The village is now blanketed with a layer of pure white snow. Winter is here.

While we have enough for the winter, replacing our old hanten with new stuffing instead of ordering new ones kept our coin-purses filled and buying extra material to stuff our futon with. I also recently found out that Hatsuga is really good at haggling, which he tried to teach me but I'm not good at it. At all.

He gave me a tip. If possible, do that and the merchant's hearts will quiver and shake to the point where they'll give me discounts (his words, not mine). I don- I don't want to do that. It's- It's unbecoming of a man. I want to hide in my futon and scream into my pillow. It's just... that bad. But Hatsuga did say it might help when I'm in Konoha so...

Sigh, whatever. I do it anyway. A useful skill is a useful skill. Especially when it comes to saving money. I am planning to send most of my stipend back to my family after all so surviving with the least amount of money helps.

He doesn't ask about that time at the Post Office. With my hearing. Maybe I just have better hearing than him?

Me, Kaika and Hatsuga are really happy with the roasted sweet potatoes that we're finally able to enjoy for dinner. Father's more focused on work after what the three of us call the 'sake situation' although I have caught him staring off into space a couple of times with a sad look on his face. Mother? Mother puts on a strong face for the entire family.

Moe's bubbling coughs grows worse. The doctor doesn't know what he can do to cure her completely. The appointments become a heavier burden on our coin-purses because of how often Mother has to take her there.

Moe doesn't seem to be getting any better.

A small, wooden box arrives at our house two months later, deep into winter, in the late evening. Evenly spaced planks of wood, held together with the kind of shiny metal that I've never seen before. I recognize the small kanji written on the top of the box, the first two only though. Spring. 春. Field. 野. Haruno! A good feeling blossoms in the middle of my chest, spreading out to my entire body once I realize that I can read the kanji.

"Haruno! That's our name! I can read the kanji! Kaa-chan." I point at the jumble of lines that look very carefully etched into the surface of the wood. It's small. Almost too small to be read but I know those strokes anywhere. I've been practicing them in the snow.

Mother doesn't seem to be able to hear anything that I'm saying or doing. Her hands are clenched close to her chest. I can see them shake. Her legs look like they're about to give out.

Father has his arm around Mother's shoulders, gripping them tightly. His eyebrows comes together into a tight expression, his eyes narrow and downcast at the box. He moves to open the box a couple of times but his hands always fall half-way across.

Kaika's lips are set into a grim line as her eyes focuses on the wooden box by the genkan. She's unsure of what's going on but she can tell that the atmosphere isn't looking so good. She can read the situation better than I can.

Hatsuga's hands are firm on the sides of my shoulders. So tight as if he's pulling me back from stepping forward any further closer to the box. He holds me in place. I can't see his expression but by how heavy his breathing is. I'd say it's a good chance that his expression matches all of theirs.

It's just a box! It's probably just a present or a souvenir from Konoha. To make up for not sending us any letters for a really long time. Souvenirs!

I struggle out of Hatsuga's grip and rush towards the box, popping it open with a click.

"Toru." Hatsuga calls out to me but I slip out from the reach of his fingers quick enough.

Inside the box are various small objects and trinkets placed neatly to fit in the small square. Some scrolls stacked one over the other on the left. Some knife things and metal stars lay on the bottom of the box, over the top of some hardcover books that seems to be a diary of sorts (well, that and the kanji for diary is right on top. I know this because Kaika has one that she keeps underneath her dresser). A small scroll with a thick black band marked on both edges.

Finally a navy blue hitai-ate with the symbol of Konoha etched on the front lies on the very top of the box.

"It's just souvenirs!" I pick up the book and show it to my parents, "Maybe Shibomu-nii wrote all his responses in this book. See? K-kaa-chan?"

Mother just looks in the inside of the box with a vacant expression, her strong face dropping real quick at the count of three. Father spins her around and presses her face into his shoulder, arms protectively around her back that looks unbelievably small today, in this moment.

I pick up the hitai-ate and wrap it around forehead to show Hatsuga, striking an appropriate pose, "I'm a ninja now! Shinobi-man."

I lower my hands to see Hatsuga's and Kaika's reactions. It's not what I expected. They look like a mixture of sadness and being pissed off, Hatsuga mostly.

"Oi. Toru." Hatsuga says, his cool green eyes reflecting the flame of the fire towards me. His voice chilling me to the bone, "Stop it. Take that off."

I remove the hitai-ate from my forehead, the fabric dropping from my head with little to no resistance and clatters noisily on the wooden floor.

"Why? W-what's wrong?" I say, eyes darting around the room, scanning everyone's faces for an answer, "Why? Why is everyone upset at me? This box is Shibomu's present to all of us. We should be happy!"

Mother's choked sobs pierces through me, making me feel more empty and broken than the cracking I experience through my many endless dreams. Like the sharp of the knife if I'm not careful with it. Like the pricking of the needle if I'm not paying attention even though Kaika said to focus. It hurts. Everything hurts. This isn't supposed to be like this.

I don't- I don't understand.

I run out of the house.

When I reluctantly come back home a few hours later, the box is gone. Everything in the box too. Gone. There's no sign of it ever being in the house in the first place. It was like nothing happened. Like no box, like no signs of Shibomu. All of his trinkets in the house are gone too. The things that he left behind before leaving for Konoha. Gone.

Mother has her strong face back on, nursing Moe with the herbal concoction for medicine. Father sits on the engawa outside of the house with a gourd of sake, his eyes never leaving a certain spot underneath trunk of the Sakura tree, near the roots. He doesn't acknowledge me except with a passing, "Toru."

Kaika and Hatsuga are busy doing their own work. Kaika with her careful sewing and Hatsuga with shelling the extra chestnuts to be sold on the streets. Nobody said anything about the box. Or the strange reactions that they all had. I'm left in the dark about what happened.

It's only much, much more later that I realize that that the contents of the box aren't just souvenirs that Shibomu sent back.