They were on their way back again, while Tomos still maintained a disgruntled silence. Well, Ayumu wasn’t unsympathetic, as he did realize that it was rather rude to totally ignore him, but the reaction was petty in his opinion.

...Not that he had the right to accuse others of being petty.

Ayumu sighed to himself but otherwise kept quiet. Masaru didn’t say anything either, but he could feel the giddiness in Masaru’s pace. And Ayumu honestly couldn’t blame his friend. He’d be over the moon too if Kei were given to him instead.

A small, bitter voice grumbled darkly about his friend’s good luck- how he can seemingly come out looking more fortunate even in these situations. It always has been like that… just like how those venomous thoughts always resurface from the dark corner of his brain.

And just like always, he pushed it to the back of his head. He refused to acknowledge it more than necessary.

Instead he concentrated on getting used to the empty stares of the disembodied eyes and the presence of the occasional Other in the streets. The former was easier said than done, while the latter was surprisingly trivial.

There weren’t many of them, for one… Well, the ones that didn’t perfectly mimic humans, perhaps. And even for the ones who weren’t exactly like regular humans, they only had one or two traits which differentiated them, being indistinguishable otherwise.

He admitted that some of them were only vaguely disturbing- while a woman with a long, prehensile, snake-like neck was undoubtedly creepy, the way her head swayed as though it was too heavy for her neck to carry was pretty funny once he got over it.

Same with the man who looked like a shriveled husk. As intimidating as his appearance might be at first glance, he looked so frail that Ayumu was sure the ‘man’ would keel over if he so much as touched him.

...Then again, he might be overestimating how safe he was. The fact they conspicuously avoided making eye contact reminded him that Tomos was probably keeping them at bay.

He kept looking around, feeling a bit more weary of the Other after remembering that they were being actively threatened to keep them off of him. Perhaps he was overestimating how willing they were to prey on humans, but he had been attacked twice within a few hours yesterday.

He wouldn't be comfortable with most Others for a long time still.

Ayumu was dragged out of his thoughts by the bicycle swerving closer to the sidewalk out of nowhere. Ayumu felt a jolt run through his spine as he felt like he was about to fall off, but he was able to cling on to the bike with his hands and feet, and he only barely registered a mass of black pass beside him. When he finally got his bearings he noted that Masaru had sped up considerably and caught a few pedestrians giving them looks.

But every other thought was replaced by terror at the sight of what Masaru had swerved to avoid- the same humanoid figure with spindly limbs and tar-like skin. Its pupil-less white eyes stared blankly at them while it began sprinting after them.

Ayumu wanted to say something, but his voice refused to cooperate with him. He could feel himself tremble from head to toe and the world around him moved at a sluggish pace.

He told himself that Tomos was with them and that nothing would happen, but he still felt himself recoil as the pitch-black figure gained on them.

Ayumu suppressed a shudder; before his eyes the already overlong limbs of the creature were elongating further, widening its stride and allowing it to slowly close the gap that had been created between them.

Within a few seconds the creature towered over them, its overlarge and unnaturally circular head having now exceeded the height of the lower traffic lights on the streets. Its steps now fell mere feet away from him and Ayumu was sure that its arms would close enough to swipe at them soon, making Ayumu briefly consider jumping off to let Masaru escape by himself.

Tomos was still inside his shadow, wasn’t he...?.

But they suddenly turned a corner, and Ayumu had to quickly shift his weight so that the bike didn’t topple over because of him. The creature tried to follow their swerve but its over-long limbs were not dexterous enough for the maneuver, causing it to fall flat on its face.

Ayumu breathed a sigh of relief as he eyed the prone figure rapidly shrinking into the distance. It had raised its circular head to face him, its blank eyes still unreadable, and it stretched out one of its hands shakily towards them.

Ayumu didn’t know what to do or think. Was the Other trying to ask for help…? Or was it some kind of ploy? Maybe the Other didn’t mean any harm and that’s why Tomos was unconcerned with its presence?

He could already feel his desire to tell Masaru to stop form in his heart, but…

He closed his eyes. Out of sight, out of mind. He couldn’t feel sorry for it and he couldn’t feel guilty about ignoring its plight. He was just being stupidly sentimental.

