(3rd Person View)

The tavern where people drink and dance is now in middle of a bar brawl. There a boy is mercilessly beating down a bald man. A joker is beating on an unknown stranger. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?

(Vlad POV)

Currently I am punching the arrogant motherfucker as hard as I can, he seems he is gonna fall soon but I ain’t someone to give in. I’ll beat him black and blue for what he said.

*Flashback to the beginning of the day*

TOO HUNGRY! I should go eat something. All this burying has made me tired.

I start heading toward the tavern at full force. On the way I notice something. SHIT! My coin pouch! I think I left it at the murder scene.

I go back to the murder scene, there I search for my pouch. I find a tree branch. Blood and chunks of flesh is lodged in it.

It is very clear that the murderer has no weapons, and killed her with a wood stick. Now that I remember it, while punching the bald guy he didn’t have a weapon, did he? And he did the deed with her yesterday.

But there are loads of noobs who doesn’t use or have weapons even for safety. Are they retarded? Anyways I should head to the tavern for now as I think I left my pouch while eating dinner there.

I start heading there….

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I reach the tavern. The bald guy is still drinking there, like the fuck is wrong with you man!? Are you too rich or too NEET? Wait I need to investigate him. I head to his table.

“Friend, sorry for yesterday. Today drink is on me. HEY WAITRESS! Bring a daily dunk drink for two!”

“Ey! Do ye think it is easy to fuck with me!? Eh!? Bring me da Rotburn ale!” WHAT THE FUCK!? IT IS TOO EXPENSIVE!

Bro let me make myself clear. I AM GONNA FUCKING OWN YOU BITCH!!!

“Waitress you heard the man!” The waitress brings the ale to him and me. I drink it and he drinks it.

“This is the best!” I take the pretense of a drunken man. I wonder why the ale’s effect didn’t affect me yet though.

“Hey friend today I looked at you and you seemed pretty happy. Did something good happen?”

“Yea Ah gave it good to a hoe the other day. She told me before that Ah am to low classed for the bitch! But then Ah stole her bag and made her do it. Hehe.”

“Oh, where can I find her? I’ve been feeling lonely these few days.”

“Ya can’t. I took care of dat cunt.”

“Won’t the law enforcement punish you? What will you do then?”

“Law enforcement won’t do shit for a hoe like her.”

“Killing is going a little overboard, don’t you think?” I tell him threateningly.

“What? Ye gonna run to yer mama telling that killings no good?” He insults me.

“Now now. Don’t bring parents into this conversation.” I tell him lightly.

“I fucked ur mama and gave born to ur papa bitch! I don’t care about any parents!” Now he said something that is infuriating.

Just at that moment the drink kicks in and I lose my sanity.

(Joker POV)

Where is the lad I wonder? I’ll head to tavern and go joke a little. HAHAHAHA!

I enter and see a really funny scene. An all out BRAWL.

“Let me join in the fun!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Ah the lad is beating on a bald man. Did the bald man do anything I wonder? HAHAHAHAHAHA!

****Flashback end****

That’s how it came to this

(Vlad POV)

I keep punching until he collapses and I collapse from the alcohol in the ale.

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I open my eyes and FUCK! THAT HEADACHE! When my eyes are cleared up I am shocked yet again.

WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME!? YOU DAMN JOKING BITCH!

The joker is sitting cross legged beside me. Seems he also joined the brawl.

Where is the bald guy? I look everywhere and see him collapsed. I take his body and strap it to a chair.

Now I am gonna give him to the law enforcement after a little torture. HEHEHEHEHE! I am not gonna torture him much. Just gonna cut his tongue and dick. That’s all.

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Performing a surgery is pretty hard if I do say so myself. HAHAHAHA! Shit! I don’t want a joker syndrome! After that I dumped the screaming man in front of the law enforcement office.

Case solved I guess. I AM NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES. Am I? NO! I will go to douche band and take another request to earn the money that I lost due to the expensive ale.

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I am at the Douche Band (Adventurers guild). I am searching for a good request. It seems that new requests came in.

“Escort an important cargo

Rewards: 20’000g”

ISN’T THAT REWARD A BIT MUCH!? What will be escorted, a princess!? That would be good in many ways. Yes many ways after all. Hehehe.

I take the escort request and go to the meeting location at the right time.

A maid is standing there.

“Hello? Did you make the request of escorting?” I ask politely.

“Yes. You are the one who took the request I suppose?” She politely replies.

“Yes. Then who should I escort? And to where? You weren’t very specific on the details.” I ask.

“Ah sorry about that. You will escort an important person today. She is my master’s daughter. Her name is Anastasia.”

ISN’T THAT REALLY A PRINCESS!? AN OJOU-SAMA HAS APPEARED! ‘SHE’ IS THE CARGO!?

“So when do we depart?” Wait why am I the only person here? No one else took the request. Ah! The request had just arrived back then. I remembered. I did good taking the request before anyone.

“We will depart in a moment. We will go to Fairy Grove City.” Oh that’s not too far. Why would they need an escort for that? They aren’t merchants. So why?

“I need to know as I am the one escorting. How important is she? Is she a princess or something?” I ask deliberately.

“Ah no. It’s just that the master pampers her a lot and is sending her on a vacation to their ancestral home. But he doesn’t want her to go alone. Thus arranging an escort.” I Guess that’s what happens when you have too much money to waste or you are too much dumb.

Well there is the bandit problem. I think I will have to deal with a few bandits on the way.

She comes out. Damn. She deserves the title Ojou-sama. High class clothing, blonde hair, beautiful face and gracious curves she has it all. But she seems arrogant so a no go.

We get into the carriage and depart for the Fairy Grove City.

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Author here. This is my third chapter. Please leave a comment on how I may improve my writing. And please comment if you want a harem or single.