《Save Me (GL)》See it
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Judy's P.O.V:
Sam's question took me by surprise, especially after what I just saw her do, I was still lost in my shock and happiness, Sam was showing clear signs of going against Brittney, which was a great first step.
So, it took me a While to understand what she just said, and after I did, I didn't know how to answer...
The reason was simple...
"I... I never was in a relationship..." I said with a shy smile.
Oh God if I wasn't embarrassed, even at my age I still hadn't gone through at least one relationship...
Seeing Sam's weird expression I tried hurriedly to explain:
"I- I never got attracted to anyone before... When my friends were talking about their crushes, their lovers and starting relationships I... I was in a mess because I didn't feel anything towards anyone... I mean I did find some people interesting... But... But that was all just interesting... Besides..." There I stopped for a bit, stole a glance at her before continuing:
"... Besides... All those who I found interesting were girls... And then I hadn't acknowledged who I truly was... I wasn't clear that I was gay... So that interest never got the chance to grow..."
I had to stop myself there because if I didn't I knew that I would end up confessing to her indirectly, which I didn't want to happen...
"... The... Then, how do you think your first relationship will be...?" It seemed as if Sam was searching for an answer of some kind, I didn't know what it was, but I still thought about what she asked seriously.
"I... I don't know... I will be just happy to be with her... To touch and kiss her... To hold her close... To listen to her telling me about what happened in her day... What she went through... All those small things... I just want my first relationship to be a happy one... To live with her happily... Yep, that's it... 'Our' happiness..." Those were my true thoughts... I also wanted Sam to understand again that it was her happiness that was the most important.
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"... Happiness..." Those were the only words she murmured.
Seeing her like that, I couldn't stop myself from asking a question... One which I didn't know if it was the right time to ask, one which had a chance of backfiring...
"Sam... Are... Are you happy in your relationship..."
As I said those words I was able to see her body shake, she stopped walking and seemed frozen, it wasn't till a long while later that she finally reacted.
She opened and closed her trembling lips a few times before finally pushing the words she wanted to say:
"... Happiness... I... I actually can't rem... Remember the last ti... Time I fel... Felt that with Brittney... I... I... I... Sob..." It seemed as if what I said had triggered something inside of her.
She seemed as if she was trying really hard to control herself while saying all of that, as if she didn't want to cry, yet at the end, she still let out a sob, but she soon stopped talking, took a deep breath and closed her eyes as if she was stopping herself from crying... Forcing herself to stop... And seeing her like that, I felt a sting in my heart.
"Sam..." I whispered while moving my hand towards her.
"No... Phew... It's alright... I just don't want to cry... I will deal with this..." She stopped me and said, I didn't know if she was talking to herself or me.
Taking my hand back, I saw a bench a few steps away, pointing towards it, I said:
"Let's sit and talk, you can take your breath there..."
Sam nodded and we sat, and again we fell into silence, but this time it didn't last for long, as Sam broke it:
"... Judy... Wha- what do you think about my relationship with Brittney... Just give me your honest thoughts... You probably noticed something didn't you..." She had a pained smile as she said that... As if she didn't want to believe what she was thinking, as if she was waiting for me to deny it, to help her stabilize her thoughts which were a mess.
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I could almost feel the plea in her eyes, it was there, asking me to notice it and to help her.
Unfortunately, I wasn't going to do that... That wasn't the help she needed...
I had been waiting for a chance like that since the moment I put my mind on helping her, and I wasn't going to waste it... There was a crack on the seal which was put on her by that Britteny at that moment, I didn't know what made that crack appear, but I wasn't going to waste such a rare chance.
Taking a deep breath I said, trying to make myself sound as serious and as determined as possible:
"Sam, I didn't like how she treated you yesterday, insulting you in front of other people, and forcing you to kiss her, I hate how you can't even get calls from friends... I hated how you couldn't even save my phone number in your phone, I hated how you acted around her, that's not how lovers should be around each other, and I hate how you put on a mask on your face as if you're alright... I hate how you can't even spend time with your friends."
The more I talked the angrier I got, I was so mad and I couldn't stop myself from saying more and more, as I talked, it seemed that memories of what I was talking about kept on flashing through my mind, making my flame burn even stronger.
"I hate all of that, you aren't happy, you are suffering, she doesn't love you, even if she does, that doesn't give her the right to treat you like that... Love needs mutual respect and understanding, things she's not giving you... And that's what a healthy relationship is built on, respect and understanding... Please understand that Sam..." I tried to get her to understand... To see.
"Her loving you doesn't mean that she can control you, nor disrespect you, you're a human being, not her toy..." I tried to destroy whatever that Brittney made her believe.
"Please, Sam... Notice it... Your relationship with her isn't right, there's something wrong with it... Just open your eyes and see it... Please... Sam..." I tried my best to free her from her prison which was her mind.
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