Even though he knew he was making the cowardly choice like always, he tried to justify his decision by telling himself that it wasn’t worth the risk to his and his friend’s safety, that he was erring on the side of caution.

He took a deep breath, and against the part of him which wished to remain guild-free, he asked Tomos, “Hey Tomos, do you know what that Other that was chasing us wanted?”

“Are you being serious, Ayumu?!” Masaru exclaimed disbelievingly as he panted from exertion.

“I-I don’t…” Ayumu stuttered, feeling incredibly stupid for even speaking up, but before he could concede that he was being an idiot, Tomos spoke up for the first time.

“That Other, if I’m not mistaken, was a Terrorborn. They are, more or less, a personal bogeyman which has become an Other because its fear and anecdotes spread throughout a handful of people. They enact those anecdotes to reinforce or spread that fear so they can sustain their existence.”

“So it was just trying to scare us?” Masaru asked, sounding rather bemused, “Well, it sure managed to do that. The bastard looks like something out of a horror manga, I swear.”

“From what I gather, it wasn’t consciously trying to scare you.” Tomos’ voice said calmly, “It bore no hostility, at the very least. Neither Keiko nor I warned you to be weary of it, no?”

Ayumu felt a bubbling sense of guilt flood the pit of his stomach, and a strange weight on his chest. He knew it somehow, but having his suspicions confirmed only made him feel worse. There was no hiding from his guilt.

“I think the Other wanted to ask for help.” Ayumu said softly, and Tomos neither confirmed nor denied the assertion in his silence.

“Then why didn’t it speak up?” Masaru asked, his pace slowing down considerably after being told that the Other didn’t pose any threat to them, “It just needed to-”

“I don’t think they could, Masaru.” Ayumu breathed, “Not all Others can talk, from what I’ve seen. I dunno if it matters at all, but they didn’t have a mouth.”

Ayumu heard Masaru groan audibly, obviously exasperated by his overactive sense of guilt. And of course, it’s not like it was any of his business that the Other needed help, but…

“If the Other really wasn’t dangerous, why didn’t you say anything, Tomos?” Masaru asked the cat, “You could see what happened just now.”

“To be blunt, I did not want to influence Ayumu’s choice.” Tomos said simply, “He needs to learn to make decisions regarding the Other independently. Just as the Other aren’t bound by human laws or morality, humans aren’t responsible for the Other- unless they willingly choose to be.”

“Fine.” Ayumu said, feeling frustrated. “I d-don’t want to get involved.” He blurted out, giving in to the sense of anxiety and fear.

“As you wish.” Tomos said, his voice impassive, “Perhaps for the best.”

“It is for the best.” Masaru said adamantly, with heavy emphasis on the ‘is’, “Ayumu doesn’t need to put his neck on the line for things that would hurt him without a second thought.”

...Well, Ayumu didn’t disagree with his friend, but the way he said it made something stir uncomfortably inside his stomach.

“Masaru…” Ayumu said, just loudly enough for Masaru to hear him over the ambient noise, “Please… don’t call the Other ‘it’- they’re not things. They can think for them-”

“Ayumu, you’re the one who has been tormented by things like that for years!” Masaru exclaimed angrily, disbelief evident in his voice, “Why are you so concerned about their feelings or what happens to them?!”

“It’s- it’s not that.” Ayumu said, frustrated with himself for not being able to fully articulate what he was feeling, “Tomos and Kei are also Others, so are you going to start calling them ‘it’?”

“That’s completely different-” Masaru began, though obviously more doubtful now that Ayumu brought up the topic of the two cats that were helping them,

“It isn’t to me.” Ayumu said firmly, “And besides, did the Other make people treat both of us horribly as well? If they can think for themselves, we should judge them by their actions.”

Ayumu heard Masaru sigh theatrically behind him and Ayumu rolled his eyes to himself.

“Fine, fine, you win. I’m sorry for talking like that about Others, Tomos. And Kei-chan too, I hope you both can forgive me.” Masaru said, sounding genuinely remorseful.

“It is fine. I care not of the judgement or hostility of a human- let alone that of a powerless, petulant youngling. Keiko is of the same mind, surely.” Tomos said, seemingly unperturbed but his words dripping condescension which made Ayumu think that Masaru really did touch a nerve, “You can rest assured that your lack of tact will not influence how we carry out our respective duties. We are not humans, after all, so pettiness does not interfere with our sense of prudrence.”

