The thought of having to tell Margot about what had happened petrified Josh. Margot was intimidating in a way that few people were, somewhere in the middle between high school mean girl and drill sergeant—though she didn’t behave like either. She behaved like a young mom trying to be a cool parent, but somehow that was even worse. And while Josh trusted Sara, more or less, he didn’t trust her insistence to share his dream with her mother.

“I don’t really feel comfortable with that.” Had been Josh’s initial reply.

Of course, Sara had not relented. “I’m not going to force you, and I won’t tell her myself, but this isn’t the sort of thing you should keep quiet about.”

“There was more too it, it’s not just what happened and what I saw.” Josh didn’t want to say too much, but he couldn’t think of a better reason to deny Sara’s advice.

“I know you felt terrified, but you didn’t explain why.” Sara was ready to dig deeper into the problem that Josh had thought, and he couldn’t deny that it felt nice to have someone else try to understand what he was feeling.

Josh was hesitant to share the detail that bothered him the most over text, but he realized that, short of inviting Sara over in person, there wasn’t exactly any part of this he was really comfortable talking about. “It was the marks mostly. I can still remember what they look like. I haven’t been able to do that before.”

“Really?”

“I actually drew them. But I don’t want to take a picture of them.”

“Can I come over and see them myself? I’m curious what would happen if I looked at them.”

“Would anything?”

“I don’t know. If they freak you out so much, there might be something to it.”

Though he’d imagined it as possible the only scenario where he might feel comfortable sharing actual images of what he had seen, Josh didn’t want Sara to come over. He was a mess, his space was a mess, and the reality of what he’d experienced—dream or not—still haunted him. He glanced down at his notebook where he had sketched the marks while he weighed the risks and benefits of letting Sara get as close to him and his problems as she was proposing. The sight of the strangers mark, the one that had been on the shriveled arm from the other bubble in his dream, filled him with dread. But the longer he looked at the mark he had seen before, the spiral, the less bothered by it he was. It was still laced with trauma, but it seemed to be intrinsically, not good. Perhaps neutral. Neutral in a way that the stranger’s mark was not.

“Fine. But just you.”

After agreeing to have Sara over, and telling her where his apartment was, Josh waited. He kept his eyes alert for any movement in the apartment or even in the hallway outside it. He would recognize the sound of Kerry on his way, his roommate always wore his keys on a clip he attached to his belt loops. The sound of jingling keys was distinct two, since Kerry only kept three on the key chain. And for all his listening, Josh heard nothing.

He listened so hard and heard nothing that when a knock came at the apartment door he was nearly shocked. He hadn’t heard anyone get close, and he had been hearing footsteps all day. And, of course, as he peered through the peep hole in the door he saw Sara standing nervously outside in the open hallway.

Sara knocked again before Josh could open the door, but he managed to start on the lock before she stopped knocking. Cut short, Sara backed away and gave a nervous glance around the hallway before Josh opened the door and silently gestured her in.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea…” Sara started. “I’m just hear to comfort… no… that’s bad. I’m here to hear the whole thing from you. If that can help you calm down, it’s a win.”

Josh nodded soberly, eager for some reason to have a truly sympathetic ear at his disposal. “Do you mind… coming back into my room? I don’t want to risk Kerry barging in and seeing you here.”

“Does he not like me?”

“Not exactly.” Josh scratched the back of his neck nervously, already worried that his roommate would pop in while they were talking just inside the door. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want to take the drawings out of my room either. And trust me, it’s as awkward to have a girl in my room as it is for you—the girl—to be in it.”

Sara’s cheeks went flush immediately. She hadn’t actually thought about that insinuation, at least not fully. “Oh. Right. Yeah. Not a big deal.”

It was, however, a big deal to Sara. She had never really been in a real boy’s room. Connor didn’t count in her mind, he was like a younger brother and best friend. Josh was still mostly an unknown factor, still intriguing, still a wild card. And so, pushing hard against her internal hesitations better judgement, Sara followed Josh into his cramped bedroom. Though, it was hardly a bedroom at all. It was more like a big closet that had had a loft bed and study desk crammed in one corner and a plastic three drawer dresser shoved in the other.

The floor was littered with the odd piece of clothing and notebook, as Josh hadn’t bothered to clean up amid his anxiety. In fact, the mess had gotten much worse since his dream. Loose sheets of partially sketched marks or badly written out accounts of the dream were scattered on the floor where he had thrown them after tearing them out of his notebook. The failure to communicate his experience had only made his stress level higher, but the tearing of the page had been cathartic enough to balance the stress out.

“I don’t expect you to have the same reaction I did, but here.” Josh ambled over to his desk and retrieved the notebook with the drawings page open. “The one of the left is the weird one, the one on the right is what I see on your arm.”

Josh looked down to Sara’s arm as he spoke. Her left arm was fully exposed as Sara was just wearing a t shirt over a tank top. Josh watched the spiral pattern on her arm as she reached out to take the notebook, completely forgetting the panic he had felt that whole day. But only for a moment.

“What on earth is that…” Sara sounded dumbstruck, maybe even a little disgusted. “That looks… so wrong. I can’t… I can’t explain why either.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s not terrifying exactly. But it looks… twisted? Like a corruption? Maybe that’s a good word…” Sara was transfixed on the page with the stranger’s mark drawn on it. “Or maybe it’s like the mark is the actual negative space and the skin is the real mark.”

Sara’s final comment made the muscles on the left side of Josh’s face twitch. It felt accurate. Far too accurate for his own comfort. Almost too accurate for her to have come up with just by looking at his sketch. But the only way she would have had any insight into the mark was if she already knew about it, like seeing it was a common thing.

