Evening turns to night and kerosene lamp gets turned on. Hatsuga is already lying down in his futon, preparing to go to sleep. Moe lies beside him making baby noises with the occasional cough and trying to grab at his fingers. The fold-out table also doubles as a writing desk, Mother and I sit on one edge and Kaika sits on the opposite, continuing her extra work. This time it's a new garment and she's making the seams look nice.

"Okay. What do you want to tell Kizashi and Shibomu?" Mother places the mulberry papers in front of me and hands me a pencil. The flame of the lamp dyes the table with a soft orange glow.

"Well," I hmm-ed, then listing everything out, "I want to ask if they're doing okay. And that I miss them. And if they're getting enough to eat. And if they're taking care of themselves."

Shibomu is already a shinobi, he graduated and got his genin rank and hitai-ate two years ago. I've only seen him a few times when I was younger but that was so long ago that his face is getting very fuzzy in my memory. He sent home quite a bit of letters and pictures before so I know what he looks like now but his last letter was a while ago. Like Hisao's brother. They went to the Academy at the same time too. They must be real busy with missions and the war stuff. Shibomu is my oldest brother. He doesn't really talk much about his life in Konoha. His letters are short and concise.

Kizashi is my second oldest brother. He's almost graduating from the Academy soon. He also has the funniest shaped hair out of all of us boys. I guess he takes after Father that way. The letters he sends back are funny and tells us all about his life in the Academy. Learning awesome ninjutsu and taijutsu. He can make clones of himself and move at super fast speeds! He makes being a ninja sound super cool, like the broadcasts on the radio.

Mother nods, making soft sounds of acknowledgement. Mhm-ing and Ahh-ing as she writes my questions down, "Anything else?"

"Mhm! Tell them I'm going to be a super strong shinobi just like them!" I say, "There was something on the radio today. A recruitment drive. When I enroll in the Academy, I'm going to send you all of my monthly stipend so you can buy Kaika-nee a new kimono. And so you can fix that leaky part of the roof."

Mother drops her pencil. Kaika stops sewing. Hatsuga gets up. Moe lets out a little bubbling cough that gradually grows louder. Soon after, they all go back to what they were doing before. Kaika goes back to sewing. Hatsuga goes back to playing with Moe and trying to get her to fall asleep.

"W-well." Mother's hands start shaking as she picks up the pencil with her thin fingers, "That's a very nice thought. But you don't have to-"

"Nope," I say, "I promised Hisao and Daiki."

"Hey c'mere," Mother presses the pencil into my hands. I grip it tightly with my fingers instead of my fists. I've been practicing with a small stick with Hisao and Daiki. To my surprise Daiki knows how to write, so he's been teaching me some too, "I'll teach you how to write our family name now." She guides my hand across the bottom of the letter and proceeds to write.

"See this?" Mother says, pointing at the first kanji that she'd written, "This means spring. Haru." Then at the second half, "And this means field. No. This is your name. Did you get it?"

I nod and I try my best to copy what she wrote on the other letter, sticking my tongue out in absolute concentration as I move the pencil in very delicate strokes. "Ha. Ru. No. To. Ru. Haruno Toru." I had written my first name in katakana instead. Mother hasn't taught me how to write my name in kanji. Yet.

"Let's go post these at the post office tomorrow." She pats my head and smiles. There's a hint of sadness in her eyes. At that time I didn't know why.