“Yeah, but considering your performance up until now, I don’t think that matters very much.” Masaru shot back, stung, and Ayumu wondered whether it was possible for cats to blush when he heard Tomos’ response-

“Perhaps you should speak not on topics you have very little knowledge of, Boy.” Tomos hissed back, “I am juggling quite a few variables to keep the situation favorable in the long term- a subtle art of which a shortsighted human might have very little understanding.”

“You don’t say! I hope you will enlighten us-” Masaru started, but Ayumu decided to cut him off,

“I’m sorry Tomos, Masaru can be a bit impatient in these kinds of situations.” Ayumu said quickly before his friend could protest, “And Masaru, please don’t hold yesterday against Tomos, he really was working with a lot of unforeseen circumstances.” Ayumu recalled Tomos’ talk of onmyouji and kami, “Can you two please not argue?”

“Fine, fine. I should not lower myself to bickering with human younglings.” Tomos said, exasperation clear in his tone.

“...I’m sorry too.I wouldn’t be able to see the same stuff Ayumu does without you, I think? And you’re helping Ayumu live with his powers. He’s put up with enough bullshit over the years because of them.” Masaru said, softening his tone to be more polite..

“You don’t have to put it like that, Saru.” Ayumu said, feeling equally embarrassed and guilty.

“I’m just being honest.” He replied matter-of-factly.

“Maybe you’re being too honest…” Ayumu grumbled to himself.

“...Thanks.” Ayumu breathed after a few moments.

“You’ve thanked me and apologized enough today to last me years.” Masaru said with a lighthearted laugh, “Stop it already.”

“I wasn’t the only one who was apologizing too much.” Ayumu grumbled, but didn’t say anything further. Neither did Masaru and they spent the rest of the journey in silence.

In less than five minutes the two boys were in front of Ayumu’s house again. Groceries in hand, Ayumu nodded to Masaru, who looked a bit concerned.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay until Auntie comes back?” Masaru asked him as he rummaged through the grocery bags.

“Yeah, I am.” Ayumu replied firmly. “I’ll be fine, Masaru.”

“If you say so…” He sighed, “Alright, I’ll be off. Just… don’t do anything stupid.”

“Hello Pot, I’m Mr. Kettle..” Ayumu retorted, feigning offense at the words.

“I guess I am a bad influence.” Masaru grinned, though it didn’t hide the lingering concern on his mind.

“Yes, the worst.” Ayumu huffed, before pulling out what he was looking for.

“Pocky? I thought you were the one telling me not to buy junk food.” Masaru raised his eyebrows at the box Ayumu was passing into his hands,

“Just… take it.” Ayumu said simply, “It’s me trying to make up for putting so much stress on you out of nowhere.”

“I will take it, but only because I like pocky.” Masaru said, “And not because I wanted an apology.”

“It’s not an apology!” Ayumu protested, “It just… wouldn’t feel right.”

“Fine, fine, it’s not an apology.” Masaru said, trying to keep his tone lighthearted, “Though I hope it’s not all I’m getting for being such an awesome friend.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s not get too carried away,” Ayumu tried to laugh to hide the guilt trying to seep out onto his face. “I’m still working on a pretty limited budget, so don’t expect anything fancy.”

“Alright, I’ll be heading off, then.” Masaru said as he mounted his bike again, “Bye Ayumu, bye Tomos. And please don’t be stubborn and refuse to tell Auntie again if you’re not feeling well.” Ayumu said the last sentence sternly.

“I-I will, don’t worry.” Ayumu said, suppressing a sigh as he waved goodbye to his friend.

“And- remember to send me pictures of Kei-chan, okay?” He called after him as he sped off and Ayumu received a thumbs up in response.

Ayumu slumped his shoulders as soon as his friend was out of sight and began making his way into his house, feeling rather relieved at being alone again. While he liked spending time with his friends, being in a public space with lots of people tired him out in the best of circumstances and no amount of support could change that fact.

“Hmph, I do not wish to judge you, but perhaps show a bit more grace while there aren’t people to witness you.” Tomos’ voice said, and the little bubble of delusional relief Ayumu had formed in his head popped and vanished.