Rather than beat around the bush, Josh asked her directly. “Have you ever seen that before? Or something like it?”

“No. Not ever.” Sara was adamant, and a little put off by the insinuation. “I’ve been able to see my mom’s mark my entire life and it’s always been the same. And when Connor got his, and when I got mine they’re the same. Like an infinite ocean wave made of feathers.”

“Have you ever seen anyone else with a mark?” Josh’s skepticism was starting to take over and replace his anxieties—or perhaps they were merging into paranoia.

“My… aunt. She can’t visit much because it’s hard for her to travel. But she had the same mark.”

“And there’s not different kinds of marks, are there?” Josh wasn’t about to let this go. “Because we all see them the same way, what if we all see the same mark the same way and different marks differently than the ones you guys have?”

Sara put the notebook down and turned to Josh with an expression of frustration and concern. “Look. I’m still worried about you, but you’re getting a little weird. I know not being to ask my mom as many questions as you want is tough, but learning about marks and the way the world really works and these other things that you have to deal with now… that takes time. If you don’t slow don’t you’re going to get overwhelmed and you’ll probably have more dreams like this.”

“Fine.” Josh frowned but Sara was right, he was losing his cool. “You’re a really honest person and I shouldn’t take advantage of that. So, thank you, Sara.”

At the sound of her name, Sara seemed to perk up like a dog that had heard the word walk and was about to get exactly what they wanted most. But she quickly hid her joy and refocused to the problem at hand.

“I still think you should talk to my mom about this. Because I don’t know anything about this other mark, but the fact that you were able to draw this on your own without looking a real mark isn’t normal.”

“What do you mean?” Josh had figured there was some sort of effect that prevented him from being able to recall details about the marks he had seen if he wasn’t looking at them, but it wasn’t a question that had come up or been answered.

“Well, they look different to everyone because they defy the way we perceive the world. And for someone that can see them but doesn’t have one of their own, it’s even more difficult to linger on. It’s like trying to save an MP3 as a PDF file on a computer.”

Josh’s eyes widened as the analogy finally made the disconnect click into place for him. “That makes so much sense. I can understand that. Why can’t your mom talk like that when she’s explaining things?”

“My mom might look like a teenager, but she’s old.” Sara snickered. “That, and she’s not great at talking to people. But that kind of runs in the family.”

After a pause, Sara spoke up again. “But you should still talk to her about this. She might not be great at talking to younger people like us because of it, but she has seniority. My mom and seen and experienced stuff that most people haven’t, even people with marks. And I don’t think what you saw is going to change much of what she plans to do for you.”

“She’s not going to force a mark on me, is she?” Josh had blurted out his worst fear, almost effortlessly. And while it was somewhat embarrassing, it felt calming to admit.

“Not possible.” Sara smile and put a hand gently on her own mark. “Passing on a mark is a fully consensual process. It can’t be forcibly given or taken. And it’s kind of a personal and meaningful thing too, so I don’t think anyone would rush you in that direction. Definitely not if you weren’t interested.”

While that was reassuring, Josh still didn’t feel entirely comfortable talking to Margot. But talking with Sara seemed fine, maybe even comforting, and it made Josh wonder if that would translate over into a conversation with Margot if Sara was part of it.

“You’re probably right, I should talk to Margot, but would you stay close by when I do?” Josh felt embarrassed to ask, but it was the only thing he could think to do. “Not that… you know. I don’t know that much about all this yet, and I’m not sure I really do if dreams like this are going to keep happening or worse, but you know a decent amount and you aren’t your mother. Maybe you could help direct and explain things in a way that doesn’t put me at a disadvantage?”

“You mean you want me to moderate your discussion with my mom?”

“I guess? I just don’t want to agree to anything that might oblige me to things in the future that I can’t know for whatever reason and won’t be comfortable with.”

“No. That makes sense. Like having a lawyer.” Sara chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s just funny because you want to be a lawyer.”

“I guess that’s ironic, but I’d be stupid not to consult an expert that understands where I’m at.” Josh laughed quietly at the irony, but tried to stay as serious as he could. “When should I come over to talk to her?”

“Just come over tomorrow after classes. You were already going to anyway, right? But just get there early so you get some time in before self-defense practice.” Sara moved towards the door as if she was suddenly eager to leave. “Unless you don’t want to start that just yet.”

“No, self-defense practice is fine.” Josh nodded. He had almost forgotten about agreeing to learn and then forgotten what day it was amid his anxiety. “Just. Just don’t tell anyone about this yet. Okay?”

“Only if you never tell my mom, on pain of death, that I’ve been in your room.”

The request caught Josh off guard. It made sense given how protective Margot seemed to be of her daughter, but Sara was an adult. She was autonomous. She could go where she pleased. But there might have been other agreements that she had made with her mother about spending time with boys.

Josh shook off his confusion and agreed immediately. “Done.”

“Then my lips are sealed.” Sara pressed her lips together and made a zipping motion over them. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Without any other questions or answers, Sara made her way out of the apartment with Josh at her heels to courteously show her out. He also wanted to be sure he couldn’t hear Kerry coming. If his roommate saw Sara in the building he would start making guesses and would get it right eventually. After Sara left, Josh kept his ear to the door and listened. He didn’t hear Sara walk away, and he didn’t hear Kerry. He found himself in much the same position he had been in when he was waiting for Sara to arrive. It was almost as if she hadn’t shown up at all.