly as she covered his mouth with her palms.

In a state of fear and surprise, she had taken a step back as well.

“Last time I lost my physical form, I disintegrated into nothing, or was going to, if not for Nazar. But now… He is not here anymore. And I am not sure if anyone can keep my form safe.”

“...”

“And if that doesn’t happen… I will explode. But even if it doesn’t, I…”

Eddie scoffed bitterly.

“I am already losing chunks of my memory. And by tomorrow, who knows, I might not even...”

He extended his arm, trying to touch her face, but she took a step back, increasing the distance between them.

She was just a human, a human who was used to the ways of Eddie's world.

She would not understand.

“No...” she said slowly. “Don’t do this to me.”

And so, she took another step back, and then another.

“No, no.”

She turned around and ran out of the apartment.

Eddie could follow her, but then again, what is he going to do?

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath.

Eddie closed his eyes shut and sucked in a deep breath.

He was dying and so was everything else, and there was nothing he could do about either of those.

He could not save himself; he wasn't strong enough.

In the past, Eddie could see the future but he lost that ability due to the future ceasing to exist. However, since the timeline had been fixed slightly, he could know the future, but not as explicitly. He knows of multiple upcoming possibilities and each one leads to darkness.

There is no victory for him.

However…

Eddie narrowed his eyes.

He did not give up.

He couldn't give up.

If he does, then who is going to save him?

"I don't know how long I can last, I don't know how many hours or minutes, so…"

His eyes exploded with blueish white energy.

"It's time to stop holding back and see if I can find a way to save myself."

He considered himself a hero, a hero who will do anything to save people, but he had to learn that he can never save everyone.

Casualties will always exist because of his actions.

And today, he might become another causality of his power.

"I need to live!"

❢◥ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◆ ▬▬▬▬▬▬ ◤❢

??? - ????:

It was the first of Sii of the year fifty-fifty-two. And...

The year changed just hours ago, and here I am, working in this frosty night, looking at the dazzling lights of this city, the dazzling cities which light up the smiles of the happy people… but not mine.

I watch as the happy people move past me, they are enjoying themselves, but I am not.

Neither are my co-workers.

After all, this is what we always do. Always have done. And… always will do.

We are failures in life.

We are the failures of society.

But…

This is the world we live in.

We are not made equal.

We cannot be equal.

That is the unwritten law.

As the man stood in one place for hours, keeping the crowds safe from any potential threat, he heard something. He heard something he had never heard before, and perhaps never will again.

And in the next second, everything went dark.

It was the first of Sii of the year fifty-fifty-two.

And…

I died.

လလလ

Darkness.

Darkness.

Darkness.

And every road led to darkness.

In every direction I run, I see nothing but darkness.

I don’t know how I long I have been here, but whatever it is…

The man breathed a sigh of relief.

Finally, life ended.

I wanted to experience something wonderful in life, but…

Suddenly, a bright white light began to shine on him, and then moments later, it started to swallow him.

The man tried to run as far away as he could, but the light was too fast, far too fast.

*Gasp*

The white light slowly began to fade away and this man started to see other colours.

His vision was blurry, and after a few seconds, he began to hear a distinct chatter.

Huh? What’s going on?

He gave his eyes a few moments to adjust to this new environment.

And once his vision was back, he glanced around and noticed something odd.

“...What?” he muttered under his breath as he glanced left and right.

I died.

However.

But now I am alive.

The man, now inside the body of his self from five years ago, when he was young, happy, and had hope for a brighter future.

This...

All his life, the one thing he found happiness was the study of time-space of the universe and time travel. While not impossible, by the time this world achieves it, it might take millions of years.

So, this felt like a chance from the heavens, from the Gods.

This was his chance to experience the most exhilarating of concepts in the cosmos.

To be able to time travel back to the past, to change his life and his destiny, and to be able to enhance the research done in the field.

After all, that was always his dream.

It was his one goal in life.

But...

In the back of his mind, dark images of his childhood, the darkness that haunted him, the darkness that destroyed the light and the hope within him.

This time, he narrowed his eyes. The conviction in his eyes could burn the universe. This time, I will be different. My future won’t be bleak...

He gasped loudly once again.

He was sitting in a class, and he could hear distant chatters from his surroundings, but it suddenly stopped.

And as he glanced around, his eyes widened and widened in horror.

All he could see what hopeful children like him, the hope and the children which were destroyed.

All around him, he could see nothing but dead children, dead friends.

“Wh-wha--”

Seeing blood and death with his own eyes, he couldn’t stomach it.

And so, he vomited as he fell down to his knees.

“What the--”

“『Do you want a second chance?』”

In the classroom of death, the teacher’s voice - albeit different than what he remembered - reached his ears.

“『A second chance to save your life?』”

The man - now inside the body of his younger self - could not do anything but pant heavily.

“『However, as it happens, if you return, someone must pay the price for your resurrection. For example, your old friends.』”

His heart skipped a beat.

“『Mm, it’s fine, take your time to decide. After all, I have an entire eternity.』”

“Wh… What are you?!” in a grungy voice, the man shouted at his “teacher”. “What do you want?!”

“『You are a clown, and I have visited the circus.』”

His teacher crossed her legs as she sat on the table.

With a thin evil smile, she arched her palm, facing upwards, telling him to dance, “『Please, entertain me.』”

The man continued to growl and grunt in a painful manner and the teacher watched him with an evil and satisfied smile.

“『Suffer for me, my star pupil.』”

“N-no… NO!”

The man, still in pain and confusion, ran out of the classroom.

He ran and ran in the corridor, wanting to reach out for the help of someone.

However, the corridor started to expand and expand until infinity.

No matter how far he ran, the corridor’s length was ever increasing.

What… JUST WHAT IS THAT THING?!

“『Run from me?』”

Everything turned dark, and then, in the next moment, he found himself in the class, sitting in front of his teacher and the horde of death bodies.

“『Please.』”

The teacher rolled her eyes.

“『So, have you decided yet?』”

“No,” he blurted out without thinking about it.

“『Odd. But oh well--』”

“I mean, no, I would rather not resurrect.”

“『Hmmmm…』”

“I don’t care about my life, I always wanted to die, but… I would rather--" he swallowed his saliva to wet his dry throat. "Yes, I would rather die than live in this damned world. It’s just not worth all this death.”

“『Twice.』”

The teacher seemed rather angry.

So, she pulled the man towards him without even touching him.

Floating in the air, grasping for his breath and holding onto a life that won’t last long, the man uttered, “Puh-please...”

“『So, be it.』”

The teacher was quite disappointed.

I don’t want to die, this was my only ever chance, but… I will be walking the same path as before, just for a different reason. Different darkness, different suffering.

“『Suffer more for me.』”

And so, the teacher started to glow with a warm golden light.

All roads lead to darkness.

With a snap of her finger, the man’s soul was sent to a hell worse than this.

Only suffering awaited him, only suffering and nothing else.