“Hey Tomos… I- don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m kind of a private person. I need to be alone with myself to ‘recharge’, so could you…” Ayumu said meekly, hoping that the cat would leave him alone and do… whatever supernatural cats did when left to their own devices.

“Ah, right, you are an adolescent, after all. Do not worry I-” Tomos began, and it was obvious he was trying to sound understanding.

However, Ayumu went red and spluttered, “No! That’s not- I didn’t mean it like that! I’m serious, I just need some time when I can be alone, being around others tires me out!”

“Ah, I… apologize.” Tomos said, a hint of scepticism evident in his tone but otherwise it seemed that he was trying to take his word for it. Ayumu just shook his head and closed and locked the front door behind him and began to walk to the kitchen to put away the groceries.

“I shall make myself home on the roof when you feel that you require solitude, and I shall try to keep myself there while you sleep.” He added kindly as Ayumu left the bags on the kitchen counter and began separating what he needed to make dinner from the things that would go into the fridge and kitchen cupboards for later.

“You don’t need to stay on the rooftop most of the time.” Ayumu said, feeling slightly concerned about the cat, “Especially if the weather looks like it’ll turn bad. I’ll just… ask you to give me some time alone when I need it and call you back when I’m feeling better.”

“I see… I appreciate it.” Tomos replied softly.

Ayumu, admittedly, wasn’t too thrilled at the prospect of having an unofficial ‘roommate’. While he did occasionally stay over at Masaru’s house and vice-versa, he had the guarantee of returning to his room where he had lots of privacy. But now…

Ayumu internally told himself to get a grip as he finished getting everything in its place to prepare dinner, trying to get himself to look at the bright side. Maybe getting used to the extensive company of someone who wasn’t his friend might help him with his anxiety of being in public or his discomfort with new people.

He washed his hands and began preparing for dinner, for which he had decided to make eggplant over rice. It was simple, fast, and both he and his mother liked it, so it was the perfect dish.

Before long, the eggplants were cut into manageable pieces that would keep their shape after being cooked and lightly salted and left over a sieve so they could drain off their excess water. The rice was already cooking in the rice cooker, the potato starch was ready in the ziplock bag and all the seasonings beside the grated ginger were mixed in a bowl for convenience’s sake.

Ayumu only needed to wait for the eggplant to finish draining properly before he could begin cooking them, so he sat down on one of the dining table chairs and buried his head in his arms.

“...Hey, Tomos,” Ayumu said, turning his head to the side to look at nothing in particular, “I know you don’t want to influence my decisions, but…”

He trailed off, not quite sure how to phrase his question, but Tomos seemingly understood,“Unfortunately, you will find neither affirmation of guilt nor absolution from me. Why would you seek such things from someone who is not human anyway? I am not a part of your society, nor do I share a lot of your values.”

“Ugh… why must you make everything sound so complicated?” Ayumu said as he buried his face in his arms again, “Yeah, I guess I want to make the right decisions, is that such a bad thing? I know I can’t take my decisions back, but-”

“And that is that. Words and actions cannot be taken back, but you can try to make up for them. Regretting and obsessing over past actions does not do anyone any good.” Tomos cut him off sternly.

“...Fine.” Ayumu sighed, but he still felt a nagging feeling of guilt in the back of his head. He hated feeling like this, and just wanted it to go away. And that’s why he didn’t think his desire to help the Other--and perhaps, most people in his day to day life--was in any way righteous.

He looked towards the clock and tapped his foot impatiently, “Maybe I can read the Liber Nominum while I’m waiting…” He sighed to himself.

“That would be a good use of your time, yes.” Tomos said, and Ayumu was getting annoyed at how condescending his words felt.

He concentrated and extended his hand before him, trying to recreate the time he was successful in summoning the book to him. Seconds passed, and he could hear the faint thumping sounds coming from upstairs and making its way down the stairs.

It was taking rather long, so he took a deep breath and mentally yanked at the book. He didn’t know whether the action had any meaning at all, because it felt as though he was trying to command a limb that didn’t exist most of the ti-

With a dull sound the pocketbook-sized Liber Nominum collided with the back of his head, ricocheting upwards before falling somewhere in the middle of the table.

Ayumu cried out in pain as he promptly covered the part of his head that had been hit by the book with both hands.

“Well, that was a rather marked improvement. Even in your injured state you are learning to use your Subtle Body.” Tomos said in what Ayumu assumed was supposed to be an empathetic voice, but far from making Ayumu feel good it only made the throbbing pain in the back of his head all the more insufferable.

“Gee, thanks.” Ayumu hissed, snatching up the book and concentrating so it returned to its textbook-like size. It wasn’t as easy as he thought, as it took a bit of mental rummaging before he could be successful.

“Where should I start?” Ayumu asked, flicking through pages which seemed to be filled with nothing but gibberish characters.

“Tsuna had written a sort of introductory chapter for prospective Successors, but I believe it to be rather dry as far as reading material goes. You might want to begin with the chapter titled ‘Customs of the Spirits’ as I previously recommended, just so that you have a better understanding of me.”

Ayumu considered for a few moments and decided that he did want to find out more about the inner workings of the feline, so he flicked around the pages to find the chapter Tomos was talking about.

No sooner had he flipped a page with the intention of looking for the chapter than the chapter began forming itself from the collection of jumbled characters scrawled across the page. Ayumu’s eyebrows rose with dull surprise, but he had seen enough to not be too astonished nonetheless.

What he read wasn’t… quite what he was expecting. Tomos was right in that the writing wasn’t dry at all. The tone was very friendly and conversational, and it felt as though he was being explained a rather complicated topic by a friend who was really interested in it and had lots of stories they were eager to share…

But they, unfortunately, also used very difficult words and hard-to-parse jargon because they’d need more time to explain each individual idea otherwise.

Or that’s what he thought, but he realized that when he couldn’t understand a certain word and wished that it be defined for him, short notes materialized in the margins of the book- but instead of the conversational tone of the main passage, the prose for them was incredibly beige.

Ayumu finished a few pages and then closed his eyes, trying to internalize everything he had read.

He had an inkling that such was the case, but the Liber Nominum confirmed that ‘Others’ was the catch-all term for Thought-Beings- creatures who were the result of human belief and subjective perception of reality.

Their physical bodies are composed of “The Element of Existence” which was more commonly called Aether or Prima Materia or Hyle in various western schools of thought, but there are numerous names for it depending on the language.

They are given, or rather, ‘imposed’ consciousnesses through a phenomenon Ayumu still couldn’t parse well. Something about independent consciousnesses being effective black boxes to each other and collective imposition of subjectivity becoming objective through consensus, narratives as behavioral elaboration and justification...

Ayumu rubbed his fingers on his scalp in frustration. He couldn’t help but feel stupid and dim-witted even though he acknowledged that he wasn’t equipped to understand most of what he was being presented with.

Regardless, he focused on the practical side of the knowledge being presented to him. The long-winded, possibly quasi-philosophical, deliberations on the existence of Others would have to come later. Or never- since knowledge on the topic was rather superfluous for him.

As for what he could understand about the rather broad category of “Spirits”, they were bound to follow some rules because they were innately a part or periphery of “Human Systems”. It was not wholly their choice, but abiding by those behaviors stabilized their existences and granted them ‘legitimacy’.

But even if they aren’t dependent on following those protocols, because of how they interact with “Human Systems”, customs and protocols are a useful way to regulate Human-Other interactions.

Announcing one’s True Name to an Other is, more or less, giving them access to the ‘Self’ which has been socially imposed on a human, and for Others, promises and oaths made in personal capacity may as well be eternally binding contracts. Sacred Hospitality and its equivalent concepts are also very important to certain Others, who never enter into households without being specifically invited or brought in.

Ayumu admitted that he wanted to understand what a ‘socially imposed Self’ meant, but he had grown rather frustrated by the amount of notes he had to go through, so he gave up by the time the topic came up. Perhaps later. Or he could ask Tomos to explain it to him.

Though it was interesting to Ayumu that ‘True Names’ aren’t always just the name given to a person at birth. If there are naming ceremonies acknowledged by large sections of society or a community, then the name one receives during the ceremony becomes their True Name.

Therefore, Baptismal Names, Funerary Names, names given to buddhist monks after being ordained, names women take after marriage, names given through the Aqiqah ceremony are all ways to be assigned True Names for humans.

Ayumu wondered whether changing one’s official name for some reason also made it their True Name… He would need to ask Tomos about it later.

“So…” Ayumu started slowly, “I guess we needed to exchange names to make a proper contract between us?”

“Yes, more or less. You can forge contacts under pseudonyms, of course, but they are inherently flimsy in nature if it is the human who used a pseudonym. For us spirits- in fact, for all categories of Other, since our names are important parts of our existences, trying to forge a contract under a pseudonym greatly diminishes our power.”

“Oh, that sounds bad.” Ayumu said, a hint of worry in his voice, “I hope being called Tomos doesn’t weaken you or anything.”

“No such thing occurs.” Tomos replied lightly, “Knowing the True Name of an Other allows you to face them with Spiritual Arts better, as your attacks are then directed to their beings rather than being directionless- which is also true vice-versa. An Other can harm a human- even those without the Senses- if they know their True Names, especially if that True Name was directly given to them by the human.”

“I see… Does that mean I shouldn’t call my friends by their names when I’m around Others that might be dangerous?” Ayumu asked, his concern mounting.

“Do not worry, your True Name is not simply your first name, nor nicknames derived from your first name.” Tomos explained patiently, “True Names are the names given to you in some official capacity, so only your full name counts.”

“I see- that’s a relief.” Ayumu sighed. He stretched his arms and legs when the rice cooker beeped, signalling the rice being done cooking, and he went to finish preparing dinner.

But before that, he opened another can of Tuna and placed it on the table.

“I do not require regular meals. Eating is more of a pleasure than a necessity for me, so…” Tomos said imperiously as he materialized in front of the can of tuna, but Ayumu snickered at how intently the cat was watching the can.

“There is nothing to be amused about.” Tomos scoffed at Ayumu, to which he replied,

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. And it’s alright, We have some kind fish pretty often, so I can get just a bit more for you. It isn’t that much trouble.” Ayumu said, wondering whether Tomos will allow him to pet him regularly if he bribes him enough.

“That is… very kind of you.” Tomso replied graciously, but Ayumu could hear just a hint of giddy joy behind his words.

Ayumu left Tomos to his meal and went to prepare his own. Now that the salt had seasoned the eggplant and drawn out some of the moisture from the vegetable, he could cover the pieces in potato starch and fry them.

Before long, the fried eggplant was simmering cooking in the lightly thickened sauce made of mirin, soy sauce, sugar and ginger and the kitchen was filled with the nice aromas.

Just as Ayumu was scooping the rice into his and his mother’s bowls, he heard the front door open. His eyes instantly darted towards the clock and then to the table where Tomos and the half-eaten can of tuna still lay open.

Tomos, without his prompting, had already lept towards him and dove into his shadow as though it was a pool of water. He had left behind two shadow-hands, which carried the can into the fridge and promptly vanished afterwards.

Ayumu sighed in relief and returned to plating up the food, acting as though he didn’t hear his mother entering the house.

“I’m home…” He heard his mother, Maeno Ayano, say and he turned to find her standing at the door, looking incredibly concerned.

“Welcome back.” Ayumu smiled nonchalantly as she almost jogged towards him, “You’re back early… I decided to-” He was cut off by his mother hugging him briefly and then checking his temperature by putting her hand on his forehead.

“I can’t believe you’re not resting!” His mother exclaimed, “I see that you’re not feverish anymore but-”

“Mom, I’m fine. It’s alright.” Ayumu said softly, gently removing his mother’s hand from his forehead before putting some distance between them, ignoring her falling expression all the while “It was two by the time I woke up, and the fever was gone too.”

“I understand,” his mother said, her voice becoming stern, “But that doesn’t mean that you should be moving around and working with fire and hot oil. You could have waited for me to come back-”

Ayumu didn’t reply and simply kept his eyes on the floor, nodding and saying ‘yes’ or ‘I understand’ periodically.

The bitter, petty part of him still holding on to that old grude felt a sense of defiant satisfaction- and that part was so powerful that it overcame his usually overactive sense of guilt.

She said so herself- she wanted a normal child who wasn’t so much of a burden on her all the time. He was simply granting her wish, so why should he feel guilty?

And that is why he would never tell his mother-or his father, for that matter-about the Other and the Senses. Ever. They can have their normal child.

And he can have parents who were not reluctant to be his parents.